Happy 36 weeks!!! Welcome to your lodge!
Happy 36 weeks!!! Welcome to your lodge!
I'll work on something today for an intro... hope you'll all be able to stand me - I tend to write novels!
We are a captive audience - don't hold back!!! :-)
How does this pg compare to the pg with Justin? I know you've been through a lot of bureaucratic BS with healthcare, but are you feeling pretty good?
Yay!! Welcome to your lodge! I for one can't wait to read your intro, I love getting to know you all better!
Congrats on your lodge Alicia. I'm with you on the novel writing skills - I like you even more now :giveflower:
welcome to your lodge!
OK, I'm going to split this up into two or three parts because I have a LOT to say ;)
Part I – A little background and why I want a NCB
I met my first husband way before we became involved. He was a friend of my live-in BF. The BF and I got together when I had just turned 18 and quickly became emotionally abusive. By the time I was 21, he had turned physically abusive and I was looking for a way out. Well, DH#1 had moved to Los Angeles around this time, and after a pretty bad evening with BF, I called and begged him to let me come stay with him until I could get on my feet. He knew what was going on and agreed. SO, off I went with $20, a plane ticket, and one small duffel bag in the middle of the night.
After a couple of months, DH#1 and I began to have feelings for each other and we got married. I got pg with DS a couple of years later. I didn’t have internet and was limited to reading the regular pg books. At 36 weeks, I was dilated 5-6cm and my OB did a sweep w/o my knowledge. That night, I had this stuff on the toilet paper and totally freaked out! :eek: I called the service and when she finally called back, she was laughing and told me she didn’t think I'd mind. I was mad, but figured this was just one of those “normal” things. A week later, my water broke. I called the OB, as she requested, to let her know that she should expect us at the hospital sometime that night or the next day. As I was on the phone, my contrax went from none to one on top of the next – they were so fast that it was impossible to time them. We ended up leaving for the hospital right then and by the time we got there (15-20 min.) I was fighting the urge to push.
No one believed that I was ready to push, so everything went really slow. My OB even asked me to wait to push until she did a c-sec on another patient! That wasn’t happening, so she strapped my legs into the damn stirrups and told me to push in a not-so-nice way. I hated feeling so helpless. I felt that I just had to sit up, squat, or something else. But I saw forceps and did not want those things inside me, so I just started pushing. After only three pushes, I had DS on my belly! The OB then proceeded to pull (hard) on the cord to get the placenta out so she could go do her c-sec. It hurt so badly, and my body was in shock from DS coming so fast. I ended up bleeding for 8 weeks. DS was perfect! He took to BFing easily and I had only mild discomfort from sore nipples and engorgement. Oh, and when I went back at 10 wks. Pp, my OB had moved to FL w/o any notice. Wonder what happened…
Fast-forward a year and a half… DH had this small sore on his head behind his left ear. It was very sensitive to the touch. As he had no insurance, he went to an urgent care and was told it looked like cancer and he needed to be seen by an MD for a biopsy. So, we paid out-of-pocket for an appt. DH had squamous cell carcinoma of the skin and, though it was a slow-moving cancer, it looked as if it had been there for a while. It needed to be removed right away. A simple office visit wouldn’t do it, as the cancer tends to embed itself, so he had to apply for Medicaid and find a hospital to take him. It took a year and a half!
VERY long, twisted story (I'll spare you the details). DH finally got the surgery by a plastic surgeon (no oncologist!) I had done my research and knew what should have been done in surgery and suspected that it wasn’t. DH felt really good again for about three months, when he began to have pain again. The Dr. told him that it was just from staples that had not been removed and took them out. The pain wouldn’t go away and the surgery site became infected and refused to heal. A year later, he was still in pain and the surgery site was a mess. Turns out the cancer had never been fully removed and was now growing into his skull. No one knew how to “fix” it this time. So, we moved to MI (just 45 min. north of where we originally lived) so he could be seen at U of M, where my stepmother had been an oncology nurse. They did the best they could to make him comfortable and even tried a few rounds of chemo to slow the cancer. On Sept. 7, 2005, he finally lost his battle. DS was able to say good-bye to his dad and has handled his death pretty well for such a little guy.
I was completely turned off by the medical establishment after my two major encounters with it – DS’s birth and DH’s cancer. I swore that if I ever had to deal with Drs again, I'd be well informed of everything – procedures, patients’ rights, etc.
Oh, had my 36 week appt today. Saw the "good" OB. I let him check me one last time before labor and I'm 3-4cm. 70%eff. and LO is engaged and low (forgot to ask what station.:() He didn't think I'd make it to next week's appt., but we'll see. The longer LO bakes, the better! I'm betting my $$ on the 8th or 10th of Nov.
OK, back this afternoon with the rest of this epic tale and some pics.
What a story. I'm so sorry to hear of your DH#1 passing and his terrible fight. I don't have a lot of faith in the medical establishment of America my self, and I hope you get a much better birth this time around. I look forward to following your story.
Part II - DH#2 - Woody and “Leonard”
Woody and I met similarly to how DH #1 and I met. He was a friend of DH #1. After his death, I was very alone. I was no longer on speaking terms with my mother and really had no friends, as I had focused on taking care of DH #1 since we moved to MI. Woody really helped me out by trying to get me to crawl out of my shell. He goaded me into going to parties of friends who knew DH #1, etc. After a while, we started dating – very slowly. Things progressed and we moved in together. By the end of last year, we decided to get married. So, on Leap Day this year, we “leapt.” We figure that about a week later, LO was conceived.
I have to break in here to say the DH is a great step-dad to DS. DS looks up to him and is comfortable talking with him about everything under the sun, including his impending puberty, girls, drugs, etc. And they both have the same twisted, sarcastic sense of humor, so hearing weird stuff around here is the norm!
All right… DH decided that as soon as our 20-week u/s revealed the sex of out LO, we’d find a name that we knew his parents would hate to call LO instead of “him” or “the baby.” So, he picked “Leonard.” DH’s mom absolutely hates it and FIL makes this hilarious face every time he hears it. LOL! DH told them that we wouldn’t be calling LO Leonard, but they just don’t believe him…
We had a slight scare of placenta previa around 17 weeks and more recently, there was concern about IUGR. The previa turned out to be a tech that wasn’t quite finished with her training – WHEW! And the u/s we had a few weeks ago showed that, while Leonard is small, he’s fine (and has lots of hair!)
I remembered reading Birth Without Violence when I was pg with DS and decided to check it out again a few months ago. I cried through the whole thing and memories of DS’s birth began to come back to me. I don’t know if I repressed them or if the shock to my body made everything fuzzy. He definitely didn’t have it easy. He got all the pokes & prods that are regularly done. I began to research all things birth-related in earnest and found that what I wanted was a NCB. Since then, I have felt more in control and informed than ever! I can’t wait to have Leonard in the best way possible for both him and me.
Most of you know that DH's dad has cancer - it's at stage IV and he's not likely going to make it past the new year. I had worried about DH being with his dad when I went into labor, as he opted to skip chemo, but he chose to do chemo until Leonard gets here so he can meet him and DH can feel more comfortable staying home with me rather than being torn between seeing his son born and saying good-bye to his dad.
If you made it to here – CONGRATS!!!
(Pics are gonna have to wait – I need a nap before it’s time to cook dinner.)
Alicia, I'm so sorry to hear about DH#1. And what a traumatic experience with DS's birth. Big hugs.
Woody seems like a great guy. I just realized - you're going to be totally outnumbered in that house! Let the estrogen reign supreme!!
XY = 3, XX = 1