wwahooo!!!!!!!! Thinking of you! How darn exciting
Edited: She had her baby!!!
Woot! Congratulations!!! Can't wait for her to pop by!
Oh I can't WAIT to hear from her! That was indeed a FAST labor!
Can't wait for more news!
Congratulations! Can't wait to hear all about it.
Congratulations!!! Can't wait to hear more too
I hope you are all doing great!
3 days postpartum
Today is the first day I woke up and felt, wow, that is a big improvement from how I felt yesterday. I'm definitely feeling better. Hurray!
The thing about coming home from a birthing center is that because you come home so much sooner than from a hospital, you have more recovery at home. It really took a good two days just to settle a little bit.
I also wanted to write out my birth story longhand in my journal. I've kept a journal every day since 2/26/1997, and I have never missed a day. Not my wedding day. Not either day I gave birth. It's an important tool for me. I attribute reaching goals and dreams to make them realities because of writing in this journal. Anyway, I had to log in some time there before moving on, and I've now done that.
I expected to write my birth story immediately after living it and to post it here. But I've had to do some processing of my birth. It was a very positive birth. It did, however, have some unexpected parts, and I found myself needing to think about the experience as a whole, how I faced it, and especially the unexpected parts. I think it's normal both to have unexpected things come up (that's part of the drama of birth!) and to need to think about the deep experience of each birth.
And it helped to remember that even though I look back on my first birth now as extremely positive, I had to take some time with it. I mean, it was a wonderful, life-changing event, birth #1, but I had to deal with some anger afterwards. I had anger at being forced to deliver in the hospital, at having an induction, and at not being enough part of the decision to go to the hospital for an induction. Eventually, I came to terms with these things and could focus on what was really empowering about my birth story: how I'd made it through labor without drugs, without help, without anyone noticing that I'd done it all alone; how I'd delivered standing up.
Little Owl is doing great. Fantastic. He sleeps, and I do not feel exhausted. Omigosh, I shouldn't admit that here or he will go on a rampage. He is nursing and pooping and all that good stuff. He has some hair on his head, and he's starting to look around at everything.
So far Edward is a happy big brother. He pats and kisses Little Owl. This morning Edward gave Little Owl 3 train stickers. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, to hear that it's time to return that baby to the birthing center, but so far so good.
I've downloaded some photos onto my system, but I haven't yet sent out an email announcement to friends. I have to do that. Um, it's getting imperative. That's a goal for tomorrow.
Of course I also want to get some photos up here and get my birth story down.
Affirmation for the day:
Be flexible and your life will flow more smoothly. Things don’t always go the way we expect them to go, and sometimes even small differences have a big impact.
I can understand the need to have time to think on your birth before you share it, that was how it was for me
Enjoy your baby moon! Congrats again
You sound wonderful and I am so happy for you.
Take your time with everything, but know we are here for you when you need us.
I will enjoy reading your birth story and seeing pictures when you are ready, until then enjoy your time with your family.
I think writing anything, especially a major life event we've just lived through, requires a good bit of processing. When it's ready to come out, I can't wait to hear about it!
I just wrote your affirmation at the top of my birth plan.
4 days postpartum
My milk came in today. I've been tight, but not too bad because Little Owl is hungry. Also, having a nursing toddler who is soooo ready to connect with mommy is a tremendous help. He's had about 90 minutes of momo time today, and he loved every second. Me too since I have no engorgement problems because of it.
Little Owl is doing great! He’s showing no signs of jaundice which was a roller-coaster nightmare with Edward. He sleeps well, so I’m actually getting a fair amount of sleep at night which, gosh, I almost don’t want to say that and jinx it. He’s nursing well too. I have a lot of milk, and he is drinking it up. He’s losing his neonatal wrinkles which shows me he’s got no signs of dehydration. And when he’s awake, he looks around. He loves to put his fingers in his mouth. Last night as we lay in bed together, he wiggled his feet against my legs. They were so soft, and it was so cute that he was enjoying just touching me.
Now you need to know a couple of terms.
Hoohaw: women’s private area between the legs.
Turkish dentist: self-examination of private areas.
I am really sore in the hoohaw. Sitting up hurts in particular, so I’m trying to adopt a reclining position. This makes it hard to type or get other things done. I have swelling and bruising, and I did get a tear. The tear wasn’t bad and didn’t require stitches, but the midwife offered to give me some stitches which she said cosmetically would make it look better. I had a small tear with my first birth, so this one feels much bigger even though I know it’s not considered bad. I visited the Turkish dentist, and everything looks ok as much as it can considering that the area got wholloped by a passing bowling ball.
I was describing to someone yesterday how it feels to give birth (an older gay man who will never know and isn’t likely to have close proximity to someone going through that). I talked about how natural childbirth allows you to follow your body’s guidance to open up and let this baby pass. Finally, I couldn’t figure out how exactly to describe it, so I said, you know, it’s like holding hands with God. For a brief second in eternity, you are right there on the brink of creation, that fearful, volatile, primal time where it feels like you are about to burst but you don’t know exactly when or how. You know it’s for the greater good that this will happen, but that doesn’t lessen the pain or fear of what you are going through to make it happen. I don’t mean “heavenly” because it’s not a relaxing, sublime experience. There is a sort of necessary tension and shaking as this event is about to happen. And then the passage occurs, and the vibration of an impending explosion subsides as mother and baby are together, attached by a cord, and yet apart as this new person is separate for the first time outside its mother.
I think I’m maybe only a day or two away from approaching my birth story. Don’t hold me to that. And thanks for understanding what I meant about processing deep experiences. Oh, I wanted to say that I’m planning to share a photo with you from within the first two minutes of the birth.
Love is the greatest, most powerful force there is, and the more love you give, the more you increase your capability to receive love.
What you told that man was beautiflly said. So glad you are having such a great beginning to a wonderful relationship, so nice when baby nurses well off the bat
Jennie- I just love reading your lodge posts. You have such a gift with words. And to share that gift with all of us by posting is really wonderful.
Little Owl sounds like he's doing very well. And how sweet that Edward gave him 3 train stickers! That's a hefty gift in kid currency!
And the water works begin! lol Your description of what birth is was absolutley beautiful.
I hope you heal quickly!
My butt was so swollen after I had Elizabeth that my inner buttcrack was palpable outside of my buttcrack and it was BLACK! :shock:
So, I feel your pain. Sitting on a boppy really helps and if you can get one of those children's inflatable floating rings (for the pool), sitting on that for a long soak in the tub is great as well.
Thinking of you!!! Glad he's nursing well that makes it so much easier for everybody eh? Will keep sending happy vibes at Edward...
Your description of birthing just brought tears to my eyes... so, so right.
7 days postpartum
My milk started to come in on the 31st and by yesterday it was really coming in. I was engorged despite the valiant efforts of both my newborn, who couldn’t be expected to do much, and my toddler. After 60 minutes of nursing, I expected my toddler to put a dent in my engorgement, but no. I was literally dripping milk still. So I pumped. I got 12 oz. in my first pumping. Later in the day I pumped again and got another 4. I pumped twice today and got 12 and 10 oz. respectively. And gosh is it creamy. I’m stocking my freezer!
Little Owl is noticeably different. His wrinkles and dry, flaky skin are turning into beautiful, infant skin. He eats well although he likes to lick and taste my momo before committing to a latch. It’s pretty funny to watch. And he likes to sleep. Ahhhhh, I can live with that. We go for little walks out onto my deck off the kitchen with him in the sling. The sun is too bright for him, but the fresh air is so nice, especially for me after 5 months of bedrest.
I’m feeling much better. I’m within 3 pounds of my prepreg weight. Booyah!! My shape is still flabby like 5-6 months, but I know that will go away eventually too. And it is so nice to pee that extra water weight into the toilet. My hoohaw is not as swollen and bruised as it was. My only problem is one stitch which is being stretched or coming out or something. It is extremely painful and is pretty much the sole cause of me swallowing 4 ibuprofen every 4 hours. And I even feel the pain through that. In the past two days I haven’t sat upright, I’ve just been lying down. And still it hurts. I could have a lot worse, but this is bad enough. Whenever I cough, it is really painful. My cold is almost gone.
If I hadn’t gone into labor, I’d planned my next lodge to be about facing fears. What were my fears about labor and how did I plan to cope? I’d boiled it down to 2 big fears. My first fear was that without the Cytotec I’d have a really long labor. I do well with short and intense. Long and dull is hard for me. But I did ok with that. I had a 5-6 hour labor (5 hours and 10 minutes that I recognized as labor). Not bad at all. Very efficient of my body to open up at a rate of approximately 2 cm per hour. My other fear was that my best friend, David, who’d been with me for my first birth wouldn’t be with me. He wasn’t with me when I went into labor and delivered because that happened during the middle of the night, but he was there to help me deal with being in the hospital and within an hour after the birth. And there was no chance he’d be with me this time except in spirit. But I guess two years is enough time to get used to someone not being with you because I just concentrated on the birth and didn’t think about him. He dealt with a lot of physical pain, so I’d always looked to him for support with pain, but I did fine on my own. But I’m happy that I lay that emotional groundwork for myself by thinking about my fears ahead of time.
We’ve now set a date and time for the naming ceremony, next Sunday at 2. We’ve chosen Name Keepers as well, my brother and sister-in-law. They haven’t totally confirmed with us, but considering they have a newborn too (Reece Decker born on 2/18/06), I think they’re just busy. We’re going to use the same simple ritual that we created for Edward’s ceremony. We don’t like to invoke the God and Goddess so much because we don’t work with those energies much and because we think people could feel uncomfortable with that. So we stick to the elements (air, fire, water, earth). We’ve also been talking about the name we chose. Yes, it’s chosen, just not announced. But since we have time until it’s announced, we’re still thinking.
Yesterday I made the webpage which will act as a birth announcement until we can send everything to the printer for our birth announcement. Today I sent out our email announcement about the birth to friends.
Pain never killed anyone. Fear and exhaustion will take their toll, but they’re separate from pain.
It is absolutely amazing how the quality of one's life improves when one feels even marginally better in the hoohaw which I do this morning.
Things are looking up in the down-there area!
I am glad things are looking up hahaha!
Glad that the hoohaw is healing!
I LOVED what you said a bout birth. I thought that was so beautiful, and so true.
Glad that Little Owl is nursing well, and that Edward is helping out too. I thought that the only up side to engorgement was getting an early start on my freezer stock Gotta take the positive where you can find it, huh?
I hope your marginally better hoohaw is triumphantly better tomorrow!
LOL, glad things are feeling better!
LOL oh man isn't that the truth!!
Peas Porridge Day
Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold
Pease porridge in the pot 9 DAYS OLD!!!!!
That's right, Little Owl is NINE DAYS OLD. Wow!
Woke up this morning at 6:30 am with rocks for boobs. I pumped 6-8 minutes maybe (that's as long as I could sit with my sore hoohaw), and I got 17 ounces of milk. Holy Milky Mama! I am going to stock my freezer and maybe donate some soon.
Some good news: I'm one pound below my pre-pregnancy weight as of today. Woo hoo, woo hoo hoo!
Yesterday Candace, my favorite midwife, came to visit me for a fun social visit. As a favor to me, I took her on a visit to the Turkish dentist. I pulled out my mirror and flashlight, and I showed her the stitch that really hurts. All is normal. It is just probably where the wound is deepest. That's a relief!
As of yesterday I am no longer wearing hospital mesh underwear, maxi pads, or using the squirt bottles to pee. That's a few steps in the right direction.
Little Owl is just growing and thriving. He is a great eater, and I cannot believe how much he sleeps. We have no crying in the house. He's just next to me all the time and happy. Unlike Edward who never learned to suck his thumb, this one has sucked his thumb practically from day 1. He gets thunder hiccups just like when he was in utero. And he seems to have a mommy preference which Edward didn't have, so maybe Little Owl will turn out to be a mama's boy (that sounds kind of fun to me).
I'm beginning to want to see people, but it's very tiring on me. I really have to lie down for the healing, and I so want to get up and move around.
We're getting ready for the naming ceremony. Edward's special outfit arrived. It's a white shirt with a round collar and a light blue overalls with a bunny on it. I told him I ordered a special outfit for him to wear, and before he even saw it he said, "Thank you, Mommy." Ugh, it breaks me in two that I can't spend more time with him. Mostly preparing at this point is getting the ceremony program set (I got out the one we used for Edward), organizing the house so it can be cleaned, and inviting people and planning the food. I tried to get a new dress, but when it came in the mail and I tried it on, I looked like one of those frumpy 1950s Italian women who had 7 or more children. Sort of a sack with no style. Oh well. I'll just dig in my closet for something else.
You can't control everything in your life, and you are not supposed to be able to. It's ok to surrender to the experience unfolding before you.
edited for spelling. sigh.
Love your affirmation!
I'm glad you're healing well, albeit slowly. And if I haven't said so before, thank you for your honesty - it is so beneficial to me personally, allows a great look at some of what I have to look forward to.
Sounds like you are doing great for 9 days. Congratulations on the weight, that was FAST! So not to be too personal here, are you saying you have stopped bleeding entirely or just heavily? I am just curious as I have no idea what to expect in that area after the birth.
It sounds like you have two very sweet sons! And Edward's outfit sounds darling. What is little owl wearing?
I am so excited to find out the name!!
It sounds like things are going well, that's great! :thumbsup:
It sounds like you are making wonderful progress with healing! I can't believe you are already below your pre-pregnancy weight! Your body's metabolism must be sky high to be producing all that milk! Little Owl sounds like he has adapted so well to life outside to womb.
Between taking your midwife on a visit to the Turkish dentist and the 1950's frumy Italian women with 7 or more children, you are really cracking me up. I love reading your posts--your sense of humor is entertaining and admirable, considering the state of your hoohaw.
Between taking your midwife on a visit to the Turkish dentist and the 1950's frumy Italian women with 7 or more children, you are really cracking me up. I
Me too - thanks for the giggles hon!!!
Sounds like things are going pretty well. I'm hoping to get a milk stock going this time too... and hoping this baby will actually DRINK some of it LOL. ds took a bottle precisely twice before he decided that nothing but mummy would do... sigh. This baby is not THAT baby. This baby is not THAT baby. (my current mantra LOL)
Glad your making some progress healing wise! WOW 17oz in one pumping session, thats awesome! You must have been so uncomfortable though! I hope I can get a few sessions like that when I'm stocking up to go back to work!
Go milk mama!! What kind of pump are you using? I used the Medela Lactina with the twins, that sucker worked great lol This go 'round I bought the Medela PIS.
A few answers to questions.
Chimmy, I use the Medela Pump In Style backpack model. It works just fine. This morning my toddler was with me at 7:30 am while I pumped (15 oz in 8 minutes - after nursing him for like 20 minutes), and then my toddler decided he had to have a go at the pump too. So I got some really classic photos of my little boy pretending to pump milk for his baby brother.
Mary, I have stopped bleeding enough that I am not wearing any protection now. Not even a lightdays pad. I'm wearing my husband's knit boxers, not my own underwear mostly because my shape isn't back to normal even though my weight is down considerably. I still have soreness in the hoohaw. I have a little bit of old, brown blood in my discharge, but nothing terrible except it's a little bit itchy. I’m still taking 4 Ibuprofen regularly but haven’t needed the icepack for over 24 hours.
Little Owl will wear the same christening dress that my son wore and that I wore when my parents had me christened. It's a beautiful, old baby dress. I'll make sure to take photos!
Mary and Kamila, Your responses make me think that when I post my birth story, some of you would like to hear even the graphic afterwards and recovery details. Would you? I'm not shy about it. I just don't want anyone to feel they have to slog through too much recovery stuff.
Now the general update.
Off to the midwife this afternoon for my 1 week postpartum check up. Ok, so it's a few days late. Whatever. Little Owl will get his hearing test too, I think. Maybe his second PKU. Not sure. I plan to bring: my general thank you note to bring them, a letter of thanks and recommendation for the student midwife (she didn’t ask, but it’s a nice gesture on our part), a box of chocolates as a thank-you gift (last time we sent fresh fruit and later found out that they pulled the entire box apart looking for chocolates), and a bracelet for our favorite midwife who gave us so much help even though she wasn’t there when we delivered our baby.
Our pediatrician visit on Tuesday was great, particularly good news because dh and I had been dreading the "no, we are not vaccinating him now" fight that we seem to have every time. (We're not against vaccinations, but we like to delay them so that our child is better able to communicate with us if he were to have a reaction. If a child has a reaction to a vaccination, it’s crucial to get immediate care for the child.) Little Owl is still 20 inches, which is fine, but has gone up from birth weight 7 lbs. 1 oz. and 2nd day weight of 6 lbs. 8 oz. to 7. lbs. 8. oz. Chugalug Punky Boo!!! ("Punky Boo" being a Mommy-and-Daddy-only-authorized nickname.) I told the pediatrician how much milk I'm pumping, and he was shocked. I mean, I had a lot with ds #1, but 8 oz. per pumping is low for me. I'm consistently getting at least 12-15 oz. per pumping. I said that Little Owl is only waking up once at 4:30 am at night, and the pediatrician said, it's all that milk! And then I told him our birth story (which y'all will get later) about how we all just hung out at the birthing center and I was fine through it all and then oh yeah, at some point we'll have a baby, and then we did have the baby and dh and I did it ourselves while the midwives just watched. The pediatrician was like, I can't wait to get home and tell my wife - she won't believe it.
So, now for the more tricky news. I think I have blown a gasket. Omigosh, no kidding. The stitch that really hurts used to be in the middle of the repaired tear. And now it is at the top of the tear which means that whatever repair was above it has come undone. On Tuesday night I thought I saw three stitches in the toilet (sorry - TMI). At first I was like, omigod, omigod, what am I going to do? And I got out my mirror and flashlight to go to the Turkish dentist. But then I was like, ok, calm down, no red bleeding (just some old, brown blood) and maybe it's normal time for these to dissolve. 9 days is a pretty regular healing time for stitches. Still, my calm dh (heck, it isn’t HIS hoohaw) said he was sure I was fine but glad I had a midwife visit in 2 days. I’m going to ask her to look at it again, and I just hope she doesn’t think I’m some sort of crazy hoohaw exhibitionist. I’m just so nervous about this healing because the repair after my first birth had to be cut open with scissors at my 6 week visit after I’d said twice to them “this just doesn’t look right to me….”
So this morning I'm feeling like maybe I can start taking some walks. I'm not 100%, but I'm feeling much better. I don’t want to push it too much though because I did that a few days ago and had to spend the next day with an icepack on my hoohaw all the next day.
Little Owl is starting to communicate with us. He puts his hand on my hands when we're nursing to tell me he likes this and wants to continue. And he's also starting to sleep less.
I would like all the details you are comfortable giving...I am really not sure what to look forward to afterwards. It seems everybody is more than happy to tell you about the birth but they stop right after the baby comes out, like that's all there is to it...lol.
It sounds like you are doing great. I think that 9 days is about right for stiches to come out if they are that kind of stiches, but don't feel bad having her check it out again, I would ask too, I mean it's a pretty important area! Iw ould want to be sure it's healing correctly, too!
That is so great that you have your old christening dress to use for your boys, I wish my mom had kept mine. She leant it to a cousin wwho never returned it. I have some other old baby slother from my brother and I though, and I love them. a lot of boy baby dresses with short pants kind of things that I am going to put on my boy...even though I know it's out of date, I love that look.
I'd love to read anything you put up I stopped mine after I had the baby b/c I figured no one would want to read the rest lol Although I did write it out I just didn't put it up w/ the story.
I'd say 9 days is good healing time too ~ it sounds like your doing well for being so soon pp, that's great!
I'm with the others - I'm finding that the more details I have (no matter how grisly and graphic), the more comfortable I get with the idea of an intervention-free birth. It's much different (and better) than reading birth stories in books, kwim? Share as much as you'd like and as much as you're comfortable with, I'm sure we'll all enjoy reading about your experience!
I can't believe I forgot my affirmation for the day. Duh.
Here it is:
Feeling overwhelmed and tired reminds us to stop and take a deep breath, to reassess our priorities, and to think about what will make the most important impact on future lives. Cleaning the house will not matter in the future. Kissing and holding your new baby (or taking care of yourself in late pregnancy) will.
Thank you for that- I need reminding sometimes, our priorities shouldn't be with the house!!! It has been bthering me an awful lot lately!
That is a perfect affirmation, so important and hard for us to remember.
I really like this one!
It's completely rainy and overcast here today. Translation: you want me to get out of bed? Are you kidding? Luckily, a new baby is the perfect excuse to stay put.
Little Owl is doing fine. He woke up at 3 am trying to poop, and since his digestive system is developing this involves some kicking, squirming, and fussing. So I was tired in the morning from being awake to help him through that. Mostly it’s holding him, light tummy and back massage, and waiting for the explosive squirt.
I woke up at 6:30 am with rocks for boobs. I had to hold them as I walked to the kitchen to get my pump parts out of the dishwasher. Then I sat down and pumped 21 oz. of milk before nursing Little Owl. My milk overproduction is getting unruly.
I went to the midwife yesterday, Candace, our favorite. When I told her I thought I saw stitches in the toilet and that the healing looked different to me, she said she wanted to take a look unless I really didn't want her to. I was relieved. So she wasn't thinking I was a hoohaw exhibitionist. She said that I was healing fine. There are still some stitches there. The pain seems to be located mostly where the stitches have a knot. And there's some scar tissue build-up. But she said that once the stitches dissolve completely, I can come back and we can start some topical estrogen cream treatment which will diminish the scar tissue. I'm so glad to have a plan.
We gave the midwives a box of chocolate as a thank you gift. It was a big box, and they practically devoured it while we were there. Last time we gave them a big basket of fresh fruit thinking they’d like an all natural, healthy gift, but one of them confessed that they’d torn apart the box saying there had to be chocolate in there somewhere. Oh well. At least we knew for this time.
The maybe difficult news is that Little Owl passed his hearing test in his right ear but not his left ear. I'm not too worried about it yet. It could mean he wasn't properly asleep or whatever, so I'm not freaking out yet. (Why is that? I freaked out when my first son didn't pass a lead test at one point. Then we did a 2nd test and he was fine, but I was totally nuts with worry until that 2nd round of results came back.)
I started to write my birth story last night. I'm feeling good about it now. Starting is the hardest part, so it can't be long now until I get it posted. I had a dream last night that Chimmy unstickied my lodge before I got it posted and I was so upset. How crazy is that?
The first daffodil in the grove is blooming. I planted this grove in my backyard in memory of my best friend who died. (I think I mentioned him in an earlier posting on this lodge. He was living with us when my first son was born.) Apparently, my whole family thought we might name Little Owl after him since Little Owl was born right around the 2 year anniversary of my friend's passing, but we told them, no, we're not doing that. I just couldn't lean out the back door and call to my son in the backyard by saying my best friend's name. At any rate, that splash of yellow is a nice memory.
TMI alert (recovery info)
My hoohaw is still sore, particularly when I walk around. The stitches have been itchy for about 4 days now, but I’m not supposed to put anything on them. I’ve had old blood discharge and some cramps for 3-4 days now. When I walk I get friction on the sides of my hoohaw, and it gets raw from rubbing, so I put a little bit of olive oil on there to help that last night. I haven’t used ice packs in a few days though. I’m intermittently taking the 4 Ibuprofen pills.
The energy in the world moves towards balance. If something is out of balance, it will move toward balance. If something is balanced, it will try to preserve that balance. Consider finding and preserving balance in your own life.
I can't wait to read your birth story, and your affirmations are ALWAYS inspirational.
Thank you for all that you share!!
P.S. I bet you can change your location listed in your profile now . . .
Megan- You're right about my location except I'm still in bed which has become:
Grand central recovery station.
Grand central side-lying nursing station.
Grand central diaper changing station.
I've even had a business meeting here in the last couple of days. Ho ho ho.
lol Jennie ~ sounds like my location as well!
The energy in the world moves towards balance. If something is out of balance, it will move toward balance. If something is balanced, it will try to preserve that balance.
You are SO right about this. I meditate on balance a lot and it helps keep me that way.
I really can't wait for your birth story! I had to laugh about your dream about PO.org and your lodge, its crazy how involved in this site we become. Beautiful timing about the daffodil, IMO.
LOL Jennie I wont unsticky your post I pwomise. Am glad to read that your healing well and that your m/w has a plan for the scar tissue, I'm sure that was a relief for you.
I think the timing of the daffodil was beautifu as well