She is so beautiful Helina! I'm looking forward to hearing your birth story.
DS Jacob 12/12/06
DS Nathaniel 6/5/08
Helena, she is a doll already. I'm glad you're recovering and WTG on not tearing!!!
Ryan and Rachael
Parents to Chase, Abby, Hunter, Rachel, Caleb, Hannah & Nate
~Remembering sweet baby Oliver, born to Heaven October 20, 2009, & keeping Carole in our prayers~
You make pretty babies She's adorable. Enjoy your time with her. Sounds like Lidia is doing great with her.
Jade, momma to Ariana 5/23/06 and Trystan 9/28/10
Awww she's such a beautiful little angel! TFS Helina, can't wait for more!
Finally, a solitary moment. My ILs & SILs, who came back from VA for another visit this wknd, are on their way home. Both my girls are asleep. DH is napping--tonight is his first night back to work.
I'm having a really hard time processing Adeline's birth. My labor was fully induced from start to finish--my body never did get the hint. Every intervention dovetailed into another, as often happens. It was an easier birthing than with Lidia because it was a lot shorter (26hrs vs 4 days), but I ended up with even more interventions. I was better informed this time, but once the interventions start it becomes harder and harder to resist/refuse them, especially in the face of potential problems with the baby.
I'm trying to take the "all's well that ends well" approach, but you ladies understand more than most how hard it can be to come to terms with a birthing experience that leaves you feeling unsettled. I have a beautiful, robust, healthy baby girl. She's strong and alert and nursing like a champ. So far she is very mellow and sleeps better than her big sister did at a year. As for me, I couldn't have had an easier recovery. With no tears or stitches from which to recover, I was feeling fine a few hours after birth, and the very next day my nethers were hardly even swollen. I have abundant milk and it came in early. Except for engorgement the first day, I have no BF-related pain. I'm even starting to feel svelte even though my weight is still in the 200lb region.
So why do I start to cry when I think about writing my birth story? I still feel as though I've lost something, but how dare I complain?
I think we set certain expectations for ourselves and when things don't come even close to what those expectations were we feel somewhat cheated. You had so many emotions going on in the days leading up to the birth as well as shortly after (having company, the upcoming induction, dh's graduation, etc.). It's okay to feel emotional and a little sad. Maybe in a few more weeks you'll feel more ready (and maybe somewhat removed from the moment?) to write your birth story.
I'll be thinking of you. You have beautiful girls and enjoy every moment with them.
Molly & Elton 10/2/04
Mary 5/24/06, Celia 6/9/09
Baby #3 due 6/21/13
i agree with pp about it being hard to write your birth story, when it didn't go as you had planned. totally natural and normal! we always wish things were better than they actually were- for everything!
i'm glad your bottom is good, your milk came in and all is well with baby. just take your time with your birth story and let it come when you're ready!
A healthy baby and mommy are certainly important, but birth is such an intimate, important event in a woman's life and intrinsically tied to her identity, as well as the way she relates to her children. You have EVERY right to feel disappointed and upset over what happened, and gosh, so many of us have been there, done that. Don't feel guilty for what are COMPLETELY normal reactions.
Give yourself permission and time to grieve the loss of the birth you wanted - it doesn't make you ungrateful, or grumpy, or depressive... it is IMPORTANT to recognize your emotions for what they are and work through them. I repressed my upset over my birth FAR too long and it did more harm than good.
You're a strong, determined woman - and you birthed two amazing daughters through circumstances that would be trying for ANYONE. Give yourself a break and have a good hug, a long cry, and whatever else you need to just let it out and feel better.
As always, you have many hugs and much love and support from all of us on here. Don't EVER feel badly expressing ALL your feelings about birth, good and bad, whenever you need. The best therapy is often just an anonymous ear or two!
While I healed from my birth experience, I had some great advice. I was told to pick an "angels singing moment", and whenever I thought about the birth, to think of that instant first. So this is a second in time, no matter what else was going on, that everything was peaceful and wonderful. I chose the first time I held my sweet daughter (regardless of the fact that it was hours after the birth, she was in the NICU, I was in pain froma section, etc.). When I just pictured that instant, the whole thing became easier.
DD - Nov/06, DS - Sept/08, DS - Mar/11