How nice to follow your journey here too!
Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat
Oh I am so excited to have a lodge!! It is late so I will have to do a proper intro tomorrow. Thanks for the warm welcome!
Mommy to three gorgeous girls
at 6 weeks 22/10/09
This is my third lodge! I can not believe it. I got so excited last night when I saw my lodge and I was telling dh and thankfully he remembers what a lodge is so he shared in some of my thrill.
I replaced my computer earlier this year and haven’t moved all my documents over yet...I really should do that. So I will be brief with my birth stories since I don’t have the luxury of copying and pasting.
Dh and I met almost 7 years ago at a house party. I didn’t have much interest in him, he was older and not my type at all but I was out for a good time and he was funny and interesting, so we ended up hanging out all night, and haven’t been separated since. He proposed to me on my birthday while we were travelling Guatemala. He was worried about things getting stolen and proposed with a picture of the ring.
We married a year later, February 25th, 2006. I can not believe that it will be 5 years and we will have 3 kids! It has been an eventful 5 years but completely wonderful. Mike is a great husband and so supportive. Mike is 7.5 yrs older than me and when we discussed children his only request was that we be done before he was 40. So that is one reason we will have had 3 kids in 5 years.
Right after our wedding we started trying and we were pregnant after 3 tries. My sister was born at home and her birth is my first memory. I had the first bath with her. I didn’t automatically jump into homebirth because my mom had done it but chose midwives because of it. I did all my research and birthing at home made sense on so many levels.
Mommy to three gorgeous girls
at 6 weeks 22/10/09
My pregnancy with Ally was wonderful, I loved every moment of it. I unfortunately gained lots of weight and I was naive about it. I enjoyed eating for two and thought that after the baby came, I would have lots of time for exercise and that breastfeeding would take the weight off. With Ally I was sure she was going to be a boy, late and like 9lbs. I was very wrong she was a girl weighing 6lbs 14oz and labour started at 39 weeks. On Monday night I had some regular bh, so I decided to see if eating spicy food would start labour on Tuesday. It did but I do not recommend it! Ugh...I had diahrea almost right away and that progressed into regular contractions.
My labour didn’t progress very fast but there was a chance of a snowstorm that night so I called my parents who lived about 45 minutes away and gave them the heads up. They arrived that night and I tried to sleep but I was too excited. I remember watching old movies through the night. The rest of my support team arrived the next morning and my mw came and checked me around 11am and I was 1-2cm....booo! She was worried about the amount of people I had at my house and recommended that I take some time to myself and also to lay on my side because Ally was in a bad position. I laboured for quite some time that way with dh and my mom would come relieve him. He was quite tired and slept a lot, I bugged him for a long time after that.
My mw came later that night and checked me again and I was 4-5cm. She suggested getting in the bath and talking to babe and asking and encouraging her to come. At about 10pm I think my mw came back and stayed, she had me walking the stairs to help Ally come down. At around 12 am she broke my water and there was meconium in it. She said that if things didn’t progress well in the next hour that we would have to go to the hospital. So back to the stairs and somewhere around this time I was feeling pushy but I was not dilated enough so they kept telling me to not push. Ally was putting pressure on my rectum but still not in a great position.
My hour went by and we went to the hospital. It was a 20 minute drive but it was the worst part of my labour. I decided to get an epidural because I wanted to push but wasn’t supposed to and my mw agreed that it might be easier. We got to the hospital and they started hooking me up to everything, they started to add fluid because I didn’t seem to have enough amniotic fluid, Ally started to show signs of distress, they had me on all fours with tubes and what not sticking out of me....so not flattering. They would ask me to change positions because I think they thought there was pressure on the cord. After the third heard deceleration, they said it was time for a c-section. They whipped me into the OR and I was very glad for the epidural. I remember crying and the anaesthesiologist kept asking me if I was feeling the pain (lots of pinching and tugging) but if he took the pain away I wouldn’t remember anything.
We were very glad that we had mw’s because my mw made sure Mike was in the room, I believe they would have forgotten about him and also when Ally was coming out she made sure Mike got to find out her sex. Mike remembers looking over the curtain and seeing the doctors wrench Ally out and then un-loop the cord 4 times. I was also glad I had mw’s because I got to go home pretty much the next day, I hated the hospital it was noisy and my roommate snored!
Breastfeeding was really foreign to me and kind of scared me. My mw’s advice was to put her on fast and deep but she was so tiny and fragile. Ally and I had a really hard time nursing, she wasn’t gaining weight and at 2 weeks I was told to supplement her. I cried and I cried hard driving back from my mw’s. I was okay with a c-section I knew that it was the way Ally needed to come out. But not having a good enough supply for absolutely heartbreaking. I went on domperidone, I took herbs and for about 6 months trying to breastfeed exclusively became my passion and maybe at times verging on obsession.
I remember at 9 weeks when she latched well and I could hear her sucking, that was a turning point for us. It came after a horrible appointment with a breastfeeding doctor and my mw’s, they were concerned about my ‘mood’. I didn’t think I had any depression issues and it hurt tremendously that my mw’s didn’t know me enough to see that I just wanted to breastfeed and it broke my heart that I couldn’t. I do understand where they were coming from and it is a good thing to be aware of. I just felt like the suspicion of postpartum was me failing again and my body failing me. That night as I cried to Mike and my parents and they reassured me that I was okay, Ally latched and hearing her suck was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. My supply never really got any better and I did have to supplement. But that was the start of our comfort nursing and our relationship. Nursing was very important to her too. I nursed her until she was 2.5 yrs old.
Since Mike and I wanted kids right away we decided to start trying at around a year. I had a positive test 2 days before Ally’s 1st birthday, we were so excited. I threw myself into researching an hbac and how to increase supply during pregnancy. Again, I was fairly obsessive. I read everything and took as many herbs as I could. My pregnancy again was very easy and I got to share it with a friend who I had met in my prenatal class the first time around. I thought that since Ally had come early that so would Zoe, so I had everything prepared somewhere between 34-36 weeks. And then I waited and waited. I started trying to induce labour by eating lots of pineapple and black licorice. Zoe came on her due date. I recognized labour at about 6am, and I waited until about 9am to call in my team. It was a beautiful warm December morning. We were outside in sweaters. I walked around the block with my sister-in-law who was a very important part of my team because she had had a VBAC earlier that year. Everyone else walked to DQ and brought me back a yummy blizzard. Ally was around for most of the day and then around dinner time my dad took her back to his house. My mw came around 5pm and checked me and I was 4-5cm. I was very upset, not necessarily by the dilation but my labour was beginning to mirror Ally’s labour. The timing of the check and the dilation, I started to lose my confidences in my ability to birth let alone have an hbac. Just as I was laying on my bed, starting to cry and freak out, I had a contraction and my water broke. At this point I knew I was having a baby and she was going to be born at home. I think I bounced on my exercise ball for a bit and things got intense. My mw wanted my labour to established before getting into the pool, so I went and had a shower. It was wonderful. Then everyone started scrambling around and filling the pool. We had forgotten to turn our hot water tank up so my mom, sister and sister-in-law were boiling water on the stove. I got into the pool and it was heaven. I love baths and the immediate warmth and comfort was wonderful. I had a lip of cervix so I was kind of reclined and on my side. I began pushing at some point, and I remember getting annoyed with having the Doppler put on me after each contraction. My mom told me later that she liked hearing Zoe’s heartbeat. It was also discovered that Zoe had the cord wrapped around her neck too. My mw was fairly new and I remember her asking in weird way if the other mw new some kind of somersault manoeuvre. You would think I would be freaking out about the cord, but I knew that Zoe was coming out and I was in a zone. I enjoyed the whole process and loved making noises. I was so exhilarated when she came out and I held her for the first time. She was beautiful! Mike kept asking me if she was a boy or girl, he was quite impatient and I just didn’t care. I then had to get out of the tub and Mike got to hold Zoe still attached to me as we walked to my bedroom. Mike was reminding me the other day that my mw’s were quite concerned about the bleeding and he thinks we were close at that point to transferring. I barely tore and Zoe slept the whole night. It was great. Everything about her birth was perfect.
Last fall, I suspected that Mike and I may have gotten my first postpartum egg. We weren’t trying but I had a suspicion my period was coming back. I tested and tested and all were negative and I had a period. Then when I was away in October, I miscarried. I didn’t know it at the time, I thought my body was just being a bit wonky but I had just finished my period a week earlier. I had crazy cramps and when I got back about 4 days later, still with bad cramps, I was talking to my friend and she said it sounds like a miscarriage. I called the 24 hrs health line and they confirmed that it sounded like a miscarriage and to go to my doctor the next day. I did, and she sent me for an ultrasound. It turned out that I had an ectopic miscarriage but it was weird because they didn’t completely confirm that I was miscarrying or if there was still a viable pregnancy and that was very hard. I was then sent to the hospital again and waited forever, and the doctor offered me some drugs to end the pregnancy. At this point there still seemed a glimmer of hope that it was a viable pregnancy, I then had to go and get my blood taken every two days to see what was happening. It was indeed a miscarriage. But there was a hematoma left in my tubes and my doctor continued to monitor me. I found the lack of information to be extremely frustrating and increased my anxiety. The miscarriage was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with and I felt completely alone. Dh didn’t get the magnitude of it for me and how much emotional and physical recovery that I needed. To him, we didn’t know we were pregnant and then we weren’t. I actually went and saw a therapist once but it was extremely helpful. She said that it seems like I have issues with my body and it failing me. Recognizing that was important for me especially with my breastfeeding issues.
About two weeks after my counselling appointment, I noticed that I might be ovulating and dh and I just decided to go for it and bam....pregnant! I was shocked. I had a follow-up ultrasound from my miscarriage and unfortunately they didn’t see any signs of pregnancy, so i was freaking out again. I went for another ultrasound about two weeks later and thankfully there was a baby and heartbeat!
After the initial stress I have tried hard to not stress or get too obsessive about anything this time around and it has been an enjoyable pregnancy so far. I was quite sick in the beginning but that was gone by 16 weeks. I have kept my weight down fairly well and tried to be active.
Because I drove myself crazy waiting for Zoe to come, i am trying to keep the mind frame that this baby will be late and 9lbs. I really didn’t want to pack any bags or make plans until 38 weeks. But this past weekend i had two friends dream that I had the baby early and then dh and I booked our hotel. So panic set in and I made my plans and a packing list earlier this week. I am holding off until next week to actually pack bags but my birth team know their jobs. My plan is more centered on what needs to happen for the girls. Last year we moved out of the city and mw’s became covered by the government so I can’t have a homebirth. I will be birthing at a birth center and then I need to stay in the city for about 3 days.
I am feeling really good and I have been seeing my chiropractor regularly to help with my hip pains. Baby seems to be heads down and quite active. A few weeks ago it was transverse and breech. I did well not worrying and that seems to have helped.
I hope you got through my novel
Today was a wonderful day! Dh was gone all day and evening but we didn't miss him. Well, we did of course but it was a fun and relaxed day and I wasn't frustrated and stressed. We went to the park and then swimming. We ordered chinese for dinner and then the girls helped me clean up the kitchen. Zoe went down with no problems and then Ally and I did a craft and so far (crossing fingers) she is down well too!
I had a moment of inspiration tonight and I am so excited. Ally loves crafts and to help reward her for good sleep (we had a really rough go for a good month or two and we are just coming out of it) she has been decorating links for a paper chain. Each day she gets a chance at 4 links and when her door is all decorated we are going shopping for a special doll. Well tonight I thought it would be so nice to do something special for the baby. Things are pretty tight right now so I didn't want to go and spend a bunch of money on a craft but I thought about making a blanket or something for the baby. I realized that I have a bunch of white (or used to be) homemade recieving blankets. I thought it would be fun to paint, tye dye and color on them for the baby and maybe each kid will do a a onesie too! Now I can't wait to hit the store tomorrow!
Sounds like a great craft idea! Glad the girls went down well for you. I enjoyed reading your journey and getting to know you better. I really enjoyed learning about your hbac. Thanks for sharing!
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
Great intro, Melynda.
I am glad you are coming out of the sleep issues with Ally!
That craft idea sounds like a lot of fun. Please post pictures!!
Wow I loved reading your stories. Thanks for sharing
Christy birth doula, Hypnobabies instructor, small business owner & most importantly MOMMY.