~`~`~Birth Lodge of Liberty_Rose~`~`~

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Blessedwith4's picture
Joined: 08/03/06
Posts: 177
~`~`~Birth Lodge of Liberty_Rose~`~`~

WELCOME TO YOUR LODGE!!!

Sorry its almost a week late Sad I cannot wait to follow you on your journey to motherhood Smile

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

I have a lodge! Woohoo!

There's so much to tell! I will start tomorrow. Smile

SaucyVidel's picture
Joined: 07/20/06
Posts: 634

I still can't believe we missed on, I blame the hormones!

WELCOME WELCOME!!! You have one heck of a journey to keep us all aprised on and we'll be here to support you the entire way Smile Tell us about yourself and I want some belly shots!

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

Why did I think I could sleep? Might as well start now....

Mi Familia
Let's see. I'm 33, I write, sing, dance, act, all sorts of artsy stuff that shows up in different ways. Unfortunately, I have been so ill with hyperemesis in this, my first pregnancy, that I haven't been able to work at all. I have done secretarial work for years, and it's something I need to move beyond. I have no idea what having this baby will do as far as career choices go. I have a degree in writing and speech communication. I write poetry and have been published a few times. I'm currently editing a few scripts (one comic book and one film) for a few friends.

DH is 39, a systems administrator by day and transitioning into a fulltime comic book artist. He just got a new Sys admin job (woohoo!) in July and is excited to be working there.

My journey into motherhood actually began about 4 1/2 years ago when a mutual friend told me, "you need children in your life. You need to remember what it's like to have wonder in the world. You have to meet my friend's sons. They are 5 year old twins and they are awesome." Famous last words!

Well, those two boys are now my stepsons. Here's a pic from the day we met and a more recent one.

Gerry and I were married two years ago this past July 29th.

We live in Santa Cruz, CA. We started TTC as soon as we married. I had two m/c last year, one in April and one in September, so after those and a year and a half of trying, we are happy to be blessed with this little one.

About this PG
To be straight about it, this pregnancy has been a nightmare. I went through hyperemesis for the first 30 weeks. Insomnia set in at 16 weeks and is still with me. At 24 weeks, PUPPP showed up, an amazingly awful rash from head to toe that burns and itches.

Meanwhile, my first care provider didn't work out because of an insurance snafu. She was a really nice doctor. My second providers were a group of midwives that actually turned out to be pretty negligent--they screwed up my thyroid meds, a very big no no. My third provider was my most recent midwife, who decided just last week that I had had too many issues. So now I am back to square one.

On this journey, I have been amazed at the lack of information I had about pg before I ever got pg and have done what I can to deal with that by reading. My compromised health has had an enormous impact on me and my family. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth had a huge influence on my attitude and I am determined to find a new provider to have a HB. The hyperemesis is gone. The rash is under control, forward we go.

The only bright spots have been of course, the baby. These are 9 week and 20 week u/s.

hear the heartbeat at ten weeks:

Belly Slide show 11 weeks - 31 weeks. DH is 6'4 and I am 5'3. Who do you think is winning the genetics race? I feel like a giagantic belly with limbs and a head attached.

I sing to her. 3 songs seem to top the list: "Secret of Life" by James Taylor, and two from the Putamayo Dreamland collection, "Arriba del Cielo" and "The Lullabye" by Theresa Doyle.

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

Congrats on your lodge! Your intro was great and I look forward to following your journey to the birth of your DD. You deserve a wonderful birth and I know you can do it!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge and I love your intro!! Your belly pics are awesome TFS!!!

AmyJo86268's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1406

Welcome to your lodge!

Joined: 12/19/07
Posts: 77

Welcome to your lodge and thanks for sharing your story. I hope these last few weeks are nice to you after all your've been through so far. Good luck with finding a new care provider.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge!

How's the MW search coming? I hope to hear great news from you in that arena shortly. Wink

lisadvm's picture
Joined: 10/20/05
Posts: 57

Welcome to your lodge! Go August Sunbeams!

k&jplus5's picture
Joined: 10/03/06
Posts: 345

Welcome to your lodge! I hope your search for another midwife ends quickly, and with a happy ending! Can't wait to read more.

GreenBubbleTea's picture
Joined: 03/30/07
Posts: 97

Welcome to your lodge. Hope you get the birth you want and deserve!!

awini8's picture
Joined: 10/21/06
Posts: 386

Welcome!!!

aotus76's picture
Joined: 10/01/05
Posts: 170

Welcome to your lodge!

hr.lr.07's picture
Joined: 11/24/07
Posts: 178

Welcome to your lodge Smile

Mrs.KC's picture
Joined: 05/27/10
Posts: 603

Welcome to your lodge!! You look great! Hope things get smothed out for your delivery!

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Welcome! I am looking forward to sharing your journey!

Joined: 04/14/07
Posts: 238

Great intro! Welcome to your lodge!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge! I look forward to reading your birth story.

Jenn0113's picture
Joined: 03/09/07
Posts: 5335

Great intro...I hope you get the mw situation handled soon.

newbeginnings's picture
Joined: 03/22/08
Posts: 153

"liberty_rose" wrote:

Belly Slide show 11 weeks - 31 weeks. DH is 6'4 and I am 5'3. Who do you think is winning the genetics race? I feel like a giagantic belly with limbs and a head attached.

Hahaha, this cracked me up!!! ROFL My DH is 6'2" and I am 5'3", so thanks for giving me a preview of what to expect.... Wink

And your wedding picture is gorgeous, by the way! Congrats on your LO!

LucyBear's picture
Joined: 09/29/07
Posts: 133

Welcome to your lodge! I think your intro is romantic - the part about "meet my kids" and then you end up married.... wonderful!

mrskris10's picture
Joined: 03/27/07
Posts: 302

:DWelcome to your lodge! I look forward to following your birth story

Joined: 09/29/05
Posts: 826

Rose, I know this pregnancy has been a struggle for you to no end....I know I'm looking forward to your little girl's arrival...but I'm sure no one is as much as you!!!! So, I'm waiting...((HUGS))

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

Thanks all Smile I have been a hena artist for many years and hennaed my friend Jen's baby belly last year. She did mine this year Smile baby's first henna Smile

Panonim's picture
Joined: 11/11/05
Posts: 439

Welcome to your lodge!

I am so sorry to hear about your recent MW situation. I am sending you lots of positive vibes and really hope that you're able to find someone who will support you and that you'll get the homebirth you want.

Great intro, what a cool story about how you met your DH! And I love the henna belly, that is so beautiful!:D

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

That really is a gorgeous design and lovely baby belly. What a nice keepsake those pictures will be.

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

Preggo brain strikes again...can't remember what I already posted about.....

The current plan for the whole midwife snafu is:

DH and I have an appt with ex MW's back up doc today at 12:40 to confirm my eligibility for a homebirth, and an appt with a new HB MW who is also a CNM (hoping this makes the difference) on Friday at 6pm. So DH is missing work again to go to new care provider appts.

This is of course, providing I stay pg long enough. Since Friday, I have been cramping every few hours, having back spasms, and trying to lie down as often as I can, since my ex MW is still officially responsible to me until I transfer to her doc, which I am hoping to have in place only until Fri, and her doc disagrees with me about my dates, so I would have to go to the hospital with her doc if I go into labor before signing on with a new MW.

I can't believe after everything I have worked for that I am back to a hospital and an OB. I have to say though, this doc, despite the date discrepancy and the fact that she is an ob instead of a MW, is one of the better ones to have if you need one. Of course, she's also out of town for my official due date of Aug 28.

But come Fri at 6pm, I pray it works out. The MW said she's had folks go into labor during the consultation, so we will see what happens.

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

My PUPPP rash is almost gone, THANK HEAVENS. Heat still irritates it but not nearly as much.

What didn't work:
prescription clobetisol (it spread)
Cortisone cream
Benadryl
a second cortisone shot

What did:
Itch relief tincture from herblore.com
possibly oral prednisone but has side effects.
sulpher 1m (homeopathic. lower doses available in stores. Got this from my naturopathic doc and it took the itching way down)

HTH for anyone else suffering.

LucyBear's picture
Joined: 09/29/07
Posts: 133

Hooray for a resolving PUPPP rash! That's great news.

Hope things workout with the new MW. You deserve the birth you want. I'll be thinking about you.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm a little late chiming in but welcome to your lodge, glad your PUPPP rash is clearing up. Also, I love the henna art very cool. Biggrin

GreenBubbleTea's picture
Joined: 03/30/07
Posts: 97

So glad your rash is getting under control. Hopefully LO can bake until you get things figured out with a new HB MW.

You have been through so much with this pregnancy and still have been able to be a major support person on our Aug BB. You are an amazing, strong woman that deserves an amazing HB!!

Joined: 04/14/07
Posts: 238

How are you doing today?

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

Update 08/07/08

So the scoop is, I saw my exMW's backup doc yesterday, and she confirmed I am still a go for HB! AND, we discussed my dates again and she decided that I am 37 weeks TODAY, which makes me ok to give birth at home anytime!

Yahoo

She didn't even bother testing me for choleostasis, which is what my exMW was afraid of (what the heck was with my exMW?)! I made an appointment on Monday with a new HB MW and Friday was the earliest she could see me.

However, since last night, I have been having contractions every time I stand up and I've been cramping for the last three days pretty often, and sleeping more than ever thank goodness. I didn't tell doc yesterday about cramps because I didn't want her checking me to send me into labor before we could set up HB MW. What a fuss! I lie down whenever I can since that seems to stop the cx.

So the potential new MW was able to see us this afternoon at 4 for our initial consultation. She's delivered thousands of babes and I keep hearing really good things about her.

Baby has been moving busily all day, and I am timing cx as they occur. When I stay upright, they tend to be about 2 min on, 5 min off. Nothing painful, just pressure. I'll have potential new MW check me for dilation and effacement today.

GreenBubbleTea's picture
Joined: 03/30/07
Posts: 97

I just posted on our BB but wanted to say again: Yahoo CONGRATS Yahoo I really hope everything runs smoothly for you here on out.

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

Yahoo I am so happy and excited for you! Can't wait to hear how it goes with the new MW and so glad you are done with the last one.

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Things are looking good! I can't wait to hear how your appt goes this afternoon.

Joined: 12/19/07
Posts: 77

The potential MW sounds promising! KUP on how the appointment goes.

AmyJo86268's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1406

I'm glad things are playing out for you in a positive way!! I hope your new MW is awesome and you get the birth you want!

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

update

We can't afford it. With exMW, we were on a payment plan. We would need $5,000 up front, which we don't have, for a new HB MW.

The emotional breakdown that came with this back and forthing is brutal and exhausting.

HOWEVER, the MW I spoke with today is wiling to be my doula at the hospital. She was pretty outraged at the treatment I received from exMW abandoning me so late in the game.

She's a MW with 40yrs of experience and will keep me laboring at home as long as possible, checking me for when we have to go, then staying with me the whole time at the hospital and taking care of me in every way except for the legal requirement of a doc catching the baby at the end.

I know I can do this, I just feel like this entire pg has been one emotional/physical nightmare after another. To say I want it over is an understatement.

Joined: 04/14/07
Posts: 238

:bigarmhug: :bigarmhug:
Oh wow. I'm sorry you can't have your homebirth.

Ok so you have an amazing experienced midwife as a doula! I would imagine that in light of everything that has happened this can only be the next best thing to giving birth at home. (ok so maybe having a midwife as a doula and giving birth in a birth center might be the next best thing but you understand where I'm coming from right?)
Easier said than done but I guess the only thing you can do at this point is reconcile with yourself and own your birth regardless of surrounding circumstances. (and be thankful you have this awesome midwife by your side) At least she can check you!!

LucyBear's picture
Joined: 09/29/07
Posts: 133

I'm one of those "let go and let God" types. I'm sure the Universe is working in all sorts of mysterious and wonderful ways to make sure you get the birth you need and deserve. You're an intelligent woman and you know to speak up for yourself. That alone is a wonderful thing and your baby is lucky to have you for a mother.

I think it's great that the MW is willing to doula for you. Not all hospital births are horrible. Not all home births are magical. I just hope that whatever birth you have is healing and perfect for you and LO.

:bighug:

Panonim's picture
Joined: 11/11/05
Posts: 439

:bigarmhug:

I'm so sorry you're on this rollercoaster, and that your HB seems to be fading away. I agree that it's fantastic that you can have this MW as your doula, and I'm certain you can make your birth as perfect as you want it, even in a hospital. Hang in there. Every day that passes you are one day closer to your baby.

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

Thanks Lucy and Nicole...wise words. It's the rollercoaster I want off of.

Thank you for reminding me to count my blessings.

DH is a good guy, the hospital actually is a really good one, and my doc is good too--had a homebirth herself. This MW is a blessing. Our savings will be gone, but she is worth it.

My doc is going out of town for two weeks starting next week, but my doula assures me her clients will be treated with respect to her practices.

I'll be ok. I am just....whupped...

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

:bigarmhug: I am so sorry about the rollercoaster of emotions you have been dealing with. I am so glad you are having the best possible hospital scenario though. Being comfortable with your new MW as a doula will make things go so much easier for you. I just wanted to add that my hospital birth really was great. Laboring at home and transferring when you are ready to go is a perfect plan and you are going to have an awesome birth to meet your little girl!

AmyJo86268's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1406

I just wanted to pop in and say I'm sorry it's been such a rough road for you. It WILL be over soon and you'll get to hold that precious baby and hopefully forget all the past 10 months!!

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

update

A friend I met in June, who lives across town, just let me know she had her baby yesterday and is sending me the details in an email. She's the only person I know locally who has been pregnant, so that makes me feel like I am getting closer.....

It was interesting. all day yesterday I had cx and was miserable. Then I had the appt with Veronica last night, and all the symptoms of labor disappeared. Until I signed the papers today and paid her to be my doula. Since then, cramping and cx resumed. As if my body said, "no midwife?! Freak out! Don't have the baby! Possible doula? Calm down, but don't have the baby. Doula on board? Okay, now where were we....."

AmyJo86268's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1406

That makes sense. I was just re-reading Ina May and there's that fight or flight part of your body that doesn't allow for rational thought. I'm assuming resuming symptoms means your body is relaxing back into the flow of things. I'll be happy to see your pregnancy over and for you to get a relief from your misery. It will happen soon!!!

liberty_rose's picture
Joined: 01/17/08
Posts: 64

Yeah...and my friend who just had her baby had it at home--we had had the same midwife, so part of me is grieving and a little jealous, but there's nothing I can do about it except let the feelings pass.

The hospital bag is ready......... Sad

I am also feeling like I have been less relevant to this experience the more time that passes. Everything is for baby. All the things I wanted during this pregnancy didn't happen due to illness or circumstance.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm so sorry your dealing with all of this on top of just being so pregnant. I'm sure you will have the birth that is best for your baby. I had my second naturally in a hospital and it was a wonderfull experience. As long as you make sure to stick up for your self and ask for the things that really matter to you then you'll do fine. Just remember that they are there to help you and they can't know what you need unless you ask! (((HUGS))) Be good to your self, and rest peacefully knowing that your going to be where your supposed to be to have this baby.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sorry about your homebirth! Hospital birth can be a good experience if you let them know what you want and don't want.

I have given birth 4 times in the same Hospital. I made sure that the nurses and my Dr. knew that I did not want an epidural and don't bother asking me if I want one. I have stayed the standard 24 hours after birth each time and went home with my baby shortly thereafter.

I look forward to reading your story.

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