I do regular tea with lemon juice in it and it helps some, but not a lot. Smelling peppermint oil helps too (I've read conflicting things on actually using it during pg so I just smell it).
I hate it when it goes from side to side - even when it's allergies it makes you feel like you're sick.
I hope you start feeling better soon!!
Natalie & Dan - June 2, 2001
Samma - Nov. 5, 2004
Tommy - Oct. 19, 2007
I went to see the midwives today, and it was a nice visit. I was 15 minutes early and Rebecca was cooking dinner for her kids. I'm not usually early to my appointments, so I think that having an afternoon appointment really helped. Taking the night off last night also helped, I feel a lot better today, though I'm still not 100%.
The visit, as usual, was boring. We went over some material to share with my little brother, who I hope will be able to attend the birth. He's turning 18 this December, a fact which blows my mind since I watched him being born. His birth, at home with midwives, was what shaped my early desire to have a homebirth, and has helped me form my vision of nursing. However, he has Asperger's syndrome, which is in the Autism Spectrum, and he needs to be prepared for what's going to happen. My mom hasn't done ANY prep with him at all. I'm really disappointed in her. At my homevisit a week ago his questions were good questions but inappropriate to the situation and made it obvious how little he knew about what was going to happen. So I got a couple of videos from Megan, my other midwife, and some books, and he and I are going to go over them this weekend, I hope.
Both midwives and their apprentice, Emily, said that I looked different now that I was in late pregnancy. Maybe that means I can have a baby soon, though I still have no physical signs of that happening. Rebecca said I looked "ripe", whatever that means. As long as it isn't a euphemism for "rotting" or "smelly", which is how I use it mostly, I'm happy. I'm measuring at 36.5cm and the baby is nice and low.
DH just called me to say he was coming home and I burst into tears. I don't know why I'm so weepy. Maybe it's because my laptop cable broke and I can't afford a new one, and so my laptop won't stay on AC power anymore (though I should try putting it on the desk, I haven't done that yet) so now I'm on his computer which I just turned on. Maybe it's because I just finished reading How My Breasts Saved the World, which is a cute little anecdotal breastfeeding book but which I couldn't relate to at all.
I feel ridiculous. Today at my MW appt Emily suggested a support group for me to go to, and I must have sounded like a snob when I said I felt that I was never comfortable at support groups. I grew up in support groups, literally. My mom used to go to them and she'd bring me and my brother along and we'd play in the corner while the grownups talked. I've never found a support group for people who were still novices, but were more advanced than the general novice population. I'm trying not to assume I won't have trouble breastfeeding, but I feel a lot more confident in my ability to recognize and address latch issues without help than a lot of my peers. I felt more comfortable in my DDC at MDC because many of them are second- or third-time moms, who have been there and done that, and our level of knowledge was the same, though this is my first pregnancy.
Yeah, I still have some first-time mom questions, but I've been preparing for this for so long, and I've done my share of nannying, that I feel pretty confident. Everyone says, "oh, it's different when it's yours," but I think the real difference will be that I actually get to do what I want for a change, instead of having to hold my tongue and my opinions to myself. It's my baby, so cloth v. disposable is up to me, crying and breastfeeding is up to me, naptime is up to me. I've taken care of so many new families where they had no idea what choices they'd make in certain situations, but I've been peed on, pooped on, puked on, called poison control, been to the ED, taken last-minute trips to the doctor, and I'm a health care professional now. I think I can handle it.
I think worse than anything is the feeling of being alone. I don't know any first-time moms who know as much as I do who can help me figure out what I don't know. My best friends all live hours away. The closest is two hours to Boston, the farthest is on the opposite coast. And now I lost my primary source of connection to them, my computer.
Maybe I'm so weepy because I had my Mental Health intake today and we talked about my history of having mental health issues. She asked me about my childhood, which sounds pretty easy on paper but was hell to live through. We talked about my nervous breakdown when DH was still overseas. We mentioned the fiasco that was nursing school and I admitted that I've been avoiding bringing it to a conclusion because dealing with them means I have to be in a dark, dark place. Maybe talking about all of that just made me more vulnerable.
Or maybe I'm just afraid that despite knowing more, reading more, learning more, and having more experience than most of the other first-time moms I know, I'll suck so bad at being a mother that I'll lose my kids. What if I suck at this? What if I'm only good at other people's kids?
Sorry, I didn't mean to put this all here. But I'm not taking it down.
First off, welcome to your lodge! I hope your body continues to get ready for your baby's arrival! I empathize with your situation about wanting to make sure you're prepared for any mental health issues that might arise; I think that's very proactive and wise of you. Of course being a mom is hard, and I am sure it's even harder when you know so much about the health aspect of it.
Try to enjoy this time before your baby arrives and savor that time to yourself. I look forward to following your journey!
It's 3am and I've been awake for over an hour. I don't know what time my husband came to bed but I was sleeping hard for a while, then he came to bed and cuddled me and I had one of those burps where you throw up a little in your mouth, and since then I've not been able to get comfortable. He's been having huge issues with sleep recently, saying that every little thing wakes him up. I felt like every time I rolled over to drain the other sinus, every time I shifted the pillow to lift my head up more, I was waking him up again. Plus, the kitten went into crazy-night-kitten mode, so I'm awake.
Hmm, how about a picture post?
Me at 37w, taken three days ago:
My kitten, Purrl, who is cruising toward becoming chinese food at the moment:
DH and I on our wedding day:
My cat Peanut, who just passed away a few weeks ago. I'm still grieving, I think:
Okay, I need to get my glasses or try and sleep again. Glasses ftw!
You do look ripe! All juicy and ready to go. Really glowing there, Mama.
For me, the time right before birth and the postpartum period is a time of major mental discomfort and a possibility for growth. I certainly don't welcome this all the time b/c it's painful, but it's necessary for me and clears out a lot of old issues and I think makes me grow as a mother. I spent the last one in a sort of a rage, angry that my mother died and I got stuck with a ****ty step-mother, angry that I was alone and my baby was high-needs and never hushed, angry that I had to go back to work. I think I was actually depressed but my depression came out in a rage. Anyway, my point is that these emotions aren't rare and that they can have a purpose if you let them. I was able to journal and process my feelings about my real mother and come to peace somewhat about my step-m.
You are going to be the best mom for your child. Sure, you'll have days when you feel inadequate, but this is motherhood and this is how it goes. Try to give yourself a break. Hugs, Mama!
Homebirthing Mama to 4
(((hugs))) Everyone wonders if they'll be a good mom. Even those of us who've already done it once wonder if we can do it again with a child and a baby. A baby who will probably be different than the one we got used to
You can do it!!
Natalie & Dan - June 2, 2001
Samma - Nov. 5, 2004
Tommy - Oct. 19, 2007
OMG I'm miserable. I finally called the CNM I'm using as backup and asked her if i could take a sudafed. Thankfully, she said yes, because I haven't been able to sleep for the sinus pressure. I worked last night, didn't get home until this afternoon because I had stuff to do, and then only slept three hours before sinus pressure and the gross ladybugs infesting my bedroom woke me up. Yes, ladybugs are cute and wonderful and eat aphids that eat your garden. Fabulous. They can do all of that outside without landing on me in my bed while I'm sleeping. That's gross. We have a small swarm of them in our bedroom, not for the first time. I'm totally grossed out.
Anyways, I said I washed all the baby clothes:
The first three piles from the left are all 0-3m clothes. The next three piles are 3-6, 6-9, and then -12 respectively. You can see my little orange bum cover on the arm of the couch.
Anyways, DH just got home with some lemon for me so I'm going to go spend some time with him. I took 30mg of sudafed, if I'm not feeling better in an hour I'll take another 30. God damn allergies.
Yuk! My parents' house used to get infested with ladybugs. I hated it. Everytime we were having company, my mom would walk around the house with the vacuum to sweep them into oblivion. That was pretty funny!
Hope the sudafed kicked in and that you're feeling better!