Congrats on making it to 38 weeks I'm glad that you have such a friendly relationship with your m/w- that must be wonderful!
Sounds like a great meeting with your m/w. Stay healthy and eat your veggies!!
I am going to do a little journaling here, I am feeling stuck.
Mostly I am so fine and comfortable with the baby taking her time. She needs to be ready and I not only respect that but am committed to it. I want a healthy baby. But I feel like I'm falling into a very deep hole that is not going to be easy to get out of.
I hope this isn't TMI, and not in a gross way, just in a personal family way. I feel like this is a good place to express these feelings that I'm having and to process them.
We are not in a good place financially. Yoram's salary does not begin to pay our bills. The only reason we have a house is b/c his parents pay our mortgage. We wouldn't even be able to afford rent anywhere right now. The reason Yoram isn't looking for a better paying job is because until I got to about the middle of my second trimester, I was working my Mary Kay business consistently. The nice thing about it is that you don't have to work too hard to be making a decent income and my income was keeping us above water. I was very close to earning my car, and I was consistently bringing in $400-600 a week. Now I'm not doing that. I can't get up in front of 6 or more people for an hour and 1/2 and do a presentation. I can do one on one appts, but obviously those don't bring in nearly the same amount. So now I've depleted my MK funds, I have a couple hundred dollars coming in per month in reorders - and thank god for that, b/c it allows me to go grocery shopping btwn Yoram's paychecks.
Over the past two days I have had to have conversations with 2 people explaining to them why I can pay them right now, and estimating a time that we will have some more money. I am trying to be positive and to know that everything will work out, but I have found myself blaming the baby for my not being able to work. And I find myself blaming myself for the financial strain on our family.
I really just am at a loss of what to do now. We can't ask my in laws for more money, and I don't want to. My parents are still putting 4 kids through school, so they don't have much left over, and we don't even have any equity in the house because we had to take an interest only loan so that it would be a reasonable amount for my in laws to pay.
I called Kim, my doula, to talk about it in terms of how I felt it was affecting my body and my birth. She was helpful in working out my feelings and getting them out in the open, but I still don't know what to do about them. She thought Yoram and I should have a conversation about what we can do right now to start knocking some of these expenses off our list of stressors. Like maybe calling our credit card companies and trying to work out a payment plan that will reduce our interest or something. And maybe the necessity for him to take a second job until I can start bringing in money again. I hate that idea, b/c I don't think I could deal with not having Yoram around and to know that he has to work extra because I can't. I know that some women work until the day they give birth and I don't know how they do it. I would even go and get some sort of hourly job if I could, but who would hire me 9 months pg?! Plus, anything I could do would require me to either be on my feet (i.e. Starbucks or retail of some sort) or to have more mental clarity than a 9 months pg woman has (like a receptionist position or something like that)
Sorry this is so long, I'm just trying to get it out of my system and try to figure out a way to work through it or somehow forget about it until it can be resolved. I am definitely going to start by making some phone calls to current customers and see if anyone needs a reorder or some new products. That might at least bring my bank account back up to a positive balance.
Thanks for hanging in there with me if you've read this whole thing, you're amazing! I'm going to put some food in my body and drink some tea.
I'm glad you got all of this out here in the open. I wish I had some advice to give you but I really don't. All I can offer is :comfort:. I just hope that you are able to find the peace of mind that you need.
One other thought: have you talked with your Rabbi? I'm not Jewish, but my mother is a Protestant minister and I know that she's helped many people with issues like yours (and she's had her own, similar issues with me and her three other children). Your Rabbi or another community leader may be able to put you in touch with other people who have gone through the same thing, or may at least be able to help you work out your feelings with God.
Personally, I believe in faith-based financial planning. I try not to spend outside my means but I believe that God will not give me trials that I am not able to handle. Currently, we're buying a house, I'm paying off my car, and I'm paying off my student loans from the bachelor's degree that I don't have yet and won't be able to finish until after the baby's born (that degree, in nursing, would greatly improve our financial situation). However, I also grew up on welfare in the slums, and I have seen money and groceries and things that I need come out of nowhere when I need it. Once my family had Christmas solely because of the generosity of others.
I hope this didn't get too preachy or anything, but I wanted to know that I definitely feel your pain and I hope that everything works out for you. :bigarmhug:
I can't remember if I've posted on your lodge or not, but I just wanted to add my support. I don't have much advice although we've walked in your shoes somewhat about 5 yrs ago when money was extremely tight. Our solution was for dh to pretty much work a second job. It was not easy at all (for both of us, him working and me at home with the kids), but it did work out. I also got a part time job.
Also, I was told and I never investigated if this was true or not so take this with a grain of salt, but to be wary of companies that deal with the cc companies to bring down your monthly payment, that it could severly affect your credit rating.
You're doing great in your pregnancy, I wish you the best homebirth possible ~hugs~
I just wanted to stop and send you my best wishes. I agree that talking to someone in your church would be a good idea, not only for spiritual reasons but also because churchs usually have ways to help you out with the things you have to have. If they can't they can point you in the right direction. As far as the cc thing is concerned I have also heard that if they do anything for you it makes your credit bad. I'll be praying for you and your family, that's something I can do from my chair and I know it helps!
Ayelet, I just want to give you hugs, and let you know that I am praying for you as well. We have definitely been there! I agree with the other ppl about talking to your rabbi or some other community leader.
The Lord will take care of you and your family no matter what, I also believe that everything happens for a reason. When I find myself discouraged or in a similar situation, it always helps when I take some time to just thank Him for everything I do have and all the times that we have been provided for.
I also wanted to say congrats on making it past 38 weeks! Woohoo, baby is fully cooked!
Ayelet, I agree with you that it is good to process your feelings instead of having them go around and around in your head. Just getting your thoughts down on paper (computer? ) will help. There have been some wonderful suggestions here - I think talking to your rabbi could be one of the most helpful ideas. We somehow manage to get through all the curves life may throw at us, so somehow you guys will get through this rough spot. Thinking of you and hoping for some avenues to pursue.
I feel for you! Finances are so hard! Especially with a new baby on the way. I know that you and your family are strong and you will get through this patch of rouch ground.
My thoughts are with you!
Hugs to you, sweetie - I've been over some pretty rocky roads financially as well, and it's never easy. I have no other advice other than what the other ladies have offered, but I can offer big hugs and a nice comfy shoulder!
Sorry about the added financial stress right now...I think your religious community is a great place to look for support, as the PP have said. It is so nice to connect with people and know that the help you receive today, you will be in a place to return another day.
Hope you are feeling well and enjoying your pool. Hang in there!
posting quickly from a hotel room in st. louis, but ayelet gave birth this morning in the tub in her house!!!! :udawoman: ayelet!!!
that's fantastic! Congratulations Ayelet and you know I cannot wait to hear your birth story! Welcome baby girl!
Congratulations!! I can't wait to hear how it all went!
Yay!!!! Go Ayelet!!! :jumpingbeans: :jumpingbeans: :jumpingbeans:
Mazal Tov, Ayelet! I saw the annoucement on Only Simchas!
May your raise her l'torah, l'chupa, u'l'masim tovim!
Hopefully you'll have a peaceful Shabbos.
Wow! Congratulations, Ayelet. I'm looking forward to hearing your homebirth story!!!!
Congrats!!! Hope it was all you envisioned Welcome little one!!!
Congratulations Ayelet and family! I can't wait to hear how it all went. Welcome little baby!
Congratulations!!!! I can't wait to hear how it all went!
Congrats and enjoy your babymoon! Can't wait to hear your story! Happy Birth Day little baby!
YAY!! Congratulations...hoping you are having a peaceful time with your new daughter!
YAY! Congrats hun!
oohh yay!!! Congratulations!!!!
WOO HOO! How very exciting-- I can't wait to hear details!!!
Bring on the babies!!!
Oh sweetie I have chills! I'm so glad I didn't miss this while I was away.
Sending you lots of love - happy babymoon!!!
Congrats my dear!!!! And the baby WASN'T dreadfully early. I cannot wait to hear all about you two and see some burbling baby pics.
Rest and peace to you both!
WOW!! Thank you all so much for all your well wishes and your advice and your support!!
I am finally in front of my computer, I have been thinking about you ladies and wanting to connect with you all and tell you this wonderful story!
Unfortunately, I'm not going to type up the whole thing now, because I am still tired and my gorgeous baby is fussing and I will soon not have two hands to type with.
After processing my financial fears and talking it over with Yoram when he got home, I felt a lot better. I felt like we were both on the same page and that we were going to be able to get through this and find the support we need. That this baby was not going to send us into bankruptcy and that we were all going to be ok. Apparently, my body needed that.
So the quick version is: I had erratic, but close and intense contractions starting at about 8pm on Wed. Olivia told us to try to relax and sleep if we can - we did sleep from 11 to 3:30, ctrx 4 minutes apart but tolerable. Olivia and Kim got here at the same time, around 4, Yoram was already filling the pool. When Olivia checked me at 4:30 I was 4 cm and baby was coming down with each ctrx. I got in the pool, spent most of my labor there, Yoram got in with me right before I hit transition - we thought I had a lot more time, but apparently the baby had other plans! She was born at 7:30 am, with Olivia's guidance, coaching and support - but as Yoram was behind me, I caught her myself! She was absolutely beautiful! Dark dark eyes and hair (unlike my blond, light eyed son!) and although she took a little time to decide she was on the outside and breathing would be a good idea, she had perfect color from the very beginning and was looking straight into my eyes the whole time Olivia worked to get her started. She was born 6lbs 2oz, 18.5" and is a champion nurser! Yesterday on Shabbat, Yoram officially named her in synagogue - her name is Odeliyah which means "I give thanks to God" and thats all we want to do, for her, for the experience, for my recovery which has been stellar.
We are all doing wonderfully and apparently my time is up, because Odeliya just started crying and rooting! (Good timing sweetie!)
I will get back on here and post the whole birth story, complete with pictures, just as soon as I can!
Love to all of you!!!
Oh! I'm so happy for you and how exciting for you to catch her yourself. Odeliyah is an absolutely beautiful name.
How is Tani doing with his little sister? Is he as proud as can be?
I can't wait to see pictures of your little darling!
oh it's so great to hear everyone is happy and healthy! It sounds wonderful! Love her name either way but is it Lee-ah or Lye-ah? Just want to say it right in my head from the beginning. Great to hear from you Ayelet! Happy Babymoon!
Oh I'm so glad to see you! I'm glad your birth was so wonderful and you are recovering so well. I can't wait to hear the detailed story! And I LOVE the name!
Thanks for checking in. It sounds like a great birth and congrats on the sweetie pie.
Wow, such a pretty name. Congrats! Thanks for checking in so quickly!
I am so happy for you and your wonderful family.
Congratulations on a wonderful birth! Your daugthers name is gorgeous! I can't wait for some pics. Was Tani at the birth? What did he think of the whole experience?
I agree... what a beautiful name for such a beautiful additional to your family. Congrats, and that is so exciting that you got to catch her!
just checking in for a sec b4 i go change Odeliya's diaper...
Tani was at the birth, he woke up at around 6:15 and moaned with me through a few ctrx, asked my sis to take him out during transition (i guess i wasn't just moaning anymore!) and came back in for her actual birth! he was great! and i think it has a lot to do with his abilitiy to connect with her and feel comfortable w/ her now.
Odeliya is pronounced oDEHleeyah, btw.
here is a link to some of our snapfish pics, let me know if anyone has trouble opening them: http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=156890428/a=1730127_1730127/t_=1730127
Just wanted to say congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! It sounds like everything went perfectly!!!
Oh she's BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Congratulations!
Congrats on your wonderful birth and your gorgeous baby daughter!
She is adorable.... and so much dark hair!
Congratulations! She is just darling & I too love her name! Can't wait for the whole story.
Congratulations Ayelet...she's just stunning! What a lovely family you have;-) Looking forward to hearing the rest of the birth story!
So remember my Hotsling? It's too small. I just sent it back for an exchange. But I have a wrap sling thats kinda like the Moby, and I put Odeliya in it today. She is the most content baby! She just loves it! And I love it b/c I have both hands, but I have to work on keeping my back streight b/c my lower back is starting to hurt.
She is nursing wonderfully, I only had one day of engorgement! She regained her birthweight + 3 oz, so she's getting a good amount of milk. Also, I pumped for the first time today and got 5 oz!
I pumped for Olivia. She came for our 1 wk pp visit and called beforehand to ask me if I would pump a bottle for her b/c she has a young mom in labor today who is giving up her child for adoption and Olivia is going to be caring for the baby for a couple of days, she's asking a few of her moms to pump bottles so she can give the baby breastmilk. Have I mentioned that I like her?
I haven't gotten the hang of typing and nursing at the same time, so I have to go to my calling!
that's awesome that you're donating your breastmilk like that. I'm glad that things are going well for you! How's Tani doing with the new role?