Whaahhhh, I have a lodge already??? EEP! I have been busy working my way through the new threads, and then I had to do a double-take there!!! Thanks so much guys, I will get busy on my intro! I have been planning it for a couple weeks now, just have to write everything out....
mommy to the most beautiful princess
Welcome to your lodge! I can't wait to read your intro!
Okay, where to begin.... Our story is a bit different from what you normally see, so it might take a little more explaining. I will try to keep this as simple as possible, but everyone from my BB knows that I can be pretty wordy LOL....
My name is Melissa, I am 23 years old and married to James (26). We met in February 2007 on MySpace actually.... I was just wasting time with a friend of mine and came across his profile and thought he was so hot LOL! I sent him an add request, and never expected to hear back but he messaged me the next day.... After a couple days of chatting online non-stop and some REALLY long phone calls, we met up in person and that was pretty much it for us!!! We had a really whirlwind romance at the beginning - this is gonna sound crazy, but I had moved in with him within a couple weeks, and we were engaged by June. I never used to believe in this sort of thing - I mean, NEVER - but the minute I laid eyes on him, I just knew this was the man I was going to marry. Knew it absolutely without a doubt in my mind!
We were never actively trying to get pregnant, but pretty much not protecting from day one.... I was actually on the TTC: Just Let It Happen board for a few months under the username JME_Forever - I remember Nicole and Kara from over there, not sure if they remember me??? Anyway, throughout the summer and fall of 2007, things started going bad between me and James, so I went on birth control in . . . September, I believe. Before we met, he served in the Marine Corps for four years and was stationed in Iraq for nearly a year. While he was over there, he had an IED go off in his face - he is VERY blessed to be alive at all! He was honorably discharged with a Purple Heart, but he does have some lasting effects from it all. His face looks fine - you wouldn't know anything had happened if he didn't tell you - but he has problems seeing and hearing on his right side. Another effect that he still struggles with is a pretty bad case of PTSD.... The PTSD affects his ability to handle stressful situations - aka, he doesn't handle them well AT ALL.... An impending wedding along with going to school full time and working a full time job were really starting to wear on him and affecting our relationship.
Just to make things more interesting, I had my own issues I was dealing with - before James, I have been married once before to someone who was incredibly emotionally abusive. I had been in counseling from time to time, but I still had pretty bad coping skills as far as conflict goes. Basically, when I would get in a fight with someone (especially James), I would just shut down and retreat into myself - couldn't talk things through, couldn't work out a solution.... So me and James ended up in this ugly cycle where he was stressed out and starting to have almost panic attacks, and when we would end up fighting, I would just hide in the bedroom and cry and nothing EVER got resolved.... I still loved him more than anything in the world, but we were both miserable and from where I was sitting, it didn't look like things were going to get better - we just didn't know how to handle each other!
In February, I was on my last pack of birth control and wasn't able to get to the doctor in time to get it refilled. So I figured I would just go without in February, and then start up again after I had one period. Except - you guessed it - my period never came.... I was about two weeks late when I finally broke down and took a test, and YUP, it was positive. The real kicker though? I had broken up with James and moved out three days previously. Awesome.
So from there, things just headed on from bad to worse.... I stayed in a friend's spare bedroom for a little over a month, and then ended up moving from spare room to spare room until May when I finally got a place of my own. I can honestly say those few months were some of the hardest I've been through. All I had to lean on was a couple IRL friends and my BB.... My parents kept trying to convince me to give the baby up for adoption - they wouldn't even discuss the pregnancy otherwise. I had awful morning sickness and no one around to help me deal with it. Things were really bad between me and James - we were still speaking, but there were a LOT of really ugly things that were said and done out of hurt and anger.... James was absolutely furious about me leaving, I was furious about the things that led up to me leaving.... Don't really want to get into all that, but suffice it to say that things were bad all around.
Finally around the middle of May, I had a doctor's appointment that James begged to come to. I had all but forbidden him from coming to them because of his behavior, but my mom convinced me to give him one last try. He didn't say much during the actual appointment, but when we were walking out to our cars, this 6'2", 250lb, Mr. Macho Marine actually got on his knees and cried.... He told me how miserable he was without me and begged me to try to work things out.... He had gotten on medication to help control his PTSD and was seeing a counselor to deal with his stress and anger problems. I was still too hurt myself to really listen to what he was saying, but we actually began speaking again somewhat civilly..... They say there is a very thin line between love and hate, and we were still teetering back and forth over that line, but there were some long nights spent talking through things. We both began to really see how miserable and hurting we were - we had never quit loving each other, but things just ended up getting completely out of hand.
After several weeks of this, we both accepted that we still very much wanted to be together, especially with our baby on the way.... So (in a total surprise to everyone, haha) we were married on June 19th in a small civil ceremony at the JP's office. It may not make sense, but I am honestly glad that we spent some time apart. If I had found out that I was pregnant before I left, then we would have been one of those couples that stayed together for the sake of the baby, but were always really miserable together.... In being apart, I finally learned to grow up and stand on my own two feet, to stand up for myself and not just be a wilting wallflower. James learned that he doesn't have to be Mr. Macho all the time, and he finally started getting the help that he needed but would never accept before. There are things that happened that I wish had not happened, but all in all, I think we are both stronger as individuals and our relationship is a million times better than it EVER was.
I really believe that God gave us this baby for a reason - I am not sure we would ever have worked things out without this one last thread holding us together. James is the absolute love of my life, and I still believe just like I did on the first day that we were meant to be together. It's totally corny, but it's true. I can't imagine going through these next months and years without him! We just had to be typical humans and make everything as difficult as possible first, LOL!
So the past 4 months of my pregnancy have been pretty great - once we got all that mess out of the way, haha!!! My morning sickness was so bad that I was constantly losing weight at the beginning - I didn't gain a single pound until my 5th month, and then of course I started packing it on LOL! I am about 45lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight - ACK - but everyone swears that it will come off with breast-feeding! Other than the morning sickness, things have been pretty uneventful. I have not had any sort of major complications, and just the usual aches and pains.... I try to remind myself of that when my back is aching and I can hardly stand up out of my chair LOL - there are plenty of women who have had it a lot worse than me!!!
I am definitely ready for this little girl to go ahead and make appearance, but I am certainly not miserable yet. So if she decides to stick it out till her due date, then I guess that is what will be! I might change my mind here in another week or two haha, but I just try to remember that there is a definite end in sight - my doctor won't let me go past 42 weeks (December 2nd), so by December 3rd, I will have my baby one way or another!!!
I have rambled on wayyyyy too long now, and I doubt anyone has made it this far LOL! But I will save my thoughts on natural birth for another day, just to give myself (and everyone else!) a breather.
Last edited by newbeginnings; 10-20-2008 at 09:13 PM.
mommy to the most beautiful princess
Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure!!!
Our first date - sorry it's kinda blurry, I just love this pic cause we both look crazy happy
This is from Six Flags last summer.
More from last summer!
Christmas last year - so exciting that our Christmas pics for this year will include our little girl!!!
Me and "my" horse - a friend was teaching me to barrel race right before I got pregnant
The last pic I have of us "before"
Our wedding - this is my absolutely favorite pic of us!
I was about 4 months preg at this point, I think....
You can sorta see my tattoo here - a blue rose that says "Semper Fidelis"
At the "reception" - aka pool hall hahaha - yes, we are rednecks....
My "bump" at 5 weeks
My most recent pic of the bump at 35 weeks - eep!
And last but not least, our furbabies! Jose is my spoiled little Chihuahua on the left, and Mary is James' spoiled Pit Bull on the right. Jose is a little ham haha, he always poses for pics, but Mary hates them so she is trying to hide from the camera....
Last edited by newbeginnings; 10-21-2008 at 06:39 PM.
mommy to the most beautiful princess
What a wonderful story! I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for you guys but you made it through some of the worst and are stronger for it now. I cannot wait to hear more!