Connor William Jazz Rae
Born Tuesday November 23 2004 at 2:49pm (the Official Toronto Argos Day)
38 weeks 5 days
Weighing 8 lbs 7 oz and 18.5 inches long
My Story Starts on Saturday November 20th……. We had a bunch of people over to have one last Hurrah! Before the baby was born, the plan was to paint the nursery and do a belly cast. Thank God we got it all done lol. I spent the nite making cookies, butter tarts, and just cleaning and cooking, I figure ok I’m nesting no biggy. Sunday morning we woke up and got ready and off we went to our birthing class. I felt tired, but just figured I over did it the nite before. During our birthing class we practiced different labor positions as well as pushing……maybe I pushed a little too hard who knows. We headed over to Emily and Chris’ for the rest of the day to hang out and relax. We watched the Elf and I took advantage of that and had a nap I was so tired. When I woke up I felt great and was starving (typical of a preggo chick) so I ate some of Emily’s yummy Pasta sauce and some pasta it was so good and something I had been craving. Later on the evening I ate some these really yummy taco things that Chris made and ate quite a few of those! I started to get a headache that eventually turned into a migraine, something I had been experiencing all week so didn’t think anything of it. We got home that nite about 10:30 maybe 11 o’clock and I took a Tylenol and a big glass of water and headed to bed.
I was awoken about 3:48am on Monday morning with a wet feeling, I got up and went to the bathroom thinking maybe it was just normal fluid due to pregnancy, didn’t notice anything out of the norm so back to bed I went. At 4:47 I woke up to EVEN more wetness…..I got up and thought I was peeing myself, off to the bathroom again and checked things out. Everything looked clear, I didn’t have any contractions so I went and woke up Andrew to let him know that I thought my waters were breaking and that I was going back to bed. I changed my underwear, put on a pad and back to bed I went.
At 5:21am I woke up to 2 hard and very strong contractions. They were 3 min apart, I woke up right away and went out to the living room and woke up Andrew to tell him the news! We waited and didn’t have another contraction for 10 min. We thought well maybe it was just Braxton Hick….we were wrong! About 6am they started up again and were 3-5 min apart then they would go to 10 min then back to 3 min and I’d have 2-3 right on top of each other. So the decision was made to page the Midwives.
Around 6:20am Christy called back, asked me lots of questions and told me to take a gravol and try to go back to bed, that it did sound like the begging off labor and that I should rest. She told be Sara would be calling me back around 7 and that she would come by to check me out. I couldn’t rest after that conversation….I wasn’t really tired at all, but knew I should rest. So I tried to rest. At 7:10 Sara called and said she would be over around 8 to check me and that if anything else happened (other then what was happening) to page her right away! Andrew and I started to tidy up and get the room ready for the birth as well start making the calls. I decided around 8:13 that I would get in the shower, my back was so sore and I couldn’t handle the back pain, the contraction were on top of each other, but I could and was handling those. While I was in the shower Andrews mom showed up and was here to help us out. We called my mom and told her we were having a home birth and to my surprise she was totally cool with it and very excited, she was leaving work and getting Katie, going to her house to get the baby’s clothes (they were all there to be washed, we thought we still had 2 weeks!!!) and then heading over. Sara and Laura arrived and checked me, I was 40% effaced and 2-3cm dilated, they said everything was going smoothly and that I was doing great! They set everything up and then they stepped out. I have no idea what time the rest all happened at, but I remember the contractions getting stronger and were right on top of each other.
I remember finding my “Zone” and staying there, thinking…..”Just let your body do what it needs to do” I did and thought it was the most amazing thing in the world! My Body knew what to do when to do it and I just listened and followed. My mom and Katie showed up and I was so happy to see my mom! I didn’t realize how much I wanted my Mommy till she got here. Katie brought me a Pink Rose with a teddy bear for the baby, I cried when she gave it to me! She also bought the baby his swing which her and Andrew set up while the MW’s checked me out.
I felt like I wanted to push….they checked me and I was at 5cm 70% effaced. This was around 4 o’clock. We sat around and thought ok we’ll be having a baby by dinner time! So we thought….
Around 7pm they checked me again and I was still at 5cm 80% effaced, it was then that there was talk about possibly heading to the hospital. My Waters had been broken for 16 hours and with the contractions the way they were the MW felt I should be further along then what I was, also the risk for infection was grater the farther we went. I asked if we could go to Cobourg Hospital (it was about a 45 min drive but a better hospital) Sara said sure if I could handle the ride, at that point I didn’t care how much pain I had to suck up, I was going to Cobourg! We were able to get everything packed up and ready to go out the door around 8pm!!!
The drive to the Hospital wasn’t that bad at all, I focused on the red break lights of all the trucks in front of us on the 401 and my mom played Sara McLaughlin for me which clamed me down as well as the baby. He had been moving and so active all day and was still kicking in the car. We arrived at the Hospital close to 9pm and checked in. The ride in the Wheel chair up to Labor and Delivery was worst then the car ride lol
We got up to my room and the first thing I thought was.. Oh how pretty it was and thought, well I won’t be here long, but I’ll enjoy it while I can! The MW’s talked to me and said that they wanted to start me on Pitocin and a Epidural (the pitocin to help get me dilated further and the epi to help with my blood pressure, it had been a little high) I wasn’t too keen on the idea of drugs, hell I wanted to do this at home with no drugs at all not even a Tylenol! So while I was sitting there deciding what I wanted to do, Sara had gone to get a call from the OB on call. He suggested giving me a shot of morphine and getting some sleep and then starting the pit and epi in the morning. I was not going for that! I felt great and was ready to Rock and Roll…… But then the IV happened…..it took 7 tries, 4 people and me crying every time they stuck me! Andrew had to leave the room after the 4th time and my sister was in tears cause I was in tears! I could handle labor and contractions hell I would rather the contraction over that pain , but could not handle the pain of the IV! When they finally got the IV in, I was so exhausted from all the trauma I needed to sleep at that point! So they came in with the morphine and shot my thigh! That was another thing that hurt! My leg burned for a hour after words, bleed and I got hives all around the poke hole from it! My Mom was ready to hurt someone!!!
I don’t remember to much after that, I know that Andrews mom went to a hotel down the street, Andrew slept on the floor, my sister slept in the waiting room and my mom sat my bed side rubbing my back while I slept. It reminded me of a scene out of the movie Steel Magnolias!
I remember around 3am a nurse came in to see how I was and told me she would wake me up around 5:30 to have a shower and walk around before the anesthesiologist came in to do my epi. Back to sleep I went….
5:30am on Tuesday morning rolled around and I woke up, my mom had moved to the waiting room for some rest. The nurse came in and helped me in the shower. When I was done I woke up Andrew to help me walk and get prepared mentally for the epi. As we were walking we met up with my Mom, she took over and Andrew went to get some more sleep. The MW’s arrived about 6ish as well as Andrews mom and I went back to my room to be hooked up to the monitors again. 6:30 the anesthesiologist came in to do my epi. I thought he was the cutest thing! I think I may have even told him that lol He told me I could have a walking Epi, that’s when you are frozen only half way, you can still labor in different positions as well get up and walk around! I was all over that!
So he prepped me and explained what he was going to do and all that fun stuff. It took him 2 times before he got it perfect, because of a problem I have with my tail bone he had to do it different. Once it was in it was nothing, I would much rather do that part again then have an IV or the Morphine shot! They started the pit. shortly after. I don’t remember a lot, not sure if I was sleeping or just felt drugged. I could still feel the contractions which I liked, it was my way of knowing my body still had some control. I could also feel the baby wiggling around! I know they checked me a couple times and I was 5 cm the first time and 6 cm the second time, but I wasn’t progressing fast enough. I have no idea what I effacement I got to, I believe 100% but not to sure. At 11:00 the talk about a c-section came up, I right away said NO! I was doing ok, the baby was doing excellent so why cut me open. While we sat there talking about this and waiting for the OB to come talk to me, things changed! We went from saying ok, but let me labor till they are ready for me, check me, if I have not gotten any further then fine go ahead with c/s, if I have gone further then I get to push this baby out….too…..my blood pressure going way up to 102 or 112 and the baby’s heart rate not moving with the contractions and the MW’s looks on their faces going from ok to grey and the OB with a tear in his eye telling me it was now an emergency. So after 37 ½ hours of labor and me trying all I could try to get this baby out, it was a C/S that was in our future!
I was devastated! I told everyone to get out of my room and let me be alone with Andrew for 5 min while they got everything ready. I just remember him holding me and the 2 of us crying! Our birth plan went from having a homebirth, to going to the hospital to having a c/s it was a lot for us to take in, not to mention I had never been in a hospital (only the ER and was in and out) to stay, never had an IV or other needles or these drugs, not to mention the fact I had never had sugery before nor was I prepared for it! I prepared myself for the possible trip to the hospital, but not a c/s and now it was here and in front of me!
I could still feel the baby wiggling and kicking inside me and all I could think was “this is for my baby” But at the same time I was so sad and scared! I cried the whole time the prepped me and put the catheter in. I told them that I wanted Andrew in the operating room with me and that I wanted him to tell me the sex of the baby, and then for him to go with the baby right after the birth and for my mom to come in and be with me. They said ok and I felt a little better. I cried all the way to the operating room and cried during the whole surgery.
I remember feeling everything! I could feel the Doctor cutting me open and pulling and tugging and then pressure, I could feel little kicks from the baby, then all the sudden this burning feeling, a relief feeling then the cry! I looked at Andrew he was crying and said “we have a boy!” I started to cry, I told everyone in the room “I knew it! I knew I was having a boy! I just knew it!” They finally brought him over to show me, with what seemed like forever, he was crying, I put my hand up to his face and touched his tiny little cheek and said “Hi Connor! It’s Mommy I love you” he stopped crying and they took him off to check him out to make sure he was ok! I then remember looking over and seeing this lady coming over to me, and thinking “Oh wow….Who is this pretty Doctor coming over to me?” then I realized, it was my Mommy! She came over and told me she saw the baby and he was beautiful and she was so happy! With tears in her eyes she said “Thank-you for giving me a grandson!” We both cried.
While the Doctor was stitching me up I was squeezing my moms hand, the pain was so bad. When they finished me up they took me off the table, put warm blankets on me and let me see my baby, I asked Laura ( one of my MW’s) if she could take off his Clothes and let me have skin to skin contact and if I could nurse him I remember saying how much bonding time was wasted and we needed to make up that time!
I got to hold my beautiful baby boy…Connor William Jazz Rae, he was born at 2:49pm on Tuesday November 23 2004 he weighed 8 lbs 7 oz and was 18.5 in length. He nursed right away like a pro! The 2 of us just sat there and stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity! I loved him from the moment I meet him! I’m so happy I have him.. I can’t even begin to imagine life with out Connor, it feels like he has been with us forever!
Even thought my birth didn’t go as planned, the out come was truly amazing, we are both so lucky to have such a wonderful little boy! Both Connor and I are healthy, happy and doing great! I still have healing to do over the loss of my vaginal delivery, but with such a great little boy here to help me I know I will heal in no time!
I don't know if you ever read my birth story or not, but reading yours made me feel like I was reliving mine. I also had wanted a home birth, but due to many things out of my controle (mom'sdeath at my 37th week) I was in NY in a hospital. Just be thankful you had your mom. HUGS he is so sweet looking.