Welcome yet again! You have truly inspired and humbled many of us as we've followed your journey, I hope that your babymoon begins to be gentle and kind on you, goodness knows you deserve it!
For those interested, the birth story is on page 19 of her #2 lodge - here is a quick link to the story.
I had to read your birth story in 2 separate sittings, it was so emotionally charged. I am truly sorry for the moments that you lost in your nearly perfect birth.
Sending you lots of strength to overcome those feelings of violation of trust and your body. I hope that the knowledge that it was actually necessary and that your healthy (nursing!! finally!) babies needed that to be born in your warm, home environment, will help you to process this pain. And also if the experienced changed your relationship w/ Kyle for the better, than I hope that will help you too.
On the brighter side - how wonderful that your girls are finally nursing nicely, that they are maintaining their weight nicely and that your mom is bringing a more positive energy to the house!
~Ayelet & Yoram
NJ, USA to Israel 12/29/08
Welcome baby boy!! 26.7.13
Rambling on at http://milkandhoneymomma.blogspot.com
facebook and twitterID: ayeletschwell
I wish we could sticky #1 and #2.
Hey Erika, you are doing great! Sending good thoughts to you and the girls.
Thanks! I think that helps everyone see the whole story.
What a story! The whole journey and now this birth story.
Erika, you are an inspiration! That very tough hour on the floor. The most attended birth with the least amount of attending done (grrrr). And that terrible time on the floor when you weren't given information or choices. How much or little control a woman has really makes a huge difference in how she feels about the birth.
But here is the thing. You had an unassisted water birth. After that terrible experience, you regained your composure and birthed those two girls with no help. Holy tamole, after what you'd just been through, that is huge!
Hugs. Good for you for all the deep processing and for the courage to share your experience with us.
Ever since reading your birth story this morning I have been thinking and thinking. I guess I kind of want to get inside your head a little. Do you feel like overall it was a positive birth experience? Are you glad, in spite of the issues that arose, and the way your midwife behaved, that you had your babies at home? It sounds like you have a lot of anger, and gosh, I so don't blame you. So I wonder, too, if you have, or will, shared your written birth story with your mw (Gail) and the other individuals who were there who let you down - or if you have verbalized your feelings to them. I know that when I shared my written birth story with my doula, I edited certain parts out because I was afraid of hurting her feelings, and I wonder now if that's what I should have done. Anyhow, you have shown an extraordinary strength and endurance, Erika. I think every one of us here is in awe of you.
Also, you mentioned one placenta. Were the babies in one sac as well? If there was truly just one placenta (and not two fused together), I suspect they are identical twins, as only id twins can share a single placenta and/or a single sac (although id twins can also have separate sacs and/or placentas, but fraternal twins always have separate sacs and separate placentas). Well, you probably know all that already, but I thought I'd throw it in there anyway.
I am glad that things are going better with the nursing, and I do hope that you heal in all aspects.
I read somewhere that frat twins can also have 1 placenta & not just fused together, mmm I'll have to research again lol