Ok...where to begin?
DH and I met in 2000. I was in graduate school for costume design/construction and Blair was an undergraduate in the theatre department. I was 25 and Blair was 31. He was sort of a late bloomer and started undergrad at 28 . Anyway, we met several times just in passing and then both of us on a whim went to a party and ended up talking all night. I'm pretty sure he wanted to come home with me...I was too sober to oblidge (true confessions) and suggested he come over the next day (sunday afternoon) and hang out. Ok more true confessions...at the party a significant portion of our discussions revolved around relationships and sex and quite frankly he was so darn honest with me it was refreshing even though I wasn't sure I totally agreed at least he wasn't afraid to be like take it or leave it...up until that point ALL of my "relationships" had been so unsuccessful due to pansy a$$ boys not having the capacity to be a man and quite frankly not be afraid of a strong woman. I knew that Blair *at that point* was only interested in a casual sex relationship and *at that moment* I thought well, at least I know what he wants!! Ok cut to the next day he comes over and so much for a casual sex relationship!! hehe we spent the whole day talking....Literally noon to 9pm talking non stop and I knew at that point that I didn't want anything to be casual and I think he totally agreed. Our roadblock was time. He was literally working full time night shift at Ford Motor company and going to school full time and I was in graduate school...which had it's own outragous demands. So, the only time we could see each other was after he got off work at 6am until either one of us had to go to class at either 9 or 10am and then on weekends of course. So he would come to my apartment in the morning...we would hang out for a couple of hours mostly sleeping and on weekends where we could actually have conversations. I think it was the consistancy that got me hooked (and other stuff of course). He was so dependable he would tell me he would see me the next day and sure enough I would see him the next day. Anyway, long story short we moved in together after 6 months of dating...lived together for about fours years and then (finally) got married in 2004. Working in the arts esp. theatre our lives are so inconsistant and jobs can take us anywhere. So, it was difficult to finally settle down and feel like we can actually be adults and start a family. After we moved to Chicago in 2004 and got married and I was at the same job for more than one year the idea of children started creeping into the conversation. My job and theatre lifestyle just doesn't lend itself to kids...it just doesn't, but not having kids was NEVER an option for me. It was for Blair, though, and it really took awhile for me to *ahem* convince him that we can do this...we can raise happy healthy children and live the *free*lifestyle that we are accustomed too... Finally after several years of marriage Blair was like...ok i'm ready, thank goodness he did verbalize it because I was to the point of getting *oops* pregnant. (I could never follow through with tricking him but I sure was on the verge!!) I had stopped birth control for a couple of months already...the hormones just finally got to me and had been teaching myself FAM and started lurking on preg.org and learned a bunch. We officially started ttc Jan. '07. I got preggers Feb. '07 and lost our bean in March. We were devastated. I really didn't know how common miscarriage was until then and I felt like a fertility failure wondering if we had missed our chance being older an all...also not realizing how common thirty something pregnancy was. I have to stop here and just mention that because of my profession and the type of people I like to hang out with hardly any of my girlfriends or aquaintences have had children so pregnancy was sort of a lone journey for me.
So, Blair and I took a break. We started TTC again in May but then I got a potential job opportunity in NYC and that put us on TTC hold again. Until, I sorted out that the job wasn't for me...but then I discovered a possible wheat allergy and my dr. wanted to test me for a gluten allergy which could affect my fertility. All tests were negative...by this time it was September! So, finally we were emotionally and physically ready to start TTC again! and in November I got my BFP! I knew as soon as I concieved that I was pregnant. I just had to wait the 12 days to confirm...so I was not shocked to see the double lines...I think Blair and I were excited and really scared.
The first trimester was difficult for me. I didn't have overwhelming sickness but enough to wear me out! and I was scared and nervous the whole first three months of losing the little bugger. When I first heard the heart beat I was literally in tears! SO relieved.
Once we got past those initial milestones we started to relax and enjoy the idea/reality of being pregnant! As far as the rest of pregnancy goes...it's been so much easier than I had expected. I think I always thought that I would be the one to be sick throughout the whole pregnancy or have major difficulites (don't know why) and every step of the way I've been happily surprised that I've been able to function and haven't put on a lot of weight and so on...
*ok I have to post this and come back to finish with pictures and why I'm so interested in natural birth* I didn't proofread so forgive any typos please
Congrats on your lodge. Loved reading your story.
Congratulations! and Welcome! I too want to see your pics!
Congratulations on your lodge! I can't wait to see pics and follow the rest of your pregnancy journey!
Chase-13, Trey-11, Layton-9, Zander-5, McKay-3, Declan-1, Keely born 9/6/2012
Our wedding was VERY simple. We literally had a $2000 wedding. I made my wedding dress we bought Blair's suit at a JCPenney's Fathers Day Sale. We got married in my parents church, it was very nice and laid back and had the reception in the little banquet area next to the chapel...chinese food buffet . It was so easy and fun. DH and I want to go to Vegas to renew our vows...we thought at our 5 year anniversary but that's creeping up on us so maybe 10 anyway here's the wedding dress:
Recentish closeups of Blair & I:
Baby's crib (I made the sheet & dust ruffle, the afgahn was made by a mentor of mine):
So, like I said before...I don't have a lot of women IRL around me that have given birth. Growing up Mom had mentioned my & my brothers births several times and that sort of shaped my assumptions about how things might go...
With me she had an induction out of convienence not necessity but despite the induction she never had any pain meds and gave birth vaginally (although there was a nurse that kept pushing drugs on her that she had to fight off the whole time). She was in bed on her back had the routine epsiotomy etc...With my brother things were a little different. She learned her lesson with induction and the birth was so much easier despite the fact that he was a 10 pounder. She did it without any pain meds. She always said that there was so much more information out there for my brothers birth and her hospital assumed that all women would go med free. So! I thought great just imagine how laid back and supportive things will be NOW almost 30 years later. Boy was I in for a rude awakening. I had NO idea how medicated birth had become and let me just say I was truely SHOCKED when I realized what birth had become here in the States. It's seriously funny I just assumed that every woman's goal in birth was to go med free! It's better for everyone all around... OK these boards have educated me in more ways than one! So, I had already decided that I like my OB and my hospital ...now I just needed to figure out how to get what I want regardless of the epidural & c-section rates (epidural rate 98% c-section rate 45%). I talked to my doc. and told her what I wanted and how I have zero fear of big baby and I told her about my Mom. She asked if Mom could be with me (I wasn't sure) and basically her response was if your Mom can't be there hire a doula. I knew that was my best defense and resource for birth but doula's are expensive in Chicago!!! Finally I convinced my Mother that I need a doula (she was as surprised as I was where birth has gone) and Mom & Dad decided their big gift to me was to pay for the doula. Yay!!! SO I hired Holly who is so awesome. Blair and I are so thankful to have her on our side. Blair, by the way, is so into helping me achieve my goals I've been so greatful to him as well. We are reading as much as we can. Blair's guide has been Simkin's Birth Partner.
Anyway...the OB's have been pretty hands off and I really haven't had any trouble with them...but if all goes as planned I will get to the hospital almost ready to push the baby out. I also told Holly that I'm seriously not afraid of a oops homebirth. She's into it . Her first was a oops homebirth so she feels fairly comfortable with it...we'll see if that actually happens.
Well that's it for now! Enjoy!
ETA: We are having a boy! Which wasn't a shock. Blair and I had decided long ago that if we had kids our boy would be named August and our girl would be named Georiga. We really wanted to name our kids after role models and people we respected. August Wilson is Blair's favorite playwright. He is the preeminant African American playwright of our time. If we have a girl someday she will be named Georgia after Georgia O'Keefe. Whom, I not only love her paintings but her strength and independence are something that I would want my daughtor to aspire to .
Last edited by ejf123; 07-22-2008 at 06:08 PM.