Back to Atlanta from Thanksgiving. I will write up a story for you guys in a little while. I am so excited to be going through this journey and getting the chance to share it with you all
Dylan 4/22/04, Devon 6/24/06,Dorothy 9/13/07, Derek 12/19/09, Daniel 12/18/10, Daphne 2/24/12
Mindie and Mark, 5/16/09
Welcome to your lodge, Mindie!!
Due on 12/10/09
It's a BOY!!!
My Super Uber Long Story About How I Got Here.
My pregnancy with Dylan was quite eventful. I was so hyper emetic that I lost about 50 pounds during the duration of the pregnancy. I am so glad he was my first because I could take my Phenergan and sleep alllll day. About 2 weeks leading up to his delivery and because I was a FTM, I was in L&D pretty much every other day with contractions thinking that it was the real deal...yeah, right.
The early morning hours of his birth, I got the most intense pain I had ever felt in my life up to that point. By 5 am, I was getting admitted FINALLY! He was born at 10:58 am on April 22, 2004 after 2 long hours of pushing (He was posterior). He almost died due to two true umbilical knots. His first APGAR was a 3. They called a code blue and rushed him to the special care nursery. The first time I saw my baby was in a Polaroid pic of him under an oxygen hood. After the midwife stitched me up, everyone left the room and I was completely alone. It was the worst most helpless feeling ever. I had to lay there for like 2 hours for the epidural to wear off so I could go see him. My ex husband was a complete non-supportive as$hat. I had the most severe PPD I could ever imagine because of his constant mental abuse (and the rape 7 days after the birth didn't help much..). I wanted to give him the best start possible and really wanted to breast feed him. I guess Ex was jealous of this and sabotaged my entire efforts. I ended up moving Dylan and me to a women's shelter when he was 4 months old. I had to sneak out and I never looked back.
Dylan was 6lbs, 3 ounces and 19.5 inches long
Exactly 2 years, 2 months, and 2 days later, I was in labor with my second baby. During his pregnancy, I wanted something more out of the whole process. I called the only "birth center" in Cincinnati only to learn that they quit delivering there back in 95! So, I decided that I could just go natural at the hospital. Sounded good in theory anyway. My SIL and DH were both encouraging me to "just get the drugs" and "Go ahead and get the epidural!" In my moment of weakness and vulnerability, I went ahead and did it. I automatically felt like a failure and I still have some resentment to a degree that I had absolutely NO support whatsoever from ANYONE. After getting the drugs I quickly progressed to 10 cm. I felt this unstoppable urge to push. I had to wait for the midwife to show up. Like 20 minutes after feeling the need to push, I was able to. Devon was born in like 5 pushes. I had no breastfeeding support this time either. He was super jaundice and had to stay in the hospital an extra night. Even though I felt so defeated, it was an ok experience overall.
Devon was 6lbs, 10oz and was 19 inches long
Dorothy's pregnancy was so easy compared to the other 2! I was finally accepting that her birth would be like the other two -- Epidural, drugs, and the whole 9 yards. I was ok with that. DH, the boys, and I went to the zoo the day before she was born. I guess the walking was worth it because my water broke that night. When I got to the hospital, all hell broke loose. I learned that I would not be getting an epidural (They didn't think it was a good idea due to my Chiari Malformation)and that since my water had been broken for "too long" (like 5 hours ) that I would be started on PIT. I asked for narcotics since I was completely panicked at this point. The meds stopped any progress that I had made up to that point, and the pit was inevitably started. Most. Horrible. Experience. EVER! I was able to snooze for about 45 minutes when BAM! the pit contractions woke me up from the inside out. It was intense and horrible. There was nothing anyone could do to give me any kind of relief. Being that pit was used I was confined to the bed on continuous INTERNAL monitors. After an agonizing day of pit contrax, I was FINALLY told I could push (laying on my back, of course). Not only did the pit contractions cause Dorothy's entire head to be purple and bruised, it caused a partial placental abruption. She came out covered in blood and some of the after birth had to be "fished" out. Oh, and I ripped. Ended up with like 7-8 stitches.
Dorothy was 5 pounds 12 ounces and was 18 inches long.
DH and I were pretty convinced that 3 kiddos was enough to finish our family. 6 weeks later I had brain surgery and about 2 months after that, I started my career. I finally had everything I could possibly want or need. That was all ripped away from me on March 2, 2008. I woke up next to his dead body. Dorothy was 6 months old. I ended up moving back to the part of town where my parents lived so they could help me. I ended up losing my job due to being hospitalized for 2 days for my nervous breakdown that I was totally entitled to at that moment.
One day, on a whim, I Googled "widow support groups" and found an awesome message board full of crazy grieving widows like myself. About 4 months later (September 9, '08 to be exact..LOL) I got a PM from this dude. It is still setting in my PM inbox. His story was pretty similar to mine. His DW and my DH had the same. exact. birthday...9/14/74. And they died 5 months apart....and they died from accidental narcotic overdoses in their sleep in bed next to us. Coincidence? Fate? Destiny? I really can't call it anything else but a genuine blessing from above. Long story short, we met January this year, I moved down to Georgia to be with him in March, Found out about the baby in April (Easter Sunday!) and Got married May 16, '09.
This little person is a complete blessing to both of us since his DW was chronically ill with Lupus and was never in remission long enough to even consider pregnancy. They were all set to adopt 4 kids from Columbia but she died before that could happen. 4 was always his magic number for kids, so how awesome is it that I was able to accommodate that request?
Anyway, I really decided on a homebirth this time and found one close by to here. I am so excited to be able to do this MY way.
If you made it this far, thanks!
Wow, Mindie, you have been through a lot. I really respect you for getting out of your first marriage. I hear so many stories about how hard it is to leave those kinds of relationships. I'm so sorry all your your birth experiences have been so terrible and you didn't get the support you needed with them. With your third, it really sucks didn't tell you they wouldn't give you an epidural until you were in labor and then they put you on pit on top of that. That's just mean. I'm sorry for the loss of your second husband, and I'm glad you found your current DH and you have been able to help each other heal.
I hope you have a great experience with your homebirth!
37 Week update.
Yesterday was kinda rough. I had the unmistakable nesting urge. I did all of Derek's laundry, un packed from our Thanksgiving trip, put together my new vacuum and used it, unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher...Which was all fine and dandy. I was actually having some "ouch" contractions in my back and all. (still not having any show, bloody or otherwise wonder what my cervix is doing at the moment) Made the kids dinner, Mark got home, got everyone in bed, and then just chilled on the couch contracting all evening. It was kinda starting to make me mad. We figured DTD might help matters move along but nope. It was slightly painful, but didn't result in anything major. Ugh, I feel like my body has been tricking me for 2 weeks now. I know babies come on their birthday and not their due date, but still. I am physically starting to wear down a little.
Goodness hun! I didn't know your history, WOW you have been through a lot. I wish you all the best with this birth, may it be everything your dreaming of. You and your DH are/will be amazeing parents to your 4 blessings
(((HUGS))) for today, hope your feeling better tonight.
Sorry to hear you're having uncomfortable contractions but they're not turning into the really thing yet!
I just read your intro, and I just want to hug you. You have lived through my worst fear and several others that are right up there. You are so strong. Congrats on your new life and baby!
Faith is the realization of what is hoped for and evidence of things not seen - Hebrews 11:1
Me-31 DH-38 - Living with MFI since 10/2004 - Not preventing since 6/2000
BFP after 2nd IUI -> Angel Baby-> Morgan Kinsley-08/15/06 at 9w3d-EDD 03/17/07
BFP after 1st IVF . . . . gave us our earth-angel . . . .
Cecelia Elaine - 12/08/09 9lb 9.1oz 21in 6:50pm
I just read your intro. Thanks for sharing. I give you so much credit for leaving your first husband and being able to find someone after your second passed. I'm sorry you didn't have the best birth experiences, but it's great that you have another chance with this baby. I hope you have a wonderful home birth experience. I can't wait to hear all about it!
Due on 12/10/09
It's a BOY!!!