August 26, 2008 at 5:43pm
8 lbs. 10 oz.
21 inches long
I woke up at 2:30am on the 26th with what I thought was a back ache. I tried stretching, getting up and moving around, and nothing seemed to be helping. It crossed my mind for a brief second that it could be the start of my labor, but I was doubtful at the same time, because I was already 8 days past my due date, and convinced I was going to have to be induced that night. Soon after I laid down again to go back to sleep, I realized that there seemed to be a pattern going, and quietly got out of bed, leaving Jeff to sleep, to go to the living room to time them. Contractionmaster.com quickly became my friend!!
At about 3:30am, Jeff came to check on me, and asked if I was ok. I was, but didn’t mention to him that I was beginning to think I was in labor. At about 4:30am, I was definitely convinced I was in early labor as my contractions were about 5-6 minutes apart, lasting about a minute. I went to use the bathroom, and on my way back to the living room, leaned over and kissed Jeff, telling him that he wouldn’t be going to work today, and that we would be having a baby. He popped up like I just told him we won the lottery.
Contractions started to get to about 2-3 minutes apart, lasting about 1 minute and 30 seconds. I called my midwife to let her know, and she said that we should head into the hospital. Well, I wasn’t ready to leave the comfort of my birthing ball, and wanted to stay home longer, especially to tell the kids good-bye. I made it to about 6:00am, but then started to get nervous, because they were coming stronger, and closer, yet. My mom wanted to be called when I went into labor, so I called her, but couldn’t talk because of the contractions, so Jeff told her what was going on, and she told him that she was going to head up soon. As most will remember, I had conflicting feelings about her being there…but at that point in time, I wanted her there.
We got to the hospital about 6:40am, and got into triage. The nurse on call said I was 4 cm, and effaced, but needed to lay in the bed for at least 20 minutes to get a “clean” tape of her heart beat and my contractions. FINALLY, after about 30-40 minutes, they took me to our room, and admitted me. YAY! We really were going to have a baby today!!
I quickly asked for a birthing ball, and to change into my own clothes. I felt so constricted in those stupid gowns they give you, so I opted to labor in a really loose tank top and my panties. I sat and bounced and rocked on my birthing ball, and really became lost during my contractions, and then right after them. I really, then, at that point, understood what labor land was like, and really enjoyed it.
My second favorite midwife, we found out, was on call that day. She came in about 9:00 to check me, and confirmed I was 4 cm, still! I thought for sure I would have been more, but I didn’t let it get me down, and returned to my zone.
At about 11:30am, she came down again to check on me, because she had been watching me on the monitors from upstairs in her office, and couldn’t read what my contractions were doing. This was because my awesome nurse, didn’t make me or tell me, that I needed to be in the bed when she put the monitors on me for 20 minutes out of every hours, and believed that she was there for me, and that I could do what I wanted. LOVED HER!!! So, she would put the monitors on me while I was on the birth ball, but they wouldn’t pick up like they would have, had I been in the bed. So, Shana, my midwife checked me again, and confirmed I was 5, and real stretchy. She said that she had been watching me, when she first came in the room, and knew that I was working really hard, but seemed like my body needed a kick to get it going a bit more. She gave me the option of either breaking my water, starting me on a very slow dose of pit, walking the halls, laboring in the tub, or doing nothing. She said that by doing nothing, it could continue to drag on and on with no progress. Breaking my water would bring Callie’s head to my cervix, helping to dilate, and I said no to the pit as soon as she mentioned it. As far as walking the halls, there were 20 babies born that day, so I wasn’t in the mood to entertain the families in the halls. And the tub…well, the thought of sitting in there, didn’t not sound good to me. Jeff and I talked about it, and the most natural of the suggestions was breaking my water. So, that’s what we did. And by God, that was one of the worst exams I had had. My bag was evidently made of steel, and it seemed like it took forever for her to snag it. She finally did, but there wasn’t a lot of water…till I stood up. LOL
Contractions picked up even more so almost immediately and I went deeper into my zone, but it got to the point that I felt like I couldn’t stay on top of them and instead of relaxing, my body was becoming completely rigid.
Jeff was totally amazing the entire time, and left my side only once or twice. The first time was for him to scarf down a sub my mom had brought back for him, and the second was to use the restroom, which was in our room, and took him all of about 4 seconds. I can’t say enough how happy and proud of him I was, and how he advocated for me, when I was out of it. Together we talked about what else we could do. I was getting so tired, and after being checked again, with no progress, we decided on a light epidural. It took about 30 minutes or so for the anesthesiologist to get in my room, and get it all set up, and as soon as she was done, I finally felt my body relax. I could still feel the contractions, thankfully, but not near the intensity.
She was done with the epidural at about 2:30. Around 5:00 I started to feel that familiar pressure, and movement I felt with DD, and mentioned it to my nurse. And at 5:25, when Shana checked me again, I received strict orders NOT to push…baby’s head was RIGHT there, and she needed to get ready. Crazy… totally crazy.
As many will remember, I had some conflict on who I wanted to be at the birth, and also my conflict about pictures. My mom had been there all day, and was absolutely awesome, and I felt really comfortable with her there, and wanted her to be there for the birth. I asked if she wanted to stay, and with a huge smile and tears in her eyes, said of course, and could she take pictures? Problem solved!!
I requested a mirror, and for anyone who hasn’t watched a birth, especially the birth of their child, I HIGHLY recommend it!! An amazing sight for sure.
I was told to push when I felt the need, and I did just that. Three contractions later, her head was trying to crown, and my midwife was doing her best to stretch me, because I didn’t want an episiotomy, but stretching me was not an option. She said I had a tight “band” and that she needed to cut me…just a little, she promised. I agreed, because, also, at the same time, that couldn’t find Callie’s heartbeat. As soon as she snipped, Callie was out within 2 contractions, along with a LOT of meconium, so I’m glad she gave me the episiotomy.
They laid her on my chest, and it was the most amazing sight ever. She was having a hard time starting to cry, so they took her to the cart, right next to me, and got her crying, and gave her right back to me. Her eyes were wide and curious, and she had such a peaceful look on her face. It hasn’t left yet.
In the beginning, I had planned for a totally med free birth. Instead, I ended up with an epidural and an episiotomy. I have no regrets for either one, as I made the decisions, and no one told me what I was going to do. I went into labor with a mindset that things can and do change, and they sure did, but I know it was my terms…no one else’s. THAT is an empowering feel, to me.
And my husband. Wow. If I could have just have frozen time, and save the look of pure amazement and joy on his face, I would. Thankfully, they are forever embedded in my mind. I knew that he was going to be great, but he went above and beyond, and the feeling of falling in love with him all over again with him, takes my breath away.
OUr birth Story...
well it's taken me awhile, 16 days to get quiet enough in my head to write down our experience....
I went into labour on August 23rd, I was crampy all day, and late that evening, I lost my mucus plug and had bloody show and the cramps became regular, reasonably strong contractions, which quickly came to be 7 minutes apart.
I timed them and rested, until early Sunday , August 24th morning and then decided we better go in and get checked, since I was GBS positive. We were admitted and started the penacillin. When my doctor came in later to check me, things weren't progressing at all, so she sent me home to wait for things to move along some... By about 9pm on Sunday night the contractions were between 3 and 5 mins apart and very strong, I couldn't speak at all through them and was in considerable pain. My Mom insisted we go back to the hospital, and we decided it was best. This time I was re-admitted and they didn't send me home again.. they checked me and again there was no progress they hooked me up to a monitor and gave me morphine for the pain in my back. I was due to be induced that Monday morning. Monday morning came I hadn't slept at all... I was in so much pain, however my induction was bumped for a patient with pre-E who had to be induced immediately. Welcome to the small towns of Nova Scotia, where there aren't enough staff to have two inductions going on at once. Monday passed, contractions were consistently 2-3 minutes apart and very strong, but still with no progress.... I was pretty exhausted. My father even looked into taking me to another hospital as I was in so much pain... with no end in sight.
They gave me demoral and gravol to see if I could get some relief. This provided no relief at all for the pain in my back which increased through the night. The nurse checked me frequently but felt there was no progress.
Finally on Tuesday morning at 6:30 am... the OB who was due to induce me showed up in my room... he brought the Prostin gel with him to start the induction, as his other patient was not progressing at all. However, when he checked me, FINALLY I was dilated to 3cm and 60% effaced. He stripped my membranes and told the nurses to move me to L&D. At 7 am he broke my water and started pitocin.
After my membranes were ruptured and with the pitocin on board things started to progress and get very real very quickly. The contractions were very strong and soon I was unable to stop from pushing...
Initially there was no sign of meconium in the amniotic fluid, but as the day progressed there began to be meconium in the fluid that leaked out. So a respiratory therapist was put on stand by for the delivery. The pain was very intense and I was exhausted. Fentenol provided no relief and I used alot of laughing gas.
At 6:27 pm, after more than 60 hours Kaitlyn finally arrived. She was 9lbs and 4oz. I had a very severe tear and bled considerably. It took the OB more than an hour to finish sewing me up.
the Labour didn't go at all as I had hoped, anticipated... and I have alot of anxieties surrounding the events of those days... But Kait is here and safe and i'm on the mend. slowly building up my blood count and healing. The OB says i'll likely have to have some reconstruction down there , however for now we'll see how things heal.
She is worth every moment of pain... but it isn't an experience I would chose to relive.
Born Sept. 4th 4:13 a.m.
+++Yes this is LONG but it was a 40hour process bear with me+++++
We got home from the hospital today and I realized I need to do this now or never because details are already slipping and I don't want to forget a thing!
First I have to say that this was probably the most incredible experience of my life and am still in shock of the events of the last several days.
Ok, so as we all know labor hadn't even teased me at 42 weeks when my cut off point was. So 7am Tuesday Sept. 2nd Blair, Mom, and I arrived at the hospital for my induction. Around 8am they called me back to get me admitted and "hooked up" to the monitors, got a hep.lock, and that (hateful) heartbeat monitor thingy that they put on your figertip. The nurse that was working with me informed me that she was training to be a midwife and she was going to be done in December. When she saw my birth ball she knew I was going to be her patient. I was instantly relieved and excited and my OB had regained my faith in her (because she requested Mary specifically for me). Also, during this admittance time a resident came in and informed me they had to do a ultrasound to check how big my big baby was (little did I know what this would set into motion but what can I say?). She did the ultrasound and couldn't get an accurate measurement...why? because August's femer and head measurements were SO big they were outside the peramaters of the machine. This could have freaked me out...but I decided that I didn't think she knew what she was doing and to not be afraid of ...BIG BABY. They checked me...still no change 1cm 50% -3station. Blair and Mom joined me and we sat around waiting for the Cervadil.
1pm. Cervadil administered and I was told that I wouldn't be checked again until 1am if I hadn't progressed we would administer more Cervadil. Totally happy and on board with this plan. Then started the waiting. I don't really remember what we did at this time...I know Blair and Mom played cards and I joined them for awhile. Around 7pm I started having VERY mild steady contractions. We were keeping track of them for fun but then stopped because I didn't feel like focusing on them. Mom left for the night...and Blair and I settled in for a long night. The hours ticked by finally around midnight I started feeling contractions that I wanted Blair to rub my back through. At five min. before "check time" I was having a contraction and I felt a very tiny, subtle *pop*. I got up to go to the bathroom...no trickle but pink and dark blood bits in the toilet stool.
1 a.m. Time to get checked. Resident checked me...no change except when she checked me an bunch of fluid squirted out. We had determined my water had broken and they administered another round of Cervadil. Shortly thereafter contractions were coming on that I had to focus on... Blair and I got into a routine where I would stand up and bend over and he would stand next to me and we would chant...ummmmmmmRelax over and over until the contraction was gone. At this point we decided to call the Doula.
Come to find out....SHE"S in another birth!!! she called my cell phone ceveral times but we didn't have reception. But, her husband got a hold of her and the mama had just given birth and she really didn't want to miss my birth so she came straight over. When she got there it was 3am and contractions were coming on stronger and stronger.
4a.m got into the shower. This is where I took a real turn. Blair was spraying water on my back and contractions were really hurting ...I was probably in there for a good 45min when I felt like I had to puke. I dryheaved...and Doula came in to check on me and be with me because I really had to vocalize through these contractions. **Doula tells me later I was having the equivilent of transition like contractions at this point and she thought I would be going...FAST**
5:30am get checked. 4cm 100%effaced -3station. With this news I was happy because at least I was making progress...and come to find out I had lost the Cervadil during one of my intense contractions in the bathroom so I was laboring on my own.
At this point because August was still -3 station and I was feeling my contractions mostly in my hips we decided that maybe he was in a bad position so it was time to pull out some tricks. The best one? One the bed on all fours, front half lower than the back, doula with a piece of fabric wrapped around my legs...when a contraction came on I would get up and rest my legs against the fabric and just moan as loud as I could through them.
9am checked...6cm, 100%, 0 station!! wahoo!! it worked...
So we kept going...changing positions as much as possible...then I spent at least 2 hours on the birth ball and during contractions would go down on one knee and rock back and fourth between them.
11am checked...7cm, 100%, 0 station. This is when it got interesting. The nurse started prepping the room for delivery and I was excited. I was also getting exhausted and really having a tough time getting through the contractions. Went back to the bathroom to work through contractions and was having a very hard time focusing... They were so strong and I would get pushing sensations at the peak. After 3 hours of this I was beginning to wonder how much longer I could go on. I was beginning to fear each contraction and do everything possible to resist.
6:30pm 7cm, 100%, -3 station. Baby had moved back up and I hadn't progressed. The head resident checked me and basically said I had two options...because the contractions monitor had not picked up a single contraction since the beginning of labor they wanted to insert a internal monitor to see if my body is contracting properly and enough to get this baby out...but also because it's such a big baby...it could be that I'm contracting just fine and he's stuck. So, if I'm not contracting properly than they wanted to administer pitosin. I knew it was coming. If i was contracting properly and he wasn't decending than c-section was in my future.
So, basically I could either get the internal monitor which confined me to the bed or just go straight to pit. which would confine me to the bed and make what was already almost unbearable, worse. Or! the other ever so lovely option, c-section. I wanted to see if the pit would do the job because all along my doula and I had been working at trying to get this boy in the proper position, seriously, we tried everything under the sun. So, we just needed to know if he was going to come out or not. But, I knew I couldn't handle anything stronger, and so I requested an epidural and the internal monitor...then pit if my contractions weren't doing the job. (I already knew they weren't...) This next half an hour was probably the hardest because they put the monitor in and I was confined to the bed and the contractions were so strong and painful up there I could barely keep it together. Finally after about 4 or 5 doozy's I heard them prepping for the epi. They sent my support team out and I had the strongest worst contractions of the last 19 hours back to back I lost so much water and I think I pissed all over. Finally it ended and they were telling me that I couldn't move if I get another contraction...I didn't know how I was going to do it but somehow I managed to keep it together and they worked so fast. I felt relief immediatly and I knew I had made the right decision...if I was going to let my body relax and get to the final point this was the only way. (It was 8:30pm at this point) The nurse was monitoring me and we discovered my contractions were so irregular...I would have a major working one followed by a tiny unproductive one. I wasn't surprised...I knew that was what I had been experiencing for the last five hours.
I have to mention from this point on everything that was discussed with me was basically like we are going to do this and let you try and progress but we are also prepping you for a c-section. Because at this point they wanted to put in a cathater. because...if I go for a c-section I will need one anyway. I concented to all of it...there was in the back of my mind the knowledge that this baby could just never decend and a huge possibility that c-section was inevitable.
Anyway, my support team came back in and they were awesome and just so happy to see me relax for the first time in 21 hours.
OK, so then the head nurse came in to discuss with me what might happen if I do dialate and get to the point of delivering. Everyone was worried about the size of the baby so they wanted to explain what they do when the baby's sholders get stuck and they also wanted to inform me that because of this (and the fact that I had had to have insulin throughout labor) there were going to be at least NINE people in the room while I was delivering. (3 pediatricians, the OB, two residents, a student, and two nurses). I said ok...but knew I needed to process all of this because I would never get through this and deliver this baby if I mentally was stuck on the harm I might be doing by attempting to deliver vaginally.
In the mean time the pit was creating consistant contractions and I started feeling pressure in all the right places. This is were time seems to accelerate because in my memory all of a sudden I was having super strong contractions (that weren't painful) but making me crazy from the insane amount of pressure and tightening. I was checked and informed that I was 10cm with a lip and to not push yet. This was 4.5 hours after the epi and about 4 hours after pit started. I was having a hard time not pushing through these contractions. Doula and nurse were by my side the whole time. Not less than 20 min later they checked me and I was 10 cm and was told I could push. The resident was trying to count me through them but I had nothing of it...she left and I got on all fours to try and focus and learn how to be the most productive. I did that for awhile then I went on my right side with Blair holding one leg and me holding on to a towel that the nurse was also holding on to with doula at my head reminding me to relax my face and focus...then we flipped to the other side doing the same thing ...I think I was making progress but honestly I have no idea...I was so internal and not paying attention to what people were saying. Honestly I couldn't believe I was trying to push my baby out and wondered occasionally what might later ensue. Then my doula suggested I lay flat on my back and when i needed to push grab a hold behind my knees and pull myself up. So I did it...and that's when I could feel progress. I knew if I just pushed as though I was trying to get the largest poop ever out... and then not allow it to go back up at all I was probably doing something and I could tell by the background noise that I must have been doing something. I briefly opened my eyes and saw all of these people filing in and I remember thinking..."WHY are they here already!!! They are just going to be sitting around waiting...I'm not even close". Then someone asked me if I wanted to see the head...I think I said no...I couldn't break one moment of concentration. Then THE RING OF FIRE! wooza!!! I think i even said..."ring of fire!! ring of fire!! no no it hurts it hurts". The ob said head is 75% out and Blair said come on honey give it all you got!!...I pushed the rest of the head out (with I swear 5 pairs of hands on my vjay jay) I said a little prayer and knew that this was the defining moment where we'll see if I could handle a big baby...pushed again and his sholders slid right out!!! After 3 hours of pushing...I was in total utter SHOCK and ELATION. He went right to my belly and was crying and just amazing. I know I said over and over, "I did it, I can't believe it, I did it!!!"
So, the dr was doing her thing and I kept asking if I tore...I was dying to know...and the dr. herself was in shock...she was like, "It looks like I will have to give you two stitches...honestly for a first time mom going post dates with a 9lb 11oz baby to have only two stitches is absolutly amazing...this NEVER happens." After everyone left and the nurse was doing her thing she sat down and looked me right in the eye and told me, "honestly, erica, everyone...absolutly everyone believed you were headed for a c-section...every nurse, every doctor, every resident, every student...everyone. You proved them wrong you are a strong woman!!"
I felt so amazing after that...I labored HaRD for 20 hours with no drugs...I feel I made the best decision I could to get my baby out and I don't regret a thing. I know that if I hadn't done all the research I could and if I didn't have my doula and husband on board I wouldn't have left this labor feeling such a sense of accomplishment and strength.
So on September 4th at 4:13am 40 hours after the induction started and 28 hours after water breaking and being in labor August Emerson was born. This baby is truely amazing. Day one he was lifting his head up to observe the world and looking at us straight in the eye when we spoke to him. Everyone couldn't get over this guy and some nurses determind he looks like such an old soul.
Last edited by ejf123; 09-13-2008 at 10:28 PM.
This took me 7 hours to write. DH and I cried, and you may too, but know all turned out well in the end.....
Delilah Rose’s Birth Story
She was due Aug 26th, or 28th, or September 1st, depending on who you asked. Delilah did not come on any of those dates. An induction that would never come was scheduled for Monday September 8th 2008.
Saturday morning, September 6th, I went for acupuncture. By early afternoon contractions were 8 to 10 minutes apart. Our support person arrived but the contractions were not progressing. The acupuncturist came late that afternoon and while she was about to place the first needle, I felt dizzy and asked for my blood pressure to be checked. Given my previous blood pressure checks on Thurs and Fri, which were high at 130/90, it was disappointing, not surprising, and scary to find that it was 140/104. A call to my doula who spoke with my doctor sent us straight to the hospital. I had pregnancy induced hypertension. I had lost my homebirth a month before, and now there would be no laboring at home at all.
But before we left the acupuncturist gave us a beautiful send off gift of a song, she sang about the health and safety of mother and baby, a beautiful blessing to take with us. We would need every note, as it turned out.
We arrived at Sutter at 8pm on Saturday and I was checked in to triage. At this point my blood pressure was back down to a high but healthy level and an internal exam revealed that I was 2cm dilated and 50% effaced. The contractions had gotten closer together and were coming every 5 to 8 minutes apart. I was then shown into the room I would labor in for the next 29 ½ hours. We set about putting out my small kwan yin statue to focus on, three small posters: one of elephants because they are strong, beautiful and when birthing labor in community, one of geese because they never let each other falter and trade off support and leader positions, and one with phrases I would read over and over like a mantra:
“There is Only Now”
“Our little girl is on her way.”
The doula arrived and told me that if she, as a midwife, had a patient only that far progressed, she would send them home. This really hurt my feelings. Not because of the lack of progress, but because I was both relieved to finally be in labor and irritated because it was not my choice to be there this early in labor in the first place.
We waited. I couldn’t sleep, regardless of the instruction of my doula to do so. This was no surprise, since I had had insomnia and hadn’t slept in months. She kept telling me to sleep. It was getting very frustrating and I felt like I had paid her all this money to take her advice and couldn’t. I was sure I was letting her down. I couldn’t sleep.
By around noon Sunday, I was fully effaced and only 3cm. I consented to have my waters broken and they gushed out in warm pulses. There was meconium, a bad sign that Delilah had already had her first bowel movement in utero and may have ingested it. They added an internal fetal monitor and thank goodness her heartbeat remained strong. I was told, “Your baby will be born today.” It was so sunny out, and I wanted to believe them. Time passed.
Suddenly, Delilah was at +2 and I was only 4 cm. The urge to push was unbearable, and Delilah stayed at +2 and 4cm for hours. My support person, who was a good friend of mine, and I became as one. She stared into my eyes that were filled with fear and pain and helped me keep my tones low, to smooth the strain from my face, to breathe and blow when all I wanted in the world to do was push to relieve the excruciating pressure. I am forever in her debt and feel the closeness that resulted between us as friends is now immeasurable. She saw me through it all. My doula, husband, and support person took turns repeating “breathe in, breathe out” for the entire time, taking breaks to eat, sleep, use the bathroom. I did none of these things except use the bathroom, which I dreaded because contractions outside the tub were much harder not to push through. After three hours in the tub with no progress, I could no longer get out to pee. They said I could pee in the tub. I cried and did not want to, but lost bladder control. The conversation came up for pitocin and an epidural.
Previously, my doula and I had revisited my birth plan for no intervention and reconsidered, given the hypertension and the multiple illnesses that had plagued me from the beginning of the pregnancy. From the hyperemesis and the PUPPP to the insomnia, I hadn’t slept for more than 3 hours a night since April and labor was no exception. I was tiring quickly. The conversation about c-section was brought up and held off without my knowing it, because the doctor had faith in me. My doctor is the one that every midwife in town trusts first for the least intervention, and the number of times interventions came up and were held off is an incredible testament to her faith in the birthing power of women. Any other doctor and any other hospital would have sectioned me on multiple occasions during this process. She managed to wait out every complication and I got through them.
The doula told me pitocin, at this point, since I was already in labor, counted as augmentation, not induction. I said okay. The pain increased and I was 5, then 6 centimeters. I had to rest. The doula kept telling me to sleep and I still couldn’t. I felt like I was failing her and failing my daughter to be born and that I would go out of my mind soon. Choosing that epidural, which finally let me rest, probably helped to save both my and my baby’s lives, as it would turn out.
The next contraction came and I blessedly could not feel it. I told the anesthesiologist it made him very attractive. We laughed. I fell asleep. They turned up the pitocin to get me through contractions which intensified dilation as soon as I slept. I would find out later my blood pressure had sky rocketed and baby wasn’t handling the contractions well. Her heart beat had decelerated. The placenta would turn out to have been very old, highly calcified, and pressing on her. Again, the conversation about c-section was brought up and held off without my knowing it, because the doctor had faith in me. They had to turn the pit down and start it again at a lower dose. My husband went outside and cried, came back in, played cards with our support person and tried to breathe. I woke to be told I was 9 ¾ cm dilated. I had slept through transition! There was just a small lip of cervix left. I was so happy about that--having no idea about the other complications. I joked to my husband and support person that I just wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t give everybody “at least a little lip.” They laughed. I eventually had pain in my low back on the left hand side. It intensified, surprising me. I thought the epidural was wearing off and that frightened me. I didn’t want to feel that pain again. I was finally complete around 10:30pm. Again they said, you will have your baby today.
We didn’t know I would actively push for the next 3 hours. Baby had retreated to -1, and now I had the task of pushing through what was left of the epidural. I wanted to change positions. I’d forgotten what the doctor had to remind me of in that moment: that when you have an epidural, you lose the options of changing positions and you have to labor on your back. It took so much not to let that defeat me. They added an internal contraction monitor.
I came to realize I now had: a blood pressure cuff, IV, Epidural, oxygen monitor, oxygen mask, internal fetal monitor, internal contraction monitor, and urethral catheter to contend with during pushing. Almost every contraction brought beeping and blood pressure cuff constriction, which blew all my concentration and drove me insane. I had no idea why I was being so closely monitored. I pushed with everything I had. My doula was constantly, sternly demanding “Push. Harder. Push. Harder. Push. Harder.” As if I wasn’t. It wasn’t working. Not knowing the complications and why she was being so forceful, I got really angry. They told me use the anger to push.
I couldn’t get enough breath behind the pushes. Tucking my chin as I was instructed wasn’t helping. It would turn out later that the chin tucking instruction is given to help women tuck their pelvis upwards. Being a Middle Eastern dancer, I can isolate my body and that motion never carried to my pelvis, just made it impossible for me to properly draw breath, but they didn’t know that. I finally managed to ask what they needed, and tucked my pelvis. They finally stopped telling me to tuck my chin.
But I still couldn’t catch enough breath to push right and the doula continued demanding “Push. Harder. Push. Harder. Push. Harder.” I finally screamed at her and told them I needed encouragement, not forceful language. The doula went quiet. My support person said I was doing it, pushing out my baby. Thank Goodness. The wires and tubes kept bothering me. “Push that wire out!” chanted the doula. I finally told her I didn’t give a f*** about the wire just the baby and relief and to shut up about the wire. The longer I couldn’t breathe the more I panicked. I smacked away the oxygen mask my husband held over my face. I threw the oxygen measuring finger tip thing and tried to rip off the blood pressure cuff. I threw up. I was losing it.
They said when I threw up that it was helping. OK. I forced myself to continue to gag. I knew I could not stay on my back. I demanded they help me to a side lying position (apparently the doctor didn’t think I was capable of doing this). I lay on my left side, with my support person locking her knees against the bed and her elbows at her sides to support the dead weight of my right leg bent in the air for those hours of pushing.
The position change helped, and the epidural began to wear off. I could finally feel where to push but still couldn’t breathe. No one mentioned the word c-section to me, but it came up among the professionals again and was again warded off.
A nurse came to my side like an angel and somehow I could receive her instructions on how to catch a breath and when to breathe. It worked, and Delilah began her descent toward the vaginal opening. When she got there, my doula and doctor worked together to keep me from tearing. The doula massaged the opening and my doctor, who was a tiny woman, sat cross legged on the bed under my leg to direct Delilah’s crowning. She told me rapid-fire to “Push! Blow! Push! Blow! Push! Blow!” It was intense. I would have to say if you asked me to tell a part of labor I liked, it would be Delilah’s crowning, since I could feel it and control was so precise and finally possible. My husband was still holding the oxygen mask and throw-up basin for me. He said “I can see our baby’s head!” They told me to reach down but the angle was wrong and I couldn’t.
She crowned, not breathing. I am glad I could not see that her skin was so purple it was nearly black. My husband told me later the look on the doctor’s face was as if we had lost our little girl. The doctor told me she wasn’t breathing and I had to push her out NOW. I had come too far to lose her. I screamed and pushed. Her shoulder was stuck and the doctor couldn’t turn her. I screamed and pushed. One shoulder popped into view, but Delilah never turned to come out sideways and I pushed her straight out. And out she slid. They put her on my skin for just a moment and then the team of attendants I didn’t know were there split. The pediatric group rushed Delilah over the table prepped for her (still in our room) and my husband went with the baby. My support person and doula stayed with me. My doctor repaired a second degree tear and Delilah got the meconium suctioned from her lungs and tummy, was given oxygen, and cried and breathed. My husband tried to call out what was happening to her as it occurred, but I couldn’t follow it. I caught a glimpse of pink skin. I heard her start hollering. All the agony of pregnancy and labor and delivery finally went still, and I could begin to open my mind to the idea of family with my husband and a baby. Being present to the moment was, for the first time in ten months, not a burden or a trial, but a gift. Everyone remarked on how big she was, with a 14 inch head and 14 inch chest, 9 lbs and 20.25 inches long. Delilah was born at 1:40am, Monday morning.
My doctor sat calmly sewing me and said we wouldn’t know for five minutes if little Delilah was ok. I kept asking anyway. The sewing hurt. She also removed a very large collection of cysts that had grown on my inner labia during pregnancy.
Delilah’s apgars were 8/9. My husband was the very first thing she saw when she opened her eyes to the world. She was brought to me and we just stared at each other. Then she pooped all over Daddy and peed all over Mommy. We felt fully initiated into parenthood.
She and I are both healthy. I am mending. Delilah is beautiful. She only cries if something is bothering her, sleeps and breastfeeds well, though learning to breastfeed has been a highly emotional saga and I recommend any first time mom get help. My husband is so proud and a wonderful partner to me in taking care of her these first incredibly tough few weeks. We are all learning each other.
My little water baby, Eden Mia Bethell born 10.10pm on August 26th 2008 weighing 8lb 6oz
Wow, I cant believe she is finally here! Seems like such an epic story but such a quick one at the same time? It all happened so fast its still a bit surreal.
I'd been having strong BH for the previous 2 days but seemed to be getting nowhere with them and just expected it to go on for days. However I woke up on the morning of the 26th at about 6am with a really sharp contraction pain and immediately thought this is it! But then it was probably an hour or more before I felt anything else so convinced myself it was yet more warming up pains and would probably be a couple more days yet I had the same strong pains sporadically throughout the morning but no real pattern to them and I was coping well so didnt think it was getting any nearer. It all died off by lunchtime again so yet again thought it was another false start
Went out to get some milk in the afternoon about 3pm, and while walking I had to stop about 3 times as I had really bad cramps. It doubled me over and took my breath away so had to stop and ride it out. Went straight back home and got on my birth ball but again, nothing more Carried on as normal through the afternoon and felt fine, although with a niggly back ache. Was just about to go upstairs for a wee at around 7pm when I had to stop at the foot of the stairs with a really sharp contraction. I instantly knew this was it, the pain was so intense and I could literally feel the pressure on my cervix as it began to stretch Then began to get pains every 10-15 minutes, and although they were really strong, I was coping quite well with them so fully believed it would be a while yet before I would be having my baby.
They were still every 10 minutes by 8pm, so I rang my mum to come and sit with me, as OH was due to go to work for 9pm and I didnt want to be alone. Plus mum was going to look after my son while I was in hospital so thought it just as well to have her ready. I was still pretty calm at this point and had a good chat with mum on the phone and told her not to rush, it was just starting so would be a while yet.
How wrong was I? By the time mum got here about half an hour later, OH had just started timing the contractions properly, and as mum walked in the door it had only been one and a half minutes since the last contraction By this point, I couldnt walk or talk through the pain and was groaning and squatting with each contraction. She clearly wasnt expecting to see me like that! Mum took one look at me and shouted at OH to ring labour ward. They wanted to talk to me on the phone but I could barely get my name out!
Anyway, after a horrendous car journey - roadworks and traffic lights everywhere, we arrived at the hospital at about 9pm, while all the time fighting the urge to push this baby out! It took us a while to make it into the delivery room to be examined, as I was just crippled with each pain now and had to stop with every step. They knew I wanted a waterbirth so on examining me they immediately began running the water but warned me there might not be time I was a good 8-9cm and considering how quick things had progressed I could be having a baby any minute! WTF?!!!
Thankfully the pool filled pretty quickly and they gave me the gas &air to keep me going, all the time trying not to push OH and the midwife practically carried me to the pool and chucked me in, knowing how close I was now to giving birth The water was absolutely amazing and I felt an instant relief as soon as I got in. Got down on my knees against the side, hanging on to OH's hand for dear life, and bracing my feet against the other side behind me. Didnt feel like I needed the gas now so chucked it aside and just concentrated on breathing. No sooner had I got in position then I felt my waters pop and baby move down slightly. Started pushing almost straight away, and without any drugs I felt in total control and could feel everything as it happened. I could feel how much she was moving down with each push and that spurred me on to keep going. Took me about 4 good contractions and 3 pushes during each one to get her head out, and then with the next pain I felt her wiggle the shoulders out and then suddenly the rest of her body just slid out.
The midwife was holding her under the water while I readjusted myself to reach down and pull her up to me. She was so beautiful and just perfect!! I was still a bit shell shocked at how quickly it had all happened, from the first real pain at 7 o'clock, and Eden's arrival into the world at 10.10pm. She was so calm and just laid on my chest for about 10 minutes looking around and taking it all in. The cord was still pulsating at this point and the midwives were asking what I wanted to do about delivering the placenta, but I was in total awe of my daughter and completely undecisive about what to do so we were left to it for a few minutes and remained in the pool.
Once the cord stopped, Eden was cut from me and taken off to be wrapped up and checked over, and I was helped out of the pool. It seems quite funny looking back but the midwife was holding up the cord still hanging from me, so I didnt trip on it, and led me over to the bed as though I was on a lead! Eden was given back to me and we just lay together for what seemed like ages, waiting for the placenta to make a move. Kept getting the urge to push it out but was pretty numb and swollen so couldnt feel if I was pushing properly. After about 20 minutes of this and the placenta not coming, we decided to have the injection to expel it so it would all be over. Within a couple of minutes I felt the midwife tug on it and out it slid.
Eden was rooting around by now, so we had our first breast feed and she is a natural! Latched on straight away and suckled quite happily for a good while. We were left to it by the midwives and had our first hour alone as a family, I was just a bit sad that my son wasnt there, but nevertheless it was lovely. OH had been an absolute star throughout and I felt a huge relief for him that it had been so quick and untraumatic. It cant be any fun watching your partner in pain and feeling totally helpless. He went home shortly after while I was checked over for tears. I did have a 2nd degree tear but on examination decided not to stitch it as it was only about 1cm long and sat together nicely so should heal well without being messed with. They did give me the choice of having it stitched, but I asked them not to if they believed it would heal on its own Eden was weighed shortly after and came out at a good 8lb 6oz, she is a lovely size and not the big baby they had predicted throughout my whole pregnancy
Went off for a shower then, which was fantastic, and taken to the ward. It was about midnight by now, so had some toast and a coffee and settled in for the night. Eden slept all night except for a feed about 2am, so woke up feeling really good and totally refreshed the next morning. We were checked over during the morning and came home around lunchtime. I cant believe how good I feel, considering Ive just given birth, and Eden is an absolute dream baby, she is so good and contented. She has taken to breastfeeding really well and made things really easy for me. Little angel. Now at one month old she weighs 9lb 12oz and only wakes once during the night, I feel so, so lucky to have her and now feel complete. I have a wonderful son, a beautiful daughter and fantastic OH. And I feel fantastic, I love being a mummy again
My older boys..
Hpt on 12/24/07 at 11dpo! then one at 15dpo and one at 19dpo!
U/S AT 6 WKS 5 DAYS!(HB WAS 121BPM)
U/s at 9 wks 1 day heartbeat was 178 bpm!
First belly pic at 9 wks!
12 wk belly pic!
16 WK BELLY PIC.
20 wk belly
24 wks belly
27 wks DH
32 wks in my park rangers hat!
38 wk maternity pic shot
CHERI22/JENNYRENNY PREDICTED: DEC AND GIRL BUT.......
THE VERDICT IS IN.....
IF YOUR HAVEN'T GOT THE HINT...
ITS ANOTHER BABY BOY!!!
Pic taken at 23 wks 2 days. He measured 1lb 6oz's 55% in size!
I am straight and to a point! Yep I am gonna be a mom of 3 boys!! He looks beautiful like his brothers and he is very healthy....
the only issue we have is I have to go to a specialist to check out a spot on my placenta that could be 1 of 3 things..a blip in the placenta, a placenta abruption or a big vein.
I hope I can meet this little man full term with no complications!!!! YA FOR TEAM BLUE 3 YRS IN A ROW!!!
Of course DH is on cloud nine!!!
eta: His heartrate was 145 and he weighed 13oz's!
Update: He is doing great no placenta issues they see...the doc's say he should do just fine!
look at this handsome lil'man!
3-D AT 31 WKS
his 3-d pic, he had has hand under his dimple chin,and one over his head!(look at those beautiful lips!)
chubby cheeks !
aww a sleeping Adam!
he is wide awake and you can see his eyeball in it socket! My boy is getting growing so big!
HE IS HERE!!! Born by Cesarean Section on Aug 27th at 4:28pm.
8lbs~2 oz's 21 ins long.
2 months old
Sideshow of Addy:check to see recent pictures!
He Rolled!!!!! @ 2.5 months!
THEN ONE OF HIM ROLLING AT 3 MONTHS...BOTH WAYS!(JUST CLICK THE LINKS!)
his first solid at 4 mo's
first cup at 5 mo's
Sitting at 4.5 mo's
standing at 5ish months
first wagon ride
Last edited by Ma2bluecrew; 03-26-2009 at 08:51 AM.
Stef~Wife for 7.5 yr,Mom to 4 angels &
Riley 6, Ryan 5, Adam 3.5 & Julia 2 !
I found this in some of the later posts, and wanted to post it here so that I could visit it every so often without having to look so hard. Hard to believe this was almost 15 months ago...
Looking back on it, labor actually started Sunday (8/17) evening, but since I was a FTM I didn't know what I was supposed to be feeling. DH and I went to a friends' house. While we were there I kept having some abdominal pain and needed to shift frequently from left to rigIht side. We got home at about 10 pm and I went straight to bed. I woke up at about midnight with what I felt was my water breaking, but even at this point, the abdominal pains were not what others had explained to me a contraction would feel like. Also, the liquid in the toilet was not 100% clear, so I thought it had to be something else. I went to check the internet for more information, only to find DH still awake (he said he couldn't sleep). I found out just enough information to make me think I it was my water, but not enough to send us to the hospital. I laid back down. Until about 2 am, I was getting up every 10 - 15 minutes to go to the bathroom. It was at this point, that I was pretty sure that my water had broken. If I wasn't 100% sure, then I realized that Ethan's birthday was coming soon when I started having bright red blood loss at around 2:30. Contractions started getting pretty hard and heavy around 3 am; the worst part was how much my lower back hurt. I decided to call my parents just in case this was time. After a couple more hours of contractions, DH and I decided to drive to the hospital. On the way, DH was timing contractions, and he said they were about 3 minutes apart.
We got to the hospital at 6:30 and I got checked in. Immediate check and I was 4 cm and baby was very low, which was causing the low back pain. Everything seemed to be progressing fairly well. Contractions and the back pain HURT, but i was making it through. Around 10:30, the doctors started having some concern and highly recommended an epidural. It wasn't what I planned, but they said the baby was in some distress and thought that if I could relax a little more than things would get better for him. Of course I didn't want to put Ethan in harms way, so I agreed. Over the next 30 minutes, things did not get better and doctors recommended an emergency c-section at about 11:10. Again, not what I planned, but I wanted the best for Ethan. 21 minutes later, Ethan entered the world!
The first few minutes were frightening because he didn't cry immediately. After delivery, I found out this was the best because he had a bowel movement in utero. Sadly, I just got to see Ethan before he was swept away to the nursery for care. While in recovery, I shivered uncontrollably...again no Ethan. I didn't get to hold my son for the first time until almost 3:30.
The first few days have been somewhat rough. He has an infection and is receiving antibiotics. We've already been told that I'll go home without him It's also been hard because I have a room without him. Because of the antiobiotics, he is in the special care nursery. The neo-natologist said that really they are being overly cautious. Again, I know this is best for Ethan, but it's hard.