Love the pics! And I agree, your mom looks REALLY young! Wow!
Mara & Joel, 2009
Thanks, everyone. I really like the one I put in my siggy, too.
I haven't updated in a while, and it won't be much longer until this lodge will be over. It kind of makes me sad to think about.
On Saturday, we went to an expo put on by a magazine for parents of young children. It was pretty fun. I picked up the latest issue of the magazine (I get it every month--it's free and there's a calendar of all the activities for kids in the area) and there was a birth story in it about a woman how had multiple unassisted homebirths. It was a very beautiful story. I was surprised to see it in such a relatively mainstream pulication, though. There was a box next to the story text that advised those interested in homebirth to speakwith a professional about the risks and benefits of it, and then it listed contact info for some midwives who attend homebirths--none are in my *immediate* area, but there were a couple who were closer than I thought we had any. I'll have to let my friend H, who had 2 homebirths in another area and just found out she's pregnant again, know about the article and the midwives.
Had a crazy evening yesterday. DH had called to say he was going to TriCities (about 1 1/2 hours away) with his boss for dinner and to help him buy a new tv so he won't be home until late. I was just trying to cook some ground beef so DD and I could have tacos for dinner, and I was letting DD play outside and she kept climbing over the fence and going into the neighbor's yard, and then Teio wanted to be held, so I kept trying to put him in the wrap, but then I had to take him out because it is not possible to climb a fence to get your two year old with a baby strapped to you. The second time she climbed over the fence I gave her a time out and didn't let her go back outside. Then I got Teio back in the wrap, and just as I was going back in the kitchen, DD starts crying because she had opened the oven door and used it as a step stool to reach the stove, and she burned her fingers on the pot where the beef was cooking. Yeah, try holding a toddler over the sink so she can run cold water over her burned fingers with a baby tied to you! We finally got dinner cooked and then I put DD in the bath, and she kept crying because the warm water was hurting the burned spots. Baby still awake and fussy. He finally goes to sleep while she's in the bath and I get her in bed. What a night!
Ohhhhh, yes. I know it is so hard to have nights like that. It can been very trying. I hope her little fingers feel better soon. My toddler burned his fingers on someone's gas fireplace a couple of months ago, and they all blistered up badly. After the first day or so the pain lessened and he complained a lot less than I would have if it were me. My toddler also climbs, like yours. Onto counters, over furniture, pulls up on the oven door, pushes chairs around to get what he wants to get. And as of a week ago, taking off his pants and diaper to go potty - I am not ready for that!!! It is surely a full-time job just to watch a two year old, and here you are trying to do all of that with a newborn. It's a tough time, but it's the little moments of cuddling and giggling and peace for a few minutes that remind you why you are doing it!
I am actually struggling quite a bit with my own children right now, as far as taking care of everyone's needs and worrying about adding a newborn into the mix, again, and I know I have done it before, but it hasn't gotten easier like some people say it does. It's a lot of trial and error (stress the error on my part!) and also letting some things go at times. It's hard when DH isn't home, and you are going solo. I have been very glad, though, that our children are closely spaced for the reason that it doesn't take long before they play together and they are interested in the same things, and still, with the oldest almost nine, they still all play imaginary games together and the two year old thinks he is just as big as the rest of them and plays along.
I saw someone who looked like you in your pictures at Costco on Saturday, who had a cute little baby boy in her cart, and I smiled at her, but I am sure it wasn't you. Her baby was a bit older than yours and we live farther apart than that. But you have a twin!
Sorry for the novel. I hope I didn't say too much. Just empathizing!
Wow, what a night...I hope your DD feels better quickly. I can't believe how time is flying either! I've been enjoying following your story, though...it's so nice to hear other moms' experiences who are doing similar things to what I'm planning (the good AND the bad, so I will feel more prepared and not alone through the less-rosy stuff that happens). TFS!
Thanks for the support, ladies. We are surviving.
Had a busy day yesterday. We really needed diapers, milk, and bread, so I took both kids to the grocery store by myslef for the first time. I wore the baby in my wrap so DD could ride in the shopping cart and it worked really well. I can't imagine trying to do it any other way--that would mean either not having room in the shopping cart for groceries or letting DD walk and chasing her around the store. It actually was a pretty uneventful shopping trip.
After we got home, my friend J called and said her DD has been asking to play with DD, so they came over and it was nice to talk to her for a while. She is throwing me a welcome baby party in a few weeks. She's a graphic designer, so she does really professional looking invitations.
Since it's the start of the month, DH will probably be working late doing month end accounting for the next several nights, which means I won't have his help in the evenings, but we'll make it work.
We went to the library again today, but I had forgotten that the schools in the area are out on spring break, so the library is doing daily activities to give the kids who are out of school something to do. So, DD got to paint a rock today--it came out quite lovely. She kind of gooped the paint on, so it looks like it will probably take like 3 days to dry, so we left it at the library and said we'll come back for it. We didn't stay too long because DD kept trying to go back into the paint after she was done with her rock and I'd already washed her up, and it was too difficult to hold the baby and keep her under control. They're doing "plant a flower" tomorrow, so we might go. On the way out, there were some girl scouts selling girl scout cookies--I bought 2 boxes. I already bought 2 boxes a while ago, but they were gone fast. At least it's for a good cause.
I had an interesting realization yesterday. I was getting ready to go to the store, and I realized that since Teio's birth, most of the times I've gone out, I've been taking the time to put on make-up. After DD was born, I got into a habbit of only wearing make-up for special occasions, but here I am, putting it on to go to the grocery store. I can think of a few reasons why I'm doing this, but I like to believe that one of the biggest ones is that Teio's birth changed me. Early in my pregnancy with him, I did some journaling to help me emotionally prepare for giving birth. I had been having memories of failures from my past come up--stuff from student teaching and old jobs and the like. Here is a quote from my journal entry dated July 22, 2009 [the bracketed part I just added]:
"I hate the pressure [most of which I put on myself] to do everything right and have a nasty habit of internalizing criticism and feeling like a failure or disappointment if I don't do everything right even though I know we are all human and no one is perfect--I still seem to keep feeling like something must be wrong with me if I don't meet people's expectations. Perhaps these feelings of inadequacy influence my faith in my body, and maybe the disappointment I felt after Tehani's birth was a reflection of that--I had great hopes of proving everyone who said I couldn't do it without an epidural wrong, but I have always regretted the pitocin more than the epidural, and maybe getting the pitocin was, to me, somehow admitting inadequacy in my body's ability to control the birth process as it is meant to. . . This is why it is important for me to avoid pitocin this time not just because it makes it more difficult to avoid the pain meds and tends to lead to more intervention, but also because I need to be albe to have my own hormones control my birth, for myself. . . I feel like if I do get a chance to prove to myself that my body can do it, that there is nothing inherently inadequate about me that it will be very healing and self-esteem building for me."
And I do think it was. I think that is why I am now taking more time to look nice, because I have more confidence in myself and also because I have a greater appreciation for my body and want to show more respect for it.
I've been reading all kinds of stuff all over the internet about birth. The other ladies who are LDS here (Elizabeth, Jen, etc.) might be interested in this blog: http://thegiftofgivinglife.blogspot.com/ This one post in particular is extremely interesting: http://thegiftofgivinglife.blogspot....1_archive.html
I've also been reading some posts on www.myobsaidwhat.com. It reminded me of the discussion I had with the OB I saw when I was pregnant with DD. I decided to see if my post on this board after that appointment was pruned yet, and it's not, so you can read it here: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...d.php?t=173384 Looking back for it was kind of fun, to see who was posting back then and remember that time in my life. It's kind of funny to see how *nice* I was about all of it back then. I submitted his comment about gravity to myOBsaidWHAT?, so I'll have to see if they use it.
Hi there! Hope you had a good weekend and got to enjoy conference!
Thanks for the links. I did find that one especially interesting and shared some facts with DH about the women being sent to learn obstetrics. I do find it extremely interesting that some of us are more interested in pregnancy and birthing than others of us. For various reasons. I thought it was interesting, the post about what do you do for yourself spiritually during pregnancy. Especially because I tend to have a difficult time with this, especially during the first half of pregnancy when I feel so extremely sick. I have had pregnancies where I missed church for months and could barely turn my eyes or turn over without throwing up. I tend to get depressed and move away from my spiritual side during those times, instead of the other way around. I know it isn't right, it's just what happens. I am barely surviving during those times. Thankfully, not every pregnancy has been like that. About half. The other half have been less intense that way. However, I do feel my spiritual side very strongly around birthing time and when I have a newborn. I feel like I am fulfilling what I am meant to do. I feel extremely gratified and I absolutely love it. That is what keeps me having more babies, i guess. Even though there is so much difficulty in the beginning, I have been lucky to have healthy babies and everything that is difficult and stressful is brought to a point where I am reminded the reasons for all of this and that these children were meant for our family.
I won't go on, because I could, you know! But I appreciate the links and will enjoy reading them more. I shared the gravity comment with DH. Unbelievable.
sorry you guys had such a rough night! How's DD doing now?
Thanks for the links. I submitted my OB's comment that "when you're bleeding to death is a really bad time to place an IV" on there too
I actually just started reading that blog a few weeks ago- isn't it wonderful? I'm happy to hear about the labor confidence boost- I wish more women could use labor as a way to view themselves more positively. It really is amazing, the things we can do as women.
Kristen, I actually thought of the "bleeding to death" comment as one that was saidWHAT-worthy. I'm glad you submitted it.
Well, my baby boy is officially one month old today. He is getting so big already! It's bittersweet.
A big thank you to all the ladies who have shared this journey with me. Your support has meant a lot to me and I'm sure I will re-read this in the future and remember all of you.