Oh Katie, your lodge--I am so excited for you!!!!!
Mommy to Max (8/23/05) and Gracie (6/22/07)
welcome to your lodge looking forward to reading about your story
<3 Dh Jason 3/22/03
Baby #4 11/24/13
welcome to your lodge! It's so exciting to be so close!
Owen Michael 4/05 Grey Neil 5/07 Alice Katherine 4/6/11
Welcome to your lodge! I'm looking forward to following your story (and I'm really jealous of all you ladies who're so close to meeting your sweet babies!)....
WHAT?!?! Are you serious?! A June lodge!!!
Welcome to your lodge!
Ohhhh, I am so terribly excited to have a lodge!!!!! I have really been enjoying reading all of the others. hank you so much for joining me on this journey!!
Here's some background - I'll get you all up to speed so to speak.
I'm 33 (on Friday ) and married. I live in Huntginton Beach, CA. Been here for five years and am DONE with Orange County. We are looking to relocate to Northern AZ ASAP.
I am currently pregnant with a girl. She is technically my third child. Sadly, my first son, Blake, was killed in a car crash he and I were in in 2000 caused by a red light runner. He was 17 months old. I was a single mom at the time. My injuries included a serious brain injury that impaired my short term memory and paralyzed the right side of my body. However, you would never know any of that if you met me in person (lots of rehab)!!
I was in a coma for a week after the crash - I refuse to call it an accident. Blake died pretty much instantly. The driver was driving 55 mph when she ran the red light and never attempted to stop. She was completely sober, therefore, she never paid any legal consequences. This happened in Phoenix and the law has since changed. Blake's little body simply could not tolerate the impact even though he was in the correct car seat in the middle of the back seat.
A year later, I had my tubes tied. I felt as though I had given birth once and was a mother, therefore I was "a woman". I was too afraid of going through another loss. I sought support through the MISS Foundation, www.missfoundation.org and it was through meeting all of these other bereaved parents that I learned, lightening can and does trike twice, sometimes more often. So I completely shut off that aspect of my life.
A couple years after the crash I met my current DH, Chris. We are a great team and I am forever grateful for him in my life. He had custody of his son from a previous marriage. After being together a couple years, I just started the talk about having a child together. I always knew my tubal ligation was reversable and I thought if I had it reversed and it didn't work then , that would be my answer.
After a year of going back and forth about having a child we decided to do it. I did lots of research and founf Dr. Berger in North Carolina. Even though I live in Southern California, I could not find any dr. out here that specialized in the procedure exclusively the way Dr. Berger does. It was cheaper for us to fly and stay out there, have the surgery than it would have been to have someone out here do it.
We did it and 6 weeks later I was pregnant!
Kage was born August 2005. It has not been easy, at all!!! But I know he chose me and I am so grateful for him in our lives!!! We love and honor every minute with him and everything about him.
When Kage was a year old, DH got baby fever!!! Can you believe it??? LOL And we were pg that next month.
Having an OB with Kage never felt "right", so I agreed to give DH his one hospital birth and from there on, it would be my call. I was thrilled to find a nearby Birth Center and some amazing midwives! DH went with me on that first meeting and asked the questions he needed to ask and felt much better about the situation.
I learned about Hypnobabies and decided that would work with me. So we have both been doing the homestudy course and I am so confident that I am really looking forward to her birth.
At 12 weeks during the morning I was having this pain on my right side under my ribs. I knew that it felt similar to when you are at the end of your pg and the baby has his/her legs up in your ribs. But I knew that wasn't it and kept getting worse. And nothing except for lying on my left side perfectly still would alleviate it. I called the midwife early afternoon. She thought immediately maybe it was my appendix. DH came home and we went down there to get checked out. They called the OB who works with the center and he suggested going to the hospital, so we did.
At every turn I was being handed all the consent forms to sign saying I understood the danger to the baby. It was really scary. They couldn't find anything. They admitted me and put me on IV antibiotics because they could tell there was an infection "somewhere". That night my fever rose to 108. So I was admitted a second night. Still nothing. They did 2 MRI's (one of them to my exposed abdomen) and a chest x-ray. That with all the pain killers, it ended up being much more traumatizing to me than I realized at the time. After night 6,(One of them in ICU) they finally decided it was pleurisy. At that point I wanted out so badly, I was pulling the IV's and monitors off myself!
They sent me home with antibiotics and painkillers. I did however get several u/s and was able to see the baby. That was reassuring to me because I was really freaking out.
After a week, there was no more reoccurance. Totally random thing. Although my DH did get it to a much smaller degree. But his doctor listened to us and just started treating him for the same thing.
At 26 weeks, I got an awful phone call from my sister - one that I don't wish upon anyone - she was at my father's apartment and had just found him dead. I had called her that morning telling her I couldn't get a hold of our dad. She said she would just stop by his apartment, apparently she has done this before. Only this time... My father was only 53 years and was not ill. He had died in his sleep - from what the scene looked like. And he had been gone at least a few days.
I can't even express the feelings that overcame me in that phone call. I dropped to the floor and was screaming in so much pain. My DH was trying to lift me, but I told him to get the baby and get out of the house. He did exactly what I asked without even questioning me. I will be forever grateful for him for doing as I asked.
When he and Kage were gone I screamed and screamed like I have never screamed before. I couldn't stop screaming. I didn't want to hit or destroy anything, I just wanted to scream. I knew that this baby girl was experiencing all of this, and I felt bad but I couldn't stop screaming. In fact when I thought of her I would tink of how excited my dad was to have a grandaughter coming that it made me scream harder.
My sister could not get a hold of my mother (they are divorced and my mom is re-married) so I finally got a hold of her and told to go to my dad's apartment. I was somehow able to tell her what happened in the midst of screaming and sobbing. I felt so bad for my sister being there by herself. I was just losing it. My mother was telling me to calm down and that was irritating me beyond anything. I hav an uncle who is a police officer in Phoenix and I got a hold of him and told him to go there too. He was also telling me to calm down and I just wanted to throw the phone!!
DH returned after a while and I had calmed down. We were both numb and just making phone calls and answering calls. I had to call my uncle - my dad's only surviving brother and tell him. That was such a horrible phone call to make. There was a third brother who died in a car crash when I was very young.
We drove to Phoenix that night and spent the week. We had a memorial service on Thursday because we decided that was more my dad. We had him cremated and will spread his ashes in the ocean at some later date. The initial autopsy came back inconclusive and we are still awaiting results and answers. Meanwhile, his bank, cable company and cell phone will not let us close any accounts without a death certificate so his bank account is now overdrawn because the utility companies keep withdrawing their monthly fees. (That's just a sidevent I am dealing with these days)
Just a couple weeks ago, our son Kage was diagnosed as having autism. I have always known there was something, but was always dismissed by his pediatrician. He doesn't show the most common signs of autism and falls at the low end of the spectrum, but it was still really devastating news.
He's getting further testing next week and we'll know better how to get through his little quirks.
When Kage was 12 months old I made the informed decision to stop vaccinating, so I have been on the hunt for a new pediatrician. I found one and will meet with Dr. Sears on Friday!!!! Yes, the father even!!! I am very excited.
So to recap, this little girl has really been through a lot with me emotinally. I am really trying to connect and talk with her a lot. Being Kage's moher has been really stressful and I don't want her to think that is has anything to do with her or that this will be a scary place to enter into.
She is extremely active!!! I would swear there are two sometimes.
With my pg with Kage I began having contractions at 23 weeks. The OB really over reacted, gave me meds and put me on bedrest. The contractions were never doing anything.
This time I felt them start at 16 weeks, but Iknow now that is perfectly normal and have been much more relaxed about it. Around 30 weeks and 34 weks and again recently, they have really stepped up a notch. But it gives me a great opportunity to practive my Hypnobabies! And I am much more relaxed and confident about this pregnancy.
Thank you again for reading my novella.
Congrats on your lodge! Look forward to sharing your journey!