From one July 07 Mom to another, Welcome to Your LODGE!!!
From one July 07 Mom to another, Welcome to Your LODGE!!!
Yea! I'm so excited! Ok, off to work on my intro....be back in a bit.....
welcome to your lodge!!!
welcome to your lodge!
Ok, here goes my novel!
My name is Jennifer, I’m 27 (28 in 7 days!) and I am married to Brad. We met when we were in college in January 2000. We were both taking a Human Sexuality class at the local community college. DH missed the first day of class but when he showed up on the second day I whispered to my girlfriend that he was mine! *wink* *wink* Something about him was very appealing to me. He was dating a vixen at the time and spent the first few classes sucking face with her before coming into the room. I knew something was up one day when he walked into class on time and looking quite down. Well, as fate would have it, she had broken up with him. In March I decided to throw a party at my new apartment and invited a few people from our class, including Brad. Now, if he was telling the story, he would say that I never actually invited anyone else, but the truth as I know it is that I did invite 3 other people. Two of them were brother and sister and the sister lost my number, the other was one of my girlfriends and she said she lost the directions to my apt. Either way, Brad was the only one that showed up. I was incredibly nervous to say the least! I knew that he kind of had the hots for the sister that was suppose to show up and could tell that he was disappointed as the night drew on and she didn’t show up. Well, needless to say we ended up talking most of the night away, swimming in the pool, cooking steak outside on the grill and hanging out on my couch. He now says that he was really just interested in me as a friend and that he appreciated being able to talk to me about his relationships. Well, I certainly liked him more than a friend and was a bit disappointed, but, I decided friendship was better than nothing. The next night I went to his work to buy a telephone from him since my new apt didn’t have one. I waited until he was off shift and we drove around for 4 hrs just talking and eating McDonnalds. The next night he called when he was off work and asked if he could come over to hang out, he said he’d pick up some movies for us to watch. The movies were not the type you rent for “just friends” to watch. They weren’t porno’s or anything but they defiantly had a sexy undertone. Well, by the time both movies were over it was 2am and he didn’t want to drive over an hr to get to his home so I offered to just let him stay on the couch. I went into my bed, left the door open and just laid there wide awake! My whole body was on fire just knowing that he was in the next room. I hollered out to him to see if he was still awake, was he able to sleep? He answered me by standing at the door of my bedroom. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep on the couch.
We were pretty much inseparable from then on. For Easter that year he joined my family on a trip down to Mexico. I went with him to his house to pack up his travel bag and met his family. His mom was not very receptive to him being in another relationship and was quite cold to me to begin with. She kept referring to me as Jennifer #3, stating that he had dated so many women and quite a few Jennifer’s that she had to have a way to identify me. The last thing she said to me was “you are on birth control right? You’re not going to get pregnant are you?” Yea, she’s a real gem! Little did any of us know that I was already pregnant when she said this
While in Mexico I was a total B**ch to everyone and I wasn’t feeling all that well but thought it was just due to the food and drinks I’d been consuming. Once back in the states a few weeks later I was at work when it suddenly dawned on me that my period was late. I freaked out to say the least! My friend drove me to a local clinic where they did free blood pregnancy tests. As I stood in the waiting room for the results I told my friend that if it was positive I wasn’t going to tell anyone but her and I was going to break up with Brad and have an abortion. I was 19 and scared! The nurse called my name up to the window and slid the piece of paper under the slot with a big smile on her face and said “Congratulations!” I just started crying! I asked my friend to take me home and I called my mom. She came right over, thinking that Brad and I had broken up. On the 10 min drive to my apartment I felt like I suddenly had a lifetime to make a life changing decision. I knew there was no way I could have an abortion and that if I didn’t feel I could care for the baby that I would give it up for adoption but it was my responsibility to bring this child to the world that I had help give life to.
When my mom came over she sat down on the couch with me and asked what’s up. I started crying immediately and told her I was pregnant. She looked at me, pursed her lips, slapped her hands on her lap and stood up. She said, “ok, well, lets figure this out.” Over the next hour she never sat back down and managed to clean my entire apartment from head to toe while talking to me about all of my options. She was so great; she spoke to me about my options as if she was my friend, not a woman talking about her little girl or her grandchild. One thing she was very clear about was that I had to tell Brad, it was his child and he had a right to know. Once she said it, I knew she was right. So, I called him at work and asked him to come over when he was off. He said he knew something was up just by the sound of my voice and by the fact that I invited him to come over when it had been a given for so long now.
After my mom left I went to the book store and bought “What to Expect when you’re Expecting” (worse book EVER!). When Brad came over we sat down and I handed him the book. He smiled and said “Oh, ok, is this what we’re going to use to do our end of class project?” I started crying and said that we’d have a lot more than just a book report to present. He just kind of stared at me. In my head I saw him jumping over the back of the couch and running as fast as he could away from me. In reality, he reached out, hugged me, kissed my head and said “Ok, well, I know that I love you and I know I will love this child, so, lets do it!”
He moved in the next day and we’ve been together ever since!
We waited until 2002 to get married. We did not want anyone to think that we were getting married just because of the baby and we also wanted to make sure 100% that when we committed forever to each other we meant it. We weren’t naive we knew that raising a child at 19 and 20 was going to be hard and we knew that we had not known each other very long so we wanted to make darn sure that we wanted to be together for all the right, lasting reasons. Our wedding was beautiful!
My pregnancy with my DS was very difficult; I had m/s the entire 9 months and developed pre-eclampsia very early on. I did not take very good care of myself and I gained over 100lb’s, mostly water weight, but weight none the less. The Dr. that I had was very old school and was just about to retire. He never acknowledged my pre-eclampsia despite all my symptoms. I labored at home for the most of the day on December 13th, and then when my DH (DP at the time) came home, we went to the hospital. I was in labor but not enough to be admitted, however, because they could see my signs of pre-eclapmsia they did not want me to go home so I walked the halls for hours. Finally, I was far enough along to be admitted. I don’t remember much as I was pretty out of it with a headache from my BP but I know that I got an IV, epidural and pitocen very early on. I labored on my back for hours and hours. I was not progressing as they would have liked and my DS’s heart rate kept dropping so the decided to prep me for a c-section. I was devastated! The nurse said she’d check me one more time before going in. Well, fortunately, I was at 10 cent by that time and they agreed to let me try pushing. My epi was pretty much maxed out at that point as I had had it in for over 20hrs. I pushed for I think over an hr. I remember the Dr. telling me to stop screaming and just deal with it. I did finally give birth to my son vaginally. He was over 8lbs and had a knot in his cord, which was why his heart rate kept dropping.
I don’t remember any of this, but from what my family tells me, my BP shot up shortly after he was out and they had to rush everyone out of the room. I was put on MagSulf and moved to a dark room. I could only have one visitor and no lights, no stimulation what so ever as they were afraid I was going to have a seizure. After 24 hrs like that I finally started to recover and was able to hold my son. Breastfeeding him was a challenge from the get go as by now he was use to bottle and had latch issues. I didn’t seek help other than my mom and we ended up giving up after just a few weeks. Despite a rocky start, he is a happy healthy young man. He was the ring barer at our wedding and looked like a mini Chris Farley dancing with his tux shirt open, cummerbund under his baby belly and wispy blond hair all over his head.
Fast forward several years and after trying to conceive another child my DH and I decided that we were going to give in and just accept that our DS was to be an only child. We debated getting professional help to conceive but it truly isn’t in our nature to do something like that. Our life together had taught us that fate had a reason for things and we weren’t ones to mess with it. We decided to put our money, energy and time into raising our DS as a happy healthy only child. I did miscarry three times over the course of 7 years, one of which was after 12 weeks. We were devastated each time and after the 3rd time we’d decided to not tell anyone if I happened to get pregnant again. It was hard enough going through the loss together, let alone seeing the loss on the faces of our families.
In November of 2006, my period was late. I waited and waited and when it was over 2 weeks late I decided to test. Sure enough, it was positive. I didn’t tell my DH right away as I kept expecting to miscarry again. It was the pink elephant in our house for over 2 weeks. He knew that I had not had my period but neither of us wanted to say anything. Finally, in the beginning of December I made a Dr. apt and had the pregnancy confirmed. Everything looked healthy and there was no reason to believe that I would miscarry again. On my DS’s birthday, we were sitting at a local Peter Piper Pizza celebrating with our family, when I took off my jacket mid conversation and waited until someone noticed that my shirt said “Baby on board.” My step dad was the first to notice; he looked at my shirt, then gave me a dirty look and kept going on with the conversation. I found out later that he thought I had just grabbed some random shirt to wear and thought it was rude to wear something that implied something so important. A few min’s later my mom noticed the shirt and started screaming/crying!
My pregnancy with my DD was much easier. I had a great Dr., no signs of pre-e, took very good care of myself and educated myself on everything pregnancy related. I was so afraid that my Dr was going to miss something important like my previous Dr had with my DS. Fortunately, my Dr. was great and I had no complications other than pubic bone separation disorder. I was very open with her about how I felt about my DS birth. How I felt so out of control, as if it was something the hospital was doing to me, not something I was doing. I explained the complications I had from my epidural, years of back pain, and my reaction to the MagSulfate. She was very understanding and gave me great resources for natural child birth and supported me all the way.
DD’s birth story:
Born: Thursday, 7/12 7:00pm
As of my apt on Friday the 6th Hailey was still very high up, sitting with her head still in the left side of my pelvis and I was not dilated or even ripe. The Dr. ordered a growth scan to see her weight and if the tech could find any reason why Hailey was not engaging in the right spot in my uterus.
The growth scan was on Wednesday the 11th, everything went well, the tech estimated her weight around 7lb 12oz and said that she was now laying with her head against my cervix but still very high up. We figured labor was at least another week off.
I woke up at 2am after a rather strange Star Wars dream and had to go pee. Once I sat up in the bed I started to gush, and the more I walked the more came out. I confirmed once I got into the bathroom that it was in fact my water that had broken. It was clear amniotic fluid with bits of vernix in it (sorry if that's TMI). I woke Brad up, called the hospital who insisted I come right in, took a shower and grabbed some crackers and water. We took my son over to my mom's house then headed to the hospital. I started having very mild contractions once we were on our way.
When I go to the hospital and got out of the car my water again gushed, soaking through my pad, underwear and the sarong I was wearing. The admitting nurse made me stand there filling out paperwork all the while making a puddle under myself.
Once in the triage unit (to confirm I was in fact labor ) they hooked me up to the monitors and checked me. I was having contractions about 10-12 min's apart, the baby's heart rate was fine, I was only 1 cm dilated and Hailey had shed her meconium. The nurse said it was very thick and seemed a bit worried. She left to call the Dr. When she came back she had an IV. I told her that I was not to have an IV unless medically necessary and that my Dr. had approved clear liquids instead. She informed me that the meconium meant that something happened to the baby and I was now considered high risk and had to have the IV. I was a very disappointed. I knew the meconium meant a risk of pneumonia if she aspirated it after birth but I didn’t' realize it put me in a high risk category.
I got into a room around 8am, saw my Dr. who was wonderful and said that because the baby's heart strip was good and they could not see any additional stresses I could get up and walk (which isn't normally done for high risk, meconium, mom's) for 2 hours with 20 min's on the monitor in between and she let me have breakfast. She said that Hailey was still very high and we were probably in for a long day/night.
I had my breakfast, took a shower, and walked for my allotted 2 hours. I spent most of the time in the room walking and swaying as I liked the privacy of it vs. the halls. The contractions weren’t too bad at this point, I was breathing through them, counting my breaths to keep me focused, relaxed and on target. They were lasting about 20 breaths. Lying back in the bed for the 20 min's on the monitors was by far worse than standing up but I complied and did my 'time.' Once I stood up again the contractions started getting harder, towards the end of the second 2 hours, around 2pm, the contractions were lasting almost 50 breaths and coming every min. I was staying as calm as I could, moaning through them as needed. I was also feeling sick to my stomach at this point which I hoped meant transition. I asked the nurse to come check me. When she did, unfortunately, I was only at 3 cm. I felt so defeated. I had been at this for 13 hours, heavy contractions for over 2 hours, and I had barely made any progress. I weighed my options, wanting to have a natural, in control birth vs. my fear of the epidural and being under the control of the medical staff.
After another 30 min's of soul searching and talking with Brad I asked for the epidural. The Dr. was very kind, understood my fear and did her best to be as accommodating as possible. I used my Mp3 player to distract me during the procedure and ended up singing Salt-N-Peppers "Ain't too proud to beg" out loud because it was random song that came on during the worst part of the procedure. I’m sure the nurses got a kick out of that.
Unfortunately the epi only worked on my right side. My left side was only slightly numb, I could feel the same contractions I was earlier in the morning. I tried various positions to help the medication seep onto the left side and used the button to increase the dosage as I could.
An hour after receiving the epi, around 4pm, I was at 5 cm. The Dr. came in and checked me again 10 min's later since she was "in the neighborhood" and I went from 5 to 8 cm as she was checking me. She said though, that the baby was still very high and it would be a while before she was here.
At 5:30 I felt like maybe my water had gushed again but something was a bit different about it. I kicked everyone out of the room except Brad and asked him to move the covers and help me look. He confirmed that it was blood. We called the nurse, very scared. She calmed us down saying that it was just bloody show and that I was now at 9.5 cm. She was a bit worried because my Dr., believing that I had a while to go still, had opted into a C-section with another Dr. to help. The nurse again said that she thought we still had quite some time so she was just going to give the Dr. the update and ask her to come check me when she was done with the C-section. My gut was telling me that this was going to go fast so I asked my mom and Brad to start calling my family since most had over an hour drive to get to the hospital. This was around 6:15pm.
At 6:30 the nurse checked me again and said that I was at 10 with only a lip and she went to pull the Dr out of the section. She came in at 6:45, set the room up for delivery and asked if I was ready to push.
I pushed for 5 min's, gave birth to Hailey’s head then had to stop so they could suction her and she was born at exactly 7pm. They moved her over to the baby table still in my room, suctioned her again and then brought her right over to me. She did not aspirate any of the Mec. and is a very healthy little girl.
Even though I had the epi, I felt so empowered during this birth. Maybe it was the fact that I was much more educated this time, maybe it was because I chose the interventions vs. having them thrust on me but either way, I feel such pride toward my body, and my birth experience. I had no tears, was up and in a shower within 2 hours and was home 25 hr.s later. I have had more energy in this first two weeks than I have had in years. I have no need for recovery, I feel better physically than I can remember feeling for a long time.
Hailey is a wonderful baby, she sleeps great at nights for us, cries very little and is breast feeding wonderfully. I feel so complete blessed.
Together, Hailey and I were successful in breastfeeding and did so for her entire first year. My DH and I discussed having other children but decided that we would wait a few years before we decided for sure. We felt so blessed to have been able to have another child that we wanted to relish and enjoy it. We were using VCF’s as birth control as I didn’t want anything hormonal to interfere with breastfeeding. Plus, we figured it took us 7yrs to conceive Hailey, we would probably have an equally hard time conceiving again. In January I cut back on breastfeeding and introduced bottles for part of the day and nursed 2-3 times a day. This brought back my period. I had my period in January and February but come March, no period could be found! I was in complete shock when the test said positive!
Again, I waited to tell my DH just in case, but he already knew. On April 1st, we had dinner at my mom’s house and had Hailey dressed in a onsie that said “I’m going to be the BIG sister, December 08.” Needless to say, since it was so soon after Hailey was born, and it was April Fool’s day, no one believed us. I think they kept expecting me to say “April Fools!” even weeks later. Finally, they all decided I was telling the truth. To be honest, it took my DH and I a few months to be ok with this pregnancy. In many ways it was almost more of a shock to us than that of our DS 7 yrs prior. We had originally thought that we’d be able to give Hailey they type of one on one attention of an only child since DS was so much older. It wasn’t until we realized that one of the things we always wanted most for our DS was to have a sibling he could play with. Once we realized that we were providing that for Hailey, we became excited about the upcoming addition. Also, our DS’s excitement was over the top. He is so happy to be a Big Brother to two little sisters. He tells everyone he meets!
This pregnancy has gone by so fast! I guess that keeping up after Hailey has kept me busy! I have once again had a relatively complication free pregnancy. Even my pelvic pone separation is less this time. Starting about 2 weeks ago I have been having contractions off and on. They started out about 15 min’s a part for a week or so, and now are down to about every 5 min’s. Most of them are more BH like than anything but about every 5th one is a full on, need to breathe through, contraction. The best my Dr and I can figure I have a “p-o’d uterus” since I’m pg so close to having my dtr. I am able to sleep through them during the night although they do make for interesting dreams!
My hope for this delivery is to go completely natural. I have worked with a Bradley instructor and a Doula on the side; both are in training and just kind of teaching me as they learn. I have learned additional coping mechanisms and relaxation techniques. I truly think that my fear and unconscious tensing of certain muscles was what kept me from dilating last time. Looking back on my labor with Hailey, I can see when I was tensing up and not working with the contractions in the lower half of my body. I kept my upper body relaxed, my mind at ease and my jaw loose, but, I was tensing up my legs in a bracing effort. I truly think this was my big pit fall. My DH has been a great help in relaxation techniques and is truly a great coach. I do believe that we can do it!
Phew! Enough for now!
What a great intro! I love hearing how you met and that you are still together after the surprise pregnancy. That is wonderful! I look forward to reading your journey.
Great intro! It's wonderful that you guys have been through so much together and what an awesome blessing to have a suprise pregnancy after all you went through for #2! I can't wait to follow your next birth.
Wow! Great story! We are almost due date buddies - looking forward to following your story.