Take your time and take care of yourself.. don't rush it. We'll still be here when you are better. Eat well, it will help your emotions too.
Congrats on your beautiful babe and having the birth that you wanted!
I'm so happy that you got your VBAC!!! Welcome Billy!
Congrats to you Sarah. Rest up and enjoy your family.
Rest and feel better. Don't rush things. He's beautiful!
Congrats! Get well soon, and enjoy the new, beautiful bundle!
How are you feeling Sarah?? It must be so frustrating being so sick with a newborn to look after :(. I hope you start feeling better soon!!
I forgot to tell you too.. Caleb's newest little cousin was born on the 10th May at 10:35am at the same hospital as you!! She tried for VBAC, but had to have another C-section.'
Anyway.. am thinking about you, and hope things start looking up!!
Take care xx
Sarah~ I am so glad you are home and you have mom and hubby around to support you right now. Your baby is so beautiful, I hope you are recovering and enjoying mommy time.
So glad to hear you are taking it easy and getting lots of help these days.
I am so very sorry for your illness. Billy is beautiful and I could not be more happy and proud for you!!!!!
Looking forward to your wonderful birth story.
Thanks girls! Your messages really do mean a lot to me. I am really struggling, I have ZERO energy. It is an effort to walk up the strairs. I feel so USELESS. If it weren't for my family I would be in big trouble. Thank goodness for them.
Max is starting the big brother jealousy stuff and he knows that I don't have the energy to deal with him. My mum and Mick are though but I just hate that I am being an ineffective mother.
Billy is doing great. Sleeps more during the day than at night which I am trying to change. He is a great feeder but a slow sucker so feeds take about an hour!
I really want to write my birth story as I feel like I am forgetting so much of it already. Birth story is my goal for the week.
Goal for today is to get out side and have a walk! Must get blood pumping!
Send all the energy vibes you can spair!
*~energy energy energy ~*
I'm glad things are going reasonably well and you have the support that you need. I hope you get out and get your walk today!
PS--I keep an online diary, and sometimes when I have stories that I NEED to tell, I'll open a notepad file and work on it a little at a time until it's done. Just a thought.
I hope you enjoy your walk today! And if you don't make it outside, don't worry, there is always tomorrow!!
i have written 3/4 of my birth story!!!!!!!!!
yay!! Can't wait to read it!
Yea Sarah, I am so excited to read your birth story--but take your time, I will try to be patient, hehe!
Hang in there!
Yeah Sarah~take your time....it will all come
How are you feeling today Sarah?? Do you have a little more energy??
Sarah, my thoughts are with you. I know how hard it is to recover from an illness that hits so soon after a birth. Please, try not to push yourself too hard. It does get better, I promise. With me I was weak as a kitten and pretty much useless, but once my energy started to come back I was a LOT better everyday.
It'll happen, I promise.
Congrats on your little boy and your VBAC, Billy is beautiful!
BILLY'S BIRTH STORY
Warning! This is a VERY VERY long birth story! Apologies for the length but once I started writing I just couldn't stop and it all counts so I couldn't take any out! Feel free to skim read! Sorry!
Wednesday 9th May – Started as a pretty rotten day as Mick and I were both sick. Mick took the day off work and the two of us took turns trying to entertain a very bored Max. There was lots of Bob the Builder and the Wiggles! During the day I thought I might be having the odd period like pain. Nothing major and nothing that really caught my attention. At about 3pm I decided we had to get out of the house. Max was desperate to run around and despite being the last thing we felt like doing Mick and I dragged ourselves out to the park. The fresh air was actually great. While at the park I noticed that my period like pains had started to intensify. I decided to see if they had any regularity to them. They did – exactly 15 minutes apart. They were happening on the quarter hour which made it easier for me to time b/c I am terrible with numbers! After 4 of them I told Mick. I didn’t actually use the word contractions because the thought that this could be “it” was not something I was ready to entertain. We did lots of walking at the park while Max kicked a ball around. At around 5pm it was time to come home and feed Max dinner. We stopped at the supermarket to get a few things and while I was there I noticed that my “pains” (still not ready to use the “C” word) had intensified and were closer together. At one point I had to stop at the trolley bay as I had another “pain”. It took my breath away.
Once home the “pains” were 10 minutes apart (sometimes closer) and I if I was talking at the time one came I had to stop and breathe through them. I decided that I should give Mell (my Doula) a call just to let her know that something was happening. She was so excited! Not sure if I have mentioned this before but she is a student doula and I was her first birth! I calmed her down and told her it was probably a big false alarm. Not sure who I was trying to kid but is didn’t work! Made me feel better though.
I tried to help Mick with Max’s dinner, bath and bed time routine but it was getting harder and harder to do. By around 7pm I really needed to concentrate and breathe during each “pain” (yep I was in some major denial at this stage!!! LOL). I decided I’d better call Mell back and let her know that perhaps this was it. She offered to come over (she lives nearly an hour away) but I told her to call me in half an hour and we would decide then. I told Mick this after I got off the phone and he was not impressed, he vetoed that plan and told me to get back on the phone! Obviously he wasn’t in denial like me! So I called her back and she said she’d head on over.
At this stage the pains were coming pretty regularly at 5 minutes apart. Because I was planning a VBAC I knew that I was supposed to go to hospital reasonably early but since my OB had never actually given me a timeframe I wasn’t ready to call. I did decide to call my mum in Sydney though and let her know that she may need to hop on a plane and I also went next door to my sister in laws place to let her know she may be staying at our house for the night! Despite getting organised for the fact that I was in labour, I really was still in some serious denial. I knew I was but it was working for me!
After a phone conversation with my best friend, she convinced me to call the hospital. As the L & D nurse answered the phone I had a big “pain” and couldn’t talk. She laughed and said it sounds like you are in labour! She was pretty keen that I come in but did tell me not to hurry.
At this point at terms of dealing with the pain, I was mostly walking around and breathing. The pain which had started in my lower abdomen had now also moved around to my lower back which was not a pleasant experience. The baby had been anterior for ages so I was pretty mad thinking he/she may have become posterior!
Mell arrived at some point and I was busy trying to finish packing my hospital bag. I was content labouring on my own. I was happy to talk in between but not during. Mell bought me a heat pack for my back which was nice but it was hard to walk around and hold it against my back.
At around 8.30pm we left for the hospital. Mostly because the pain was becoming more intense and I didn’t fancy labouring in the car once they were worse. The car ride wasn’t actually as bad as I thought it would be although I did start to use my vocalising techniques to match the pain which seemed to be a good substitute to walking around. My contractions (alright, I was nearly ready to start calling them that! ) slowed down to about 7 mins apart in the car. I was a bit bummed by this but knew that could happen. On the walk from the car to the hospital a family pointed and started at me while I had a contraction. That did not impress me so I when I finished I made a rude comment to them about staring! Ooops!
Once in the hospital (8.45pm) I quickly popped in to visit a girl friend who had had her baby there that morning! I figured it might be a while before we saw each other. I must have looked a sight, pacing around her room in the post partum ward in full labour! Once we settled into the L & D ward, they hooked me up to the EFM which I knew would happen. They couldn’t find the telemetry (cordless EFM) which I wasn’t happy about but they said they would keep looking. Thankfully I could still stand up and labour because there was no way I was hoping on that bed! When they did my ob’s they noticed I had a high temp which actually never went down the whole labour. Not a fun thing to add to the mix!
My OB wasn’t on call that night but I like all the OB’s in the practice so that didn’t bother me. The OB showed up at 10.30pm. It was great that she took so long to get there because that meant the “clock” hadn’t started in terms of dilation (expectation was approx 1cm per hour for VBAC). When she checked me I was a 2-3cm. She said she would come back at 3am and would like to see that I was about a 7-8cm. She put an IV needle in but I wasn’t actually attached to the drip. Thankfully the nurse had managed to find the cordless EFM which was so much better.
Labour wise things were going well, I was really in the zone. My contractions were pretty steady at 2-3 mins apart and I was finding it tough but manageable. My main theory to deal with each one was to “match the pain”. For me this involved lots of vocalisation and swaying. Because the pain was predominantly in my back I found that it really helped to have Mell push her thumbs into the top of my buttocks during a contraction. The other thing that worked was squeezing my hips. I became very focused on standing in the same spot for every contraction and it didn’t matter where I was standing in the room, the minute the pain started I walked to that one spot, put my arms on the high bench and dealt with the contraction there. I could not stand anyone talking during a contraction. It really bugged me. Occasionally the midwife would come in and monitor my contractions by placing her hand on my tummy. This was fine as long as she didn’t touch my belly button. On the odd occasion she did and man did it hurt. I would yell at her and swipe her hand away.
I became more and more reliant on Mell during each contraction. I needed her to be right there and to keep the pressure on my back. I no longer liked the thumbs in my back but the hip squeezes were great and while Mell did that Mick would massage my lower back. I tried using the birth ball both in between and during contraction but I really didn’t like it. At some point I remember losing a big chunk of my mucus plug. Man that stuff is sticky!
From a pain point of view things were starting to get really tough. I was using all the techniques to match the pain but I could feel the fear of each contraction starting to catch in my throat. Mell tried to talk me through a contraction but I couldn’t concentrate when anyone spoke so that didn’t work. Mell was aware of how I was starting to feel and suggested I move to the shower. I didn’t really feel like getting my clothes off and into the water but I was hoping it may help.
The shower was hard work, mostly because my contractions had really intensified. They were 2 mins apart, or less and lasting for a minute each. Michael held the shower head onto my lower back and I also had the main shower rose spraying onto my upper back. Mell kept up the back massage and hip squeezing but I was really starting to loose it emotionally. I kept my face against the cool of the shower tiles and really tried hard to vocalise through the pain but I could feel myself slipping and self doubt about how I would manage the rest of the labour and birth was really starting to creep in. It was impossible for me to vocalise how I was feeling to Mick and Mell because there just wasn’t enough time to talk in between contractions and I also needed to take that time to prepare for the next one. I remember muttering things like; “I can’t do this any more” during contractions and again I really felt like I was getting out of control. Both Mick and Mell did there best to get me to focus but I just couldn’t stand them talking. I could sense their helplessness at the situation but I was quickly reaching the point where I felt beyond help. It was around this time that I seriously started considering getting an epidural.
It was quite an odd moment because I had been so adamant about not getting an epidural. I really wanted to have a true natural birth and was very confident in my ability to deal with the pain. But I guess the reality of the situation couldn’t have been known to me until I was in it.
I am not sure how I said it but I mentioned something about wanting an epidural and immediately Mell and Mick were using the lines I had asked them to to encourage me to keep going. They said things like, “you can do one more contraction Sarah and then let’s see how you are” and Mell was also trying to explain to me that she had many other ways to helping me deal with the pain but somewhere deep in my head I had already made up my mind and an amazing sense of peace came over me about my decision. I knew I couldn’t look at Mick or Mell because it took all my concentration to deal with the pain but somehow I managed, in a very clear voice, to say to them that this is what I wanted and I was truly serious. That I knew I had asked them to try and convince me not to have an epi but that I truly understood the decision I was making and was happy with it.
At Mell’s suggestion I agreed to let the midwife check my dilation progress which meant getting out of the shower. This was not a fun experience. She checked me and I was only 4cm. This confirmed my decision for me. Interestingly even the midwife was giving me time to change my mind, offering to leave the room while we discussed my options but at this point I was adamant and asked her to call the anaesthetist.
Things got very tough at this point as I had emotionally switched off from dealing with the contractions. They felt like they had intensified a thousand fold. The mind really is an amazing thing. It took the Dr about 20 mins to get there and another 20 mins for the epi to fully work. The midwife was amazing during that time; she is who got me through the contractions. I had to be sitting on the bed and it was pretty awful. Once the epidural had taken full effect I felt an amazing sense of peace come over me. I knew that my decision was the right one for me and I was now able to convey to Mick and Mell how I was feeling. The last thing I wanted was for them to feel as though they had let me down by not encouraging me to go further without the intervention. I actually thanked them for listening to me and respecting that I was serious about my decision.
It was about 2.30am at this point and we were all exhausted so Mick and Mell set up some beds in the room and we had some lovely quiet time. Mick actually had a sleep and Mell and I just whispered to each other about all kinds of things. My OB came back at about 3.30am, checked me and I was now at 6cm. She said my cervix was very floppy and wanted to be more dilated but wasn’t able to. She was not entirely happy with my progress and said that the baby did not have its head on my cervix. This she thought could be occurring for two reasons, 1) b/c my waters were between the head and my cervix or 2) the baby was obstructed. Because I still had a high temp and high temp can be a sign of obstruction she was mildly concerned but I managed to convince her that the temps had been there for days due to my illness so instead we agreed to break my waters and see what happened. There was a small amount of meconium in the waters but nothing to be overly concerned about. The OB left again, saying the nurse would check me again at 6am and then call her with an update.
Mell and I continued to chat and also try and sleep but neither of us could despite our exhaustion. Mick managed to catch a few zzzzz’s but not much. At around 5am I could feel pretty intense pressure in my rectum so I told the midwife. She offered to check me and when she did she found I was fully dilated to 10cm!!! Looks like breaking the waters really did the trick! She told me there was no need to wait for the OB and that I could start pushing very soon! That was enough to rouse Mick and a wonderful air of excitement filled the air. For the first time I truly let myself believe that I would get my vaginal birth and that was an amazing feeling!
Because of the lightness of the epidural I could feel each contraction as pressure in my rectum and this was a great tool to aid me in my pushing. I was able to tell the team when another one was coming. For the pushing stage the end of the bed was removed and I was sitting almost totally upright. During each contraction I had my feet on the hips of Mick and the midwife. From that very first push the baby started to descend. I felt very confident in my pushing skills despite having had the epi as this was something I had read a lot about. Even the midwife remarked at what a great pusher I was. However despite all the great pushing the baby had other ideas and decided to take it’s time! The head was crowning for a very long time but reached a point where no matter how much I pushed it just wouldn’t budge. I was able to feel the head with my hands and that really was such a surreal but awesome moment. We tried perineal massage and hot compresses but after over an hour my perineum was now starting to swell rather than thin and the baby’s heart rate was now fluctuating. My OB knew how much I didn’t want an episiotomy but after much discussion and a few more contractions I decided that this was the best course of action.
The next bit happened so quickly. The OB had only just put the scissors to my perineum as I pushed and I literally felt a pop and out came the babies head and shoulders. The OB told me to reach down and pull out my baby. That moment of birth is one I will never forget and will treasure for the rest of my life. As I pulled my newborn child from my vagina and between my legs onto my bare chest I remember letting out a sob that only a mother could make. Here was my baby, born from me. I did it. He was here. An overwhelming sense of love and pride came over me. I honestly have never been as proud of myself as I was in that moment. I am still so proud of myself.
At 6.23am on Thursday May 10th 2007 my second child was born.
At some point I had a look and announced that we had a boy. It wasn’t important. The baby stayed on my chest for the next hour or so. He wasn’t weighed or poked or prodded in anyway. It was just he and I. I tried putting him to the breast but he wasn’t interested so instead we just snuggled. Mick was right there beside us, loving us.
Ohh man!!! Im so proud of you!!!! Thanks you so much for sharing your birth story! I have been itching to read it since You called me!!! I have tears and So much love and respect for you!! YOU DID IT!!!!!!! Thank you so much Sarah..
Oh Sarah!! That was a beautiful birth story!!! I'm in tears, and it gave me goosebumps!!!
You did so well!!! Your story was very similar to mine with Caleb, and brought back lots of memories. From the moment you decide to have the epidural, it can't come soon enough (i vaguely remember telling my A that i loved him! :oops: ). I really loved how you were able to enjoy those few hours of being pregnant, and then fully concentrate on pushing (rather than intense pain)
I'm so proud of you!!! You did so well.. and he's just gorgeous! :cloud9:
Thanks so much for sharing your story!
What a beautiful birth story Sarah~you did a FANTASTIC job!!!!
What an amazing story! Congratulations on your son, and for getting your VBAC!
Sarah--your birth story is amazing and you truly are in inspiration. I wish I was there to give you a hug and kiss your little Billy. The pics are beautiful and the one of you, Mick, and Billy brought me to tears. You will never know how much you and your story have given me the strength to have my VBAC. Thank you Sarah and congrats on your beautiful little boy!
Congrats on your VBAC and your precious LO!
Wow Sarah, what a great job you did. You should be proud of yourself. I can still remember what those strong contractions feel like. If I would have been told I was a '4' during those, I would have needed some relief too. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope you get your strength back soon. Congrats again on little Billy!
Congratulations, Sarah! I'm very happy for you, and I hope you're feeling better after your illness.
Thanks so much for sharing Sarah! Your birth story was not too long, and thank you for including photos. Billy is so adorable and I love the photo of the 3 of you at the end. Congrats
:lurk: Sarah, Billys birth story is unreal!!! Power to you. I loved reading it and you have every right to be proud of yourself. Look at what you did!!!!!! Amazing. I hope that you are starting to feel better too.