Hawkes birth story:
I had been having on/ off contractions for days that did not get worse or regular, so I had begun to just ignore them. On Friday the 17th I was to be 41 weeks so my mw wanted me to go in for a BPP and time was starting to tick down. My dad was coming in on the 20th so I really wanted to have him before that, but still was not getting ansy. On Thursday evening the contractions were a bit stronger and felt like they might be going somewhere. I had a glass of wine took some Tylenol and they were not phased. I called my mw to let her know what was going on. I decided to get in the bath and then go to bed. In the night I woke up twice to some more painful contractions, but fell back asleep. Then at 2:00 I woke up to a sharp pain and jumped out of bed. The next thing I knew my water had broken and I ran to the bathroom. Finn called the mw and she wanted to know the color of the fluid. It was cloudy, but not green so we were happy. Shortly after my water broke the contractions got very intense, I had use all of my concentration to get through them. Finn drew me a bath and I got in, that helped a bit, but they were getting stronger and closer together. We called the mw again and she asked if I wanted her to come, I said yes. She lives almost two hours away and I was so worried she would not make it in time. At this point the contractions were pretty unbearable, nothing helped to relieve them at all. I wanted to get out of the tub and go to the bed which was tough since I did not even have time between contractions to walk the short distance. Once in bed Finn got behind me and helped me work through them. They were now coming one on top of each other and I was shaking uncontrollably. Around 4 the mw showed up. She checked me and I was at a six. She said she felt Hawkes was posterior and not in a good position. She had me get on my hands and knees for a couple of contractions and then on the birth ball. These were the most painful contractions yet and now I had a lot of pelvic pain inbetween as well. When she timed the contractions they were coming a minute apart and a minute long. After awhile she asked if I wanted to be checked again, I said yes. In two hours I had only progressed a centimeter. I wanted to get back in the tub, so she talked to me about my options while in the tub. She was happy to let me labor as long as I needed as long as both of us were doing well. Hawkes was doing great, his heat tones never dropped below 140 even during the contractions, I however was starting to doubt my ability to do this. She asked if I wanted to try some phenegran just to relax me and I agreed. She gave me a shot and two Tylenol with Codine. This did not take any of the pain away, but allowed me to relax and sleep between contractions. About an hour and a half later I started getting the urge to push. I got out of the tub and onto the bed so she could check me. I was almost complete and just had a lip. She said i could start pushing when I felt like it. I felt so much better now, the contractions were further apart and more tolerable. For the next hour or so I just let the contractions come over me and occasoinally pushed if it felt right. Then the contractions got stronger and so did the urge to push. I was on my side at this point with Finn holding up my leg during the contractions. I pushed like this for a bit, but it was not very effective and Hawkes was still posterior. The mw had me get more on my back with Finn supporting my legs. The mw had me grip my legs to help push. At this point he started to turn in the birth canal, that really hurt. He got about part way around and stopped at transverse. After another hour and a half of pushing he was just starting to crown. He had not tucked his head so I was getting the full circumference of his head. Rather than trying to support my perinium the mw had to have both her hands in me to help push me aside so he could get out. At this point I just felt constant almost unbearable pain and was just read to get him out. Thw mw said she never asks this, but she asked if I wanted an episiotomy, she really thought he would not be able to make it. I was so out of it I asked if it would hurt. Then another contraction came on and I was ready to push again. She said if he was not out after this one she would cut. I was determined to get him out with this contraction. I pushed with all my might and his head finally came out. The mw barely had a secound to check whether or not the cord was around his neck before I pushed out the rest of him. Now that was a great feeling. He immediately cried and was on my chest. I kept saying how perfect he was and the mw said, "Look at that head. I just can't believe what you did. I mean, that was the toughest push I've had in years. You know, you are one incredible woman." He latched on right away and shortly after I delivered the placenta. Then I gushed blood, the mw said she thinks I lost about 1 liter. But she managed to stop it and I was fine, but very weak. After she stiched up my small tear both Hawkes and I went in the bath. He weighed 8lbs 5oz, was 21 and 1/4 inches long and had a head circumference of 35 cm. It was so nice to be at home and crawl into my own bed after.
So while I got the natural hb I wanted, his birth was way more difficult than I had expected and it took me a long time to comes to terms with how painful and tough it was. It was not the awe inspiring, empowering exsperience I had expected. I feel now though that a lot of that had to do with his positioning. Even my mw said it was a toughre birth than usual. Do to my birth exsperience and the exstreme m/s I was really not sure if I wanted to go through with it all again, but I did want Hawkes to have a sibling. Also I had really bad pp anxiety disorder which took awhile to work through. I ended up on progestrone cream which really helped balance me out. I suspect I have some hormonal imbalance issues since I am more even while pg. After Hawkes was born I had a non hormonal IUD put in. We were not planning on even thinking about another until after we were both finished with our degrees. Well in the fall of 2008 I started feeling like I was pg again. I took a test and it was positive. I took a bunch more and all very faint positives. We were totally freaked out since I had the IUD in still. I went to my mw and had it removed. Another month passed and I started having some spotting. When I went back to my mw she looked at my HCG levels and it turned out I was never pg. I had a ton of tests run to see why I had had the positive tests. Everything came up fine and we still do not know what happened. I had the positive tests, tons of symptoms and a delayed period but was not pg. Now we had taken the IUD out and my mw was out of non hormonal IUDs do to a supply issue. I went on the ring. The summer of 2009 I was having a horrible reaction to the ring so went off. I was away from DH at the time since he did field research all summer. Well when we got back together we were not that careful and I ended up pg again. Not what we had planned since this was DH's last year of his PhD and I was supposed to be finsihing my masters. I decided to just focus on getting my coursework done and not my creative component.
More later have to go comfort Hawkes.
Last edited by drakew; 04-11-2010 at 02:12 AM.
Wel he seems to be fine now with DH, so I will finish up.
So this pg has been also pretty uneventful. I did get m/s again, but not as bad as with Hawkes. Only throwing up 3-4 times a day. The annoying thing was unlike with Hawkes it has never gone away just lessened. We went back to the same mw who delivered Hawkes since we have a great relationship with her. She has actually remained mine and Hawkes NP in between, so it was not much of a switch. It took me awhile in this pg to come to terms with my past birth and realize that it will not necessarily repeat itslef. I looked into hypnobabies, but decided I was not sure it was for me and it was more than I could afford. I allow myslef one spendy out of pocket birth thing each pg and decided this time I would rather put my money towards having my placenta encapsulated due to my past pp issues. At the twenty week u/s we found out I was having a girl, even though I knew it all along it was nice to have it confirmed. I was super excited since I have always wanted a girl. Dh took a bit more to come around, since he was pretty freaked out at first. I admit I have not been doing much to prepare this pg like I did last time. Not sure if that is because I am in denial, have so much going on, or I eel at ease. I keep having this visions that come to me of how the birth will go though. it was because of these I decided I wanted a waterbirth, I just kept envisioning the birth that way. So I ordered a kiddie pool and the waterbirth kit. Still need to test it all out, not sure where it will fit in our tiny house.
So now I am at the end of the pg and torn between ready to have the baby and wanting her to be late. I am due May 8th and the semester ends on May 7th. My mom is coming for the month of May, so it would be nice to wait until then. Also we are waiting to hear on a job for DH and then we will know whether or not we are putting our house on the market in May or not. Right now is just limboland between the end of the pg, not knowing where we will be living come August, and DH finishing his PhD. It is kind of crazyland here. Another thing is that I have a really important conference April 24-26th in Eastern Iowa, so I would like to hold out until after then. It is a conference for the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators and I have signed up to have my manuscript reviewed and a portfolio review. For my masters I am writing and illustrating a children's guide to strams for the fifth grade level. Children's book illustration is really what I want to do. this conference could be really important for my career so I really do not want to miss it. It is a three hour drive away, and my mw is fine with me going, so we will see. I just have this gut feeling she will be early, so we will see. I am feeling about where I was at 38 weeks with Hawkes in that I am hainvg loose bowels and random contrations. I had three weeks of this with him. Also she has dropped, so who knows. Wow this is really long, so yeah to you if you made it through.
Hi Drake! Welcome to your lodge! Thanks for all of the stories.
So the last couple of days have been weird. Thursday night I woke up in the middle of the night and felt like I could breath and my throat was closed up and terrible heartburn which I have not had this pg. I was so tired, but every time I lay down it came back. So I got up and went to try to sleep more upright. finally figured out it was a panic attack, so worked on calming myself down. My brain finally let me process what was happening, which was a ear of going before 37 weeks and not getting my hb. After I had processed that I fell back asleep. Then I woke up really nauseous and did not go to class, but I was fine by mid day. I just kept having this feeling that I was not ready for this baby yet, but I needed to get ready. Not really stuff for the baby, but that my house is not ready for a hb. So I spent the day trying to clear stuff out of my dining room. Am feeling better today, but who knows. The number seven keeps popping into my mind on this birth, so who knows. I am 37 weeks on the 17th and the full moon is the night after the 27th. So we will see.
I also have pp anxiety issues, so I hear you there. And my first labor was natural but also much harder than I thought it would be due to the baby's position. Hopefully these next babies will be a bit more agreeable.
Sounds like your body is starting to send you "Get ready" signals... how exciting!
Welcome to your lodge! I've enjoyed reading your intro. I have always suffered from anxiety disorder and some depression - it has been so different since I got pregnant - I never considered the hormonal imbalance being a part of it - but I know I have a low progesterone issue anyway since coming off BCP... something to think about.
Yeah my progesterone is what is the lowest for me and being on a specially compounded progesterone cream really does help. Also the hormones that are in BCP are not the same chemical make up as our natural hormones, so they can actually have more detrimental affects on women with hormonal imbalances. I am having my placenta encapsulated this time to see if that helps.