~`~` connorsmum (Kerry) Birth Lodge ~`~`

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mrskris10's picture
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~`~` connorsmum (Kerry) Birth Lodge ~`~`

Okay, I am a couple days early...but close enough right? I think you said your first two were early?? Plus, I couldnt wait to see a lodge on a fellow November 08 Board Member! Biggrin

Your in the homestretch!

Welcome to your lodge!
I look forward to following your story and your Homebirth!!!!!

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WELCOME TO YOUR LODGE !!!
I can't believe "Nov 08 mama's" are getting Lodges.... so so exciting !!!!!

Looking forward to read stories ad photos..... Wink

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:yahoo:You're in the homestretch now!!!

Welcome to your lodge, Kerry! I can't wait to hear about your HB soon!

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Yay! welcome to your lodge!

keky's picture
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November Mamas?!? Amazing!! Yahoo Congrats!!

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Yeah! A November mamma! We are all going to start popping soon here! Welcome to your lodge!

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Welcome to your lodge!

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ahhhhhhhhhhh a NOV MOMMY!!! Yeah i'm so excited to follow your lodge!

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Welcome to your lodge!!!!

Can't wait to follow your journey to birth!

ETA: I just read on the UK Board that she's gone on holiday until Friday so we might not hear from her before then...

Love,

Sarah-Jean

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WHAT! A November lodge! That can't happen! We still have some Sept moms who haven't had there babies yet!! LOL! Welcome to your lodge girl!

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Welcome!! How exciting!!!!

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Congrats on your lodge!! We're getting sooo close now, I can't believe it!!
Can't wait to hear your story!

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Welcome to your lodge!

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Yay - like PPs said...a NOV lodge! We are all so close ladies!!!

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Yay! Welcome to your lodge!!!!!:yahoo:

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WHOOHOOO for a November lodge! Welcome to your lodge! Can't wait to hear about your homebirth!

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:wootjump: Welcome to your lodge!

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Welcome to your lodge, can't wait to follow your story!

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Welcome to your lodge!! Wow, a November Mama!!! (seems like yesterday I was saying that bout August Mamas!!) Looking forward to hearing your intro.

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I'm bumping this up so that you'll see it when you get back Smile

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Yay....I can't believe that we are finally at this point in our pregnancies! I can't wait to follow your last weeks of your pregnancy! Smile

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Argh!! Thanks soooo much ladies! Just back from my vacation today, completely forgot about my lodge until I saw the link to Katies (meestermama's) lodge, then nearly spat my drink out when I suddenly realised how close us November mama's are!

I promise I will be back very soon with my intro and some photo's, amazingly, I didn't write mine up before I left, lol!

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Hi! I’m Kerry, was 30 in June and live in the UK. I am Mummy to 2 wonderful sons and wife to Mark. Mark & I met waaaaay back when I was 18, he worked in the store next door to where I worked. I spent quite a bit of time in the store and one day Mark offered to give me a ride home as it was raining. When he pulled up outside my house, he asked me out and I agreed. Annoyingly, most people thought we would not last long as Mark is 8 years my senior. I rather enjoy proving people wrong! We started dating in July 1996 and in November 1999 we bought our first house together and were so desperate to spend our first Christmas together that we moved in on Christmas Eve with only a bed, a table, some pots and pans, an oven, 2 sun loungers, a 14 inch tv and a Christmas tree! 9 months later, I discovered I was pregnant. It really could not have been worse timing as Mark & I were going through a rough patch and weren’t even sure if we wanted to stay together. After much arguing, crying, worrying and spending some time apart, Mark came around to the idea of a baby and said we should give things another try and we have been strongly together ever since. The pregnancy was very straightforward, except that I measured big from about 32 weeks and had a scan which told me to expect a 10lb + baby at term. My due date came and went with no sign of baby. Finally, 8 days late, our first born son, Connor was born. The labour itself was fine. I woke at 2.15 because I needed to pee. 15 minutes later, I needed to pee again and then again 15 minutes after that. By the 4th time I got up, I realised that each time was only a trickle and that it was contractions! Mark woke after the 4th time and asked if I was ok. I told him that I thought I was in labour and he did the typical thing of jumping out of bed and panicking. I told him it would probably be hours as it was our first and to go back to sleep. By 5am I called the hospital as the contractions were a little under 5 minutes apart. I was told to come in. Waking Mark by this time was much harder, I really had to shake him and shout, lol! We hit every red light on the way to the hospital and I felt every bump in the darn road. We arrived at the hospital at 6ish, and I was found to be 7cm dilated already. At this point, I was told if I wanted an epidural, I needed to tell them ASAP, preferably 10 minutes ago. I was soooo scared of the idea of having this 10lb+ monster and the possibility of needing an emergency section (this is what had been drummed into my head during the last 5 weeks of my pregnancy), that I agreed to the epi. Naturally, this led to a cascade of interventions, being confined to the bed, on my back. This was bad as Connor was in a back to back position. Then the contractions slowed down because of the epi and I needed pitocin to speed them up again, then I needed more epi and by the time I was ready to push, my back was killing me and the baby’s heart rate kept decelerating. I pushed on and off for 3 hours but needed an episiotomy. Connor was finally born at 1.45pm on 26th May 2001. He had passed meconium in utero and wasn’t breathing when delivered. He was rescusitated, the longest 5 minutes of my life. Thankfully he was fine, had decent apgars and weighed a nicely average 8lb 1oz, gave both Mark & I a shock I can tell you! We came home 3 days later.

Mark & I got married on September 13th 2001 in Florida when Connor was 16 weeks old. We decided to go and visit with my Dad & step-mum to show off their grandson. We had no intention of marrying while on vacation, but my Step-mum put the idea into our head and then with 9-11, we knew that life was too short and were married a few days later, looking back, it was perfect for us, we aren’t into big celebrations ect!


When Connor turned 2 we decided to try again. We got pregnant first month but miscarried at 9 weeks. We waited a month and conceived Jamie while on vacation in Menorca, he’s our little souvenir! Again, the pregnancy was straight forward. Our 20 week scan showed we were having another son. There was a slight scare when the sonographer spent what felt like ages looking at the baby’s heart but just as I was really starting to worry, she deemed him to be perfectly healthy. Once again I measured big from 34 weeks but this time a scan showed a fairly average sized baby, much to my relief. At 39+5, I had an appt to see my midwife. That morning I had a massive bloody show and the midwife seemed to think I would go soon. We had already decided to take a walk along the canal to feed the ducks and swans with Connor. While walking, I tripped and fell onto my belly hard. I panicked that the baby wasn’t moving and so decided to go to the nearest hospital to get checked over. This hospital happened to be a different hospital to where I was booked in for and not the hospital I had Connor in. All things considered, I was very well looked after. I was put onto a monitor straight away, even though I knew that baby was ok by then as he had woken up when I was walking up the stairs to labour & delivery! I had 2 contractions right at the start of the trace monitoring, but they tailed off and nothing else happened at all. After an hour, I was taken off the monitor and told to go to have a scan to make sure that I was not bleeding internally. While waiting for the scan, what I thought were Braxton Hicks started up. When it was my turn to be scanned, the woman looked at me and told me I was in labour, she could see the contractions on the ultrasound scan! I was told to take the report from the scan back to labour & delivery, who then tried to send me home!! I told them I couldn’t go home as my baby was about to fall out. They didn’t believe I was in labour (who could blame them, I hadn’t been less than 30 minutes ago!) but agreed to do an internal to check for dilation before I left. They didn’t even change me into a gown, just did the exam. The midwife was utterly shocked to find me 7cm dilated and as she did the exam, my waters broke. The next 50 minutes were spent laughing and joking with the midwives, we were waiting for the MIL to come and pick up Connor, if she could find him and Mark on the grounds that was, they had gone to sit in the garden after I was told I wasn’t in labour! At 4pm (I was examined at 3.10pm) I told the midwives I needed to pee. I should have noticed the look that passed between then as they told me to go ahead. Just a few minutes later I shuffled back into the room and told them rather sheepishly that I didn’t need to pee, but needed to push, at which point they grinned at me and told me they knew, but wanted me to work it out for myself. They told me to get into any old comfy position and do my thing while they set up the room. 20 minutes later, the MIL arrives along with Mark & Connor. The MIL asks how long I am likely to be incase she should hang around, but was told I would be at least an hour, so she left with Connor. 20 minutes later, Jamie arrived into the world, pink and screaming with nothing more than a few puffs of gas and air. The time was 4.39pm on 22nd June 2004!! Jamie was 7lb 13oz, 51cm. A labour lasting just 89 minutes was recorded in my notes. I was a little shell shocked at the speed of it all and absolutely exhilarated that I had done it with no interventions, it was practically perfect.


Unfortunately, things started going wrong pretty quickly after that. At Jamie’s newborn checkup, he was found to have a grade 3, harsh systolic heart murmur. We were told that it should clear itself up as murmurs are common in newborns. At 15 days old Jamie was refered to the hospital for prolonged jaundice, which actually was found to be physiological or “breastfeeding” jaundice and finally cleared up at around 10 weeks. At 3 weeks old Jamie had a confirmed UTI and had to be put on long term antibiotics and undergo various tests. In the meantime, Jamie was a very difficult baby, cried almost 24/7, hardly slept ect. We were beside ourselves as we had no idea what was going on, just thought we had been blessed with the worlds most miserable baby. At 12 weeks his weight gain stalled before remaining stationary from 14 weeks. At 5 months Jamie was diagnosed with severe eczema and was hospitalised at 6 months and again at 8 months for investigations into “failure to thrive”. We knew by this time that something was terribly wrong but had no clue as to what was wrong. All we knew was that he was dying. We fully expected to lose him before his first birthday, we thought it was cancer. After his second hospitalisation for FTT, they mention of the heart murmur came up again. It could be heard in his back and he had a lack of pulses in his groin. They refered him to the specialist heart unit at the children’s hospital, although I am sure they didn’t think the heart unit would find anything as I was told, by his paediatrician, that “I doubt it has anything to do with his heart, but we are out of other idea’s”


On 4th April 2005, when Jamie was just 9 months old, our world was turned upside down when the cardiologist who was looking at our son’s heart on an ultrasound screen said 7 words that will haunt me forever “Your son has a significant heart defect”. Things were worse than originally suspected, Jamie was very, very sick and had multiple defects, the worst 2 needed urgent treatment. Just a week after his diagnosis, Jamie underwent open heart surgery. Thankfully this was completely successful and we were able to bring our baby home 6 days post op! He went from strength to strength after this with a few hiccups along the way. He has multiple food allergies and some delays in his development. He is smaller than his peers and struggles in the winters but he is here and doing amazingly well, nice and stable and that is all that matters!


So, this brings us to right here, right now! The decision to have another baby was a hard one. We had obvious fears about the possibility of having another sick child. Plus I waited so long as it took me this long to decide I wanted another child, not just to have a “re-do” of what I missed out on with Jamie’s babyhood. We had come to terms with the idea that we could have another child with “special needs” and knew that we could cope with whatever may come as we had come this far already and we firmly believe that babies choose their families and Jamie chose us for a reason. Only truly special parents get given such amazing, special children (no, I am not saying that all children aren’t amazing and special, you know what I mean, I hope!). This baby, our 3rd son, has been checked over very closely and appears to be completely healthy. Obviously having been told that about Jamie I will not truly believe it until I hold this baby in my arms and see him for myself and he is checked over by Jamie’s paed, but I am not worried, I am just anxious to meet this little man and to see how he fits into our family and the bonds that will develop between my boys.


As I stated previously, I am hoping for a homebirth. I never set out with the intention of having a homebirth, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I have a real hatred/fear of hospitals now, I have seen enough of them to last me a lifetime. I had such an easy time of things with Jamie and for the most part, with Connor (which I feel would have gone better had I have been fully educated), I know I am an ideal candidate for a homebirth. Plus, I have never been apart from Jamie and don’t plan on starting now if I can help it. Family & friends have all admitted they would rather not have the responsibility of caring for Jamie, he is certainly not the easiest child to look after! As of this very moment, I should get my wish for a homebirth. At first I was told no because I am classed as high risk but as scans came back clear of heart defects, that was not an issue. Then I was told my baby was big. A scan at 35 weeks put the estimated fetal weight at 6lb 5oz, which puts me on track for an 8 ½ lb baby, well within “normal” limits. The only thing they can possibly try and use to turn me down now is my iron levels, which apparently have fallen slightly from 10.2 at 28 weeks, but I won’t know the exact number until Monday. I plan on telling them I WILL give birth at home, I take full responsibility for my own welfare and that according to my research, HB levels of 9.5 ish is actually a great indicator that the placenta is working at peak efficiency and NOT a sign of anemia. All I need is for baby to stay put until at least Wednesday as the midwives don’t go on call until 37 weeks and I will be allowed to go until 42 weeks. I absolutely can’t wait and am really excited about my homebirth!


Right, I am sorry this is soooo long already, but here are some pics!


Mark & I when we started dating:


Newborn Connor:


Our wedding:

Connor now:


Newborn Jamie:

Our family in August 2005:

Jamie now:


Me & my boys taken yesterday while on vacation:


My 36 week belly pic!:

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I love your intro! I know I'm a little late, but welcome to your lodge! lol

You have a beautiful family! Biggrin

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Wow! I loved your intro! and Pics!! you have a beautiful family!

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What a great intro! Your little guys are so cute! Love Connor's tooth-less grin!

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Congrats on the lodge - a fellow November mommy... how exciting!

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Thanks for sharing all your stories! You have a beautiful family!

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Oh wow! Thanks for sharing your story!

My experience of UK NHS midwives is that they will try ANYTHING to get you to give birth in hospital. Stick to your guns though - it is soo worth it in the end!!!

Love,

Sarah-Jean

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Wonderful intro and I look forward to your homebirth!

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Great intro and what a beautiful family! Congrats on choosing homebirth. Not leaving my daughter was a huge benefit to me as well. I look forward to following your journey.

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Great intro! Love your story! I can't wait to read your birth story!

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Congrats on your lodge! What a lovely intro and beautiful family! I can't wait to follow it!!

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Your intro was great and I can't wait to read your home birth story!

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I loved reading your intro Kerry! I look forward to following the next few weeks and reading your home birth story! Smile

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I am a lil late...:cool:

I LOVED your intro and your family is BEAUTIFUL! I am going to enjoy stalking your lodge the next few weeks...:)

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Great intro! I hope you get your homebirth and can't wait to hear about it!

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Thanks everyone! Tomorrow is crunch day, they day I find out if the midwife is going to support me, or if I have a bit of a fight on my hands. I really don't see any reason they can deny me a homebirth. It is very annoying that in the UK everything is such a lottery depending on where you live. In some area's, midwives will practically try and push you into a HB and in other area's, they will use every excuse and trick in the book to avoid a HB. I wouldn't say that they have been negative, but they haven't been completely supportive either.

Aside from that, I am doing all I can to help myself a little. I have read up on unassisted deliveries incase baby arrives quickly, I have all the phone numbers by the phone, I have managed to talk dh into carrying my spare cell phone so I can call him on that and he will know it is time. I started having raspberry leaf tea today. It's actually not too bad with some sugar or honey, I usually just take it in tablet form but they had none in stock. I also bought some floradix (herbal iron supplement) as the spatone (ironised spa water) wasn't cutting it and my levels had dropped again from 28 weeks. I suppose I better ask tomorrow exactly how much additional iron I should be taking for my HB level.... whatever it may be. At least the dried apricots I am eating are helping out in area's other than iron (sorry, tmi!)

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I just read your intro, and wanted to wish you all the best. What a journey your family has been on, and a true blessing to have such a beautiful healthy little boy after all you've been through. I look forward to hearing that your appointment went well tomorrow, it sounds like you have all your ducks in a row! Thanks for the pics, it's so fun to see who's story we're following, and your family is darling:)

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HOLY CRAP!! :jawdrop: Just finished reading your intro, wowza! You sure go fast in labor!! (have to say im jealous Wink ) Your boys are adorable and your dh sounds like a sweetheart. Love your belly pic!

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I hope your appointment goes well today!! KUP!!

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I wasn't going to post until later when I have time to read all the lodges and catch up, but I really need to get this off my chest so I can get on with cooking dinner! I will be back to catch up properly later.

I have not long got back from a midwife appt and am rather annoyed/upset right now. I am 36+5 and she says the obstetrically there is no reason I can't have a homebirth but she needs it to be ok'd my my OB. I was originally refered to an OB because I was classed as "high risk" because my ds2 was born with congenital heart disease. This OB was as much use as a chocolate teapot when I needed a referal to a fetal medicine dept for an echocardiogram for the baby and we had a big falling out and I specifically asked not to be called back at 28 weeks, which is standard when you see an OB. There is NO WAY I will be turned down by that useless woman now, especially as baby is classed as full term on Wednesday and the midwives can go on call. Thankfully my midwife must know that it stands a good chance of being granted (even if it's only to shut me up or get rid of me) as she is coming later in the week to bring my box of stuff and do the risk assessment. I am now wishing I had the money for an independant midwife, I bet I wouldn't have had any of this hassle. I was also slightly concerned to read the note the midwife wrote on a piece of paper to go into my handheld notes. "I will do risk assessment in the home later this week, if it is considered possible" What exactly is THAT supposed to mean? When she says risk assessment, is she assessing the suitablility of my home? Sarah-Jean, can you shed light on this for me?

Maybe the midwife was not impressed that I forgot my handheld notes?! Opps! I packed them in the hospital bag I took on holiday and as I haven't unpacked the bag, the notes were still in there. I am supposed to be going to the OB's clinic a week tomorrow as they couldn't get me in tomorrow, but that puts me at 37+6 when I would be entitled to a homebirth from 37 weeks, so have been trying to call the secretary since I got in with no luck. Guess I will have to try from tomorrow afternoon as she has a clinic at my local hospital tomorrow morning. Grrrr! Why do they make pregnant women jump through hoops for something that should be simple.

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That sounds irritating. I hope you are able to get through and talk to the people you need to talk to. So would this be a midwife from a hospital coming to your home then? I don't know how that works, we don't have that here.

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Yes, that's exactly what it is Katie. Many midwives here are trained for hospital AND homebirths and it is luck of the draw depending on where about in the country you live it seems. Rather annoying really. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame the midwife for being cautious, she is only trying to protect herself in the event something should go wrong, but it seems like a bit of a negative way to think about it. I suppose we are paying the price for being lawsuit slap happy.

My midwife is part of a community team, which means that even if I wanted to have the baby in hospital, there is no guarentee that it would be her who delivers me. I have seen 3 different midwives this pregnancy, which I don't mind at all. It is just all the hassle that is a little annoying. Paying for the kind of birth I want almost seems preferable right now over the NHS in my area.

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What a headache to deal with this. Hope you get the homebirth of your dreams.

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Crazy medical profession! I hope you get just what you want and don't have to fight much longer for it.

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Wow, Kerry. I remember the problems you had with that OB and now this? Can she just look over your paperwork and test results and OK you without you actually having to go in? I hope it all works out in your favor. After all that you've had to go through so far, I would think that they'd realize that you will go after what you want and not take "no" for an answer!

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I'm really sorry she's doing this too you. I hate to say it but it sounds like she's paving the way for finding a reason why you CAN'T have a homebirth. Your Ob has got NO say in your birth choices (neither does your midwife for that matter!), so I don't see why it's relevant that she be informed at all. That's just being pedantic.

Risk assessment as well sounds very negative. I've never had a risk assessment (I never got a pack either although they kept telling me I would get one right before they tried to railroad me into hospital) of my home. That's a bunch of bull. I'm hoping she just couldn't put a sentance together properly and didn't know how else to phrase her home visit to you...

DON'T let her upset you though. They can NOT deny you a homebirth (and boy will they try from my experience!). Even if she outright says no, you can still have a homebirth. Just phone the hospital labour ward when you go into labour, tell them you're having a homebirth and they need to send a midwife out to you. They may argue but they've really no choice at all!

I had a horrible experience with bullying midwives when I had DS4. My first three DSs were also supposed to be homebirths, but I was young and naive and believed the stuff they said and was bribed and threatened into hospital. With #4 I said no way and argued all the way. In the end they "agreed" but when I went into labour and called labour ward they told me that I wasn't "on the list" for a homebirth, they'd send an ambulance to get me and DH could stay home with the kids, they were short staffed and had noone free... Blah, blah, blah. I spent over an hour on the phone arguing with them through contractions because they refused to speak to my DH and in the end had to play the "you're forcing me to go unassisted then and if anything happens I'll be suing you for all you've got" card. Needless to say, they sent someone over to me. By which time my labour had stalled and didn't start up again for another 2 days.

I didn't want a repeat of that and so that was why I went for an independent midwife last time and this time. They will normally do cut prices if you sign up later in the pregnancy and also payment plans etc. but I know it's still a LOT of money to fork out.

I would see what she has to say when she does this home visit. And if she even starts to put doubts into your homebirth and you don't agree make sure you make it clear that you are NOT changing your mind and you won't be going to hospital unless a medical emergency arises.

((((( HUGS )))))

I'm sorry you're going through this. Despite our countries wonderful midwives, it seems that in some area's they really do their best to put people off the homebirths they're entitled too.

Love,

Sarah-Jean

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Wow Kerry I am sooo sorry you are dealing with this! Really, do they need to pull this crap on you last minute like this? It sounds absurd to me!

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:bighug: How incredibly frustrating for you Kerry! I think that Sarah-Jean has some great advise for you! Stick up for your homebirth! KUP!

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I'm so glad I swung by - I had no idea you were this close, Kerry!! I'll be thinking about you Smile I'm so excited for you! I hope all of the HB stuff works out soon!

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