~*~ Ayla's (Aylaanne) Birth Lodge (prenatal) ~*~

218 posts / 0 new
Last post
kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219
~*~ Ayla's (Aylaanne) Birth Lodge (prenatal) ~*~

Welcome to your lodge, Ayla!! Biggrin

I look forward to hearing your story and sharing this journey with you!

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

Yeah!! Welcome to your lodge Biggrin

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290

Thanks Katherine! I was starting to wonder if I'd get one of these. Lol

I started writing my intro, but I got majorly distracted, and then I realized it was getting clunky, so I'm going to wait until later tonight and try again. But thanks so much!

w00t! my own lodge! :neonflower:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

welcome to the lodge mama!
xo

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

Congrats and GL on the homestretch!

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
Intro (37 Weeks)

Okay, here's my introduction.

My name is ayla, and I've been married to my DH, Alec, since 7/7/06. We were introduced by a mutual friend in 2002 and started dating in the beginning of 2003. Five weeks later, he was deployed to Iraq (he was a combat medic with a surgical team) and for the next 18 months we "dated" via email, IM, and the occassional phone call. It was incredibly difficult, but I believe it's only made us stronger today. During the deployment, his family opened their hearts and home to me, and as a result I am just as close with them as I am with him. I couldn't ask for better in-laws.

We waited two years after he got home to get married, both to make sure we still wanted to (Iraq changes a person, and it's ruined more than one relationship) and so that I could finish nursing school, where I was studying for my BSN. Unfortunately, I was unable to finish due to some massive administrative drama that I'm still trying to work out. This was in May of 2006, so it's been over a year and I'm still only a CNA. This has been VERY hard on us financially since I took out student loans expecting I'd be paying them back on an RN salary and now I'm making a third of that. I did discover recently that I may be eligible to take my LPN exam, and I'm exploring that option right now.

DH suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of his time in Iraq. He was in Baghdad after the official "end" of the war but at the beginning of the occupation. Things were incredibly unstable (though I hear they're not much better now) and he slept to the sounds of mortar fire. His unit came under fire more than once, but more traumatic to him was dealing with the aftermath of ambushes, explosions, and skirmishes. His unit saved a lot of lives, but he still saw military and civilians alike with the evidence of human cruelty, and more than one person died before their time in his arms.

I'm proud of him that he sought treatment early on, and I adore his therapist. He's on a complex combination of medications to control his symptoms, and is exploring vocational rehabilitation to get in a new career (Right now he's still working in surgery in a local hospital). He applied for and was approved for Veteran's Disability, and we receive benefits from the government monthly. This is the only way that we're able to make the bills some months, and it's also the only way we were able to get the mortgage for our house.

We needed to move because we were living in a three-room apartment with a cat and two guinea pigs. We were approved for the mortgage in January of this year and made an offer on a house the first week in February. I lost my job the second week in February, but by then we were already pregnant. We closed on the house at the end of March and moved almost immediately. Our new home is huge and has lots of room for this baby and however many siblings we may cook up for it.

Now the part that you're all interested in: This pregnancy and our birth plans. I'm due on Halloween, which is my favorite holiday, both secular and religious. My menstrual cycle "reset" last November which I believe was solely so I could be pregnant with a due date of Halloween. Throughout the pregnancy, I've held onto that due date as a sign from the Gods that everything's going to be okay. Not that I've had issues, I haven't. I had lots of nausea in the first trimester, but no vomiting. My blood pressure has gone up and down, but not to a point where we were worried. I've had mild constipation, mild dizziness, but nothing to write home about. Honestly, it's a little boring. Wink

We're planning a home birth because I've wanted a home birth my whole life. When I was 9, my little brother was born at home with a midwife, and I was privileged enough to witness it. Midwifery was outlawed in Virginia when my sister was born three years later, but I was there for that birth too, in the hospital. I'm incredibly close to my siblings and they're both invited to my home birth. I grew up believing that pregnancy and birth were normal and natural processes that didn't need fiddling with. I started looking for homebirth midwives when DH and I started trying to get pregnant, and found some right after I got my BFP.

DH was skeptical of home birth at first, but after I did two rotations in Labor and Delivery as a nursing student, came home crying most nights, and was able to convince him that a) normal birth is safer at home and b) I was willing to go to the hospital if anything went wrong, he was more open to the idea. When we got pregnant I scheduled two appointments: one with a classic OB's office and one with the homebirth midwives. Serendipitously, they happened on the same day. In the morning we went to the OB's office and met with a CNM there, who not only stated that the OBs felt that homebirth wasn't "a safe choice", but said that the CNMs in the practice didn't attend births at all. She also marginalized DH in the room, sitting with her back to him and pretty much ignoring his presence.

That night the HB MWs, Rebecca and Megan, came to our house to talk with us. They sipped tea in our tiny dining room (this was before we moved) and answered all of our questions, talking to DH as much as to me, including him completely, and generally being pleasant. When they left, it was obvious what our choice was going to be. We've done all our prenatal care with the two of them and their apprentice, Emily, except for some blood work that we did with an "unofficial" backup nearby. The backup we're using now is much friendlier toward home birth and their CNMs do attend births, and I've only seen them twice to get blood drawn, though I need to make an appointment for a UA and to talk about my transfer birth plan.

The bloodwork is the most modern technology we've used in this pregnancy. I've had no doppler or ultrasound measurements, so we don't know if it's a boy or a girl. My weight has been good, I'm measuring spot on, everything looks great. I had my 36 week home visit on Monday and the baby was deemed Low and Ready to Go, though Rebecca, my head MW, said that I wasn't sick enough of being pregnant to have a baby yet. Lol

I'm sure I could write more, but it will wait, this is super long already! Thanks for reading it, and thank you for your support!

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

Thank goodness! I'm tired of checking your blog all the time to see what's up with you and finding no update.:D

Are you feeling anything yet? Any signs that the baby is heading down? Do you have any music picked out? What's your birth space look like?

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

My MW decided to leave nursing for the same reason you opted for the home birth -- she left her first L&D experience during nursing school in tears. She was pregnant and thought, "This can't be the way it was meant to be."

And so, she's been a MW for twenty-something years.

I, for one, am quite thankful for her decision! Maybe you should check out midwifery Wink

Joined: 06/14/04
Posts: 12

Best of luck with your birth and on getting your Halloween baby! MY birthday is Halloween, and I have really enjoyed it all my life. I always have had great Halloween Costume Birthday parties, ever sine I was a little kid. It's really neat to have your own holiday Wink

I'm currently in nursing school myself, and pregnant with my second child. I decided to become a nurse after my daughter's birth because I feel that it is important that there be some L&D nurses out there that know about and support natural birthing moms. I just hope I can get through school without getting too frustrated and annoyed by the way things are in the L&D world now. I also hope to keep going with school until I get my masters so I can become a lactation specialist, because I think that is also super important in the hospitals.

Again, best of luck to you!

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
questions and answers

I can't believe y'all made it through my monster intro (and if you didn't, lie and pretend you did). Lemme answer some questions:

"amylizh" wrote:

Thank goodness! I'm tired of checking your blog all the time to see what's up with you and finding no update.:D

Are you feeling anything yet? Any signs that the baby is heading down? Do you have any music picked out? What's your birth space look like?

Sorry about the blog. I have an Open Diary which, despite its name, is more private than my blog is, so I can write more freely. I get hung up on feeling like I should be writing only about the pregnancy on my blog, and also I don't want to put too much of myself out there in google-able cyberspace. So sometimes I cross-post, but frequently I forget. I'll try to get better about that.

As for feeling things, I'm not feeling anything I think is pre-labor signs. I'm still not sure when I'm having a BH ctx and when the baby's just stretching, and I'm fine with that. At my last appointment, the MW said the baby's head was VERY LOW, and I can tell because it frequently feels like my pelvis is splitting apart. Other than that, I still just feel pregnant. I'm okay with that.

I don't have music picked out per se, but I am planning on having my fauxpod hooked up to some computer speakers in my bedroom and cycling through it. I did realize today that I have some music that I might want to set aside as "labor music" but I haven't really buckled down and done it yet. Maybe I'll work on that this weekend. And I'll try to take pictures of my birth space this weekend as well, to share with y'all. Smile

"kaype" wrote:

My MW decided to leave nursing for the same reason you opted for the home birth -- she left her first L&D experience during nursing school in tears. She was pregnant and thought, "This can't be the way it was meant to be."

And so, she's been a MW for twenty-something years.

I, for one, am quite thankful for her decision! Maybe you should check out midwifery Wink

Honestly, I went IN to nursing because I wanted to be a midwife. I discovered, however, that I'm really good at non-childbirth related nursing. As long as I stay out of hospital birthing arenas, I think I'll do just fine. I want to be a Med/Surg nurse professionally, and be a Bradley CBE/doula on the side.

Well, my dryer just buzzed, I'm going to go fold some laundry and be back later!

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

Halloween would be cool (not that I want to wait that long :lol:) My birthday's Pearl Harbor Day. Not nearly as fun of a holiday. Biggrin

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

I think being a Bradley instructor or doula would be so cool. It's not something I could do now, but in the future . . . you never know. I think I'd probably love being a CNM, but I don't have the heart for nursing school. So, maybe one day I'll get certified as a doula and be involved in NCB that way.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
37w2d

The last two days I've been doing a LOT of laundry. DH and I went shopping over the weekend and got oxyclean and vinegar, which I wanted to use on diapers and baby clothes, and then my mom went to tag sales and brought me back another huge bag of baby clothes. Since I don't have any clothes that I felt comfortable actually putting on the baby right after birth, either because I wasn't sure how clean it was, or because it was fresh out of the package, I've been doing laundry.

First I did the diapers, which I still have to do a few more times. I washed them in a hot wash with detergent, along with all my receiving blankets that I need for the birth. I love receiving blankets. Next I did dark clothes, then two loads of light clothes. I have so many clothes! I had no idea how many clothes I had. It's been very exciting.

I have to work tonight, tomorrow, Sunday, then Tuesday and Wednesday. I work overnights, so I get in at 11p and I leave at 7a. I love working the overnight, I like the solitude of it, but since August I've had a really hard time sleeping during the day. I don't know why.

Monday morning I'm going to be busy, after my shift I have an intake appointment at a local mental-health office, then I'm probably going to go visit my husband and his coworkers at the hospital (he works in surgery), and then I'll head home, with a stop at my optician's on the way. I'm doing the mental-health thing because I have a recent history of depression with anxiety, though since I've been pregnant I've been really good. I just want to meet someone and establish a relationship with them while I'm still really good, so that if/when I get crazy, whomever I'm seeing knows what my baseline is, and knows my history. I've accepted that mental health professionals will be a part of my life for probably the rest of my life, and while I don't always need medication, I do always need to have someone to go to if I do need medication. My last psychiatrist was great, but he was only affiliated with the university I was attending, so I can't see him anymore now that I'm not a student.

My optician visit is more innocuous. For months, my glasses have had an annoying habit of loosening only one screw--the one that holds my left lens in. One day I was taking a nap and I woke up suddenly, put my glasses on, and thought I was having one of those "visual disturbances" my midwives ask about at every visit, because I couldn't see right. Found my lens in the bed next to me, along with the screw. I put it back in, nice and tight, and it happened again a few weeks later. Yesterday, it happened and I lost the screw. I have one of the screws from a repair kit in there, but it's too long and obvious and I hate it. So on Monday my optician is going to replace the screw and do something so it doesn't keep falling out.

Alright ladies, DH is almost home and we're going out tonight for Crawfish Pasta! I'm going to have killer heartburn but it's SO WORTH IT. I'm bringing some home to freeze and some home to eat later tonight while I'm at work. God that stuff is good!

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

I think your idea of meeting with a MHP right now before you really NEED one is excellent. I suffered from depression and anxiety throughout my early and mid 20s and I always worry I'm going to relapse. I made a list during my last pregnancy of things to do to help myself stay above water during the postpartum period. It included things like, get out of the house every day, continue taking Omega 3's, limit caffeine and sugar, exercise, journal, etc. It really helped for me to read over my list every once in a while to keep myself on track. I've been med free since '05 but I need to follow your steps and find someone just in case. I think a lot of my issues were related to lifestyle and bad choices, but I still fear it lurks in the background.

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

That's cool that you're doing the cloth-diaper thing Smile So are we. Between NCB and CDing, all of my cosmopolitan friends (which is just about everyone here in the city) think I'm a little weird. But, that's okay Wink Maybe I am a little wierd. I'm definitely not a "city kid!"

We're starting with CPFs and FBs. What's your plan?

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
37w3d and STUPID

I'm looking at pictures of babies in my DDC, and then looking over at my carseat which is sitting in my office instead of in my car, and thinking about this baby's first trip, which will be to Newport, RI, for Thanksgiving. And I just realized, I AM SO STUPID FOR AGREEING TO GO TO NEWPORT FOR THANKSGIVING. Seriously, if I have this baby when I think I will, on November 11th (41w4d) then the baby is going to be less that 2 WEEKS OLD when we're taking a four-hour car trip each way. To add to that, DH will be flying to Florida the Friday after thanksgiving (Nov 23) to be the best man in the wedding of the man who introduced us in the first place.

For the first time this entire pregnancy, I'm contemplating trying to get the baby out sooner rather than later, just to have more adjustment time before this trip. I can't believe I agreed to do this. I can't believe I said it was okay for DH to still be in this wedding. he's going to be gone for THREE DAYS. I mean, I'll be with his folks for most of that time, so it's not like I'll be alone, but still.

So I mention to DH that I'm thinking about starting EPO, and he asks what it is, and I say, "it has prostaglandins in it." Then I think a little, and add, "so does semen." (We've had sex ONCE since the first weekend in July) He gets the barb (though he's not likely to do anything about it) and says back, "what, do you want some on a bagel?" eew.

So, should I try to encourage my body to go into labor? Wait and hope that the babe and I are reasonably well-adjusted when it's time to go on this trip? Cancel, when I'm part of the reason we're going to Newport in the first place? Yikes. I'm so dumb.

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

Sam was roughly a month old when we went up to visit family. It was 5 hours to my 'rents and another 2 up to the ILs from there.

I rode in the back seat of the Contour crammed between the baby bucket and the door. I was miserable. As in, a month later we bought a minivan.

So you can probably do it, but I doubt you'll be happy. And you probably won't feel like your normal self yet by then, depending on how things go (I had complications and didn't feel like me for a couple of months - bleeding, extra placenta that wasn't found until 6 weeks pp, uterine infection...).

I will admit that Dan was supposed to be in a wedding two years ago in NV. His best friend. And I freaked out because we'd just moved up here in August and had to take Sam to the ER for what they were concerned might have been kawasakis (or whatever that strawberry tongue thing is). It took a couple years for the friendship to become less strained (just recently) and it's still no where near it was before. Dan was supposed to be the best man too.

Tough situation Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge, I'm not here all the time but I wish you all the best. When your little one is tiny they are easiest to travel with as they sleep alot:) If you think you can handel it yourself then go for it, if your not sure cancel now so your less stressed about it. You could always call and say your comeing again later, but it would be one less thing for you to think about now!

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
37w4d

I've been thinking more and more about Newport, and I think I'm going to go. I posted about this in my DDC on MDC and there were lots of people suggesting that I might change my mind after the birth, and I might, but the more people suggest that I NOT go, the more I realize that it's probably better for me TO go. I love my in-laws, I feel more at home with them than I do with any of my family, and since, with DH leaving the day after TDay, I'm going to need family at my house or need to be at someone else's , I'd rather be with my in-laws than anywhere else. I'm sure it will all be fine.

Right now, though, i feel crappy. I've decided to start getting fed up with being pregnant so I can have a baby sooner, and lemme tell you, that's not hard. I feel like a whale most days, and my allergies are KICKING MY ASS. I have mild congestion with post-nasal drip. Normally I get something at this time of year, and I have a prescription for Allegra-D that I usually take. But I'm pregnant, so Allegra's out. I want to take some regular sudafed but I'm worried about the vasoconstriction and the baby. I did take a full dose of benadryl this morning to try and prevent the sore throat when I woke up, but instead I woke up groggy (and early) and the throat is worse. The congestion is that crappy kind that moves from one sinus to the other when you roll side to side.

Complicating this is that I'm still working nights at the assisted-living facility (ALF). I'm not sleeping during the day as well as I used to, and the lack of sleep is making it harder for me to fight whatever is making me stuffy, whether it's pollen or not.

I have a call into my midwife and she suggested drinking nettle tea, several times a day, but I don't LIKE nettle tea and it's going to take at least a day to start working anyways, if it works at all (there's a reason we have pharmaceuticals instead of straight botanicals). I'm going to drink some, anyways, because hell, I'll try anything, but I don't wanna.

I'm going to make some tea and eat some food and go back to bed. This sucks.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

HUGS hun, how are you today? I hope you get to feeling better, and that little one comes your way soon:)

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

I do regular tea with lemon juice in it and it helps some, but not a lot. Smelling peppermint oil helps too (I've read conflicting things on actually using it during pg so I just smell it).

I hate it when it goes from side to side - even when it's allergies it makes you feel like you're sick.

I hope you start feeling better soon!!

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

I hope you're feeling better today! Being sick and pregnant is miserable!

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290

I'm feeling a little better today. It helped that I took the night off last night and went to bed. I have an appointment in an hour and a half, I'll write a real update then.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
37w5d: Midwife Visit

I went to see the midwives today, and it was a nice visit. I was 15 minutes early and Rebecca was cooking dinner for her kids. I'm not usually early to my appointments, so I think that having an afternoon appointment really helped. Taking the night off last night also helped, I feel a lot better today, though I'm still not 100%.

The visit, as usual, was boring. We went over some material to share with my little brother, who I hope will be able to attend the birth. He's turning 18 this December, a fact which blows my mind since I watched him being born. His birth, at home with midwives, was what shaped my early desire to have a homebirth, and has helped me form my vision of nursing. However, he has Asperger's syndrome, which is in the Autism Spectrum, and he needs to be prepared for what's going to happen. My mom hasn't done ANY prep with him at all. I'm really disappointed in her. At my homevisit a week ago his questions were good questions but inappropriate to the situation and made it obvious how little he knew about what was going to happen. So I got a couple of videos from Megan, my other midwife, and some books, and he and I are going to go over them this weekend, I hope.

Both midwives and their apprentice, Emily, said that I looked different now that I was in late pregnancy. Maybe that means I can have a baby soon, though I still have no physical signs of that happening. Rebecca said I looked "ripe", whatever that means. Smile As long as it isn't a euphemism for "rotting" or "smelly", which is how I use it mostly, I'm happy. I'm measuring at 36.5cm and the baby is nice and low.

DH just called me to say he was coming home and I burst into tears. I don't know why I'm so weepy. Maybe it's because my laptop cable broke and I can't afford a new one, and so my laptop won't stay on AC power anymore (though I should try putting it on the desk, I haven't done that yet) so now I'm on his computer which I just turned on. Maybe it's because I just finished reading How My Breasts Saved the World, which is a cute little anecdotal breastfeeding book but which I couldn't relate to at all.

I feel ridiculous. Today at my MW appt Emily suggested a support group for me to go to, and I must have sounded like a snob when I said I felt that I was never comfortable at support groups. I grew up in support groups, literally. My mom used to go to them and she'd bring me and my brother along and we'd play in the corner while the grownups talked. I've never found a support group for people who were still novices, but were more advanced than the general novice population. I'm trying not to assume I won't have trouble breastfeeding, but I feel a lot more confident in my ability to recognize and address latch issues without help than a lot of my peers. I felt more comfortable in my DDC at MDC because many of them are second- or third-time moms, who have been there and done that, and our level of knowledge was the same, though this is my first pregnancy.

Yeah, I still have some first-time mom questions, but I've been preparing for this for so long, and I've done my share of nannying, that I feel pretty confident. Everyone says, "oh, it's different when it's yours," but I think the real difference will be that I actually get to do what I want for a change, instead of having to hold my tongue and my opinions to myself. It's my baby, so cloth v. disposable is up to me, crying and breastfeeding is up to me, naptime is up to me. I've taken care of so many new families where they had no idea what choices they'd make in certain situations, but I've been peed on, pooped on, puked on, called poison control, been to the ED, taken last-minute trips to the doctor, and I'm a health care professional now. I think I can handle it.

I think worse than anything is the feeling of being alone. I don't know any first-time moms who know as much as I do who can help me figure out what I don't know. My best friends all live hours away. The closest is two hours to Boston, the farthest is on the opposite coast. And now I lost my primary source of connection to them, my computer.

Maybe I'm so weepy because I had my Mental Health intake today and we talked about my history of having mental health issues. She asked me about my childhood, which sounds pretty easy on paper but was hell to live through. We talked about my nervous breakdown when DH was still overseas. We mentioned the fiasco that was nursing school and I admitted that I've been avoiding bringing it to a conclusion because dealing with them means I have to be in a dark, dark place. Maybe talking about all of that just made me more vulnerable.

Or maybe I'm just afraid that despite knowing more, reading more, learning more, and having more experience than most of the other first-time moms I know, I'll suck so bad at being a mother that I'll lose my kids. What if I suck at this? What if I'm only good at other people's kids?

Sorry, I didn't mean to put this all here. But I'm not taking it down.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

First off, welcome to your lodge! I hope your body continues to get ready for your baby's arrival! I empathize with your situation about wanting to make sure you're prepared for any mental health issues that might arise; I think that's very proactive and wise of you. Of course being a mom is hard, and I am sure it's even harder when you know so much about the health aspect of it.

Try to enjoy this time before your baby arrives and savor that time to yourself. I look forward to following your journey!

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
3am--no glasses

It's 3am and I've been awake for over an hour. I don't know what time my husband came to bed but I was sleeping hard for a while, then he came to bed and cuddled me and I had one of those burps where you throw up a little in your mouth, and since then I've not been able to get comfortable. He's been having huge issues with sleep recently, saying that every little thing wakes him up. I felt like every time I rolled over to drain the other sinus, every time I shifted the pillow to lift my head up more, I was waking him up again. Plus, the kitten went into crazy-night-kitten mode, so I'm awake.

Hmm, how about a picture post?

Me at 37w, taken three days ago:

My kitten, Purrl, who is cruising toward becoming chinese food at the moment:

DH and I on our wedding day:

My cat Peanut, who just passed away a few weeks ago. I'm still grieving, I think:
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Okay, I need to get my glasses or try and sleep again. Glasses ftw!

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

You do look ripe! All juicy and ready to go. Really glowing there, Mama.

For me, the time right before birth and the postpartum period is a time of major mental discomfort and a possibility for growth. I certainly don't welcome this all the time b/c it's painful, but it's necessary for me and clears out a lot of old issues and I think makes me grow as a mother. I spent the last one in a sort of a rage, angry that my mother died and I got stuck with a shitty step-mother, angry that I was alone and my baby was high-needs and never hushed, angry that I had to go back to work. I think I was actually depressed but my depression came out in a rage. Anyway, my point is that these emotions aren't rare and that they can have a purpose if you let them. I was able to journal and process my feelings about my real mother and come to peace somewhat about my step-m.
You are going to be the best mom for your child. Sure, you'll have days when you feel inadequate, but this is motherhood and this is how it goes. Try to give yourself a break. Hugs, Mama!

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

(((hugs))) Everyone wonders if they'll be a good mom. Even those of us who've already done it once wonder if we can do it again with a child and a baby. A baby who will probably be different than the one we got used to Lol

You can do it!!

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
38w

OMG I'm miserable. I finally called the CNM I'm using as backup and asked her if i could take a sudafed. Thankfully, she said yes, because I haven't been able to sleep for the sinus pressure. I worked last night, didn't get home until this afternoon because I had stuff to do, and then only slept three hours before sinus pressure and the gross ladybugs infesting my bedroom woke me up. Yes, ladybugs are cute and wonderful and eat aphids that eat your garden. Fabulous. They can do all of that outside without landing on me in my bed while I'm sleeping. That's gross. We have a small swarm of them in our bedroom, not for the first time. I'm totally grossed out.

Anyways, I said I washed all the baby clothes:

The first three piles from the left are all 0-3m clothes. The next three piles are 3-6, 6-9, and then -12 respectively. You can see my little orange bum cover on the arm of the couch.

Anyways, DH just got home with some lemon for me so I'm going to go spend some time with him. I took 30mg of sudafed, if I'm not feeling better in an hour I'll take another 30. God damn allergies.

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

Yuk! My parents' house used to get infested with ladybugs. I hated it. Everytime we were having company, my mom would walk around the house with the vacuum to sweep them into oblivion. That was pretty funny! Biggrin

Hope the sudafed kicked in and that you're feeling better!

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

We actually bought ladybugs this year because we bought a fruit tree that came with aphids Lol Fortunately, only a few ever got into the house. That would totally freak me out too.

The clothes look all cute lined up!!

I hope the sudafed and lemon is working for you. I'm drinking tea with lots of lemon juice in it right now. Damn allergies.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
38w1d

The sudafed kicked in last night and I felt SO MUCH BETTER. I took regular, 4-hour doses at work last night, and today I'm abstaining until bedtime, when I'll take another dose just to get some sleep. My coworker let me take a 90 minute nap last night and it was the best sleep I'd had in a while.

I almost didn't go to work, though. While I was getting dressed, I had a monster of a contraction. I haven't had many things that I would identify as Braxton-Hicks contractions during this pregnancy, though there have been some. Usually what I'm feeling can be described as either my uterus contracting or my baby stretching, because the tightness doesn't feel like it's all around, just in one or two spots. But last night, the sudafed got the baby all stimulated, and s/he was trying to start a conga line in my belly. I called DH over to feel it, so he would understand why I was saying "ow!" all the time and why it wasn't anything to worry about, and when he put his hand on me, it got tight all the way around. My lower back and pelvic floor felt the tightest and were the most painful. It was pain, and I had to stand there and breathe through it. It took about a minute.

DH, bless his heart and Bradley Method training, noted the onset of the contraction and the relative length (we don't have second hands anywhere in the house). We got a little excited, and decided if I had another one within ten minutes I would call in late at least, since I knew I wouldn't be able to drive through that. However, nothing else happened. Through the night, the baby moved around and the heart rate was good. I had some twinges but nothing like that one contraction, and no bloody show or mucus plug or anything like that.

Today I'm continuing to twinge. The baby is sitting nice and low in there, and I'm on my birth ball bouncing around. I didn't get much sleep this morning but whatever. I don't have to work again until Monday, when I will probably still be pregnant. As long as I don't get my hopes up, I'm good.

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

I'm glad to hear you have some days off in a row. You need to be resting up and getting rid of this funk you've got. Do you keep to the schedule of sleeping during the day even on days off or do you transition back to night?

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290

"amylizh" wrote:

I'm glad to hear you have some days off in a row. You need to be resting up and getting rid of this funk you've got. Do you keep to the schedule of sleeping during the day even on days off or do you transition back to night?

I used to sleep during the day on my days off. When I was at the hospital, I generally worked only three days a week, but since I was per diem, when I found myself in a rhythm of sleeping during the day on my days off, I would work more hours because I'd be more rested.

Since August, I haven't been sleeping as well during the day, rarely getting more than three hours in a stretch. For the last week, I haven't been sleeping well on my nights off, either. After the baby, we're going to seriously discuss whether I go back on nights. I love nights, I like the work better, but if it's going to screw with my system too much....

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

I did a couple of night shifts when I worked in a hospital and it seriously screwed with me. I get depressed easily when my rhythm gets thrown off. I knew some nurses that loved it, though and would never switch to days.
How much time are you taking off after the birth?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sounds like your in the home stretch now. I had one really stonge contractions like your describeing a couple weeks before Hadley was born. Gets your mind to play tricks on you:) Your job sounds like fun, I hope you can find a good balance after your birth.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
38w5d

I had a prenatal this morning, and it was a LOT of fun. I love my prenatals because we talk about everything. My MW Rebecca is a total spaz and so much fun to talk to. She sings sometimes, randomly. It reminds me of Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus on PBS. We talked a little about random singing during the labor, and I said I wouldn't have a problem with telling them if something they were doing was bothering me. I have a suspicion that I will be a major b*tch (ooh, I got censored!) during labor if something is bothering me, and a major sweetheart when nothing is.

I have leukocytes in my urine, but Megan suspects that's because I still have allergies, and since I have no other symptoms we're not worried about it. Emily took my blood pressure twice and was worried about how high it was, and then Megan took it at the end and it was still high, at 134/90. We are less worried about how high my pressure is now because it's been high earlier in this pregnancy (around 28wks or so) and it went back down, so we're adopting a wait-and-see approach. I'm keeping the water intake up and eating a lot of protein in the meantime. I'll have DH check it periodically this week and they'll check it again next week, assuming I don't have a baby.

I'm their only client right now who is close to delivering so I don't have to worry about that. DH brought them some expired sutures from his work (he works in the stock room in surgery) so they could practice their suturing, and Rebecca said that if she practices enough then she shouldn't have to stitch me at all. I'm glad we were able to give them the sutures since using new ones can be expensive, especially for practicing.

I still have no signs of impending labor since that massive contraction last week. I do have lower-back achiness reminicent of impending menstruation, so who knows? They assured me that it's entirely possible to go into labor without having had any signs at all. Rebecca said she didn't have any bloody show, any mucus plugs, and her water never broke until it was time to push. I think I might hang out with my mom on Thursday and talk to her about what signs she had. I want to hear her birth stories again. I've heard them, but I want to hear them again.

Mom thinks the baby's going to come in the first weekend of November. Her kids are going to be out of town, my ILs are going to be out of town, so it would end up just being her, me, DH, and the midwives. That's sounds pretty nice, though I still kind of want my siblings and DH's sister to be there.

Tonight starts my last two weeks of work. I'm not going back to this job, but I will start looking for work again after Thanksgiving, hoping to start around the new year. When and where I go back to work depends on a lot of things. Right now, though, I have to take a shower and get ready. My dad's supposed to call tonight, that should be interesting.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Glad your doing well and I hope your last weeks of work pass quickly and easily. I'm excited to hear your story and follow this:)

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
39w1d

DH got home today and said, "can you help me bring some stuff in from the car?" I figured that one of the women at work had given him a gift that was large and he wanted me to see it (or possibly genuinely needed help with it). I was partially right. Turns out that his department had thrown him a surprise baby shower, and his car was FILLED with presents. Some of them he had opened already, many of them he had not. Also, there was a chocolate cake, a big hunk of which he brought home for me ("I'm not going home and telling the pregnant lady that there was chocolate cake and she didn't get any!"). I am overwhelmed with the generosity of his coworkers, because there was a TON of stuff in the car. Among the outfits (many larger than newborn, for which I'm grateful) there was another Boppy (this one with a slipcover, thank goodness), several toys, some books, diapers and wipes, a laundry basket, and bath accessories. We even got a bottle of champagne and a pair of glasses, which I thought was very sweet. Now I have 23 more thank-you notes to write. Some of them may not get written until after the baby's born, though I'm going to try and write them at work this weekend. DH said that he had sat there during the shower just flabbergasted by the gifts and kindness of his coworkers. One of the cards that came with a gift specifically mentioned his good work and how appreciated it was.

These people are going to seriously miss him when he leaves.

I think I also forgot to mention that I finally made an interview appointment with a family practice nearby. This practice had been recommended by Rebecca, one of my midwives, and it's not that I'd been deliberately putting off contacting them to set them up as the PCP for me and the baby, but I kept forgetting. I don't need a doctor right now, I'm perfectly healthy. And yeah, the baby "needs" a pediatrician, but the baby's healthy too, so not so much. However, it's a very good idea to get established with an MD before the birth, and technically the baby's "supposed" to be seen in the first 48 hours. I told Rebecca that I felt that suggestion was more because they really had to make that suggestion and not because they truly believed it, and she said, "yeah pretty much". I have a list of topics I want to cover in this interview, including whether or not a home visit for the baby is an option, how they feel about me delaying vaccination until the baby is getting something other than just breastmilk for nutrition, and how they feel about not doing well-baby visits. I'm also interviewing them to be MY doctor, since it's a family practice and we can all be seen by the same doctor.

As a plus, I think I met the doctor I'm interviewing with at my knitting group last spring, and I liked her, so I think this will go very well. As a minus, it's scheduled for a time when it will definitely conflict with a midwife appointment, so I'm hoping we can move the midwife appointment to that morning, or the next afternoon. Trying to do all of this before my due date is a little daunting.

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

Yay for babyb gifts and chocolate cake! Wow, that's so great that you got lots of loot. Have you been putting it all away? I love doing that.

Let us know how the appt with the potential doc goes. We usually take our babes in about 2-3 days after the birth. Our ped is great and just does a nice gentle body check (looking for collarbone fractures, inside the mouth, checking out the muscles and skin tone, that sort of thing). We can get the PKU test then if we want and they offer Hep B vax (which we don't get at that point and they're cool with). It's a really simple visit and it's actually nice to get out of the house for an hour or so at about day 3 (well, at least for me) and it's fun to show off our newest addition.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

That is just the sweetest thing - I've never heard of any group throwing the daddy a shower. That is just so nice. And good on him for bring home a hunk of the cake. GL with the doctor interview.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290

I have a bunch of baby clothes and diapers that I need to put away. My crib still isn't put together and that's kind of bothering me. I also have a rocking chair that needs to be put together--I'm going to light a fire under DH's ass to try and get him to do that this weekend while I'm sleeping or at work. I'm going to clean out the dresser and put clothes in it today, and clean off the top of it as well. I'll take before-and-after pictures.

I'll be sure to post about the doctor's visit. I don't want to bring the baby in that soon after birth for several reasons. First and foremost, people go to the doctor's when they're sick, sometimes so sick that if it wasn't the doctor's office, they'd just stay home. You can clean all you want, there are still germs left over from that, and they're sick germs, not just regular people germs. So I don't want to expose the baby to that. My midwives can do the baby assessment and the PKU screening, and I don't want the hep B vax, so I really don't see a reason to take the baby into that germy environment.

As for getting out of the house, we have plans for visiting a small local restaurant that's really more like our next-door neighbors (in fact, we used to live next door to it), and I have knitting groups that I promised to bring the baby to. With flu season upon us, it's still rather risky, but it feels better to me than a doctor's office. There's also my MHP visit which will be pretty soon post-partum, but I'm going to try to do that over the phone if I can.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
39w5d

I had the MD interview today, and a midwife visit. The MD interview went great and I'm planning on having this woman as my PCP from now on. I'll also have her do the baby, that will make me feel so much better. My midwife visit went well as well, except my BP is still creeping up. 134/88. It was 130-something over 94 the first time we took it, which is never good. So now I'm under orders to eat protein every two hours, even if I don't feel like eating. We're trying to avoid having to send me to my backup for a liver profile and all that stuff. I don't have any other signs of toxemia, just the high bp. I'm glad my midwives aren't freaking out about it, but still, it's annoying.

I also had a nice conversation with my stepmother yesterday. I've never really gotten to know her, mostly because my dad is so threatened by me having any kind of relationship with anyone else. However, it was really cool to talk to her, even if she is an L&D nurse. Her idea of "safe" is my idea of "overmanaged", though she knows that I'm crunchy when it comes to birth and seems pretty accepting of most of my choices. I even explained to her how and why I was declining the eye goop and the vitamin K, and she didn't give me a huge lecture, which was cool. I skirted around the homebirth issue, though I think for the next baby I won't. I just didn't feel like getting into it with that side of the family, so I mostly just answer questions they have about the hospital that I'm using as a backup, and I never say overtly that I'm going there. I don't lie, but I definitely mislead.

Anyways, it was nice to talk to her. She said that she, my aunts, and my grandmother all want to come out and spend a day with me after the baby's born, just the girls, and I like that idea. They don't know how to deal with me, but I know how to deal with them and how to give them the parts of me they CAN deal with. So we can have a good time, as long as nobody spends the night. Lol

I feel like the only one who's still pregnant. All the threads on the first page of my DDC on MDC are birth announcements or post-partum threads (though I started one that said "I'm still pregnant"). All the other lodges I was reading are post-partum now, even one for Amy, who was due four days after me. I don't feel that birth is imminent, in fact, I've always thought of my "due date" as being the first day that it was okay for me to go into labor. But being the only one still pregnant is kind of lonely.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

:bighug: I'm still pregnant!

Just kidding. I'd be pretty lonely too. But I'm glad your visits went well. I hope you BP doesn't get any worse and the babe makes his exit before it gets out of hand.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm sorry to hear about your bp issue. I'm happy to hear you know how to deal with family members that you aren't 100% in tune with. I know I wish I was more able to do that myself. You aren't the only one still pg. There are plenty of women still pg out here and they just haven't had lodges set up yet Wink or they just don't have lodges because they lurk more than post. Heck some of the recent birth announcements are from moms that went past their 40 wk mark. So it seems like everyone is just now delivering. Your little one wants to be a spectacle Biggrin

I wish I could say more to make you feel better, but i know that soon you will be announcing your little ones arrival, and we will be celebrating it too.

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

Checkin' in and getting caught up on your lodge. Sounds like you've had a lot of fun the last several days. That's exciting about the "daddy shower" for DH. What a great idea -- and probably really affirming to him.

I'm glad, too, to read about your great visit to the MD. Interviewing docs is hard work. I "interviewed" one recommended by many of my friends and don't feel "committed" to him . . . if he doesn't work out, oh well! Smile It's tough to get a feel in such a short time, and I'm glad you are confident with this doc!

Hang in there! You're getting so close to meeting this precious baby!

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

How are you today? I know it's frustrating to be waiting (and sorry I beat you, man, but you know with the 4th and all...:wink:). What are you doing to occupy yourself? I'm thinking of you, Mama.

Joined: 02/25/07
Posts: 290
DUE DATE! 40w and counting.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

I love Halloween, it's always been one of my favorite holidays. Even when my mom stopped letting us go trick-or-treating (she said it was an excuse for gluttony and therefore not something she wanted to encourage), I loved the idea of Halloween, and I would dress up every year. One year in high school, I lied and told her I had play rehearsal so I could go out trick-or-treating. I had a blast.

The year before that, I actually *did* have play rehearsal and ended up losing my virginity on a break. That was twelve years ago. My the time flies.

Anyways, When I got the little "plus" sign on my stick, I went online and figured out my due date with several of the "due date calculators" that are available from various websites. When they all agreed that I was due on October 31st, I knew that there would be nothing wrong with this pregnancy. It was just too perfect.

I'm not having a baby today. I have some period cramping, but I've had that for a week. No bloody show, no mucus plug, none of that. I don't even have diarrhea--I'm constipated instead. I've been trying to eat every two hours but when the plumbing is backed up at one end, putting more into the other is not very comfortable. I did a great job of getting protein yesterday (96g), but then at work last night I stopped eating because I was so uncomfortable. I've had a yogurt and a bowl of cereal today but otherwise I've been letting the stuff move down my bowel.

I am making beef stew tonight, though. Two years ago, I was living with my now-husband and I made beef stew on halloween. That was the first year we had an unbelievable amount of trick-or-treaters, as we were living on the main street of our town, and kids came in from everywhere (outlying farms and other towns) to do the parade, the haunted house, and the trick-or-treating on main street. We had 20 pounds of candy and ran out. The next year, I planned for all the trick-or-treaters, bought a bit more candy, took the night off of work, and made beef stew again. I decided that beef stew on Samhain would be a tradition in this new household that we've created, and I've been looking forward to making it all year. Starting at about 4:20 this afternoon, I've been cutting meat, potatoes, garlic, onion, carrots and celery. DH helped by grinding up pepper in my mortar and pestle, fetching the pot off of the top shelf, and being an extra pair of hands when I needed it. Now it's 7:20, and I just added the carrots and celery, and am bringing it back to a boil. When the celery is al dente, I'll decide if there's enough room to add some peas, and then it will be done. The whole thing usually takes about four hours to do, and the first two of that is generally me on my feet, but it's SO WORTH IT. I'm bringing some with me to work tonight to share with my coworkers.

Tonight's my last night of work, and I've been saying goodbye to my residents. Some of them I can't stand, but many of them I'm very fond of, and I'm going to sincerely miss. One or two of them I'm not sure will still be there when I bring my baby sometime in December to introduce to them and take pictures. Either they'll be in a facility that offers higher levels of assistance, or they'll be dead. One woman has been inching closer to death since I've known her, and yet she's the most upbeat person I've ever met. When I was about 26 weeks, she told me she'd had a dream that I came in with two little girls in pigtails. I told her that if there's two babies (I haven't had an ultrasound) that one of them will be named after her. DH hates the name, but I don't care. When I told her that I'd be sad if she died, she pointed out that part of her spirit lived within me, and so it was okay if she passed on.

I hope, when I am old and my body is failing, I have such a wonderful, beautiful attitude. I feel honored to have gotten to know her.

Anyways, like I said, I'm bringing in some beef stew tonight, and probably a good bit of candy as well, since we haven't had any trick-or-treaters. One of my coworkers and I are going to hit the grocery store before we head into our shift, and we'll get some cookies and soda for the night, and we're going to have ourselves a little party. I'm excited, as much as I'm sad that it's my last night there. I won't be going back to this job for several reasons, and I'm going to miss it.

After tomorrow I'm planning on not driving. I may make trips to the grocery or hardware store about ten minutes away, but that's about as far as I feel comfortable going by myself. DH told me he'd chaperone me to knitting group on Saturday if I want to go, and he'll come home early from work on Monday if I'm still pregnant, to take me to the midwives. I think I'll still be pregnant. What do you think?

amylizh's picture
Joined: 12/25/05
Posts: 81

What do I think? I think that post is one of the best I've read. You sound excellent. I can taste your stew right now. Hope your last night at work is a great one and you can now focus everything on your little one. Are you sharing names or keeping it a secret?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I just read over your recent posts and I'm now excited to follow your last bit of being prego. How was your last night at work? I think I'll make a stew today after reading all about your, I'm wanting some:) Hope today finds you well, and I look forward to hearing about how your last night of work went. Do you think there is a chance your having twins? That would be too much for me to now know!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

You just made a preggie mama crave beef stew like something fierce! Do you mind sharing your recipe? How was it?

Lol, here I am posting for the first time on your lodge and all I've asked is about food Lol

How do you feel today? Any signs of anything happening?

Pages