Welcome to your lodge, Kris!!
I have enjoyed your BTDT wisdom on our BB and am excited for you to share your story with us!
This is so incredible, I wish I had known about these earlier! Looking forward to posting something of value soon LOL.
Welcome to your lodge!!!
Kristina, (formerly known as ~Kristina~)
doula and apprentice midwife
Wife to Jesse 8.18.01
Mom to Ayden 12.18.01, Kailey 7.1.03,
Ashlyn 6.11.05, Dylan 9.29.07 & Riley 12.8.09
Welcome to your lodge Kris!!
Welcome to your lodge! I look forward to reading about you and your pregnancy.
Ericka~Mommy to David, Paul and Adam
Welcome!!! I can't wait for the phone call to say that he's here
Natalie & Dan - June 2, 2001
Samma - Nov. 5, 2004
Tommy - Oct. 19, 2007
So we had "the talk" last night.
DS #1 was supposed to be a waterbirth at a birth center but some decreased movement at 40W lead to an NST (fine) which turned into a bpp (fine, but OH he's going to be big). My mw's dropped me to an OB who was c/s minded and after 20 hours of pitocin, yep well I have my scar.
DS #2 was a hospital VBAC. I wasn't allowed to move due to the constant EFM- so no water, no walking, no hands & knees- NADA. I stalled after 17 hours and had a choice of an epi or c/s. So I begrudgingly took the epi, dilated the last 3 in less than an hour and pushed him out pretty quickly (under 15 min). He was a bit blue and when they "recussitated" him they blew a hole in his lung and he was in the NICU for 5 days.
I found a LM through my ICAN meeting last month who talked about her views on VBAC and HB options and I was so excited to hear someone that believed in the mom! I met with her for one prenate appt and seemed overall happy. She is pretty crunchy, but I can try and work with that. I plan on having shadow care with an OB anyway- in case I need meds or tests or anything like that. Or if I end up needing to be in the hospital for a YOU-KNOW-WHAT.
Well, I hadn't talked to DH about the MW because I wanted to get a grip on my own feelings about her and how real the possibility of a HBAC is. I never lost confidence in my body, but apparantly DH has. I approached him last night about hiring the MW and having a homebirth (waterbirth, actually!) and he FREAKED. Partially about the cost, which is no biggie she will do payments. Most of it is the what-ifs. He freaked the first time but he said he was OK with it because we were in a birthcenter two doors down from the hospital with two mw's, not at home with one MW 15 min from the closest hospital. Then he went into how we have "two strikes" already and that I hadn't been able to deliver w/o meds. The first time was a C/S and they don't LET you have surgery unmedicated. The second time was because I was up for over 48 hours straight, with one overnight bout of false labor, up all day doing errands, then cxns started at 11pm and I delivered at 5:55 the NEXT night. So no wonder that by 4pm on day 3, yeah my body was ready to give up! I was again at that point- epi or C/S so I went with the epi. Basically, he thinks I need the meds.
He needs the security blanket of the hospital and all of its technology. My MW is a lay MW and has her kits and gear but obviously not all the bells & whistles. And the kicker (which I can overlook but he can't) is that MWry in MO is actually *illegal*. She can do prenatal and postnatal care but isn't technically HERE for the birth. Oh he threw a FIT.
So now I need to pack up Cole and head to my ICAN meeting, where she will be. I haven't talked to her since our appointment and have to figure out how to word this. He is willing to meet with her, and the rest of the appts would be at my house, anyway, so I am going to see if I can pay her for one more appt before "signing on". I just hate that he KNOWS better- he knows all the reasons why but he is stalling.
To explain about not having a DR- we moved from SoCal to St Louis when I was 24W pg. Right before we moved I found out he had a 90-day waiting period for health ins at his new job. So when we got here I applied for state insurance (took a while, had to have pay stubs from him, etc) and finally got word in August that I qualified. But no dr's office will take the temporary Medicaid, I could only go to a clinic, basically HE** NO! But an HMO was going to kick in 9/1 and they wouldn't give me an appt without the card in hand. Which didn't show up on or before the 1st- I had to call last week and have them re-issue one. Still not here, BTW. So I can't even CALL for an appt yet- 36W today. Great...... May just be showing up at the hospital in labor if I can't have my MW and can't get an appt.... OK will write more later, time to get to that meeting....