yay for milk. hope the docs can help with the pain
yay for milk. hope the docs can help with the pain
On Saturday evening I was playing with Tyler in his room and felt a little back pain and I went to the restroom to see if there was anything going on. At this point I was exactly 39 weeks pregnant. I wiped and saw some bloody show but it was very slight. Just a light brown/pinkish. I went back to playing in Tyler’s room with him and I noticed that the pain in my back was getting worse so I paid attention to it and it was coming along with contractions. I had been contracting for weeks to where they were merely uncomfortable but this was different. It started out with pressre in my bottom and then spead to some pretty serious back pain. I didn’t really start to time them because I was busy texting my midwife friend Kristen to see what she thought was happening. I kept walking into the kitchen smiling and saying “ yeah these are hurting” to Tim. It was about time for Tyler to get to bed thankfully it was around 9:30 at this time. Kristen suggested that I call and let the midwife know and also to see who the midwife was on call. I called and Mary called me back and said to come on in in about an hour. At this time we started running around like chickens with our heads cut off. I called my friend Terri who was going to sit with Tyler and she came right over after we got Tyler down for the night. We also called our doula to let her know we were heading in as well. On the way there in the car the contractions got more painful to where I had to hold on to the door and the arm rest to get through them. My mom and dad and grandma let us know they were on the way as well.
When Mary checked me upon arrival at 10:30pm I was at 4cm and 70-80% effaced and he was at -1 station. This was progress from the week before where I was 3cm, 50% and -2. She said “That means you stay here” so we settled in for the night of labor. I asked if I could get in the tub and she said I couldn’t at the time because it was still early labor and didn’t want to stall it. I really wanted to get into that tub to help but didn’t push it. The doula Michelle arrived and started helping me through the contractions and they had continued to stay in my back. She helped apply some presssure to my back and help me rock through them. We all continued to labor through them for a couple hours and when Mary checked me again she said I was at the SAME. And he had actually moved up some. This was around 1:15 and I couldn’t understand how I hadn’t made progress because I was in some PAIN. She started to say sometimes she sends women home at this point etc and I remember thinking there is no way in HELL I can do this at home lady. We discussed the fact that I was tensing up during contractions and I told her I could feel myself clinching all in my bottom and not opening up to let them work. As much as I knew I should.... until it starts happening its near impossible not to go with your natural instinct which is to clinch and fight it off. At the thought of going through all of this with this much pain all in my back I would not be able to do it. We decided I could get in the tub some to help with the relaxing of everything and this is when I really prepped myself mentally and had to start giving into it. I labored in the tub for a little while all the while fearing in the back of my mind that I wasn’t making progress again.
While in the tub things got more intense fast and even though the contractions weren’t coming quite as fast they were much stronger and double peaking. My mom arrived and I was not really sure what to feel and think with her in there and I could see tears in her eyes. I am not sure if her being there comforted me enough or made me hell bent on showing her I could do this but things continued to pick up. During one contraction I asked Mary if I could have the nubain because I knew they had a little something there to hep take the edge off. Mary said “I can’t let you be in the tub if I give you that” and she also made some calls to the assistants and prepped a waiver. Really at this time is when it becomes a blur. At this point all I could think of was the pain and how I couldn’t do it anymore. She checked me and said I was at a 6cm and she could stretch it and I could start pushing. I continued to labor out of the tub for a few minutes and Mary told me I was doing much better in the tub so to get back in. In trying to walk over to the tub I made up my mind that they needed to take me to the hospital. I envisioned someone taking the pain all away and that seemed very appealing. I started yelling at Tim to get our crap because we are going. He told me “ that is not what you wanted and that is not what you want for Bradley” I told him I didn’t F**King care anymore and that I was done. Somehow I tried to go pee and couldn’t so Mary told me to get into the tub and try. I think she knew it was coming fast and knew I wanted to be in there and she had distracted me from wanting the medicine they had. I moved all around the bed and even squatted at one time and tried to labor and push him down a little.
So I got back into the tub and labored a while all the while SCREAMING at the top of my lungs and making some weird moaning sounds and pretty much growling and she checked me and I was at 9cm. POP...there went my water I was immediately at a 10cm. She told me start pushing. I got back on my hands and knees in the tub and started pushing. It literally felt like my bottom was going to explode. I reached back there and it was all inside out feeling. I assumed this couldn’t be normal and told them so numerous times. They said it was ok and totally normal. Pushing was good to me because then I had a way to focus the pain instead of trying to run away from the contractions like I had been. I was literally lifting myself out of the tub with each one trying to run away from it. I continued to push on my hands and knees and I reached down and could feel some wrinkly skin and said “what the hell is that?” and Tim laughed at me and said what do you think? But it felt funny and squishy and not like a head. The midwife reached in and was stretching me and positioning him better and it was a lot to take so I told her to stop it. She told me one time it was just the baby moving around and I could feel her had so I told her to stop lying to me! She said I needed to flip over so I turned around and leaned back and pushed that way just a couple times and felt his head come out. I was fully immersed in the water and wanted to push again to get the rest of him out and she told me to hang on a minute as he had his arm presented by his face. She gave me the go ahead and I pushed the rest of him out. They sat him up on my chest and rubbed him and actully brought the O2 over because he really hadn’t had much contraction time with the water broken and was born into the water etc. So he pinked right up and I stayed in the tub until the placenta came out about 10 minutes later. When she gently tugged on it the tub filled with blood! Scared me honestly but she said that was a normal amount.
Tim cut the cord after the placenta was delivered and we got up from the tub and moved over to the bed. We got to rest for a bit with just us and he started nursing right away. He even tried to nurse right away in the tub. Born nurser just like his big brother. It was great to know that we shouldn’t have a problem.
We sat on the bed a while and just bonded and they kept checking on me and my bleeding and baby. After a while they came over to the bed and weighed him and did the newborn exam. We had all been remarking that he looked smaller than Tyler who was 7 lb 8 oz. They put him on the scale and I couldn’t see because I was on the bed and they asked me what I thought.... and it popped up at 8 lb 6 oz. She measured his head and it was 14 ¾ inches. On top of presenting with a nuchal arm she was impressed. He was perfect!
She checked me for tears and sadly I tore pretty bad up my labia on both sides. I kept telling her my pee hole hurt! I had to get stitches on both sides and that wasn’t fun at all. At this point my contractions were still pretty painful and in my back because I was passing a lot of clots. She ordered some medicine that actually made me contract more and stronger so to pass those. My membrane bag pretty much shredded so I likely had to pass some of that. They stitched me up and told me to go to the restroom. And that just didn’t happen after numerous tries. So we went back to the bed. Tim was already sleeping ( we will just say this didn’t make me too happy.. I was expecting to be showered in praise about now and he was sleeping??!?!) Granted it was 6 am and we had been up all night but it was a crazy ride and I wasn’t going to be able to sleep for a long time and I wanted some company.. ;)
We laid there and Bradley was still in recovery mode and didn’t want to nurse again right away and I was laying there wishing for a little more than advil ;) But it was bearable. The light was starting to come in the window and it was all rather surreal.
Even a few days later I look over at him and feel the pains in my lady area and can’t beleive I did it. I am really proud of myself and and first I told the doula and the post partum assistants that I felt like a I wasn’t strong enough and that I wasn’t successful because I told them to take me to the hopsital to get drugs and they all said they had never seen a single woman not “give up”. Its all part of transition and since I went from 4cm to pushing in such a short amount of time it was going to be that intense. Its like something came over me. Tim said it was like I went to another place and my eyes were rolling back in my head and I was making some interesting noises. The midwife kept saying “ sound like a momma bear” so I was growling and just trying to get through each one one at a time. I told my mom and Tim this the other day but I think with my worrying and overthinking each little thing I likely HAD to be in that amount of pain to be able to let my body do what it must. Otherwise I would have been thinking” What if I rupture? What if I poop while pushing? What is everyone going to think about the way my butt looks right now? Etc. But as it is I just had to give over to my body and let it do what I was built to do. I do feel rather empowered now that I was able to do it. I am still hurting from the stiches and sore in general but I feel so confident in myself that I was able to do it the way we planned and that he was welcomed to the world with no medicine and in the water.... he may have heard me drop the F word a few times but we did it.
It is amazing how much faster I have bonded with Bradley than with Tyler. I think it took a little while for the hormones from the nursing to kick in and have me bond with him but obviously I did because I love him to bits. But, this was pretty much instant. I find myself being more affectionate towards him than I did at this time with Tyler. Tyler has been a great big brother so far and is all about giving “baby bradley” fist bumps and kisses.
I am also waiting on the birth story from the doula too.
great birth story. I had to laugh when you were telling your mw to stop lying, lol. TFS
"he may have heard me drop the F word a few times but we did it."
lol.. I love this statement. Thanks for sharing your story. You did it! Woohoo!
What a great story!
I need to update yall! First of all its been CRAZY around here.
We had to move. Out of state and only had a couple weeks notice!!
Bradley is doing great. Getting chunky! He was up like 1.5 pounds at his TWO week appt from his birth weight! Horray milk.
I also have some newborn pics to share soon. Anyhow, I am still alive. Its just coo-coo crazy around here.
wow can't wait to hear all about that!
Some from labor, some from when he was 1 week old!
The pictures are beautiful!