We are all doing very well still, I will work on my birth story soon. I have just been having a rough couple of days sore/pain wise. I also have had what seemed like a stomach bug and luckily it only lasted half a day and only affected me it but was not fun. Plus Parker has been up most of the night so im just extremely exhausted during the day and especially caring for my two year old. I try to come on when I can. Thanks for asking, and I will have my birth story soon. Hope all you ladies are doing well!
My goodness there was a huge baby boom while I was MIA. Look at that prescious little man! Hope you get some more rest soon and maybe I'll get a birth story up before you
I'm late to this but congratulations on the VBAC! He's adorable.
The acting out for Johnny is normal and it will pass, it's heartbreaking but it will pass. Know that at some point down the road your two boys will be playing together and looking at them you won't be able to imagine them NOT having eachother and it will make this initial hard transition worth everything.
We had a stomach bug at our house, too--my DD got it the worst and was having some bad vomiting. She's all better now, though.
I hope you are able to get some sleep soon. That is hard about having a 2 year old and a newborn, you can't just sleep whenever the newborn sleeps like you do when you only have one.
Finally found the time and forced myself to write my birth story or I probably never would, and Parker is already 3 weeks old.
It is very long.. Here it is
Monday the 13th I had an appt with the perinatologist. The week before I had scheduled it to be in my town instead of Tucson where the doctor clearly wanted to see me. I figured being 70 miles away they wouldn’t be so pushy to give me a cervical check and break my waters. Monday came and I decided to cancel for another week. I figured something was sure to happen in a week and it bought me time to do this on my own. That day I was pretty crampy and getting lots of BH at work. I even told my boss that I’m going to walk a lot tonight and since I’m not feeling too well that I could be having this baby tomorrow (Tuesday). When I got home from work Johnny and I took a walk to my sisters who lives a few blocks away and back. When daddy got home, we walked to the grocery store and back. It was about a total of 4 miles. Other than the BH from earlier that day, I felt great and didn’t have a single contraction. We had picked up some chicken from the grocery store so we got home, ate, got Johnny to bed, and we were both too exhausted to DTD. I took a shower and went to sleep. Johnny climbed in bed with us in the middle of the night, and even then I had a pretty good sleep. 6am I woke up on my own and noticed I had the same weird pain in my belly that I had the morning before as I was laying there so I got up and realized I was having contractions. They were different from BH and didn’t really hurt that much. So I got up, texted my mom and the contractions seemed to pick up a bit. I got on contraction master and sat on my ball just timing the contractions and texting my mom back and forth. She was insisting I drive to Tucson, I didn’t want to get ahead of myself. But the contractions were pretty consistent being 4-5 minutes apart and lasting a minute long. It was such a different feeling than I had ever felt during my labor with Johnny. With Johnny, it was all in my back. This time, it was very low it got to be pretty intense pressure all on my bottom. I felt as if my pelvis was splitting in two by the time I was in the hospital and it never went anywhere else but low. Luckily I had packed the weekend before (talk about procrastinating), but I had mine, baby, and Johnny’s stuff to get together. I kept telling John to get his things too, but he waited till the last minute. I got Johnny some breakfast, got him and myself dressed and John packed the car and his things. I had no desire to eat or drink anything. I tried drinking a couple of sips of water on the drive, but I just didn’t want it. We were on our way at about 9am. We got to John’s sisters’ house at about 10:30, my mom right behind us. His sister lives right down the road from the hospital. Johnny was to stay with her while I had the baby and the plan was to labor at her house for as long as I can. By the time we got in and Johnny settled. My mom was trying to find her house, John was trying to go find some food, and I just wanted to be on the toilet. When I wasn’t in the bathroom, I was on her couch trying to work through the contractions and just be comfortable, but she was just sitting on the other couch looking at me and I just didn’t feel comfortable. I was in a lot of pain and just wanted to get in the hospital. I was thinking I was at least half way, hopefully more. So we went towards the hospital. The doctor’s office is attached to the hospital so we went in there first. They told me to go straight to the hospital. So we walked around the corner to the L&D entrance. I was in a lot more pain by then so I knew this was the real deal and was very much hoping I was pretty far along. When we got into the doors I immediately had to throw up. I hadn’t eaten or drank anything since 9pm the night before, so I was basically puking stomach acid, while being wheeled into a triage room. I had to change and get into bed and get immediately hooked up to wires. That was the worst, all I wanted to do was sit on the toilet and lying down with those stupid monitors was so uncomfortable! Every contraction I verbalized how I wanted to rip these wires off and throw them across the F-in room and I started getting sick again. A resident came in (one of the doctors in the practice, but of course none that I had ever seen before. In fact, I had seen at least 7 doctors in the group and never seen one twice) asked tons of questions and gave me a check. I was a measly 4-5 and was pretty upset. I then started telling everyone that I can’t do this without an epidural, especially being hooked to monitors. I was being admitted and there was no going back. My mom was trying her hardest to get me to focus, relax and breathe and I just couldn’t do it. Even though we took the class, John wasn’t helping/supporting me with massage and pressure that I was hoping for and it was difficult while I was sitting in bed. I was admitted into a room at about 12:00pm, my blood pressure was pretty high. They hooked me up to an IV and a catheter. Got the epidural, It took the anesthesiologist twice to do it and he got pretty testy with me because I was moving too much. It worked a little on one side but I could still feel the pain. I wasn’t peeing much at all even after two bags of fluid and I was very dehydrated! Stupid me drank tons of tea instead of water. I figured tea is made of mostly water. WRONG! So time went on, they had to keep giving me a shot of bolus every couple of hours because the epidural itself was not working, but with the bolus I felt better and my blood pressure had gotten better. About 6-7 pm they suggested breaking my water. I was very hesitant about this because I was afraid it would give me the chorioamnionitis again. They told me that getting it a second time is pretty rare and it should help things move along. So I gave in, a few hours later sure enough I started getting a fever. It was low grade for a while and warned me that they will diagnose infection once I reach 100.7. They gave me Tylenol and ice packs to try to cool me down. I was really emotional at this point. EXACT repeat of what happened with Johnny and I was just so discouraged! Few more hours later I reached 101 and said I had an infection(I’m thinking I have some kind of reaction to the epidural, even though the hospital claims there is no such thing, there is information about it on the net) but I was dilated to 9 almost 10 with a small lip. Parker’s and my heart rates and my blood pressure were still great so that was a little shed of light. Pretty soon I started getting pushing pressure that I had NEVER ever felt with Johnny. I just felt like I had to have a really bad BM, I told them I had to push. She checked and said I could push but my front pelvic bone was low and I really had to push to get him underneath it. This was the second nurse, after the most wonderful nurse. She was unfriendly, not talkative and I really wanted to kick her across the room! She refused to let me lay anyway but flat on my back to push, she was secretive about everything, I had to ask to get information about my progress. I asked her well into pushing if he had passed the bone and she was like “oh ya a long time ago”! I was pissed because I probably could have gotten into a more comfortable open position after getting his head past to finish pushing and probably wouldn’t have teared so much. I pushed for about an hour, flat on my back, dying of thirst, not really knowing what I was doing and if it was effective. Pushing was the hardest part, it did relieve me a bit from my contractions but I was out of breath, dry mouthed, had a fever and sweating like crazy and just wanted to be off my back. I wanted to give up, luckily nobody gave it a second thought but kept pushing me to keep going instead, telling me how great I was doing and I was almost there. I felt him right there, out more and more with every push. Soon people were coming in and lights were coming on and that was when I started getting my energy. I was like OMG this is really happening! With a few more pushes my baby was born from me in a way I was afraid would never happen for me. Parker Louis was born on April 14 at 11:17PM. He was 7lbs 4oz and 20 inches long. Over a lb lighter than Johnny. I reached for him, and they took him the other way. I was so upset and figured they were cleaning him off and going to bring him right back. Nope! They initially told me I had a small tear, but then said it was worse than they thought. It was a second degree bilateral labial tear, the doctor was pissed at the resident for not doing an episiotomy. It took 30 minutes to stitch and get the placenta out and still not holding my baby. I said all I want is my baby and to eat and drink! They kept telling me not much longer. Meanwhile, the baby was having hard time breathing and I had no idea. I was so upset that something was going on with him and I was stuck there getting painfully stitched up. He got some fluid in his lungs and most likely needed to cry it out, but it was still scary and had to take him to the NICU. I had to recover for an hour and a half, where I got to eat and drink finally. I wanted John to be with Parker the whole time. Luckily he was cleared of an infection and didn’t have to have IV and antibiotics. I got to see him on the way to my room and right when I got there the nurse said she JUST fed him a bottle. I teared up right away and was so pissed! I had told that SAME EXACT nurse that I was breast feeding him! They said in a couple of hours he will be in the nursery and I can go feed him then, which I did and after that he was in my room the whole time. I had to be on antibiotics for 48 hours. I had planned on having my baby and going home the next day. After all, I did have another baby waiting for me that I had never been a night away from. The second day I felt like I was hit by a bus, my entire body was sore, I felt flu-like because of the pain, I had to be in the hospital for 3 days. I was very emotional- I remember questioning how is this any different than a surgery? I was at an obvious low because there is so much that is so better than having a c-section, but also a few things that just brought me down. John is not the type of person who can stay put in a place so he was on edge, and that was upsetting me. I was getting no sleep –taking care of baby and feeding/changing him. When he went poo, he really went and they had us use wash cloths as wipes and it never ended. It just got very intense and my post-partum blues were much worse this time. It was just because of what I had to deal with in the hospital. I had a plan and wanted things to go a certain way and it didn’t go right. I got a nurse concerned enough to call me after I got home because I was so distressed and balling my eyes out after changing a diaper. I can’t believe I didn’t demand that my baby be with me and get on the breast right away. As soon as I got home, things got much better and I haven’t been so crazy. We are breastfeeding very well. I am even pumping a supply and freezing for when I go to work. He has not gotten a bottle since that one in the hospital and I haven’t had any attachment problems. With Johnny, I had to use a nipple guard for the first couple of weeks, but even then we did very well and I feel very fortunate in that department. I am having a lot of weird sensitivity issues in my V-area. I suspect a really bad YI after all the antibiotics I was pumped and still swollen. I have an appt tomorrow.
Johnny just constantly wants to love and kiss on his brother! He is definitely nothing but sweet towards his brother, with us, not so much. He doesn’t listen and touches everything he knows he isn’t supposed to. It sure is a battle right now, but hoping it will get better soon. So there it is! Sorry it’s very long. I immediately said after the birth that I don’t know if I can do this again. It will certainly be something to think about in more detail than before. I can’t deal with the hospital environment and I can’t deal with the pain. Doubt there is a middle ground in my certain situation, but who knows maybe a few years down the road I will be up for the challenge again. I am confident that each go-around will be much better than the last, we learn and are aware of more things after each experience, but will it be the perfect way that I want it and can be totally happy with it? For now, I am just happy that I got my vaginal birth and enjoying my beautiful boys!
Oh, Robin, I'm so glad you had your VBAC, but I'm so sorry it was still not your ideal birth experience. I'm sorry they made you stay in bed on the monitor. That really sucks that you had a fever again after they broke your water. I'm sorry you had a nurse who didn't talk to you enough and made you push flat on your back instead of letting you sit up or lye on your side. I'm really upset that they didn't tell you why they weren't letting you hold your baby and the most angry about the nurse giving him a bottle! I'm glad you've still been ale to BF after that.
I can totally relate to the "this is supposed to be better than the cesarean" thing. My mommy parts hurt like heck for 2 straight weeks. I was more mobile after the cesarean than I was after the VBAC. Go figure.
I'm sorry it wasn't the positive experience you desired and deserved. If you do decide to have more kiddos, though, having the VBAC under your belt should seriously decrease the hoops you have to jump through to have a vaginal birth again. I would hope, anyway. Maybe even a homebirth is in your future.
I'm so sorry things did not go as you had planned and hoped for. I was getting frustrated for you just reading your birth story. I'm going to have to make sure I tell my doula and dh to get me a new nurse if the one we get is not supportive or helpful. I've already put dh on high alert with our baby when it comes to not being by my side and not getting a bottle.
I'm so glad you got your vbac and I wish the experience had been better for you. Like chevylfan said, maybe you'll have another and it will be a much better experience or a home birth
Molly & Elton 10/2/04
Mary 5/24/06, Celia 6/9/09
Baby #3 due 6/21/13