~`~` connorsmum (Kerry) Birth Lodge ~`~` - Page 5
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Thread: ~`~` connorsmum (Kerry) Birth Lodge ~`~`

  1. #41
    Posting Addict MeesterMama's Avatar
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    I hope your appointment goes well today!! KUP!!
    ~Katie~
    Elijah ~ 8/27/04
    Evan ~ 06/14/06
    Emelia ~ 11/13/08
    Elliana ~ 9/10/10

  2. #42
    Posting Addict connorsmum's Avatar
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    I wasn't going to post until later when I have time to read all the lodges and catch up, but I really need to get this off my chest so I can get on with cooking dinner! I will be back to catch up properly later.

    I have not long got back from a midwife appt and am rather annoyed/upset right now. I am 36+5 and she says the obstetrically there is no reason I can't have a homebirth but she needs it to be ok'd my my OB. I was originally refered to an OB because I was classed as "high risk" because my ds2 was born with congenital heart disease. This OB was as much use as a chocolate teapot when I needed a referal to a fetal medicine dept for an echocardiogram for the baby and we had a big falling out and I specifically asked not to be called back at 28 weeks, which is standard when you see an OB. There is NO WAY I will be turned down by that useless woman now, especially as baby is classed as full term on Wednesday and the midwives can go on call. Thankfully my midwife must know that it stands a good chance of being granted (even if it's only to shut me up or get rid of me) as she is coming later in the week to bring my box of stuff and do the risk assessment. I am now wishing I had the money for an independant midwife, I bet I wouldn't have had any of this hassle. I was also slightly concerned to read the note the midwife wrote on a piece of paper to go into my handheld notes. "I will do risk assessment in the home later this week, if it is considered possible" What exactly is THAT supposed to mean? When she says risk assessment, is she assessing the suitablility of my home? Sarah-Jean, can you shed light on this for me?

    Maybe the midwife was not impressed that I forgot my handheld notes?! Opps! I packed them in the hospital bag I took on holiday and as I haven't unpacked the bag, the notes were still in there. I am supposed to be going to the OB's clinic a week tomorrow as they couldn't get me in tomorrow, but that puts me at 37+6 when I would be entitled to a homebirth from 37 weeks, so have been trying to call the secretary since I got in with no luck. Guess I will have to try from tomorrow afternoon as she has a clinic at my local hospital tomorrow morning. Grrrr! Why do they make pregnant women jump through hoops for something that should be simple.
    Kerry: Mama to
    Connor: 11
    Jamie: 8
    & Zack: 4



    Staffordshire Wedding & Portrait Photographer
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  3. #43
    Posting Addict MeesterMama's Avatar
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    That sounds irritating. I hope you are able to get through and talk to the people you need to talk to. So would this be a midwife from a hospital coming to your home then? I don't know how that works, we don't have that here.
    ~Katie~
    Elijah ~ 8/27/04
    Evan ~ 06/14/06
    Emelia ~ 11/13/08
    Elliana ~ 9/10/10

  4. #44
    Posting Addict connorsmum's Avatar
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    Yes, that's exactly what it is Katie. Many midwives here are trained for hospital AND homebirths and it is luck of the draw depending on where about in the country you live it seems. Rather annoying really. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame the midwife for being cautious, she is only trying to protect herself in the event something should go wrong, but it seems like a bit of a negative way to think about it. I suppose we are paying the price for being lawsuit slap happy.

    My midwife is part of a community team, which means that even if I wanted to have the baby in hospital, there is no guarentee that it would be her who delivers me. I have seen 3 different midwives this pregnancy, which I don't mind at all. It is just all the hassle that is a little annoying. Paying for the kind of birth I want almost seems preferable right now over the NHS in my area.

  5. #45
    Prolific Poster DNesbitt's Avatar
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    What a headache to deal with this. Hope you get the homebirth of your dreams.
    Dede & A.very 10/22/05

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  6. #46
    GraysonsMom
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    Crazy medical profession! I hope you get just what you want and don't have to fight much longer for it.

  7. #47
    Prolific Poster alicia715's Avatar
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    Wow, Kerry. I remember the problems you had with that OB and now this? Can she just look over your paperwork and test results and OK you without you actually having to go in? I hope it all works out in your favor. After all that you've had to go through so far, I would think that they'd realize that you will go after what you want and not take "no" for an answer!
    Alicia C.
    DH - Gordon (aka Woody) 2/29/08
    DS1 - Justin 3/11/98
    DS2 - Gordy 11/2/08

  8. #48
    Posting Addict Sarah-Jean's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry she's doing this too you. I hate to say it but it sounds like she's paving the way for finding a reason why you CAN'T have a homebirth. Your Ob has got NO say in your birth choices (neither does your midwife for that matter!), so I don't see why it's relevant that she be informed at all. That's just being pedantic.

    Risk assessment as well sounds very negative. I've never had a risk assessment (I never got a pack either although they kept telling me I would get one right before they tried to railroad me into hospital) of my home. That's a bunch of bull. I'm hoping she just couldn't put a sentance together properly and didn't know how else to phrase her home visit to you...

    DON'T let her upset you though. They can NOT deny you a homebirth (and boy will they try from my experience!). Even if she outright says no, you can still have a homebirth. Just phone the hospital labour ward when you go into labour, tell them you're having a homebirth and they need to send a midwife out to you. They may argue but they've really no choice at all!

    I had a horrible experience with bullying midwives when I had DS4. My first three DSs were also supposed to be homebirths, but I was young and naive and believed the stuff they said and was bribed and threatened into hospital. With #4 I said no way and argued all the way. In the end they "agreed" but when I went into labour and called labour ward they told me that I wasn't "on the list" for a homebirth, they'd send an ambulance to get me and DH could stay home with the kids, they were short staffed and had noone free... Blah, blah, blah. I spent over an hour on the phone arguing with them through contractions because they refused to speak to my DH and in the end had to play the "you're forcing me to go unassisted then and if anything happens I'll be suing you for all you've got" card. Needless to say, they sent someone over to me. By which time my labour had stalled and didn't start up again for another 2 days.

    I didn't want a repeat of that and so that was why I went for an independent midwife last time and this time. They will normally do cut prices if you sign up later in the pregnancy and also payment plans etc. but I know it's still a LOT of money to fork out.

    I would see what she has to say when she does this home visit. And if she even starts to put doubts into your homebirth and you don't agree make sure you make it clear that you are NOT changing your mind and you won't be going to hospital unless a medical emergency arises.

    ((((( HUGS )))))

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Despite our countries wonderful midwives, it seems that in some area's they really do their best to put people off the homebirths they're entitled too.

    Love,

    Sarah-Jean

  9. #49
    Posting Addict MrsHolmes83's Avatar
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    Wow Kerry I am sooo sorry you are dealing with this! Really, do they need to pull this crap on you last minute like this? It sounds absurd to me!
    Clare~26
    DD Peyton~10/16/08

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  10. #50
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    How incredibly frustrating for you Kerry! I think that Sarah-Jean has some great advise for you! Stick up for your homebirth! KUP!
    ~Janae
    Chase-13, Trey-11, Layton-9, Zander-5, McKay-3, Declan-1, Keely born 9/6/2012

    2/25/10

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