Welcome! Can't wait to get to know you
Yay, Jessi! Welcome to your lodge!
~Ayelet & Yoram
NJ, USA to Israel 12/29/08
Rambling on at http://milkandhoneymomma.blogspot.com
facebook and twitterID: ayeletschwell
Hello all!! I'm Jessi (25) and I live with my Dh (James-31 and technically my Df) and our Ds (Jonas-2) in southern VA. I met my Dh when I was barely 22 and still sowing my wild oats and he had just moved to our little college town to start a new life. It was the classic city boy meets country girl kind of fling. We didnt really have any plans for the future just late night parties and doing what felt good at the time, and then..... I missed my period. When we found out we were pregnant we both kind of fell apart. I knew I wanted to keep my baby but I wasnt ready to commit to James. This caused a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings between us and we pretty much fought our way through our whole pregnancy. In spite of all this I was so excited about my son and completly turned my life upside down to be a good mom for him. And I realize now while I was working on myself James was busy getting his own life together.
I had a really easy and uneventful pregnancy with Jonas which was great bc I took a second job to be able to save up enough money for a 3 month maternity leave. Another plus to my second job was that it was at a daycare where I would return with Jonas after my leave so I could care for him myself even at work. I used the same Drs that I am going to know and I really love them. I feel like they are about as close to seeing a midwife as you can get with a regular OB. I carried Jonas for 41 weeks and never got any pressure to induce. They told me that they would rather deliver a 10 lb baby with a moms body that was ready than induce for a six or seven lb one.
I had a really hard time preparing for birth with Jonas. I wanted to be ready and make the right choices for myself, but something allways held me back from researching what would actually go on. I read so many pregnancy books but would allways end up skipping the parts about the actual birth. When it was time and I was at the birthing center I was suprised to find that I was coping really well and then unfortunatly my audience arrived. It had never occured to me that people would come to the hospital to watch my labor! So I was really thrown off guard and rather than cause conflict I ended up attempting to labor in bed and not make a scene which led to my epi. I did put my foot down when it came time to push and had everyone leave the room. An hour and 45 minutes later Jonas was born. He weighed 9 lbs 10 oz and was absolutely perfect! He was immediatly placed on my chest and in the seconds before he cried I could feel his little heart beating like crazy through his ribs. It was the best moment of my life just to know that he was out and doing ok. Then he started crying and pooped on me. My epi ended up being way to strong and took hours to wear off which is one of the main reasons I want to avoid it this time. Even though Jonas' birth was far from perfect I really feel at peace when I think about it. It is what it is, and I got this:
After Jonas was born James and I were sort of thrown back together against our own wills. He was really commited to being in Jonas' life and came to spend time with him every day which meant we also spent alot of time together. Lets just say that one thing led to another and by the time Jonas was six months old James had moved in with us. I hate that we had to go through what we did but at the same time I think we really needed to go full circle to appreciate what we have together. We truly love each other and work every day to give our son a secure happy life.
This past November on my birthday James asked me to marry him. I said yes of course and about a week later we were suprised to find out we were expecting baby #2! Ive had another great pregnancy and we were thrilled to find out that we are having a baby girl. Ive been able to research natural birth this time and I feel so much more confident about the whole process. It's been so great to experience the love and support of my partner and know that I'll have him there with me this time.
Thanks for reading our story and I look forward to sharing these last few special weeks with you guys!
Here's a pic of our little family from a few days before we found out about our new addition:
Welcome to your lodge! Great intro, I love it when people are able to work things out and stay together despite a rough start. And your docs sound awesome, so few these days would prefer a 10-pound baby over elective induction, that's just so refreshing to hear. I can't wait to share this journey with you!
"No more hurting people. Peace."
-- Martin Richard, age 8, Boston, MA
Rest in peace, Martin.
I loved your intro. I think it's great that your DS brought you and your DF together. That is awesome that your OB's are so NCB-friendly--the idea of a 10 lb baby born with spontaneous labor being preferable to a 7lb baby born by induction is unfortunately rare these days. I'm glad your doctors see the benefits of spontaneous labor over induction. I thought it was interesting in your birth story how you said you were coping fine despite not really preparing until you had an audience, and then you felt like you were expected to labor in bed. Our cultural view of birth involves the woman being in a bed, even though it is not comfortable or natural-feeling most of the time, and I've seen so many women on A Baby Story (which I've quit watching because I need to get in my bubble of peace now) laboring in bed and just staying still and complaining and then getting epidurals. Just thought it was interesting to hear your explanation and your story as an example of why women need privacy during labor, and how they can benefit from learning about how good moving around during labor can be.