DH and I met in Rome almost 5 years ago (he was visiting one of my friends. I spilled red wine on his favorite pair of khakis just to make sure he wouldn't forget me). He went to Boston College, I went to Notre Dame. His roommate Tim dated one of my roommates Mary in high school. The ND/BC football game is a pretty big deal every year so two of my friends and I made the drive from South Bend to Boston over fall break to go to the game and visit Tim. This was the Fall after we met. We ended up hitting it off again and started dating long distance. DH graduated that year from BC and decided to attend the New School in NYC for his philosophy masters. I still had a year left at ND (architecture is a 5 year program). After I graduated we lived in Brooklyn for a year while he finished up his program and I worked for a high-end residential firm in SoHo (we also were engaged shortly after I moved to NYC). After the year in NYC we decided to move back to the town where DH grew up so he could go to Bowling Green for his PhD. We got married in Sept. 2006 in my hometown in KY.
We settled in pretty nicely and were quite surprised to find ourselves pg February 15, 2007. It was a shock and earlier than we had expected, but we were pretty excited nonetheless. Unfortunately I miscarried in late March. We decided to try again right away and found ourselves pg again after a month. I had been pretty upset with my OB's office after my first pregnancy and when I called to tell them about the second and schedule my appointment the nurse actually told me to take another test and call back in a few weeks. Because the 5 sticks I'd already peed on weren't enough? Time to find a new Dr.!!!
So we ended up with an appointment with a CNM before I even knew what that was. I was old enough to remember my mother's last two pregnancies and births (not that I was present at the birth) and thought that going to the OB and listening to whatever your Dr. said was pretty much the norm.
(To be continued...)
Me and DH while I was still at ND
At our friends' wedding in Portland when I was 14 weeks pg
We live just outside of Toledo, OH now. Even in the house DH grew up in. Built in 1865 and in need of TONS of work. We rent from his mother and get a reduced rate for helping to rebuild the house. I'm an architect so I've been doing the drawings and getting things approved through the historic board here.
I was pretty lucky to stumble upon a CNM. Things were going pretty well for me until I went on a L&D tour in November. Then I knew a "regular" hospital delivery was NOT what I wanted. I had been a lurker on this board for a while and was very interested in NCB. After the L&D tour I basically had a panic attack (or what I now refer to as my moment of clarity). I started doing a lot more research and made my ideal birth plan. DH and I had many long talks. I haven't convinced him completely, but he's pretty much ok with anything as long as Tess and I come out of it just fine. He seems most concerned with our safety, which I value and am of course concerned with as well. I'm still trying to get him on board with a water birth and homebirth, but we definitely won't be doing that for this baby. Instead we've agreed on a birth center. We're still trying to get the details worked out with insurance, etc (which is a nightmare. I hate insurance companies with every fiber of my being) but have decided we'll pay out of pocket if necessary. I am still seeing our CNM for the time being until I hit 37 weeks to be sure. We went over my birth plan at our last visit and she was ok with most of it. She was trying to talk me into a heplock and not delaying cord cutting until it stops pulsing, but overall wasn't too bad. My real worry with a hospital delivery is being coerced into something by a L&D nurse or not being able to deliver with OUR CNM but instead the oncall OB associated with the practice. DH is worried as well and has gone over every detail of our birthplan in detail to make sure he knows what I want. I know he will be a very good advocate for me should it come to a hospital birth, but I don't think it will.
The only freestanding birth center around is called Mother's Own. It's in Temperance Michigan and is about a 20 minute drive or so from our home. We really love everything about it. The CNM who owns and operates the center is just great and willing to work out any kind of payment plan we need (it just has to be in writing for her accountants). We did get our in-network exception denied, but their biller is now involved and is appealing for us. Unfortunately this can take up to 30 days. I may not have that kind of time. It will cost about 2500 out of pocket if there is no coverage. Not too shabby for my piece of mind and doing what I know is best for me and my daughter.
So now we're just getting the house in shape for the arrival and doing what we can to prepare. We've been doing perineal massage (I think it will work pretty well, considering how uncomfortable it was when we started compared to now. I'm a pretty, er, small person) and breathing techniques. I'm sitting on my birth ball now because of all the pelvic and lower back pain I've been having. Today I've had 4-5 BH's an hour for most of the day, even while lying down. Hopefully that's a good sign. Now if I could just find one comfortable bra I'd be happy!!!
Ok, some more pics:
My favorite one from the wedding. The pictures were taking TOO long! I think at this point I asked for tequlia with an Aleve chaser.
Here's one with my face!
The beginnings of our nursery (which we probably won't use for a long while as we're planning to co-sleep)
DH with three of our four furbabies. The white dog is Fran, a westie. The brown and white dog is Da Vinci, a shih tzu. The kitty in the back is Hermie. Missing is Butters:
He can be a funny cat sometimes. He's indoor/outdoor now after a lot of lobbying (and running outside). The first time we let him out on his own he climbed to the roof of the church next door.
We're not really worried about the pets with Tess. We've started putting all the "equipment" where it will go when she arrives. I think we're going to get a baby doll to start carrying around and put in the bed with us at night. It's a good thing we have a king size!