Thread: *~*~Jennie's (selkiemom) Birth Lodge~*~*

Originally Posted by graysonsmom

Ooops, hehe I guess I was a couple days early....but I'm still glad I did it I've been counting the weeks and then days for your lodge! Guess I got a little too excited and couldn't wait just 2 more WHOLE days Sounds like your keeping you self busy with work for now, that should keep your mind off things, for this week anyway!

You made my week by starting it early! I was wondering if anyone would remember to even start it at all on Sunday, and then you started it early and said you were excited to do so.

I'm glad I got to make your week, in your current state some women are a little harder to make happy Have a woderful weekend hun!

I'm excited for you to be getting a girl! I hope her birth goes wonderfully for you.

Today I'm 36 weeks. That's 28 days left until my due date. (But who's counting?)

In previous pregnancies I never felt contractions until labor, but this time I've felt a bunch. At my 35 week appointment I asked for an internal check just to make sure. I'd been having trouble with the Turkish dentist and couldn't figure out if I was starting to dilate. (Long story made short: the Turkish dentist is a euphemism for self-examination.) The midwife didn't want to do it and asked why I wanted to know. I told her I knew it didn't mean too much, but if for some crazy reason I was already 4 cm, then I'd rest for the next 2 weeks rather than go to work. So she checked, and I was anterior but high and closed tight. That is probably the first internal check I asked for in 3 pregnancies.

I've mostly had to work from home, but I plan to go to the office at least once and hopefully twice this week. After that, I think maternity leave will start officially. I always need more time to finish wrapping up everything, but at least I can start to tell people that I'm out so nothing new comes up.

Midwife appointment tomorrow. I'll give the last of my paperwork and my birth plan. I'm still seeing a midwife at the birth center. I'd prefer a home birth, but I haven't been able to find one. And then there's the insurance issue.

Yay for 36 weeks! It's really creeping up on us... I had been meaning to ask you the mod question since I first saw you on the Dec board. I think you were a mod when I was pregnant with Ethan or right after

Originally Posted by cmljll

Yay for 36 weeks! It's really creeping up on us... I had been meaning to ask you the mod question since I first saw you on the Dec board. I think you were a mod when I was pregnant with Ethan or right after

I remember you from then.

It was fun, but it's time consuming and a volunteer effort.

I have a lot of respect for anyone who is or has been a mod! Definitely takes more commitment than I can give...

It's great that you can still work a bit from home! Travel must be getting more difficult. I know it is for me!

Originally Posted by selkiemom

Oh, yeah, this baby's temporary name is Little Fox. The name is all picked out. Actually, she 'told' me her first name, and dh and I have accepted her choice. I always liked the name, but I don't know that I'd have chosen it as 'the one.' But that is what she wants, so she is getting it. And the middle name is one we picked while engaged 10 years ago for a girl and love. The name, however, will not be announced until we have a naming ceremony 1-2 weeks after she is born.

I love the naming ceremony idea! Did you do one with the boys? I'd love to hear more about the tradition and what you have planned, if that's an okay thing to share (I'm really pretty clueless to the custom - lol)

Midwife update.

Negative protein and urine. Blood pressure 110/70. 37 cm fundus. Baby's heartbeat was 135 (she was asleep). She is head down with her back pointing to my right side. My weight is up 35 lbs. total since conception (only 2 lbs. this past week). Although my midwife is now giving the GBS swab at 37 weeks for most moms because the CDC says it should be done within 5 weeks of delivery, I asked for it to be done today just to get it over with and she agreed because I've never gone past 40 weeks with a baby so I should be within that range.

I handed over the last of my paperwork to the center and my birth plan which I said was basically the same as for my last birth. I'd used the same one which I'd saved on the computer and just edited it. I also said that it looked long (7 pages), but that was because I had separate sections with a lot of redundancy in each for birth center, hospital, and c-section.

We met with Cathy P, the director, so this was my chance to ask my big questions. It was a really good meeting. I said I needed to mention 2 separate issues to her, and I wanted to address them head-on. I said we love this center and you know it, but we would really like a home birth if at all possible. She said she's always known that about us, and she said it in that nice way. I said I know you've had people in the past who pretend they are coming in and that labor "went too fast" and they don't show up, but we don't want to do that. My labor does go fast, and we will have a kit on hand in case, but that is not the plan. We either want to plan a homebirth or plan to be here. Cathy appreciated our straightforward discussion. She said the only homebirth midwives she knew in CT didn't come this far west. I said I'd looked for them in my county in NY, but there seem to be none. She said as far as she knows, there really aren't, but keep calling around, and if I decide to transfer they will understand it is being done in the nicest way. I also said that we'd have to see about insurance because I don't think my insurance would cover it, so honestly it is sort of a long shot that we will end up with a homebirth. She said she understood completely and whatever we decided was fine. I asked if there were any possibility of us paying for their insurance to cover them for a homebirth, and she said she wished, but they just can't get the malpractice insurance. She said that three organizations are such watchdogs on them, that they can't even let a mom who gives birth 2 days before being 37 weeks pregnant be in their center or it would be closed down. And she said that when she retires from the center, she may consider being a freelance homebirth midwife. But at the center, she just can't. Anyway, it was an open and honest discussion, and I think she 'got' exactly what we were saying.

I also said that the 2nd issue was my comfort level with Sarah. I said I liked her, agreed with her perspective, etc, but I just don't feel comfortable birthing with her now. I said she point blank said she would not feel comfortable letting us do our own thing during the birth as long as everything is going well. And she is a very directive personality. I said, I don't want that, and I'd expressed concern last midwife visit to Cathy G. who may have mentioned it to her (Cathy P.), and Cathy P. said yes, she did mention it. I said that Sarah said she'd be urging me to eat and drink during labor, and I said, I don't want her urging me to do anything. I said that Sarah asked if I was preparing my kids for the noises I'd make during birth, and I said you Cathy P. know from first hand experience that I'm basically silent during birth. Cathy P. said as long as we were asking for the same thing as last time and the midwife could have us in sight, she was fine with what we wanted. She knew us and our preference, and she was happy to support that. I said that during Ridley's birth, Katy was standing next to me, and even that felt too close. I also said I knew they had to monitor me and would jump in during an emergency, and really the reason we were at the center was only in case of an emergency so we understood and supported all that. She said that she would talk to both Cathy G. and Sarah and explain that we really did know what we wanted, that I'm telling the truth about what I'm like during birth, and that it was ok to let us do that. And she said that if worse came to worse, she would try to have either her or Cathy G. on duty for when I gave birth. I said that we realize it's hard for someone trained to do a job not to do it during a situation, and the more experience someone has, the harder it is not to do it. I said that where I really need help is in the medical stuff, particularly the stitching afterwards if necessary.

The conversation could not have gone better. She totally was supportive of what we wanted and appreciative of our upfront discussion. So that was all good. I said we call it "unassisted but not unattended," and she said she really liked that as if she never heard it before. She reassured us that she would talk to everyone there and said "you're not wackos, you just want something particular, and it's not what most people want."

It's looking more and more like I will have the birth center birth rather than a home birth, and I admit to some sadness about that. It's safer than an unattended birth, and I don't want to do anything unsafe. But staying home would be really special if we could find a way to do it.

I'm glad to hear your conversation went so well. I think it's great that you recognize what you need from your caregiver and are so upfront about making sure you get it. I *think* I am the kind of person who likes people with me during birth, but if I were the type that wanted to be alone, I would still want a professional there in case some kind of medical attention is necessary.