~*~ Tamra's (ModernMother) Birth Lodge ~*~

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ModernMother's picture
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~*~ Tamra's (ModernMother) Birth Lodge ~*~

OK I hope it's totally not lame of me to start my own lodge. I haven't been here in a couple of months but as my due date is 11 days away, I would really like to have a place to chat and vent about how I'm feeling. Smile

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Welcome to your lodge! Yay to 11 more days! How are you feeling? Your siggy pic is too cute!

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Welcome to your lodge! Can't wait to hear more about you and your family.

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Tamra's Intro: Hello all, I have been hit and miss on this board for a few months. I have had a hard time posting on boards this pregnancy. I have so much going on at my house most of the time. I'm lucky if I have time to post on facebook. But as this pregnancy draws to a close I find myself wanting to curl up and do nothing for at least a small time before my little one gets here. I find myself daydreaming about a squishy little newborn tucked on my chest and I get so excited! I never thought I would be having this baby and she feels like such a blessing.

My husband David and I will be celebrating our 16th wedding anniversary on July 1st. Together we have six children, five are biological and one we adopted from India. Between homeschooling, my photography business and just general business of a big family we have a lot going on most of the time. I am officially on maternity leave and finally finished up with all of the kids' activities and am looking forward to some time to relax. Our children are Xander(14), Sullivan(11.5), Ahrana(almost 9, adopted at age 3 from India), Oliver ( 8 ), Finneas (4.5), and Virginia (2).

As far as births go, I have run the gamut. #1 labor started naturally but I got "stuck" at 8cms and finally opted for pitocin and epi. #2 was a traumatic face presentation labor where the midwife was patronizing and I felt raped, at a birthing center. I couldn't even fathom getting pregnant again for 3 years after that. #3. was planned for home, but at 12 days overdue and feeling extreme anxiety I went to the hospital for an induction/epi. Thankfully the birth went very well and was healing to me. But the lack of control over my own infant after birth made me never want to go to the hospital again. #4 was a homebirth on a birthing stool after a long labor and extremely painful second stage. It was much more painful than birth #2 but because of how I was treated I felt powerful and elated after it was over rather than traumatized. #3 was born peacefully at home in my hot tub after a relatively short (for me) 14 hour labor and 15 painful minutes of pushing. It was blissfully perfect and I am praying hard for another labor/birth that is similar. I am using the same midwife and we are both hoping for another hot tub birth. It was fantastic! If you would like to read the story/see pics go here http://todaysmodernmother.com/?p=606

Last Tuesday I went in for my third chance at a 4d ultrasound. We had tried several times to get video of her face but she was always either breech or transverse with her feet in her face and we couldn't. According to my 37 week exam the midwife and I were sure she was finally head down so I decided to go in. Much to my chagrin we discovered that she was breech! I had been feeling so peaceful about the birth but finding out that she was breech was so upsetting. I realized I would possibly have to choose between delivering breech at home and having a C-section. Honestly the C-section itself doesn't scare me, but the lack of control over my own infant scares me to death! My midwife suggested a Zen week of peace and not thinking about the prospect. I was all set to have my zen week when my 4yo son came down with severe stomach pains and ended up with an appendectomy this past Saturday morning. So much for zen! Hubby and my older kids were out of town and even my MIL was out of town. All of my main supporters were gone. Thankfully good friends (Chimmy included) were able to offer us support and watch over my 2yo. I was totally swollen and in pain by the time we got home from the hospital on Monday but during the ordeal I swear she has turned head down. I am praying that she has. The thought of delivering a breech is quite unnerving to me. I am kind of a lion during pushing and the midwife says I will have to stay calm. I just don't know if that's even possible. But I feel calm and peaceful about staying home either way. I know she will be born the way she needs to be born and I am hanging on to the faith that she knows what she is doing.

Anyway, that's me! Chimmy and my other friends are throwing me a Mother's Blessing tonight. Chimmy is going to massage me and do foot scrubs and lotions. For gifts I will be receiving perennial flowers to plant in my birth garden during early labor. I'm so excited for some "all about me" time. I am almost positive that this will be my last pregnancy and I so want to enjoy every last bit of it!

Thanks for reading if you made it this far!!!

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Welcome to your lodge!!!

kridda_88's picture
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Welcome to your lodge! I thought about starting mine too. Wink

A hot tub birth sounds like heaven. I wish we knew if ours worked or not. The previous owners left their hot tub when they moved and told us it was in working condition but we don't trust them so we need to check it out. I know exactly what you mean by the not having control of YOUR new born at a hospital. Both of my births were like that. My first DS they gave a bottle too with out asking and I never REALLY saw him till an hour after I had him. My second DS I held him for the first hour except when he was weighed and measured, but after one of his nurses flat out told me she was going to give him a bottle, sense she didn't see him nursing, DH and I yelled at her a told her she better not or there was going to be problems. So now that I just totally took over your lodge, Sorry about that, I know exactly how you feel about that.

I'm excited to follow your journey and I really hope your little girl will turn for you!

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Welcome to your lodge, Tamra! I'm glad you decided to come share these last days of your pregnancy with us.

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Welcome!!

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Welcome to your lodge! I hope she turns for you!

ModernMother's picture
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"kridda_88" wrote:

Welcome to your lodge! I thought about starting mine too. Wink

A hot tub birth sounds like heaven. I wish we knew if ours worked or not. The previous owners left their hot tub when they moved and told us it was in working condition but we don't trust them so we need to check it out. I know exactly what you mean by the not having control of YOUR new born at a hospital. Both of my births were like that. My first DS they gave a bottle too with out asking and I never REALLY saw him till an hour after I had him. My second DS I held him for the first hour except when he was weighed and measured, but after one of his nurses flat out told me she was going to give him a bottle, sense she didn't see him nursing, DH and I yelled at her a told her she better not or there was going to be problems. So now that I just totally took over your lodge, Sorry about that, I know exactly how you feel about that.

I'm excited to follow your journey and I really hope your little girl will turn for you!

Your are not taking over! It's definitely a discussion we can all weigh in on. I currently feel at peace about the whole thing so I am not worrying. BTW I am LDS as well. Smile We were married 16 years ago in the SLC Temple. Smile

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Last night was my Mother's Blessing and it was soooooo nice! Everyone brought me a flower for my birth garden (I plan to plant them when I'm in labor). SOOOOO many people came, even my midwife! I have way too many flowers for my garden. I'm going to have to plant them all over the yard! It was so nice to feel spoiled and listen to everyones wishes for a safe and peaceful birth and also listen to their birth poetry. It was really a wonderful night. Chimmy even massaged my feet!

I have my next midwife appointment tomorrow. I will be 38 wks 5 days. I really hope we can figure out if she's head down or not. Right now I just can't tell. It's so frustrating to be overweight right now.

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Sounds like such a nice mother blessing last night! I'm glad so many people came to support and honor you. Thanks for sharing your story. Sounds like you have had many different experiences with birthing. So sorry about your 2 year old, how scary. Hope LO has turned for you and is getting ready to meet her family!

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What a nice sounding mother blessing! I wish I knew more like minded people IRL. You are blessed to have that! Hope your visit goes well with the MW and LO is head down.

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I'm a terrible friend! I totally would of started your birth lodge but thought you weren't around anymore ~ my bad :oops: SO glad to see you here!!! Welcome to your lodge my dear friend - your birth is going to be beautiful! The blessingway was a lot of fun!

:bighug:

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I'm glad your mother's blessing was so nice. It is great to have such support.

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"Watermelon_Gypsy" wrote:

I'm a terrible friend! I totally would of started your birth lodge but thought you weren't around anymore ~ my bad :oops: SO glad to see you here!!! Welcome to your lodge my dear friend - your birth is going to be beautiful! The blessingway was a lot of fun!

:bighug:

That's OK! I check my birth board occasionally but hadn't posted much. Thank you sooooo much for the wonderful massage and lavendar salt scrub tonight. I feel great! Oh and I love my cute toenails too!

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I had my midwife appointment this morning and she is calling this baby officially head down! She found the heartbeat pretty low and it seems like I have also dropped a ton because I went from measuring a HUGE 52cms to a big 47cms (totally normal for me). She is guessing only an 8lb baby. I'm glad. I have had three 8 lbers and two almost 10 lbers and I definitely prefer them smaller.

I am really feeling peaceful about this birth. I am so excited to meet my little girl! I can't believe I'm only 8 days away from my due date! Crazy! Yahoo

My hot tub is all prepped and ready to go. I have almost finished preparing the spot for my birth garden and I am just feeling ready for her to come. I really am hoping for a July baby though so hopefully not too soon.

Chimmy came by tonight and totally pampered me. It was awesome. She is such a good masseus. And the lavendar salt scrub was absolutely divine!!! She even painted my toe nails. I feel so girlie. LOL

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I can't believe your only 8 days away too. This pregnancy has flown by so fast! I swear you just told us yesterday about your BFP. YAY for head down baby!! It sure sounds like (and looks like!) she's settling in for the birth, I'm so happy for you! I can't wait to meet this new little one of your's. Tonight was fun - I love your family, it was nice to hang out for a bit & I'm so glad you enjoyed the massage & lavendar scrub Smile

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Yay for her being head down! Sounds like you are getting everything read!

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Hooray for head-down! And for pampering!!

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Yay for a head down baby! I'm sure a night of pampering was wonderful!

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I'm sorry I'm kind of late to the game here, but everything sounds wonderful! A night of pampering at this stage of pregnancy is about the best thing possible Smile And yay for head down! I am absolutely horrible at telling, too, and finally realized that even trying was just causing me to stress about it--counterproductive! MW says head down, I'm believing her and sticking with it Smile

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YAY FOR BABY TURNING HEAD DOWN!!!!!!!! It sounds like things are going well for you and you moving along! I'm glad you are feeling at peace with your birth plan. It's very important to feel comfortable and at peace with that.

I thought about the SL Temple but I have a ton of family history in the Manti Temple. It was gorgeous! I still have yet to go to the SL temple and do a session but it is on the list. Smile I've only done sessions at the Manti and the Provo temples. Sad thing is I haven't been in so long and I live 20 minutes away from the Provo temple.

The massages sound wonderful! DH gave them to me a fair bit but i've never had any sort of pedicure or anything and think that would be awesome.

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Oh dear oh dear.... Everything has been going along so well. I have been feeling such peace about the birth and all of a sudden today I have been stricken with the most horrible anxiety! I hate this! :mad: I have such a hard time with the pushing phase. I wish I could stop worrying about it but I have been awake for three hours and I just feel like throwing up. :help1: I just can't stop thinking about it.

Sometimes I wish I had never heard of natural childbirth. I wish I could just go along in ignorant epidural bliss and not want more. It's hard once you have experienced the exhillaration, to go back to that nothingness, but I have this stinking anxiety every time and it always ruins the last bit of my pregnancy.:eek:

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Entering very late here... Welcome to your lodge!

I'm sorry you're having anxiety now after such a wonderful few days! I don't really have any advice except to focus on the fact that you know you can do it (as you've done it before) and you know it ends (wonderful little healthy and alert baby!). I hope you can return to feeling rested and pampered. Smile

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Tamra, I watched you push out Finn with that crazy hand/arm/face presentation. You can totally do this!!! Biggrin

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First of all, I'm totally jealous of your Mother's Blessing! I would have loved to have something like that for DS's pregnancy, but we had just moved here and I didn't know people well enough to really feel comfortable suggesting it. Second of all, I'm so glad to hear your baby is head down!

I understand your fears about pushing. The pushing phase was very challenging for me, but it was so worth it in the end. Sometimes anticipation of something is actually worse than the thing itself because our minds make it so big. When you are in that moment, you really have no choice but to live it, and soon it will be over and the intensity of it will be just a memory.

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I should of posted this last night, sorry guys! Here is a bit of an update. Those on her FB it'll be a repeat.

Tamra doesn't have internet where she is at & wanted me to let everyone know that she's okay. She went up to the University today to meet with some of the midwives up there & in doing so found that her blood pressure was quite high & not going down, so they are keeping her there to induce her. She is due this Sunday & is very nervous about everything & hoping that it all works out okay & that she is able to deliver little LuLu without problems. If you guys could keep her in your prayers I know that would mean a lot to Tamra.

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Thanks for the update, chimmy. I'll be praying for her and hoping that it goes well!

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Thinking good thoughts for Tamra and Lulu! Smile

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Sending lots of good thoughts her way.

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Sending good thoughts her way!

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A bit of an update. I'll let Tamra come & share details when she's feeling up to it. It was a pretty rough birth but both her and baby Eloise are doing great & she's nursing like a champ! She was born at 4:20am weighing 7# 15oz, 20 inches. Lots of dark hair, the cutest chubby cheeks, and the sweetest face. ♥

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Congrats Tamra and WTTW baby Eloise! I'm sorry to hear it was a tough birth, but glad to hear they're doing well. Thanks for keeping us updated!

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Congrats on your new baby girl!

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Congratulations! WTTW Eloise!

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Thanks everyone! I can now say from experience that being induced is pure hell. Even with the epidural it was extremely scary. I believe in my heart of hearts that I made the right choice. The way she came into the birth canal was so not right that she got shoulder dystocia. Her heart rate was basically nonexistent so they had to pull her out and in the process damaged the nerves in her right arm. I honestly feel that if I had been at home the outcome would have been worse.

As it turns out the anxiety was being caused by my high blood pressure. I was feeling so weak and shaky and sick. There is just no way I would have made it through without pain meds. I have now had three with an epidural and three without. I love all of my birth experiences. I feel that all of my children were born the way they were supposed to and where they were supposed to be. I have experienced so many different births and they are all valid and wonderful experiences. There is no perfect birth, at least not for me. For so many years I strived for that perfect birth, but for what? I am just blessed to have all of my children here no matter how they came.

Eloise is such a gift to me. I am so grateful for her. We weren't going to have any more children and I feel so pleased that God gave me one last child to treasure. I feel happy and secure about my birth. I don't feel dissapointed. I know I made the best choice I could make at the time and I won't regret it. Thank you all for the support!

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:worthless:

Teasing you....
Just when you are ready, it would be fun.

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K, super late to this lodge, but I've had fun catching up. I'm also LDS, there's a few of us on here:).
From your siggy pic, I can see Eloise is a beauty. Sounds like things played out just the way they needed to. Congrats!

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I'm glad that you and Eloise are okay and very glad that you feel at peace with how everything went. It is not always about having a natural birth--it's more important that you are involved in the decision-making process about what is the best birth for you and your baby, and it sounds like you were.

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Congrats! Eloise looks adorable! It sounds like the birt, while not what you planned, was the best thing for both of you. I am glad you you are in a place where you can be ok with that!

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Congratulations on your beautiful little girl!

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Eloise is beautiful. I'm glad you are at peace with your birth even though it is not what you had planned. You are right that the most important thing is that you and Eloise are healthy. Congrats.