So I’m Joy (31) and DH is Wally or Walter (34). We met in 1999 while attending Chico State in CA. Fall semester we had a water polo class together and both played on a club team. I didn’t even know who he was for weeks but he had an idea about who I was. I was dating a guy form the Rugby team at the time and also pledging a sorority and really just didn’t notice all that was going on around me. About 6 months into the semester we had a carwash for our sorority and Wally brought his friend’s truck to be washed, and then another friend’s car, and that was probably the 1st time I really noticed him. A friend of mine at the time couldn’t believe I didn’t know who he was since we’d all been in the same class for weeks and laughed when I asked her who the cute guy was. A few more weeks followed without me giving him too much thought other than him saying ‘hi’ when we passed on campus and me admiring how cute he was at those moments. As all things go when your barely 20 my BF and I at the time broke up just days before my sorority formal and as a pledge I had to bring a date to this event that I had already paid for and all. So of course I had a friend go scout out if the cute guy from water polo class was single or not before I asked him to my formal last minute. My friend reported back that he was single but that he was very liked by all the ladies and they had all told me to “take a number”. LOL. Of course that didn’t stop me for some reason, I really just needed a date to the dance. The next day I decorated his apartment door with balloons and a big sign asking him to the formal. He called back later and said yes and we’ve been together ever since. I remember coming home from that dance that night and telling my roommates at the time that I was going to marry this guy. They of course all laughed and thought I was crazy but somehow I knew. It really was fate that brought us to the same place at the same time as I had only gone to that college for a year after struggling to earn money to go since my parents thought that college was a waste of time and refused to fund it. Even after getting a partial scholarship to USD the right out of high school. And he had been going to USD for a while but had transferred to Chico that semester to help out his brother whom struggles with a neurological disorder that progressively gets worse as he gets older.
Younger us. During our 1st year of dating at some Greek event. Not the best pic but I lack digital pics from that time in our lives...lol
Anyway we dated all those years. Even a year apart, with me finishing up in Chico and him going back to San Diego to start his career in business. Once I graduated I packed up and moved in with his family in Coronado until I started work (web design) and got a place of my own. Things of course change fast and 6 months later I went back to school to get my teaching credential and he found more stable work becoming a commercial electrician, so not where we saw ourselves going. In 2003 we got engaged. He proposed during a gondola ride around a part of Coronado called the Cays. With champagne, chocolate dipped strawberries, gondola guy singing, and followed by an awesome dinner at Lowes resort in Coronado. Even after nearly 5 years together was cute to see him so nervous and the proposal was perfect. We got married a year later on June 5, 2004 in Coronado. Big Catholic wedding with a full mass and we had our reception beach front at a cabana right next to the Hotel Del Coronado. It was beautiful. It is funny now to look back at the past 11 years and see how much we have both changed but how well we have grown together. I’ll have to talk more about having babies next time!
Pic of our wedding in the church
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
I love the story of how you met and how he proposed. I too was rather amused when DH proposed cause it was cute to see him all flustered
Sounds like a big beautiful wedding!!! Can't wait to hear more.
So after we got married we both agreed that we wanted to wait 2 years before TTC. We wanted to travel some, buy a house, and get more secure in our jobs. I switched school districts a few months after our wedding and had a lapse in my health insurance. So for about 2 weeks we were without BC but decided we knew how to be careful and I figured that would be easy since I normally had really long cycles without the pill. We were so careful but so wrong. I got a BFP about 4 months after our wedding. Both of us really wanted to have kids but like I said we wanted to wait 2 years. I was so nervous but happy. When I told DH he cried and was so upset and stressed about it for a while. It was such a horrible reaction for him to have at the time and I felt like he blamed me for changing our future so much. I think it just really hit him that not only did he have to be a grown man for real but was going to be responsible for a wife and a child, it was a lot for him to take in all at once. After all the initial shock and stress wore off for both of us we got to enjoy the pregnancy. Everything went pretty smooth, just the normal stuff like morning sickness and all. I knew that I wanted to have a natural birth and choose to see a Nurse Midwife that my hospital/provider had on staff. I figured that was all I had to do. Heck I had read “The Red Tent” a few years back and I just planned on squatting and having the baby like they described, no problem. I didn’t ever really read up on childbirth and only attended the biased class that the hospital provided. I think I even skipped the c/s and medication info day because I wasn’t going to use them so why should I know about them. If I could go back in time I would defiantly kick myself! I think I read every book about what to do after baby came but nothing about actually having a baby.
At 38 weeks my MW stripped my membranes and I remember thinking that it was time to get baby out and that 40 weeks was like my deadline and I better get done before I got to that point. So like the MW said starting around 37 weeks we DTD every day, I walked like 1000 miles, took tons of EPO, had a reflexology session, and the day after she stripped me took 2 doses of castor oil. What was my hurry??? 38 week 4 days I had SROM as I went to lie down on the carpet after walking another 1000 miles. I remember hearing the ‘pop’ and then running to the bathroom because heck if I was going to ruin the carpet in our rental apartment…lol. Poor Dh had just gotten home from work and was taking a nap so I took an hour to clean up and get the massive leaking water under control before I woke him and we left. I had never had a BH during the entire pregnancy and still wasn’t having any contractions but the MW had mentioned going to L&D ASAP if this happened. And since I hadn’t educated myself too much I thought that maybe baby would be coming really fast. I mean didn’t your water break right before baby came out? This is where the downhill spiral began, but off we went.
I got checked in and was only like a 1-2 with no contractions. Even though I wasn’t in labor they said I couldn’t go home or leave since my waters had broken. They sent us to walk the halls for 30min to see if that started anything and them come back to be monitored. Our MW checked in with us at this time and announced that she was off shift but would be back in 3 days to see how we did if we were still there. WTF??? I thought she was going to be there the whole time. She said there was some great OB’s and nurses on staff and that I would be in good hands. I was floored. Had not seen that coming and had totally been under the wrong impression when I had chosen to use a MW through our provider. Anyway, once back and all hooked up (wait no one said I had to have an IV put in? I hate needles. Why do I need this?) I still wasn’t contracting so they told me I needed Pitocine. They told me that would start the contractions and then we could go from there. Ok. I thought I would be able to get out of bed, walk around, change positions, go to the bathroom, but apparently I was really wrong. They gave me more and more pit as time went on, them some pain stuff, and eventually an epi when I was at the max amount of pit that they could give me. It was torture and 24 hours after we had arrived I had only gotten to a 3-4 with baby not even engaged. I was so miserable, tired since I hadn’t slept in almost 2 days, and starving since the last meal I had eaten had been breakfast the previous day. We had seen so many doctors and nurses that I couldn’t keep who everyone was straight. Wally was miserable because he doesn’t feel comfortable in the hospital and couldn’t do anything to help me. I was never able to relax with all these people coming and going my anxiety level was through the roof. Another doctor came in at the end and asked us to sign some papers for our c/s. C/S?? No one had even said that was what was going to happen next. She assumed someone had mentioned it and threw in that after 24 hours there would be infection and my baby would be really sick. I begged for an hour while in tears and luckily she left us alone. I prayed my body would do something magical or that DH would pick me up and get me out of there. Instead I sat there for an hour sobbing while DH with no fight left in him told me it would all be ok. An hour later the ‘team’ came in and got me all prepared and wheeled off to surgery. I was so pissed. Our DS Ryland Connor was born 20 min. later (26 hours after my water broke at home) on Aug. 5, 2005. He was 8lbs 14oz and healthy. I never got to see or touch him after he was out. I don’t even remember hearing him. DH has pics of him and one of him being help up next to me but they had all but knocked me out at that point. I woke in recovery a while later and was told both DH and DS were in the nursery. I met DH in my recovery room later that afternoon and didn’t get to see my son until 8 hours after the birth. We were told that he had to be in the nursery for this and that, then shift change for the nurses, ect. DH even went to the nursery to get him but they wouldn’t let the DS out. I remember asking DH to make sure we had the right baby once we got him since I hadn’t yet met him. We had to share a room with another woman whose baby never cried while our son screamed all the time. I got really sick the 1st night (nurse gave me oral meds that made me vomit which is very painful) and had trouble with some side effects of the morphine so they took DS away again since I could care for him. We had loads of trouble nursing and the staff didn’t seem to help or care, they kept pushing formula. The lactation consultant we requested never came to visit during our 4 day stay. The whole hospital experience was a nightmare.
Wally & Ryland on his day of birth. And Ryland 6 weeks old.
After being home for a few days we finally got to see a LC from the hospital that said our son was very tongue tied and therefore not able to nurse well. She said that the procedure to clip under his tongue should have been done in the hospital before we were released and that the pediatrician should have had us referred. It took us some visits the ped, a referral, and a 6 week wait until we got to see the head-nose-throat doc that eventually clipped under his tongue. The difference was night and day. My milk supply was never the same after the whole ordeal but we managed to BF for a good 6 months. My awesome cousin with a DS 2 months older than Ryland had an abundance of BM that she was banking and sent us her extra BM from Florida to use as a supplement instead of formula. I will forever be grateful to her for that. From this we learned that it is a hereditary condition and that DH had his tongue clipped around age 4 to help with speech. Something we will be on the lookout for this time around.
After DS’s birth I lost my teaching due to budget cuts and was out of work for 2 years. As much as we wanted to TTC again it wasn’t the right time money wise. DH really wanted to save for a home and the idea of adding on to our family was overwhelming to him. After DS turned 2 we moved from San Diego to Northern CA where I got a teaching job within a few days. We saved up and in Oct. 2009 bought our 1st house. It has been really hard waiting 4+ years to have baby #2 but the wait has been so worth it. I’ve learned a lot more about childbirth and what I want for myself since having DS1. This pregnancy was planned and welcomed with open arms (no sad tears, only tears of joy) from the beginning. After feeling so misinformed and mistreated during our last birth experience Dh and I are both excited to be having a homebirth and being more in control and more relaxed. I have total trust in my MW this time and have a great connection with her. I just know this will be a great experience.
My pregnancy has been so different than with DS1. I’ve had much worse m/s and my heartburn if raging. Also more tired and have loads of aches, pains, BH’s, and the such. I don’t know if it’s just baby #2 or me getting older. Still I’m enjoying it. Also this pregnancy has flown by. I finished teaching in June and opened a preschool in my house this August. I’m licensed for up to 14 kids and currently have 7 enrolled. Also I started homeschooling DS in July instead of sending him to Kindergarten which is what I used to teach. It’s been a really busy spring/summer and now fall but I’m happy to be doing 2 things I’ve wanted to do for a long time.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
I'm so sorry about how the c-section happened and no one really kept you in the loop. He was such a cute baby!
I'm amazed you were able to breastfeed with a baby who was tongue tied for 6 weeks. Good for you, momma!
Sorry if I missed this somewhere but do you know baby's gender?
Jenn--Yep, we are having another little boy!
So tired this morning. Woke up at 2am so sick to my stomach. After dealing with that I had a good 2 hour session of pressure waves. I couldn't lay in bed through them so I was pacing the house and sitting places. At 4am, when DH got up for work, I was finally able to lay down through them and feel asleep at 5am. Darn alarm goes off at 6am so I'm up for the day and exhausted. Should have gone to bed earlier! At least my body is doing something this time so I'll take it. I'd still like to wait till after Saturday before these things really do anything though.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)