Here you go hun, I hope you have a chace to use this lodge and that you make it to 37 weeks!! Can't wait to get to know more about you
Welcome to your lodge Jessica!!
~ Karrie ~
Logan - 8
Joey - 6
Mikayla - 3
Ethan - 2
Ok, intro time!
Let's see, to start off with, my name is Jessica, and as my username tells you I am a musician. I graduated Summa C um Laude from college in 08 with a Music Education degree, finishing my 5 year degree in 4. Did I mention that while in college, I got married and held several part time jobs, including one performing with a renowned Opera Chorus? It nearly killed me, but was totally worth it High school for me was my house, but more on that later in the story. I taught Middle School Choir the 2008-2009 school year, and while I liked some parts of it, boy was it tough. My plan for this year is teaching High School voice lessons, which started today and I LOVE it! 2 days a week, very flexible schedule, opportunity for pumping breaks, excellent pay for part time work, etc.
Backing up to the earlier parts of my life, I was born in California 15 months after my older brother, thanks to my Mom thinking BFing was birth control Along came my younger sisters 2 and 6 years later, then we moved to Arizona, where we added two more brothers over the next 5 years. We finally got to Texas when I was 10, and my Dad got a job keeping computers from crashing for Y2K. A few years later, along comes brother #4. So I am one of 7 kids, 4 brothers and 2 sisters, and we were/are all homeschooled. In some ways I think this was great, and in some ways I think I could have thrived in a slightly less sheltered environment. Texas brought a lot of opportunities for a big homeschool family, including opportunities for me to be in Choir, which was instantly the highlight of my existence. When High school came around, I took a few classes out of the home, Math and AP English taught by ladies who used to teach in public schools but now have a full load of homeschool students who take their classes, and of course Choir (and Ballet, which was really fun!).
AP English was definitely the highlight of the classes though, because Sophmore year I met the man I married. Of course, I didn't talk to him that year, wasn't in class with him the next year, and finally struck up a conversation the first day of Senior year. We hit it off right away, and I mentally filed him away under possible guy of interest We talked every class day that year (once a week), and developed a friendship. At the end of the year, I finally made it painfully obvious that I didn't have a boyfriend by showing him pictures of myself at the homeschool prom without a date...yes there's a homeschool prom, it was actually really fun and yes, we danced with people other than our brothers LOL. After that I invited him to my last choir concert of the year, and he FINALLY asked for my number to get directions. Boys are so dense sometimes. When he finally did call, we talked for HOURS, and that pattern continued for many days to come. After that, he met my parents, and right after graduation he asked my Dad's permission to court me. Yes court. My parents are very conservative, and our time together was never alone time, we always had a chaperone. I definitely think this contributed to our delinquent behavior whenever the chaperone was ditched, since we got the idea that being alone together led to bad things The next February, a week before Valentine's day, he proposed over lunch at Spaghetti warehouse with my parents at the next table. I knew it was coming, but I thought it would be later, I could barely say yes because I was so shocked. It was a great day, I actually bought my dress that same day because it was the last day of the David's Bridal sale. We got married on my 19th birthday.
The hard part
Things started out good but hard, and got harder. We were both young and had immaturity to deal with, and ended up getting pretty bitter with one another by the end of year 2. When I got a job at a restaurant Senior year of college, things started to go downhill fast. I got a lot of attention from the other male waiters, and it made me realize that my DH was very controlling, not affectionate, and in some ways emotionally abusive. The controlling was to the point of calling me up to 60 times in a row if I didn't answer, and always needing to know EXACTLY where I was and who I was with. Rather than working on it, I ended up distancing myself over a long period of time, and last summer (2008 ) I moved out. I even changed my phone number because I knew he would follow me, which worked for all of 1 day, he called the phone company and found out. He started going to counseling on his own at the church we had gone to (he had stopped going for about a year), and my parents were on his side because they don't believe in divorce, which was my goal as soon as I left.
It was the hardest 3 months of my life in every possible way. I got drunk a lot, partied a lot, and did things that will follow me the rest of my life. In September, my best friend (who never abandoned me and stuck with me the whole time) sat down and had a talk with me. Her husband and my DH were close friends, and she wanted to let me know how much DH had changed. I still didn't want to believe it, but after a lot of soul searching I realized I couldn't give up everything I had worked toward, and agreed to meet with our Pastors and see if we could figure this mess out. Seeing my DH again after 3 months was really difficult, especially since he almost lost it as soon as he saw me. After a long talk, and an agreement of counseling, we decided to put the effort into making it work again.
We went to counseling every week for a while, then every month, and finally we were back on our feet again, living out the marriage we should have had from the beginning, but never did. I felt like I had found a new person inside the one I had loved, and I loved this one even more! However, we still had some trust issues to work out, mainly him not trusting me to not leave again.
My TTC background
So, partly to show him how much I loved him and wanted to be with him the rest of my life, and partly because we knew we were ready, I decided to go off the pill. A little background on that, I have NEVER had a real period in my life except when I was on the pill. Despite hitting puberty early (had boobs at 8 lol), I didn't start any kind of cycle until age 15, and even then it was spotting for a few days, months without, spotting, extremely irregular and light. Doctors couldn't pinpoint a cause, one said PCOS but I have none of the normal symptoms except no periods. All of them said it would be difficult to conceive. Went on the pill before the wedding, got off it for a year in college (in hindsight, trying to mend our breaking relationship with a baby) and didn't have a single period for a year, and no baby. With that in mind, I went off the pill last December, expecting it to take a LONG time to conceive, and possibly fertility treatments.
It was no surprise when I didn't get a period the next month, but what WAS surprising was the nausea, ridiculous sense of smell, and complete exhaustion. So I took a test...negative. Looking back, I was only 9 DPO so of course it was negative. So I shrugged it off, and went through the next few days, and didn't feel any better. So 5 days later, I test again with FMU. Blaring positive. I was so shocked and excited I couldn't move, and woke DH up right away and told him. I truly consider this baby to be not only a miracle, but an example of God giving us wonderful things we don't deserve exactly when we need them. We told both sets of parents over the next 2 days, and the whole world knew soon after.
My pregnancy was really easy 1st trimester, I only threw up once (while driving of course), and my main symptom was exhaustion. Around week 12, I started feeling pretty darn good. Week 14, felt some weird sensations in my tummy I chalked up to RLP, then thought I might have a UTI. Tested negative, so I didn't think anything of it. Weeks later, realized the tummy sensations I had been feeling were actually Braxton Hicks contractions. No big deal, I just felt them early. Found out at 20 weeks, IT's A BOY!! His name will be Hunter Lane S*****. At 23 weeks, I had more than 6 BH an hour for several hours, and knew something weird was going on. Went straight to the midwife (had just switched from an OB because I wanted to use a birth center), she checked my cervix and I was fingertip and 40% effaced. Gave me some herbs to try, and I went home. No change to the contractions, called the midwife and headed to the nearest hospital and got monitored for an hour. I will never go back to that hospital on principal, because they told me at 23 weeks I wasn't even considered to have a viable pregnancy yet, so they didn't even consider medication, it would have been considered a miscarriage. I just about punched the nurse in the face.
This was the beginning of my bedrest. 2 weeks later, I consulted with a Perinatologist, who did a really in-depth u/s and said my cervix was 3.5 cm long and closed, so perfectly within acceptable range, and baby boy was perfect in every way! No more full bedrest, just taking it easy! The BH got worse, we realized that in our financial situation we could not afford the midwife, so we switched back to an OB, a new one who had been recommended to me as supportive of natural birth. At our first appointment at 26 weeks, we didn't even meet my doctor, just her nurses, who were great. Got another u/s, which measured the cervix just above 3 cm (I didn't know it had shortened til later), baby Hunter was still healthy and perfect. The next day, I was in L&D with contractions coming every 10 minutes. Had my first encounter with terbutaline, and did not enjoy it. 3 shots over a few hours in the back of your arm, not fun. Met the doctor at my next appointment (now 28 weeks pg), she answered all of my questions and was really nice, I LOVE her! At this point, found out my cervix has shortened again and is now hovering at 2.75 cm, and may be funneling. Full bed rest again, and another appointment in 2 days. At that appointment, got my GD test done (negative!), and another u/s, which showed my cervix stable at 2.75. Got a prescription for terbutaline to take orally as needed, and I was to come back in a week. I needed the meds the next day, for regular, but not painful, contractions. That weekend, I had a few contractions that were a LOT of pressure, so I knew something was up, called the nurse and was told to up my terbutaline from 2.5 mg to 5 mg. This did help, but made me feel awful. At my next appointment, my OB took another cervix measurement, and it was down to about 2.5, so I was sent to L&D for a Fetal Fibronectin test (checks if I'll go into labor in the next 2 weeks, I think this was actually my second) which was negative (yay), more terbutaline shots, a new medication (nifedipene), and the steroid shots to develop Hunter's lungs. I ended up having to stay overnight, joy. All this at 30 weeks pregnant.
Now I'm taking nifedipene every 6 hours (on a timer), and terbutaline as needed, so I haven't been back to L&D since, yay! Cervix checks since then have shown 2.75 at 31 weeks and 2.5 with more obvious funneling at my last appointment nearly 2 weeks ago, but the FFN was negative. Someone forgot to tell my uterus about that though, I have been having VERY strong birthing-type contractions since Monday, and if it weren't for the terbutaline I am almost positive Hunter would have made his appearance this week. But I'm still pregnant, just completely unable to stand for more than 2 minutes without intense pressure waves that almost knock me down. Hypnobabies practice has actually helped a lot during some of the really intense stuff, I'm on the maintenance program now! Next appointment is Tuesday, I'll be one day away from 34 weeks! We'll probably talk about getting off the medication at either 36 or 37 weeks, and I'm really wanting to push for 36 because I HATE being on medication, it messes me up and I am pretty miserable at this point, but at the same time I'm torn because I want to make sure Hunter is ok.
This whole pregnancy has been a spiritual awakening for me, and it seems like each challenge has helped me deal with situations and emotions and memories that I didn't even know needed to be dealt with. My relationship with God is better than it has been in years, and I'm doing my best to place my trust in Him that everything will work out exactly how it needs to. Writing this intro out was very cleansing in it's own way, despite very nearly making me cry during the hard parts.
If you made it through this novel, you deserve some sort of medal. Anyway, that is my introduction/life story
Cool story!! I too was married at 19 (though I was almost 20) Every marriage has it's up's and downs. We both came from VERY conservative families as well and never dated each other nor anyone else. I find it so special that he's only ever been mine It sounds like you guys really have it together now and are traveling the great road of life hand in hand!! I can't wait to hear about your birth story and see pics!!!! Happy Anniversary AND birthday btw!
Last edited by batgirlandrobin; 08-08-2009 at 09:40 AM.
Welcome to your lodge! Great intro as well. I enjoyed reading it. I am so glad that things have worked out for you and DH. Getting married young can be hard. I got married young also. I just barely turned 20 and DH was 22.
That is amazing that you conceived in the first month. Wonderful! I am also sooo happy that you are still pregnant after all of these challenges since you hit 23 weeks. That is just amazing! You are almost to 34 weeks! Yay! Just take one week at a time and you will get there. Just take it easy!