I hope Joy doesn't mind me updating for her but there was so much good news today that I can't help myself!
Joy posted this on the Oct BB today:
She has also been posting updates on Facebook. Odin is doing really well! She posted this a few minutes ago:
All is clear and it looks like we can go home maybe sunday night or monday morning! He is like a different baby today as they have begun backing off all the meds. and other things and he has started eating. We are so thankful! Long term outlook is great.
I am glad things are improving!
Mommy to three gorgeous girls
at 6 weeks 22/10/09
Thanks for keeping things updated Erin!
We are going home in the next 2 days! I can hardley wait.
Everything is looking really good and we are fortunate that all his treatment has worked out. The future looks really good. Tonight they are rooming us in the hospital right down the hall from him since he started eating yesterday and I need to be here for nursing. We were at a hotel before this that took a while to get to and has really taken a toll on my health/recovery. Now I can have my feet up and just worry about shuffling down the hall for feeds/cuddles. I've never been so happy to kick my pump to the curb! And man I can't wait to sleep in my own bed at my own house in the near future.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
I bet! I'd be so physically and emotionally exhausted in your position, I am thrilled there is a happy ending to this and you all will be going home soon. Keep us updated as to how you are doing
So glad to hear that things are going well! What an adorable little man. Congrats!
DD - Nov/06, DS - Sept/08, DS - Mar/11
That is wonderful news. I am so happy for you!
Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.
Sorry, really really long!
Odin Emmett (Polish Last Name Here)
October 18th, 2010 2:15pm
Labor was 40(ish) hours
Thought I might be going into labor before the weekend started. Some random contractions here and there but more because I was so focused on getting everything in order. Drinks chilled in the fridge for MW and assistant, olive oil and cookie sheet upstairs in birth area, ect. That was Friday night Oct. 15, also went to go see a movie by myself that night. Had some reg. contractions throughout the movie but didn’t really pay attention to them.
40 week belly, during labor
Saturday I went to a baby consignment event and got a ton of great things for only $30. Again, really needed to get out of the house by myself and get a few last minute things. Was having contractions all day here and there. Some of the consistent ones were 10-15min apart but again I didn’t really think much of it. Met DH and DS on my way home to get some last minute things at Costco and Lowes and ate Hawaiian BBQ for lunch, yum! We didn’t get home until about 3pm but I was still able to get in a nice 2 hour nap. After naps felt like DH and I needed to do something special with Ryland so we took him to see a movie (something with owls). We never let him watch TV or anything so he was beyond thrilled. Contractions were about 10 min. apart during the movie but I was still thinking nothing of it. Too bad popcorn and apple juice was my dinner that night since I was still full from lunch…lol. We went to bed about 10pm and I just could not settle down, contractions kept coming. I let DH pass out and tried to use my hypnobabies tracks to fall asleep. After about 2 tracks I realized it wasn’t going to happen. Got up and swept the downstairs as well as scrubbed out the kitchen sink, thank you OCD! Still couldn’t sleep and I knew contractions were coming closer so I started timing them for real about midnight. They went were a lot closer than I gave them credit for at about 5 min. apart. That’s when I knew this might be for real. By 4am I woke up DH to let him know that this was probably going to be it. Normally he gets up for work at that time so he got a full night sleep, gosh I wish I had been able to also. By 4am contractions were 2-3min. apart so we waited 30min and then called the MW. I felt so bad calling early like that but this was like the first time I’d been in labor so I didn’t know how fast/slow things would go and 2-3min apart lasting 1min each seemed like more than adequate. I knew they would have a 1-1.5 hour drive to get here so I didn’t want to chance it. MW’s arrived by 6pm and there was no denying that I was in active labor. Should point out that my MW was still out of town so we had her back up whom I ended up loving even more! We have a lot in common and even homeschool(ed) our child(ren) using the same type of curriculum. The MW in training that I usually see was there as well, a familiar face.
I had made it clear that I didn’t want to be checked (didn’t want to be disappointed by lack of progress like DS1’s birth) so I don’t really have too many times and cm dilated to go on. I asked them to take notes in case I wanted to know later so that’s all I have to go on. I labored upstairs in our large walk-in bathroom and master bedroom. In the beginning I liked being on all 4’s using the birth ball for support. I was totally able to relax through things using all my hypnobabies techniques. Also moved around to sit on the birth ball with my head on the bathroom vanity, another nice position at times. I pretty much did most of the laboring Saturday morning/afternoon alone while relaxing into various positions. I will say that it was active labor the entire time MW’s were there and I had to vocalize through it using deep O tones. DH took care of Ryland downstairs while making sure all the ladies upstairs had everything needed and the MW’s monitored and hung out in the den right outside our master bedroom. Sometime around 4pm I decided that I wanted MW’s to check me but not tell me the progress. I was getting kind of tired at this point and I think that I just wanted the option of knowing that something was happening even though I didn’t really want numbers. They did their check and then told me that they were going to go out and explore town for an hour while I relaxed. That didn’t discourage me but it did signal to me that I had some time to go and that I need to pace myself. (Turns out I was a 5! Already 1-2cm more than I’d ever gone before!)I relaxed in the shower for a while and continued with my birth ball positions. When they got back MW gave me some homeopathic stuff that picked up strength of the contractions. I got in the bath for a while and that felt really nice. This continued on for hours. I worked that birth ball really hard I think because I have something similar to rug burn on my chin and left cheek, ouch!
Wally put Ryland to bed around 8pm and I was getting pretty burnt out. I asked to be checked again. Things had been so active in labor and intense during this whole time that I figured stuff must be happening. The MW was great at describing how things felt without telling me a #. (I was a 6 with bulging bag at this point) After phone conferencing with my reg. MW she made the suggestion that she could break my water if I wanted to see if things progressed more. LO was still really high and that bag of water was keeping him from putting too much pressure on my cervix. I was getting so tired at this point and it was nearing 24 hours of labor, and eternity since I slept last. We weighed our options for about 3 hours and decided to have her break the bag. Nice clear liquid, man it was a little painful though, and contractions went from intense to very very intense and longer. It was at this point that it was getting harder for me stay balanced through them and exhaustion was taking its toll. More hours went on and I wanted another check because I really could take it much more. I also told her to tell me the number and all. I was a 7 and the baby had engaged and was descending (can’t remember station) but more progress in those few hours than a good portion of the day. Encouraging so I struggled through a few more hours determined to do it. I hit a wall about some point and nothing worked, ball, bath, moving, lying, ect. We all had sat for an hour or so in some random position while taking turns putting massive pressure on my lower back, the only things that made the end of each contraction bearable. Everyone was exhausted. I finally had enough and at 3pm, after much thought and heartache, I made the choice to transfer to a VBAC friendly hospital 30min. away. I knew that I wanted to have a natural birth so bad, but there is a time a place for everything, and this was the time for some rest if I was going to get my VBAC and I knew an epidural would help with that.
We got to the hospital by 4am and it took 1.5 flipping hours to get that epidural. They had to run a blood panel that I didn’t have since I hadn’t seem an OB and required I have a bag of fluid before getting the epi. I was ok playing by the rules for that as long as I got that rest. The bag of fluid was evil and made the contractions 1000 xs stronger and longer while I waited for my blood panel. Seriously, I think they wanted to muzzle me because I was so darn loud and vocal, beyond the point of being able to manage my own pain. I felt out of control. Turns out baby had turned posterior at some point during labor so things kicked up a notch on the pain scale. Nurse also noticed some merconium in the fluid I had, something that had not been present when my water was broken. Once I got the epidural it was like night and day. I passed out a few minutes later and got about 4 hours sleep despite being poked around at by the nurses. Wally and our MW got some much needed sleep as well. The MW student was such a blessing and stayed at our house with Ryland so we didn’t have to wake him or find someone to care for him. During sleep baby descended and I went from a 7 to a loose 9. By 10am I was complete and got a coached lesson in pushing from the MW and nurse. That 1st hour was just a practice to see what would happen. The 3 hours following were in earnest. I got on hands and knees for 1 hour but my back hurt so bad that I could bear it. The last 2 hours I was in some odd side position that had me on 1 leg and 1 foot for better traction. The back labor was so painful and intense that this was the only was bearable position. At the very end I ended up on my back somehow even though all I could think about was getting on my hands and knees. I kept my eyes closed for most of the pushing as it helped me focus more. Wally and the MW’s were right there alongside me holding parts of me and helping find where to push. I had the epidural turned off during all the pushing but it took a while for things to be not so numb. My husband was the best because he supported my head and one leg and used all this strength to push right along with me. I don’t even know how to express how much that helped me feel powerful; I knew he would stand in my shoes if he could have at that moment and take all the pain and exhaustion away.
The last 30 min. were probably the most intense though my memory of them is foggy since I was so inside myself with eyes closed. The doctor did a scan and discovered baby was posterior. There was some internal maneuvering around even though baby was turning nicely on his own. I was given a numbing agent on my lady parts and heard talk of cutting though I’m pretty sure I growled out ‘let me rip’. Baby crowned for a long time. Contractions were very close but they were patterned one big one small and I pushed mainly on the big ones while resting on the small ones. I remember commenting, “this is the worst poop ever”…lol. Nice. Then, finally his head was out and soon panic hit the room. I remember opening my eyes for a second to see why everyone was so crazy and realized my room of 5 people had turned into a room of 30 some people so I closed my eyes again and retreated back in. After the head the rest of the body seems like it was stuck and wouldn’t deliver. The doctor must have thought that the cord was holding him back (looped around his shoulders but not tight) and tried to get it over his head with no luck. So he cut it. It took 4 more minutes for the Odin’s shoulders to come out and then the rest of his body. The doctor was pulling. Seemed like 4 nurses pushing and pounding on my stomach and pelvis, someone was even on the bed pushing on me. Two people on either side were ripping my legs apart in what felt like the splits. People were yelling at me to push, and I was pushing with everything I had, but there wasn’t a contraction and it was like pushing with no force. Once that contraction hit though he was out despite all the crazy stuff they were doing to me. For some reason they slid him on my chest for a split second, just long enough for me to feel his warmth. And then they took him away without a cry and without life in him. I remember that I kept talking to him even though I could barely see what was going on with the crowd of doctors and nurses around him. He had a heart beat but wasn’t breathing and had been delivered 4 minutes after his cord was cut. They had a bag they were using to get him to breathe and kept shoving tubes down his throat to suck out merconium that wasn’t there. He was just laying there and not moving. His apagars during the time in my room were 2, then 4, and finally 6 before they took him off to the NICU. I got to hear 2 tiny cries and touch his head as they took him away.
1-2 hours old
I didn’t even know they delivered my placenta and the doctor was very gentle stitching up my 2nd degree tear. Hurt worse when they pushed on and massaged my uterus. Gauze was missing from the clean up count so I had to have an x-ray right after to make sure it wasn’t left inside me. Ack, luckily all clear though they never did find that gauze pad. I thought that I would feel amazing and high after having my VBAC, but honestly I felt really numb after and couldn’t processes any emotion. I was so drained. I had 2 visits from the head of the NICU while still in my labor room and getting cleaned up. The first visit was to let me know about the concern over lack of oxygen for so long and worry of infection, his temp was currently 104. The second visit was to encourage me to let them transfer him to the Intensive Care Nursery at UCSF medical center over 2 hours away for immediate treatment. Wally had gone to get Ryland at this point so I signed the release on my own and filled him in over the phone.
The nurse wheeled me to my post-par. Room, which was going to be shared with another mommy just coming from her c/s. I wasn’t thrilled about sharing a room. The nurse had to use a catheter on me since my bladder was preventing my uterus from going down and seriously took out more pee than I think your body should ever hold. A few minutes later I had people come in to have me sign papers for Odin’s transfer by helicopter. I was then taken to the NICU to have Odin baptized before his flight and see him up close for the 1st time. Poor guy was hooked up to all sorts of stuff and all I could do was hold his little hand. UCSF team came very soon after (they had to get him hooked up to his treatment with the 1st 6 hours of life) had me sign more papers, put him in a travel incubator thing, and off they went. Wally and Ryland got there just as they were loading up so Ryland got to see the baby for 2 min. and Wally got to say good-bye. It was heartbreaking. We went back to my room to find that they had changed my room to a private room. The nurse had found me a pump and stocked my room with loads of juice, snacks, and extra pillows. Wally and Ryland went home later that night to sleep and I finally got some much needed rest. I was so thankful for that private room because the hormones hit finally and I lost it listening to other babies crying down the hall. I can’t imagine how it would have felt rooming in with another mommy and her baby. I just remember feeling that is was so unfair and that I was the only new mom there without a baby. I got discharged at 2pm the next day, even though they suggested I stay another day, and we drove the 2+ hours to be with Odin in SF that evening.
Last week I spent a lot of time 2nd guessing my choice for a VBAC. Would all this have been prevented if I had just had another c/s? Had wanting this so bad been totally selfish and actually ended up hurting the baby? This week I’ve come to terms a little better since things have calmed down. I am happy that I got my VBAC. My body knew what to do and did it. I gave birth to a 9lb baby on my own and proved all the doctors who told me I was too small for anything over 5-6lbs wrong! I’m still really scared of getting pregnant again though and beyond scared of birth itself (vag. Or c/s) at this point it time. We really wanted to plan for baby #2 and #3 close together but I may need a lot more time to heal before we go there. Wally is a mess too. Not only from all the emotional stuff we have just been through, and the fear of giving birth to another baby, but also the financial impact of this whole ordeal has his on edge. The cost alone of all the NICU stay’s, and life flight, will probably be more than our house is worth even after insurance picks up their end. And the $4500 home birth we payed for out of pocket won’t be reimbursed now. I think he has the weight of the world on his shoulders right now and I feel for him.
I'll make another post later about what we went through last week while Odin was in the Intensive care Nursery at UCSF.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
Wow, what a story. I can't imagine going through all of that.
DS1: 12.8.07: 7lbs 8oz, 20.5"
DS2: 8.12.09: 7lbs 9oz, 21"
DS3: 4.26.11: 6lbs 14oz, 19.5"
8.16.12 & 12.16.12
#4 due 10.18.13