~*~*Sarah Jean's (Sarah-Jean) Birth Lodge*~*~

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
~*~*Sarah Jean's (Sarah-Jean) Birth Lodge*~*~

Ohhhh, I get start my first lodge! I'm guessing there isn't one for you yet as I don't see it. I hope I got to it first:) WELCOME!

Mrs.KC's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 603

Hey Vanessa! How fun to start a lodge!! she does go by Sarah Jean.

Welcome to your logdge Sarah Jean!!!! whooohoooo!!!!:D

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thanks Rachelle, I got it fixed, now you can come on over Sarah Jean! Can't wait to hear your story.

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

Yahoo I can't believe I've reached the stage of needing another lodge!!!

Just a quick (hopefully!) introduction for my lodge... This is my third time on this board now so I won't bore you all with things you probably all know already!

My name is Sarah-Jean, I'm 26 and have been married to Martin, who's 31, for 8 years now. We have five children - four boys and a girl who are aged 7, 6, 4, 2 and 1 and I'm due baby #6, another girl, on the 25th October 08.

We live in the UK and I am under the care of a wonderful independent midwife, Valerie Gommon, who I used for my last pregnancy and birth too. I was induced due to Pre-Eclampsia with DS1 and DS2. Had a natural hospital birth with DS3. Fought for a home water birth and got it with DS4 and went with my current midwife for my home water birth with DD1. I'm lucky in that I have really easy births, but really difficult pregnancies and I'm classed as a high risk patient. Thankfully my Ob and my midwife have worked really hard to help me achieve the birth I want, so that's good.

Previous birth experiences;
DS1 - 4hour labour, weighed 8lbs 2oz, no complications, induced due to pre-eclampsia using one dose of prostoglandin gel
DS2 - 2hour labour, weighed 7lbs, no complications, induced due to pre-eclampsia using one dose of prostoglandin gel
DS3 - 6hour labour, weighed 7lbs 5oz, meconium present but otherwise no complications, natural hospital birth
DS4 - 4hour labour, weighed 7lbs 9oz, no complications, delivered into my own hands at home in a birth pool
DD1 - 5hour labour, weighed 10lbs 2oz, no complications, delievered into my own hands at home in a birth pool

The main issue I have with labour is I have weeks of pro-dromal (sp?) labour and so never really know for sure when the real thing starts. I almost had DS1 in a toilet, DS2 was born in the middle of a ward during visiting hours, DS3 was almost born without a midwife present, DS4 was almost born without a midwife present and DD1 I was convinced was a false alarm but thought I'd be careful just incase.

After my last baby I was very ill and almost died thanks to my lungs being riddled with blood clots. I was actually told to be sterilised after my last baby but just couldn't do it as I felt that I was supposed to have an October 08 baby (specifically!). So we took the risk figuring what would be would be and lo and behold got pregnant. I was on Warfarin when I got pregnant so there was some concern that our baby might have some issues but we have been lucky and blessed that it is not the case and she is fine and healthy. I found out I was pregnant quite early though so was able to come off the meds very quickly before any damage would normally be done (think the most damage from Warfarin normally happens between 6-12weeks - I came off it before 4weeks!)...

A lot of people have opinions on how stupid it was for me to get pregnant again, but I guess I just believe in fate and I sometimes get "feelings" on things. For instance I knew my DS3 would be born on his EDD. And I knew my DS4 would be due and born on Xmas day even though initial calculations were later, scans showed otherwise and I did indeed go into labour that day. I knew before I even got pregnant with my DD1 that I would have a girl on or within 24hours of my 25th birthday and then I became pregnant and was due on my birthday, and swore through my whole pregnancy I was going to go into labour the day before and have her on my birthday. I didn't end up having her on my birthday but I did go into labour on the day I said I would (and gave birth that day too)... I knew I had to have an October 08 baby. I can't explain how or why, but I knew it was meant to be and I'd live a life full of regret if I didn't.

I am currently taking 80mg of Heparin twice a day, and will be dropping down to 40mg once a day from 37weeks! Woohoo, cos I am really needle phobic and I hate the constant jabs. I have a number of health issues. I suffer severe SPD and am currently virtually bedridden and unable to walk. If I want to go out I have to use a wheelchair or crutches. I also have been diagnosed with kidney issues - just waiting to find out what this actually means in real terms though. Oh, and for the moment we're pretty sure baby is breech.

This coming week I've got tons of appointments... Physio, ultrasound, an anaesthetics review (just incase I need surgery as the heparin complicates things in that I can't have an epidural or spinal block and I'm allergic to general), haematology and a midwife appointment too! LOL So it's all go now!

I can't wait to meet my littlest one. I'm really looking forward to the whole birth experience and breastfeeding again... And I'm looking forward to sharing it with you all!

Love,

Sarah-Jean

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

WOW! I don't know how you do it. I sure hope you don't have to deal with too many complications this time around. Do you mind me asking what SPD is? It sounds like you know your body and I hope your baby is born easily and with out any problems.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge!! Your the woman! 5 almost 6 kids! Is this your last one or do you have another feeling?;)

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

Do you mind me asking what SPD is?

It's a condition called symphysis pubis dysfunction or something like that! Can't remember exactly as I always just call it SPD! *blushes*

Basically my pelvis is too loose, my bones all crunch and grind together and my leg bones dislocate from their sockets. The front of my pelvis is out of line and my hips are squiffy. It's extremely painful and makes walking difficult even with just a mild case. I was told after DS4 to consider not having anymore children (at least for awhile) as normally the condition heals after birth but it's taken longer and longer to go away with each passing child... I have been offered a Csection if I want one, as you can't really spread your legs very well with SPD, but I don't want one unless I have too and I've managed to spread my legs far enough apart for a baby the last four times, so I'm sure I'll be OK this time too!

Is this your last one or do you have another feeling?

This is DEFINATELY my last one. I've been so sick this time around and taken such a huge risk to bring this little soul into our lives... I just don't ever want to take the risk again as it really sounds dramatic but it is my life I'm risking and I can't stand the thought of leaving 6 children motherless. I have been advised by every Dr to be sterilised after this baby, so I think that's probably what I'm going to do... Makes me a little sad thinking I won't ever experience all this again, but in another way I am so pleased I managed after all the trouble I've been through (this is my 12th pregnancy) to have four beautiful boys and two gorgeous girls. I am happy to finish there.

And if I get the urge for more when the kids are all older I can always foster! Biggrin It's something I've always planned on doing once the kids are grown anyway!

Love,

Sarah-Jean

mrskris10's picture
Joined: 03/27/07
Posts: 302

Welcome to your lodge!!!! Woohoo for the home stretch1

Okay, and this is a stupid question, but are you due Oct 8th??? or is that Oct 08 (as in 2008)

mommyto3girls's picture
Joined: 07/09/07
Posts: 256

Wow - you've been through lots. I wish you a complication free labour and delivery. Good Luck with all your appointments.

aotus76's picture
Joined: 10/01/05
Posts: 170

Welcome to your lodge!

Joined: 04/20/05
Posts: 323

wow, it seems you have great intuition. Hope you have a wonderful labor.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge! I am looking forward to reading your birth story!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

She has to be due in October of 08 since today marks only 36 weeks:) Thanks for the explanations hun, I am in total awe that you are doing this! I'm rooting for you to have a good last birth experience!

alicia715's picture
Joined: 03/25/08
Posts: 227

Welcome to your lodge!!!!

I commend you on going with your intuition! So many people just ignore it because they think it's silly. Not me!

I just don't know what to say about you're ability to have all those issues, have 5 kids under 8 y.o., be pregnant, and NOT complain about any of it. You're a much better woman than me.

I can't wait to get to know you better through the last few weeks ahead of you.

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

are you due Oct 8th??? or is that Oct 08 (as in 200

LOL Sorry I just realised it does look like I'm saying Oct 8th! I'm due on the 25th October... Although the 8th sounds good to me too at this point! LOL

and NOT complain about any of it.

Oh believe me, I'll be complaining lots! I get really grumpy the last few weeks and even worse when I'm in pain... My pregnancy journal is nothing BUT me complaining and *****ing!

Thanks girls for all the welcomes!

It's currently 9pm here and I'm shattered. I haven't slept properly in 2 days due to horrible back pain and painful braxton hicks. They seem to be getting worse now too although I'm pretty used to them but they seem to be starting to keep me awake at night. Urgh! So going to go to bed and hope I can get some sleep tonight....

Love,

Sarah-Jean

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge Sarah-Jean!! :thewave::thewave::thewave::thewave::thewave:

fuchsiasky's picture
Joined: 11/16/07
Posts: 955

Welcome to your lodge!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge!!!

:udawoman: 5 almost 6 kids :jawdrop: I think one is a handful :oops:

Sorry to hear your in so much pain :bigarmhug: Hope this one comes a little early for ya Wink

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Congratulations on your lodge Sarah-Jean!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Congrats on your lodge!!! Wow, you are strong woman!! Can't wait to hear more.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I hope your resting peacefully right now! Take care of your self as much as you can, I'm sooooo blown away that you can do it all. Your little girly is so close to being here, I can't wait to see her!

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

I am feeling a bit emotional today. Another bad nights sleep and woken early by DH and the kids who don't seem to think I need to sleep. My little sister is coming over today to do some work for my DH and then they're all going out to the city centre shopping whilst I am stuck here in bed alone... I bet he won't even bring me anything to drink or eat whilst he's gone.

And it's a case of the green eyed monster but I'm really sick and tired of being stuck on the top floor of our house, by myself, being ignored all day everyday. And I just know whilst they're out they will have such a great time and probably my DH will give my sister money to treat herself even though he's just paid her wages (he treats her like his daughter, she's 16) and he'll probably treat the kids too and I'll just lie here and rot by myself. He never gives me any money just to treat myself. Hell, it's Autumn here now and I don't even have a coat (not that I go out anywhere)...

It's like he just said to me that I could do some report writing for him whilst he's out with my sister shopping today. I know for a FACT I won't get paid £6ph like she does... I won't get a penny.

And now he's complaining at me because I "look upset".

Urgh... I'm sure this is just me being overly hormonal as I normally wouldn't be bothered and I'd normally like being left at home alone for the peace and quiet but I've been stuck in bed, ignored and alone for weeks now and I'm fed up with being treated like the forgotten member of the family. I swear if we had towers or dungeons here I'd be shut in one!!!! LOL

I hate being stuck in bed... I want to be able to walk again now please!!! Does anyone have any magic beans that'll make me all better?????!!! Lol

ETA: It gets better. He's gone now. Just him and my sister and left me to try and look after the kids from my bed. Sad How the Hell does that work? I thought he'd at least have the decency to take his own children for the ride - but nope. Apparently they aren't as important as other people are either. Urgh. Now I'm not just emotional - I'm damned angry. If he gets back and I find out he's given her money or bought her anything there will be an outright war in my house. Oh, and he didn't leave me a drink or anything to eat, just as I predicted. Thankfully the kids are more than happy to help me where I can't do things myself.

Love,

Sarah-Jean

MeesterMama's picture
Joined: 03/09/06
Posts: 296

Welcome to your lodge! I hope eveything goes smoothly with the birth and can't wait to hear about it!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: Your almost there! Only a few more weeks! Maybe you will go early with this last one!

mommyto3girls's picture
Joined: 07/09/07
Posts: 256

Aww sorry your hubby is being insensitive -my hubby can get like that near the end of my pregnancies too - stupid men :violent2:
I hope that he surprises you and brings you home something wonderful. Try and rest as best you can :bighug:

Mrs.KC's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 603

:bigarmhug::bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

alicia715's picture
Joined: 03/25/08
Posts: 227

Smack him upside the head once for me - I'd be livid!!!
:bighug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I would be just as mad as you are! That is totally crazy, what if someone gets hurt while he's gone, and your stuck in bed!! He better bring you home something, and it better be good. Is he at least bringing home a meal? You need to talk to him and help him understand this isn't ok. I understand that he's never been pregnant, but he needs to think of his wife and his unborn child before himself. I hope your kids are helping you out, and I hope you feel better soon.

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Welcome to your lodge!

I can completely understand your frustration at dh. I really hope he smartens up and brings you something nice.

But seriously, how is the world are you able to take care of 5 kids while being upstairs in bed? You are my hero! Somedays one is enough while pregnant.

I am looking forward to your journey.

ourfirstblessing's picture
Joined: 01/07/07
Posts: 1094

Sarah Jean, you have a lodge :eek: it seems like just yesterday you had the 'hoping for a valentine bfp and a halloween baby' WOW times flies! I'm so excited about Oct. lodge b/c that means Nov. ones are right around the corner.

Huge hugs, dh is being and *** and i'm so sorry :bigarmhug: if i were close i'd come over and help you!!!

I'm so looking forward to sharing you journey and i'm hoping that you get the birth experience you want and can get to feeling better soon!

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

Welcome to you lodge!

beccalina's picture
Joined: 02/11/08
Posts: 106

Welcome to your lodge Sarah-Jean!!! :D:D:D:D

keky's picture
Joined: 12/23/07
Posts: 163

Can you go along and be pushed in a wheelchair? I had a friend who had to go on bedrest but she went to the mall, etc anyways and just was pushed in a chair! I'm sorry you're having a hard end of your pregnancy!! You're almost at the end!!

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

Thanks girls. I did ask to go and said I could go in a wheelchair but it was obvious I wasn't really welcome. And no he didn't bring me anything home - he rarely/never does. Thankfully where the kids are concerned I have a stairgate at the top of the stairs where our bedroom is, so we just hung out and played and watched TV and my two older DSs helped by getting drinks and food and stuff for us all.

Today I am doing OK. I've got to get up to go and see my Physio today. She offered me a wheelchair last time I went but my pride got in the way and I said no (I've been hiring them when I need them)... I'm really hoping today she will offer it to me again as I desperately want one now so I can get out the house.

God I remember that blinky that said Hoping for a Valentine BFP and a Halloween Baby!!! Seems like ages ago I had that. I can't believe I was lucky enough to actually get a valentine BFP either...

Other than all that I am doing OK right now. I'm sure once I've been to physio my mood will drop again as it always results in extra pain and discomfort. We're supposed to be discussing birth positions this appointment - I don't really see the point if I'm honest, I've given birth with SPD before and know the drill already. I just want them to lend me a wheelchair as I can't really afford to keep hiring them.

On a complete aside, I've just noticed I've now got a double chin. Sad God I'm huge this time!!!!!!!

Love,

Sarah-Jean

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: Do you have a friend that could come sit with you??

Mrs.KC's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 603

You sound better today! Have a good appointment!:D

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I hope your appointment goes well today, I can't imagaine how your getting up and going to these places?! I always try to keep an open mind when I have to go listen to someone talk about something I already know about, you can always learn something!

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

Well, my physio appointment wasn't so great. My condition is getting worse and nothing can be done to help now it appears. I was too embarrassed to ask for a wheelchair but DH went in and asked for me after my appointment. My physio was supposed to be calling me to discuss it but she never did.

I'm sure she'll call tomorrow and if not my DH will chase her up but I was so looking forward to maybe getting DH to push me down to the school when he takes the kids or something - just so I can get fresh air. Sad Ah well! Never mind.

I've got an ultrasound first thing tomorrow... It's to see whether she's still breech and what kind of weight we might be looking at. I'm thinking she's still breech as I have a hard and very painful lump under my ribs and can't breath. But we'll see. If she is still breech and it appears she's going to be another big baby (Lacey-Rose was 10lbs 2oz) I'm not sure what I'll do... Whether I'll go for a version or hope she turns herself. I can't do a lot of the exercises to try and get her to turn naturally as I can't move much (certainely nothing like birth balls or kneeling on the floor)... If she's a normal size and breech I'll just go along with a homebirth as planned.

Thankfully my midwife is friends with one of the top UK independent midwives for breech births - so I'll get great care if I have a breech homebirth.

Wish me luck ladies... This little girl doesn't move much at all - so I'm thinking if she's breech now she's not going to shift herself in the next few weeks.

Love,

Sarah-Jean

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: Im sorry to hear your condition is getting worse. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

What a blessing to have a midwife assessable with lots of breech experience! That isn't always easy to come by.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hope you get a call back about the wheel chair. I bet that would make you feel much better just to get out of the house for a bit.

keky's picture
Joined: 12/23/07
Posts: 163

Glad you have such good boys to help you out! Hopefully you get the wheelchair soon so you can get out of the house more!!

Sarah-Jean's picture
Joined: 10/25/01
Posts: 1335

Sorry girls I'm going to post a whinge...

I had a presentation scan today and although it was good news in that baby is healthy, placenta is healthy, baby is cephalic etc. I'm quite upset as it showed her to be quite big already. From what I can gather her legs and stomach are measuring at 39weeks and her head is measuring at over 42 weeks. Her estimated weight at 36+3weeks is 7lbs 9oz already, and we're expecting approx another 2lbs to go on before term...

I know these things are just an estimate but I have felt for ages like she was big and everyone just blew me off like they did last time and last time I was right in that DD1 was 10lbs 2oz born at 39+6weeks. I know she's big already, I can feel it and I'm really dreading another big baby.

I have faith in my body. I absolutely do. I know that even if she's bigger than DD1 I will have no problems giving birth. My problem is that I have a lot of emotional baggage after my last birth and although my birth experience was great, the weeks following when I came so close to dying were not great. And worse than that before I survived everyone just wanted to sweep it under the table and forget about it, so even when I got upset about it everyone just basically brushed me off with a "well you're here today so it doesn't matter"...

I know my health issues had NOTHING to do with her weight... But I really wanted this time around to be completely different from last time around. And the main thing I hoped was that this baby would be smaller as that's the only real thing that COULD be different this time around as my labours are all so similar...

And now I find out I'm having another hippo. And the fear of dying has come rushing back and everyone just says to me "you had no problems getting out a 10+lber, this one will be easy" or "she'll still be beautiful even if she is big like Lacey" as if that's even the issue!!! Or telling me to think positive and that nothings going to go wrong as if that somehow protects me from death!

I'm just feeling really down now. The one and only thing I didn't want was a big baby. I wasn't even bothered if she was breech so long as she wasn't huge...

Sad

Don't even know where I'm going with this post so maybe I'll just stop here. Just a bit upset and a bit fed up that no-one IRL seems to get the fact that it's not her size or the birth I'm worried about. It just brings back too many bad and scary memories for me that I really don't want to have to face.

Love,

Sarah-Jean

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

That is tough about having a big baby - more so that it brings back so much unpleasantness for you. Is there anyone you can talk to or books to read to help you prepare for having a big baby?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm sorry you don't have someone to talk to as I really think that would help. Could you talk with your midwife? Talking usually something they are really good at, and they know how important it is to get your head in the right place, I think calling your midwife is a good idea. Because this has nothing to do with the baby, I think you should let them know that it's not her your worried it's you own safety. Maybe there are some herbal thinkgs you could be takeing now that would help? I hope you have a good day, and let us know if you find someone to talk with. Oh...as a side note, I know you know this, but u/s weights are OFTEN way off! Please use us for support when ever you need to we're here to listen and help when we can.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hugs to you sweetie. Being prego and go through everything that you are doesn't make it easier. You are in my thoughts..

alicia715's picture
Joined: 03/25/08
Posts: 227

:bighug:
Oh, I am so sorry that you have to go through this without any IRL friends there to understand what you are going through. You have some real fears that need some one-on-one attention. I agree with Vanessa that calling your MW may be the first step toward finding some help with this. Do you have a doula to talk to? And while it's not IRL, there are plenty of us on pg.org who I am sure would try to help you through this - either on this thread or through PMs. You are so right about not wanting to sweep it under the carpet - it will end up surfacing again. Please KUP on how you are doing with everything.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bigarmhug:

Glad to hear she is not breech..hopefully the u/s is off my some and she won't be as big as they expect her! Thinking about you! Smile

beccalina's picture
Joined: 02/11/08
Posts: 106

:bigarmhug: I'm sorry sweetie

Joined: 05/31/08
Posts: 1131

That sounds tough:bigarmhug:
It sounds like your issues are more to do with the experience you had AFTER the birth, not the birth itself. Is there any way you could go to a couple sessions with a counselor just to talk through some of that trauma and maybe come to terms with it a bit more? Sounds like even though you know size had nothing to do with your scare before, it is what you have honed in on to focus your fears on. If you can work through some of your scary experience (which it sounds like no one has let you do for some reason), it seems like maybe it would help you go into it less afraid?
Good luck, I hope everything goes just fine!

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