Sarah's (sarahsunshine) Lodge! - postpartum - Page 2
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Thread: Sarah's (sarahsunshine) Lodge! - postpartum

  1. #11
    Community Host sarahsunshine's Avatar
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    My mom (gardenbug) told me early on that I should write a pregnancy journal. I tried a couple times and it just fizzled. I've never been very good at keeping a journal. But maybe, for the next month (about) I'll see if I can steadily add some reflections about me and pregnancy. Here is the first go:

    Monday June 4th's reflection:

    Well, I did a quick overview of pregnancy and the past 8 months from work today, but now that I’m home and everyone is gone (DH is away on a business trip, SS went to his mom’s, and our friend who is visiting went out), I have some time to sit and reflect. Much of this stuff has gone by the wayside, and it would be neat to have it all in one place.

    My journey to motherhood has been a huge learning experience. It didn’t just start 8 months ago. I suppose, I could say it started the day I was born, but instead of going over my whole life (that would be rather tedious!), I’m going to go over the highlights of my own self-realization.

    Most would call me a tomboy growing up. I didn’t care about dresses, or clothing, and never did understand why people would waste money, or more importantly, time, on makeup or shaving. Why was it wrong to be yourself? Why should anyone change oneself for anyone else? I still don’t understand. I didn’t see it as being a tomboy, but as being myself. I didn’t care what other people thought – that was their problem to deal with, not mine! – as long as I could run faster/play better position/be better at sports than they could.

    I had a great relationship with my dad. I played soccer, and hockey and he coached me. When I got to a higher level, he came to all my games. With my mom, I took piano and flute lessons and did figure skating. I think she had hopes of me doing something girly – or maybe figure skating was the only way of getting me into a dress! I loved music – particularly the community and togetherness of singing and playing guitar around a campfire. My dad was the best guitar player in the world (I later learned he knew about 10 chords), but that was enough to play almost any folk tune so it was perfect. Being outdoors brought around a great interest in wildlife biology – for which I later went to university and got a couple and half degrees.

    I decided early on that I would never have kids. It wasn’t the responsible thing to do in an overpopulated world. And since what really bugged me about lots of people was their inability to keep their word, I stuck to it, or a vowed that I would! Plus, I guess I didn’t fit in the feminine side of things enough that I didn’t really know how to accept the whole role of being womanly so of course I wouldn’t have kids!!! which I have recently been getting over.

    As much as I always knew it, it took a long time (and I’m still working on it) to finally realized that I don’t have to wear makeup, be super emotional, wear dresses, and follow societal norms to be a woman. As much as I knew this superficially, it is taking many lessons and people to realize that I am feminine, I am womanly, and I am me, and I do want to have children, and I am capable, and it is all wonderful. It may sound weird, but at the same time as not caring what other people thought, I had set up an image of myself for myself that I would never be feminine because that was a waste of time and money and resources. It was stupid. However, by doing that, I had been denying an aspect of myself!

    So to skip over many years of stories (I’ll probably add a bunch later)…

    In many ways, pregnancy has forced me deal with the womanly side of my character, and accept it as another piece of my already complex self. It’s been great to see the resistance I’ve had with certain things (“I can’t be having a baby, I vowed I was never going to have kids!”) and deal with them and the issues that go along with them.

    I look forward to learning so much more in the future.

  2. #12
    Community Host sarahsunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rikkiac
    Sarah, I am so excited for your lodge. It makes this getting so close to edd's much more of a reality! I am excited to hear more of your story!
    And I yours!!! You're lodge will be started here soon too!

    And you too Connie!!

  3. #13
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    Welcome to your lodge, Sarah! I've enjoyed reading it so far.

  4. #14
    Posting Addict gardenbug's Avatar
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    This could be cool! The computer lends itself to many things, and in this case, to a closer bond with my darling daughter who lives so far away!

    We were so lucky that Sarah had strong interests as a little girl, and being a tomboy would be the way she describes her youth. From a Mom's point of view, being an active kid who loves the water, singing, animals, roller blades, the arena, the mountains and so on...that is such a pleasure and relief! It wasn't hanging out at the mall. Sarah was comfortable with friends anywhere and we never worried about her social abilities. She was fantastic with her brother too, who tended to be more of a loner at first. We never doubted that she had a feminine side. She needed to find out for herself though.
    Was she practicing to use a birthing ball here?
    Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat

  5. #15
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    Wow, Sarah! Congrats on your lodge! I'm so excited as the summer babies start coming. Thanks for sharing here and on our bb!
    Elizabeth


    Jameson's Blog

  6. #16
    Mega Poster rikkiac's Avatar
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    What a cute pic! I love that your mom has all the non digital pics on the computer!
    Ericka~Mommy to David, Paul and Adam



  7. #17
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    Sarah, your journey to becoming a woman and wanting/having kids is great! I love reading you and your mom's posts on the July board, and the love you have for each other definitely comes through in your posts!


    Three angels in Heaven

  8. #18
    Community Host sarahsunshine's Avatar
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    I have a doctor’s appointment at 4pm today!!!

    I moved to Edmonton in 2003 from Ontario where I had REALLY LOVED my previous doctor at the university health services. Doctors here are in such short supply that most people are lucky to have one! I found one who was taking patients for an annual checkup. She was unapproachable, and very difficult to talk to. I was happy when I went in Spring 2004 for a post m/c checkup and found that she’d sold her practice to a new doctor who was much more approachable. Last summer, however, I had issues of not having my period for several months. And as nice as that was, and I knew there was nothing obviously wrong, and I knew I wasn’t pregnant, I figured it was something that should be addressed. I went to visit the doctor and her gut reaction was to prescribe a bunch of hormones to force my body to menstruate, and to get an ultrasound. I didn’t like that idea at all (haven’t returned to her since) and decided that it was time to go visit a naturopathic doctor. I’d always wanted to, but had never had a good enough reason.

    I got a glowing reference to one from my massage therapist. Dr. Rob was awesome. Though a little tardy, we discussed everything about medical history, views on life, emotional state, stresses in my life, and even zoology (we both have an MSc in Zoology). We discussed the effects of various treatments, what they did, and how they addressed my entire body. He came up with 3 things and he asked me to ‘feel’ which one felt best. One felt better than the other two, but I was infinitely more drawn to something behind his computer (I couldn’t see what). He looked around his desk and found a bottle from one of his previous patients, an item that was a liver cleanser (deals with synthesis of cholesterol, the building block of many hormones), but it was generally used for men. So he went back to his lab and found the equivalent for women. With my eyes closed again, he randomly picked a couple of the 5 bottles and gave them to me to “feel”. 4 times, I came up with the same one – the women’s liver cleanser! I was amazed. I came out of there with a $5 bottle from which I took 5-7 drops once a day for a week. I menstruated the following week! Even the hormones wouldn’t have done that!!!

    Anyway, as much as I will stick with the naturopath, there is a time and place for conventional medicine and I wanted to find a doctor (covered by the medical system) for both me and the baby. I told my midwife this, and in April she was contacted by a highly sought out doctor here in Edmonton, and told that he would take 2 new patients. He is well known for being one of the doctors who supported midwife care, and got midwives privileges at certain hospitals. As much as he is part of the typical medical system, he is also well known for being non-interventionist, and supportive of alternative therapies. My MW sent me a referral letter, and I was one of the 2 that he accepted!!! I have an appointment at 4pm today, and though I know I’ll likely have to wait a long time for the appointment, I am super psyched!

    Woohoo!!!!

    Now all I have to do is come up with a list of questions for him. Because I’ve read so many reviews from people who’ve been to his practice, I know I can skip a bunch of the “what’s your view on midwifery and homebirths” type questions. What other info, though, should I ask? I know there is probably a list around nearby but I haven’t found one.

    My current list has:
    - Given that I’m planning a home birth with a midwife and post-natal care up to 6 weeks, what post-natal care do you expect, assuming good health? (appointments frequency, etc…)
    - How long would it take to get an appointment in case of emergency/illness requiring doctor’s care? What are after-hour non-emergency procedures? How long to get a physical/routine examination?
    - How are inquiries handled – can I call the office for advice instead of having to make an appointment? Who would I talk to – a nurse, answering machine or yourself? Or advice from the nurse through you?
    - What are your recommendations regarding vaccination in babies and children?
    - How do you deal with concerns outside your area of expertise?

    Anyone have anything to add?
    Skyler Dylan 22 April 1999
    Reed Aslan 17 June 2007 ~ 8 September 2008
    Ivy Rayne 3 May 2009
    Leo Spencer 2 Sept 2010
    Forrest Reed 15 Aug 2012


  9. #19
    Posting Addict gardenbug's Avatar
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    Had a heated discussion with a friend this weekend about vaccination of children. The main stance was that those who refuse vaccination do so trusting that others WILL vaccinate. Also that polio and other such diseases are on the rise again worldwide, needlessly in their opinion. More details too. I am sympathetic, yet did not fully vaccinate you because of our pediatrician's views. So I would have to read up on a great deal of this before making a firm decision.

    What I appreciated most was my pediatrician's confidence in me as a parent. His belief that I would know that something was wrong with my children well before he could detect it was confidence building. He never felt I whined or came in needlessly. A great guy.

    I think often a sign of a good doctor is one who is on a university faculty and teaches others. Several times I observed student doctors under his supervision and he did extraordinarily well with them. He gave them lots of space and they asked me, the Mom, many questions. A really nice situation all around.
    Leo (3 1/2) with Malcolm the cat

  10. #20
    Community Host sarahsunshine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gardenbug
    Had a heated discussion with a friend this weekend about vaccination of children. The main stance was that those who refuse vaccination do so trusting that others WILL vaccinate. Also that polio and other such diseases are on the rise again worldwide, needlessly in their opinion. More details too. I am sympathetic, yet did not fully vaccinate you because of our pediatrician's views. So I would have to read up on a great deal of this before making a firm decision.
    Actually, that's my argument (or one of them) about NOT getting vaccinations exactly! We studied this in one of my ecology classes as an undergrad. If most people get vaccinations, then it effectively cuts down the population size that a virus can be harbored/traveled in. If the population is small, then there is less likelihood of the virus actually getting to where you live.

    Another interesting thing is that even if you decide to NOT get vaccines, we keep an eye out for the big diseases like polio and such and can always get a vaccination if it looks like it's coming through even if originally you don't get one (assuming you think they work and yada yada) and later in life rather than subjecting them all to a newborn!

    I need to find out more about this vaccination question, the variation between traditional vaccination and oral, naturopathic vaccinations, and the success, difficulties, hazards of each. I plan to take my questions over to the naturopath and ask his opinion too at some point.
    Skyler Dylan 22 April 1999
    Reed Aslan 17 June 2007 ~ 8 September 2008
    Ivy Rayne 3 May 2009
    Leo Spencer 2 Sept 2010
    Forrest Reed 15 Aug 2012


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