~*~*Jodi's (Barefoot~Mama) Birth Lodge*~*~

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~*~*Jodi's (Barefoot~Mama) Birth Lodge*~*~

Welcome!! Looking forward to your journey Mama!

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Welcome to your lodge!!!!

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Welcome to your lodge!!! Yahoo

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Welcome to your lodge!

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Welcome to your lodge!

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Welcome Jodi!!!

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yay, Jodi! Welcome to your lodge!

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Welcome to your lodge! I'm so glad to be out of school for a while, now I have time to read these!

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I hope you come on over and share this special time with us, we need another Mama to follow:)

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YAY! Thanks!
I'm here - I just now came back from a 5 day trip to see family - my last till after baby #2! It went alright. My 2 1/2 year old screamed most of the 6 hour ride home and somehow learned how to un-do her seatbelt.

Anyway. I'll do a longer intro later, but here is a brief one:

I am in my early 30's - not quite sure w/o doing some math exactly how old since I don't celebrate holidays.... but anyway. I've been married to my DH since 1997. We got married when I was 19, he was 21. We will have been married 13 years this May. Just having kids has been a loooooong road since he "changed his mind" about having any kids at all - just when we were planning to TTC - BOTH TIMES! I could have killed him, but obviously it worked out both times Wink

Anyway, I've been a public school teacher for a while - I'm in the middle of my 10th year. I currently teach a K/1 split class w/ several crazy students, and though I love what I do, there are days when I think I could do something else. While I was waiting to TTC my DD, I trained to be a doula and attended 6 births. At the time we lived in VA. I LOVED LOVED LOVED being a doula. My previous job was teaching at-risk Pre-K for the public schools, and so I could leave to attend births because I had 2 support staff that could cover for me. Now however, I have no support staff, so cannot continue to do doula work.

When DD was 6 months old, I quit my teaching job and moved to IL to start over... that's another whole long story. Anyhow, we love it here now and have a wonderful playgroup for my DD, and great neighbors and friends. The only bad part is that homebirth is "illegal" here and there are no birth centers in the state (other than 1 or 2 near Chicago- which is over 3 hours from where I live). So I'm having to do a hospital birth and I'm on the fence on how I feel about that.

I'd REALLY love to have a homebirth. My DD's was a planned homebirth, but I was never tested for GBS, and so my MW's had me go into the hospital once my water had been broken for over 18 hours to get antibiotics. Other than that, my DD was a COMPLETELY drug free birth and I loved it. I'll try to find her birthstory somewhere on my computer and load it up here later.

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Welcome to your lodge and I am looking forward to your journey.

kvo
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I'm glad you posted! I was pg in 97 (obviously didn't go to term) and was planing to move from WA to MD where the baby's father lived and where homebirths are illegal. The only people who could deliver babies were CNMs and OBs.

I'm curious about how the hospital handles your birthplan. Will they force you to be hooked up to an IV? Give birth in the bed?

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Alright, here's a bit more to my story.

DH and I met in high school when I was a freshman and he was a junior. We were best friends for almost 3 years, and did not start dating until the middle of my junior year. When he graduated h.s. he moved from MI where I lived and his family lived, to Florida, where his dad lived. He was planning to apply to art school. He lived there 6 months, and we wrote eachother long letters all the time. We missed eachother very much, so he moved back to MI in the winter of my Junior year and we started dating when he got back.
I knew that he was THE ONE - as silly as that sounds being only 16! Anyway, he got a job at a restaurant and an apartment. My mom HATED him. Basically because her 16 year old had a boyfriend w/ his own apartment. Lol During the 6 months that he lived in FL, his mother had sold their house and moved to Chicago. So he had nowhere else to live.
I graduated, and moved 2 hours away to the other side of MI for college and he moved there too. He took some classes, but never finished a degree. We got engaged just after I turned 18, and planned a wedding for a year and a half later. We planned to move in together, but the city where my college was was very very religious and no one would rent to us because we weren't already married.

So I moved back "home" to the city I grew up in and we got an apartment together. My mom still did not like him, but that's the way she is. Anyhow, mom parents were divorced since I was 3, and my dad did not want to have anything to do with paying for college, and my mom didn't earn enough $ to do it. I have a brother who is 5 years older, and a sister who was a year older - and both were in college at the same time I was. She did pay for one year for me though - and so I had to work full time so I could pay my 1/2 of the apartment and my tuition.

When we got married after my sophomore year of college, we talked about kids. I told him I wanted 2. He said he wanted 1, and maybe 2. We both agreed to wait until school was done and we had stable jobs. We also agreed that since he did not have a degree and he did not want to be working full time -that he'd be a SAHD. We decided to start TTC when I was about 30.

SO I eventually got my degree in Child Development and Elementary Education w/ a minor in Biology. We were in MI at the time and could not find a teaching job since the economy there was just starting to go bad w/ all the auto plants beginning to close. SO I had no job. My mom had since relocated to ATL. She desperately wanted me to move there. Her school district was huge and 3 days before school, they were still short 200 teachers. So I applied for a job there and got an interview. I got the job and we moved there 3 days later. We hated it there and moved as soon as the school year was over. This time I interviewed in VA where they had a grad school program in infant development at Virginia Tech. I did not end up getting a job near there, but instead near UVA. We lived there for 7-8 years, and DD was born there. I taught K and Pre-K while there and was a doula there.

I went on maternity leave for the summer and the first few months of school since DD was born late July. On the last day of school my principal told me that she was transferring me to 2nd grade when I come back from leave in Nov. That was 4 years older than the students I had been teaching for 7 years. I was pissed.
DH and I had been thinking about moving back "home" to the midwest for quite some time. We just realized that we were not true southern country folk Lol We owned a great eco-friendly house in the country, but we could NOT stand all the barking dogs, gun shots and 4 wheelers all the time.
So we put the house up for sale and I applied for jobs in IL, where we now live. I got a job at a local public school the same day as our house sold for $60k more than we paid for it a couple years earlier. Of course 1/2 that $ had to be used to pay off a special loan we had gotten, but it made things easier to live since neither of us were working for 6 months!

When I turned 28 I really wanted to TTC, but knew it wasn't the right time. So I started training to be a doula. I did that for a year and then told Dh it was time. It took him almost a year to agree, and that was after lots of crying on my part. He had become used to living w/o a baby, and was worried how he'd deal with it - being isolated in the country all by himself w/ a baby when I went back to work.
So we began TTC so that we could have a March or April baby so it would work best for the school year - and I got pregnant with a baby due the end of March -but had a m/c at 5 weeks. We decided to keep trying, but had no luck for a few months. I have a history of a pituitary tumor and at the time un-treated hypothyroidism. So I got a new endocrinologist and went to an RE and the month that my thyroid got fixed, I got pregnant w/ DD.

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"kvo" wrote:

I'm glad you posted! I was pg in 97 (obviously didn't go to term) and was planing to move from WA to MD where the baby's father lived and where homebirths are illegal. The only people who could deliver babies were CNMs and OBs.

I'm curious about how the hospital handles your birthplan. Will they force you to be hooked up to an IV? Give birth in the bed?

I just went to the MW yesterday. Baby is evidently an octopus! It was moving around so much that she swears it has 8 arms and legs. The heartrate was really good - around 150.

ANyhow, I showed her my birthplan, and she seemed totally fine with it. I think since homebirths are illegal - some hospitals are trying to be more mother friendly. I HOPE HOPE that it is true. They do have a birthing tub - ONE. The hospital's protocol is to give you a hep-lock, but I'm refusing it and she said that it wouldn't be a problem and that all the MW's will basically tell the nurses to get over it. I'm also refusing all meds and immunizations for the baby at birth. I will have to sign waivers, which I'm fine with. The MW said that since I'm anti-intervention, they will give me a nurse when I check in for delivery that also is. That way I'm not going to be likely to be referred to CPS for refusing things for my child.

They don't make you stay in the bed or birth in it, which I'm very happy about.

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Welcome to your lodge!
Sounds like a good hospital. My hospital was actually pretty good- it was my OB that sucks- so I do believe a good, natural hospital birth is possible.

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Sometimes I'm convinced I'm carrying an octopus too! Smile

Sounds like a very nice setup. I've certainly heard of wonderful NCBs taking place in hospitals, you just have to be a little more assertive and fend off more than you would at home or in a birthing center that is really used to it. It sounds like the MWs will help advocate for you there too, which is awesome.

Congratulations and I look forward to hearing more!

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Sounds like you've had quite the wild ride with your DH- lots of moving around, jobs, etc. But also sounds like you have weathered it all well- I hope you get the birth you want even in the hospital.

I'm from Michigan (Kalamazoo) and am interested in what town in Michigan is so religious that they wouldn't rent to you... I didn't know it was THAT bad anywhere around here!

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"Marite13" wrote:

Sounds like you've had quite the wild ride with your DH- lots of moving around, jobs, etc. But also sounds like you have weathered it all well- I hope you get the birth you want even in the hospital.

I'm from Michigan (Kalamazoo) and am interested in what town in Michigan is so religious that they wouldn't rent to you... I didn't know it was THAT bad anywhere around here!

It was when I was at GVSU - near Allendale, west of GR>

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"Barefoot~Mama" wrote:

It was when I was at GVSU - near Allendale, west of GR>

Very interesting... I grew up in Kalamazoo, and have traveled a bit around Michigan, but I suppose I don't know other parts of it too well!

In any case, I hope you love the Chicago area now!!!

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"Barefoot~Mama" wrote:

It was when I was at GVSU - near Allendale, west of GR>

Welcome to your lodge! I am so excited to read your backstory - I've really enjoyed reading your posts in April!

I was in Grand Rapids from 1999 through 2005 - I had to move back to Chicago to save my sanity! The CRC/Dutch mafia was a bit too much for me (my apologies to anyone who is Reformed Christian/Dutch descent - I think any religion is fine until it takes political control of a community). But, I'm originally from the east side of Michigan - outside of Port Huron - and my heart does belong to Michigan.

I hope you find your daughter's birth story and post it soon!

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I hope you can get an anti-intervention nurse when you check in. I really think the nurses I had for both deliveries really helped out & made things easier for me. Plus, the possibility of the CPS stuff (which I'll say again I think is total cr@p!) makes it really important for you.

That's cool the hospital has a birthing tub -- do they actually let you deliver in it? Is that something you're even interested in? They had tubs in each room at my hospital, but you can't deliver in it -- just for laboring.

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I really hope you get a nurse that is okay with your refusal of interventions, I can relate to the fear of CPS being called on you. I have the same thing to contend with when I deliver, but in NYC it is pretty standard practice to have CPS called on you for refusal of certain newborn procedures (Vit K and eye goop).

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Here is my DD's birth story =- WARNING _ It's LONG!!!!

Well on Friday I started feeling kinda wet - and I was worried my water was getting a slow leak - but I finally came to the conclusion that it was just increased CM.... and it continued through till labor started. By Saturday I had began to spot pink, and so I knew something was happening, but figured it would still be quite a while since I still felt totally normal and no contractions, etc.... This continued on till Sunday. Then Sunday DH and I decided to run some errands because my sister was coming to stay with us for a week or two and we wanted to go get some groceries so she could help me cook some casseroles while we waited for baby to arrive. I truely believed I'd go overdue (but she was born at exactly 39 weeks).

Sunday mornign I was still spotting, DH and I started making the shopping list and he made a pot of coffee. But the coffee pot decided to not work anymore - and so we also wrote on our list to go to the kitchen/bath shop to get another because we were having a homebirth and figured the MW's might want some coffee...... I called the MW's just to let them know I'd been spotting for a couple days (because just Tuesday when i had seen them, I had no signs of labor at all) but neither of them answered and I decided it wasn't a big deal and I didn't leave a message.
So we went to the store - they didn't have the kind of cofee pot we wanted, and then we went to the grocery store. We got all our groceries and while we were in the check-out line, I felt a little gush of fluid - not much really - so I assumed it was just more CM.... then I got another gush - bigger this time and I began to worry that it was my water that had broken and I knew by how it felt that my pantiliner was now full. But it still wasn't so much fluid that it was dripping or anything and I wasn't totally convinced that it was my water. (this was 3:30pm on Sunday).... So we checked out our groceries - and walked to the parking lot. Dh loaded the groceries in the trunk and I went to sit down in the car, this time another small gush - so I was pretty sure it was my water.... I was wearing a dress and a pair of shorts underneath and by now i could tell some of my shorts were damp. So before we left the parking lot - i called my MW's - but niether of them answered their phones - and I didn't leave messages yet, wanted to see if things would pick up....

So we drove the 30 minutes home - without a coffee pot and DH started noticing I was rubbing my tummy - I told him it was feeling crampy off and on and that I think my water broke a little bit.... so he timed me everytime I held my tummy. I was having contractions every 9-12 minutes and they were lasting about 40 seconds.

So we got home and i just timed my contractions every once and a while. I called my MW back and she answered - I told her that I think my water had broken and the contractions were still spoardic. She told me to call back when they got into a good pattern and were 5 minutes apart. Plus - I never got the GBS test run because I decided I'd want antibiotics regardless at 18-24 hours if my water broke early - positive or not..... which meant I had a time-limit. So the contractions got to about 8 minutes apart and lasting 45-60 seconds. They were annoying - but not painful.

At 8pm, my MW called me back to check on me. She was kinda disappointed to learn that my contractions weren't getting stronger, and sent me out to get some castor oil (because at this point I had to get baby out by 10am Monday - or else my homebirth would have to transfer to hospital...... So DH and I went back out and I sent him in to get the oil, and some rootbeer to make a float with to drink the oil - but the pharmacy didn't have any rootbeer, either did the gas station - so we ended up going back to the grocery store. By now my contractions were 7-8 minutes, but still not strong.

I got home, made myself a rootbeer/castor oil float and just as I finished it, my MW's called back - still not much going on, so they told me to call them in the middle of the night or whenever I needed them to come over for the birth. They also wanted me to try some nipple stimulation to get things going stronger - I tried it, but it didn't help - so I used my electric pump for about 45 minutes - that did nothing either, so around 10pm I went to bed. I slept through my contractions till around 11:45 when I was woken up by cramping and a stronger contraction that lasted almost a minute. I decided it was just gas pain from the castor oil and drifted off back to sleep - but was woken back up with another about 7 minutes later. So I laid there for a third one and finally decided to get out of bed to help things along.

I let DH sleep. At around 2am my contractions started coming every 4 minutes - lasting about 45 seconds - not quite strong enough to need the MW's, but I thought I should call them since they live about an hour from my house... The MW told me to call back when they were painful enough to breathe through them. So I went back to laboring on my ball in the living room and pacing around the house trying to keep the contractions going. DH woke up around 3:30 and checked on me. The MW's called back around 4 and said they were coming over even though they thought it would still be a while. By now I started having several loose stools, which meant the castor oil was working. Just about 4:30 I got sick and threw up - and It made my contractions start coming a bit stronger, but not much. The MW's arrived at 5am. and checked me. I was 3cm and 0 station, and she easily stretched me to 4cm.

The MW's drank tea - and coffee DH made by tea-bag method by tying a coffee filter shut. DH and I walked for a while, I tried more nipple stim in the shower, sat on the birth ball, etc. but nothing seemed to make the contractions much stronger. I did finally get to the point where I had to breathe through them - but still not too bad. All the pain was in my tummy and it felt good to lean forward on DH.

By 9am,. the MW's wanted to go on a walk with us down our 1/4 mile long dirt road. I only had an hour left to get the baby born before being transfered to the hospital. At the end of our walk we talked about what to do - they agreed to let me stay home till 11 if I wanted, just to see, but that it may not be enough time - depending on how my cervix was doing - and the fact that my contractions were still only 4-5 minutes apart. So I decided that they could check me now and if I was not close - I'd go to the hospital to get antibiotics. We thought that if a good doc was on call - that they may just give the antibioitics and I could come back home - but the OB on-call was not willing to do that. So they checked me at 10, and I was 5cm and kinda stretchy, so they figured I would probably be a 6 soon - but that an 11:00 baby didn't look very likely. So we packed up some stuff and the MW drove us to the hospital.

I didn't have a single contraction during the entire 30 minute drive. One of my MW's is actually also a labor and delivery nurse at my hospital - and was due to work her shift that night from 3-11...... so I was lucky that she got to be my "nurse" as well.

Once I got to the hospital, I still had no contractions - and so the MW's went to the cafeteria to get some lunch while I got my antibiotics and was hooked to the monitor for 20 minutes. I took a little cat-nap and finally around 2 my contractions started back up - much stronger now.

The MW'S came back and noticed right away something was different. So they sat with me and DH while I labored. It was so nice having them all there. At 3 one of my MW's (Debbi) left to get her nurse clothes on and sign-in to work. She came back as my nurse and my other MW was still there (Marla) - sorta being my doula (since niether have delievery privleges at the hospital due to policy problems in VA)....

Ever since my contractions started back up at the hospital - It hurt in my tailbone and back a LOT.... and so DH was with me- letting me lean on him, and my MW Marla was putting pressure on my tailbone. It helped - but not much.

At 4pm (24 hour after my water broke) the OB came in. She was not my doctor - but I'd met her before and she was really good (she delivered 2 of my doula clients babies). She checked me and said I was at 7cm.

When she left - I labored by leaning on the birthball that was on the bed and Debbi filled the tub. I got in the tub and tried all sorts of positions to ge comfortable - but the tail-bone labor was too intense, nothing was making it feel better - not even the pressure Marla was doing was helping at all anymore. I was on my hands and knees in the tub for about an hour and then decided to sit - that kinda helped - but by then my contractions were coming with only about 30 seconds between them. They were very intense - and I thought for sure my tailbone was going to break off.....

Debbi came back in and checked me at 5. I was 9cm - almost 10. and I started feeling pushy....So she told me not to push if I could help it.... but by the 3rd contraction I couldn't help it....so the MW checked again and said I was fully dilated - but had a lip of cervix and so she held it back on my next contraction and it went away.

I had about 6 more contractions while in the tub and Marla and DH were rubbing my back and helping me stay focused. The pushing got so strong that I couldn't do anything but push - and it made me push REALLY long (like 30 second long pushes). It was so intense I was worried I wouldn't be able to keep it up. Plus my tailbone was SOOO painful by now! Debbi said that she paged the OB (who had to catch the baby even though I would rather have had Marla or Debbie do it).... and I planned to get out of the tub and be on my hands and knees for pushing, or maybe squatting.... because I knew from research/doula-ing that being on your back/tailbone makes you more likely to tear......

But when I got out of the tub- the only way I could be with those strong pushing contractions was sitting on my tailbone. any other position was terrible. I think it was the counterpressure that made sitting tolerable. The OB came in and watched me push through one contraction - she said I was a great pusher and couldn't believe that I was pushing that hard for 40 seconds or more without taking a break. She kept trying to tell me to do 3-4 pushes per contraction - but I could only ever get 1 or 2 pushes in because they were just SOOOOOOO long and SOOOOO strong that I couldn't have stopped them if I tried.

My sister had been driving all day to VA from GA to be there for us - and she arrived at 5:50pm - and Rosalie was born at 6:04.

I ended up having a 2nd degree tear partially because of my position, and partially because I couldn't ease up on my pushing at all when she was crowning and coming too fast and hard because of how I was pushing - but I couldn't stop when they told me to slow down my pushing.....

Rosalie's apgars were 9 and 9 and she took several tries to start nursing, but now she is really good at it. I think everything went really well! I was so happy to have my 2 MW's, DH and my sister there. And though I was SOOO hoping for a HB etc., I know that I did the best thing because I would have been a worry-wart these first few days if I would not have gotten the antibiotics since my water was broken for so long. I'm really happy about how everything turned out Biggrin

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Today's update:

37 weeks tomorrow - I've been on spring break from work all this week, but spent most of it traveling to MI to see family, then home for one day, and my MIL has been here the last 2 days. DH has had a fever off and on, DD has had 1-2 bouts of the runs each day and neither of them have been eating much. I REALLY don't need to get their germs right now.

I did get a chance to finish the quilt I made for the baby though. I use it for a floor blanket really - not in the crib, but it does match the crib set i'm making.
I have to go back to work tomorrow for 3 more weeks. SOOOO not looking forward to it. I'm feeling resentful of work when I really just want to sleep and garden while I wait for baby. It doesn't help that DD is up crying every hour all night long w/ a stomach ache.
I did also manage to plant 3 flats of seeds this morning for our garden. Lots of great things: 4 varieties of tomatoes, 3 varieties of sweet peppers, 2 hot peppers, eggplant, 3 kinds of zucchini, all sorts of herbs - and DH's favorite - basil - which I planted 4 varieties.
It's raining today though, so I'm up for a nap, though I'd rather just dig in the dirt instead and plant the alyssum seeds that will hopefully cover our front muddy hill w/ flowers this year.... hopefully by this fall we will be able to get a load of dirt and hire someone to re-grade it, but until then I just need the dirt covered so it doesn't wash away.
Baby is kicking a lot and hurting my left ribs when I sleep on that side - so yeah, fun. I'm enjoying this last pregnancy though.
I get Friday the 2nd off of work, so I'm having playgroup at my house for an egg hunt, then a 1:00 doula appt., then a 3:00 doc. appt. for DH to schedule his vasectomy....

kvo
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I told DH about your GR experience and he was not at all surprised.

rsu
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Thank you for posting your DD birth story! I love reading natural birth stories for first births - I have this hangup that "first births are always the hardest" and fear that I'll just turn into a mess and beg for an epidural.

Sorry to keep a side thread going in your lodge, but when I lived in GR, GVSU began offering domestic partner benefits for its employees. Several of the large businesses in the community, who also happened to be clients of my employer, said they would no longer donate to GVSU because of this. I was on the diversity committee for my firm and had been pushing an initiative to also offer domestic partner benefits, and I was flatly told from one of the rainmakers at the firm that no way would this happen because we would lose the business of those certain clients.

After I left the firm, that rainmaker was disbarred for misusing firm funds and his major client went through a bankruptcy with several issues arising about misuse of funds by the owner... way to go karma!

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"klmj" wrote:

I hope you can get an anti-intervention nurse when you check in. I really think the nurses I had for both deliveries really helped out & made things easier for me. Plus, the possibility of the CPS stuff (which I'll say again I think is total cr@p!) makes it really important for you.

That's cool the hospital has a birthing tub -- do they actually let you deliver in it? Is that something you're even interested in? They had tubs in each room at my hospital, but you can't deliver in it -- just for laboring.

Yes, they do let you deliver in it, but they want you to get out when it's time to deliver the placenta. I just am not certain I'll like the tub. It has a seat in it, arm rests, etc. And I'm much taller than the average person, so I'm not sure how comfortable it will be to use it. I mostly see myself in a tub, more on my knees, leaning forward, and I can't see how I'd be able to do that if there is a hard plastic seat moulded into the bottom of the tub. I'm going to ask for it though when I arrive - even if I don't birth in it, at least it's a warm tub in my room.
The actual birthing rooms are nice - wood floors etc., but the only have a toilet/sink, and no shower or tub. If I want to use a shower or jacuzzi tub during labor I'd have to go down the hall and use the ones that are in tiny rooms and lined up side-by-side, and if you get pushy, they make you get out and go back to your room. :roll:

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That's weird they have a seat molded into the bottom. I spent most of my time in the tub on my knees leaning forward. That or standing. I hope you can get the room with the tub!!

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It's not a room w/ a tub - they only have one birthing tub - and it's the moulded one. They wheel it into your room and fill it for you if it's not already in use.

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TFS your birth story!

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Alright - so I just got a phone call - my GBS was negative :woohoo: which means they won't "require" me to get antibiotics during labor - which also means I don't have to have a hep-lock! Biggrin

So here's a bit more to my story.
After my DD was born, DH went into a bout of depression that lasted almost 6 months. He even went to the doctor to get help, but they ignored him. At the time we lived out in the boonies and he does not drive, so he felt very isolated. He said that we would NEVER have another child. I was so heartbroken because I badly wanted another child, and I wanted them close in age. He insisted there would be no more because it was too hard on him. Mind you, I was home w/ DD the entire time and even took her to work with me when I went back part time.

SO I spent the next 2 years trying to get over NOT ever having another child. We had since moved and bought a new house and I was just about over it. I really thought that I maybe could just move on. Well in the early spring, my grandmother died and so I took DD with me to MI for the funeral and to stay with my dad for a week. DH did not come. When I got home DH told me that he thought we should have another child. I literally laughed in his face. I told him that it wasn't even funny and those kind of jokes are the worst kind because he knows that it was something that was really important to me. He then got this super serious look on his face and said that he missed us very much and felt like his life role had changed and that his identity was of a father now and that he liked it and felt ready. I then told him that he BETTER not be joking, and that I still didn't believe him. That night he wanted to TTC, but I had to remind him that it would mean a winter baby and that it would be much better if we waited a few months to TTC so that baby would be born at the end of the school year in the spring - which is better for my job etc. So we waited. During much of that time he was very sweet and mentioning baby names etc. When those 3 months were up - I reminded him that next cycle was the one - and then he got very quiet and refused to come near me. I was beyond pissed. I took DD and we literally moved out to a hotel for 2 days. When I came back we had a long talk. He told me he thought he could be ready, but he was scared. I told him to suck it up. And after much much more talking - he finally said he was ready. So we TTC, but didn't get pregnant that cycle. THe next month we had a family vacation planned at my mom's cottage - with DH, me, DD, my mom, and my sister, all staying in a 2 bedroom place. We would have absolutely no privacy -so the whole TTC thing was going to be tricky. Plus the only beds in the whole place are crappy ancient things - all dusty w/ popped springs. DH decided that he was sleeping on an air mattress in a tent in the back yard. DD and I slept in the house on the crappy beds in the same room as my sister, but I did go out on a couple nights to try to TTC - and evidently it worked because here I am w/ a lodge Lol

kvo
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Holy crap Jodi, I knew that DH got "cold feet" when it was time to TTC again, but I didn't know you actually left the house. I don't blame you though. You are actually a LOT more patient and understanding than I am.

We also rent a small 2 BR beach house with the ILs and ended up DTD in the bathroom standing up...lol. The ILs came to stay with us for 3 weeks the summer we TTC Zoe and we ended up on the floor next to the dog's bed. It was quite comical.

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Thanks for sharing your birth story! Hopefully you won't have the painful tailbone this time around, that sounds quite bad!

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That must have been tough dealing with a newborn and a depressed dh. You are a strong mama! I am glad that you worked things out with your dh and now have a new baby coming soon. How is he doing with the impending arrival?

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"Melychang" wrote:

That must have been tough dealing with a newborn and a depressed dh. You are a strong mama! I am glad that you worked things out with your dh and now have a new baby coming soon. How is he doing with the impending arrival?

I'm doing fine - just in the waiting game really.
He's starting to worry that it will happen again w/ the depression, but I really don't think so. We had basically no support system last time, and hardly any friends (other than those that lived really far away) - and we felt very isolated.
This time our neighbor has said they are inviting us to dinner once a week, we have a great playgroup, and a very walkable and friendly city, so DH feels very much at ease here. He actually calls this place "home" - which is saying a LOT since he moved every year or so during most of his life because of his parents constantly moving (divorces, remarriages, new jobs etc.)

I'm hoping that he avoids it this time - and I think it's very possible.

**** SO question for you all - I had a planned homebirth last time, so never really packed a hospital bag. I mean, I had a change of clothes in a bag by the door and a spare toothbrush in there - but other than that, not much. When we did end up leaving for the hospital, I grabbed a couple of baby outfits out of the drawer and my hairbrush/meds....

I kind of feel awkward packing a bag w/ a bunch of stuff since things went alright last time. I have some basic stuff set aside (like sample size soaps etc.) -but I feel like I "should" pull together some clothes in a bag, and some stuff for DH - though we only live a mile from the hospital - so he can easily come home whenever he wants. That also makes it easy in case I decide I need something...... So what do you think? Do I really need to pack? I'm hoping for an early release - and my MIL will be in town to watch DD (hopefully - she lives 3 hours away). So she could bring stuff too if there is some reason we have to stay longer in the hospital.

And I decided that even though I'm due the 19th, I'm going to have a Tax Day baby on the 15th because the new moon is the 14th and I just have this feeling that it will determine when I go in to labor Lol

kvo
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I packed waaaay more than I needed. We live about 10-15 mins from the hospital and DH was able to go home several times to feed the cats (we boarded the dog) shower, change etc. I don't think you will need to pack him anything given how close you live.

If I end up going to the hospital, I will take:
going home clothes for me
1 pair of underwear that can get icky
going home outfit for Liam
blanket for Liam (it's likely to still be a little cool here in June)
shampoo, conditioner, face wash, toothbrush and toothpaste
copies of birth plan
my meds
a couple Luna bars for me to eat during labor if I feel the need
my computer
camera
phone & charger

If I go to the birthing center, which means a short stay, I will take:
outfit for Liam
blanket
nightgown for me
underwear
pads
snacks to eat while in labor and for DH
camera
phone

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So I've got a whole lot of nothing going on as far as impending labor. But my next appt. w/ the MW is Monday.
My job (K/1 teacher) is going to be the same next year probably. It's fine, but it's hard to teach 2 grade levels well simultaneously. Our district is short about 2million and so they are transferring and firing teachers. Thankfully I'm not in that group - but there is a straight 1st spot at my school now due to a RIF notice, and I asked my principal to have it. She said no. I'm kinda peeved.

We had an egg hunt yesterday in my yard w/ friends from the neighborhood and playgroup and everyone had a great time. It was awesome weather. Now I have only 10 days left of work - assuming baby agrees.

Next weekend is the semi-annual baby consignment sale. I've already put %99 of my maternity clothes on hangers to be sold. DH went in for his vasectomy consultation yesterday. I'm ready for this all Smile .

Next I need to go through the bag of old stuff from DD to decide what is spring/summer and is sellable. I've got to type it all in by Monday.

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Sounds like things are moving along. I hear you on the depressed DH, mine has off and on depression for the last two years. I think having a support system will help though. Funny about the conception. This one was also concieved while staying with family when it was not so convient.

kvo
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I'm sorry about the job disappointment. At least you didn't get RIFed. I had a similar experience a few years ago where a position came open to take over 8th grade HR instead of 7th and I really wanted the change. I had a lot of good reasons for why it was better for me to take the HR than to give the responsiblity to a brand new teacher, but my boss said no. I was really hurt and angry, but honestly, it turned out to be a good thing for me not to have all the extra responsiblities that come along with 8th grade HR that year. For example, they went on a big trip to the east coast for a week in May when I was 30 weeks pg with Zoe.

I know how hard it is to do split classes though. One year I had 6th and 7th grade language arts during the same period. Lots of juggling.

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Well I went to my 38 week MW appt. and things are measuring perfectly on all the things - so totally uneventful. She did say that baby feels chubby- and this might end up being the first reported case of butt dystocia Lol
I'm feeling like this baby is going to be chubby compared to DD. She was born fairly skinny - this one though I'm sure will be bigger. DD was born at 7lb 4.5oz and 22 inches at 39 weeks. I'm guessing that this one is already that size.
Now I only have 9 more days of work and things are going well. I've set aside about $290 worth of baby/maternity/kid stuff for the local 2x a year sale. Hopefully it sells well and I can pay off some stuff.

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Uneventful is good! I hope you sell off your maternity stuff easily!

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Your midwife sounds funny:) I'm excited to see this chubby baby!! Hope your stuff sells for you!

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I have heard squishy babes are easier to birth. Smile

I hope all your stuff sells!

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DS was a squishy baby. After his head came out, the rest was easy. GL on selling all that stuff. I need to get on selling some stuff off as well.

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Well, I've now lost my ankle bones. This did not happen w/ DD's pregnancy - even though hers was in late July! It was WAY hotter then than it is now....I think it's because I'm still working and on my feet all day.
Only one more week of work though!
Oh and today at work, the room parents had the kids to a surprise "baby shower" for me. It was really cute. The kids (K & 1st) wrote notes w/ permanent markers on the outsides of NB disposable diapers for me and the baby. They crack me UP! They also used some soft clay to make a baby out of clay that they think will look like my baby. Those were VERY interesting Lol

Yesteray my DD was very very bad. - it's mostly DH's "fault" sort of. He watches her all day while I'm a work and he put her down for her nap and then went to the back o the house where his office is to get some work done.... well she wasn't actually asleep and snuck out of her room, went into the bathroom and very quietly stuffed both the tub drain and the sink drain w/ toilet paper - filled the sink w/ water - overflowing and gave her babydoll a bath in it - and used DH's toothbrush to wash it Lol Then she climbed up on the counter and got a huge tub of vaseline out of the medicine cabinet and "painted" on the livingroom windows.
Needless to say, when I got home DH was quite frazzled, so I took DD to the mall for 3 hours where I let her run around, we got chinese for dinner, and went shopping with our $25 gymbucks. I got a cute outfit for the new baby for sibling pics. DD fell asleep a few blocks from our house - around 6:45pm.... when usually her bedtime is around 8:30 - so I went out to the 2x a year consignment sale and got some things - really not much - just a couple tank tops for DD, a 50spf sun hat for baby for when we have to go to the beach for a family memorial thing this July, a little striped outfit and 2 G-diaper covers ($1 each! and new!)... grand total $7. I'm sure the 4 hours last night on my feet - and then again all day today is why my ankle bones are gone.

Anyway, no sign of labor yet at all. Other than being a bit extra achy in my pubic bone and lower back.... I'm still thinking this one is here for the whole 40.

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he put her down for her nap and then went to the back o the house where his office is to get some work done.... well she wasn't actually asleep and snuck out of her room, went into the bathroom and very quietly stuffed both the tub drain and the sink drain w/ toilet paper - filled the sink w/ water - overflowing and gave her babydoll a bath in it - and used DH's toothbrush to wash it Lol Then she climbed up on the counter and got a huge tub of vaseline out of the and "painted" on the livingroom windows.

Love it!!! But please put locks on the medicine cabinets NOW!

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Yep - we don't have a lock on it because it's original to the house and is from the 1920's and we can't get a child lock to fit it - so the only things in there are vaseline, non-flouridated toothpaste, toothbrushes, hair ties, and some organic olive oil lotion.
All the MEDS are in a locked cupboard in the kitchen - up very high.

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Wow - DD was quite busy!! It's a cute story, but I'm sure it wasn't cute at the time.

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I'm sorry, but your story cracked me up. I also have a mischievous toddler so it's nice to sometimes hear that my kid isn't the only one who does stuff like that! Nothing a little shopping can't fix, right?

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Oh your poor dh! What a day! Toddlers....you gotta love them!

kvo
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You should write a book about all of Rosie's adventures. She seems to enjoy playing in the bathroom a lot.

I came here to check in specifically b/c I had a feeling you were having the baby today. I know what you mean about the swelling being worse. I am beginning to swell already and it's really cold here still. I'm certain it's due to working whereas we had about 6 weeks off at the end of our pgs with R and Z.

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