~*~Conch06/Conni's Birth Lodge - Page 2
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  1. #11
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    Congrats on your lodge. I loved reading your intro so far.

  2. #12
    Conch06
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    My DH tampered with my laptop last week making it impossible to use right now until he gets a chance to reformat everything - so I'm only able to post from work right now. Thanks girls for your warm welcome!

    I wanted to share DS's birth as I discovered this weekend I'm still working through some fears and maybe talking about it will help!

    All in all DS's birth was fantastic! For a first time birth I am so happy with the way it went and I owe a huge chunk of that to a midwife who strangely enough - I can't stand lol! More her manner than anything else - but she has the most experience of all the midwives and she has done years and years of homebirths making her very naturally minded. She was technically the midwife "assigned" to me for DS. I found the group appointments N led frustrating though because she would repeat herself week to week and I felt like we weren't really covering or discussing anything new. It was a minor annoyance at the time but I was assured by my sister (who was not fond of her either) that N was great during birth.

    The week leading up to DS's birth my oldest sister was visiting from the west coast. So my two sister's and I had a blast together. We went to a "lovely" Alberta lake (ok - lovely for us anyway...not tons to pick and choose from when you're land locked lol) and spent a day in the sun and water...and I came home with Swimmer's Itch lol. The next day my mom and sisters and I went to West Edmonton Mall (one of the largest malls in the world) and shopped for probably 4 or more hours. I was 38 and a bit weeks and I figured the walk would help get me that much closer anyway right?! I was big (had gained 80 plus lbs!!!) but didn't have BHs or ctxs at all so I figured it could still be weeks away and was content to wait that. I think it really helped move things along though. I just had a feeling I would be early. However I had a MIL who was 3 weeks late with her first and was convinced that I would be another month at least! That drove me crazy and more and more I just wanted to prove her wrong lol.

    My MIL decided that we should go get pedicures done about a week before my due date. I woke up that morning feeling intense pressure below everytime I moved. I did not feel like spending the afternoon with her! I got up and got ready and thought - hmmm I should take a belly picture. I hadn't my entire pregnancy but I did that morning. Interesting in retrospect. Anyway off to the spa I went to meet her. She was late. There was so much pressure when I sat or stood or anything. I asked to use the washroom (good thing) and relieved myself. When I stood up again I felt a pop and a gush! I wasn't sure what had happened - did I pee myself (every girl's first thought lol!) or was that my waters? At that point it was still gushing every time I moved and there was bloody show so I figured it was my water after all. Then the moment of indecision. It actually crossed my mind...do I stay for the pedicure? The people pleaser in me didn't want to disappoint my MIL! I called DH from the bathroom and told him what happened and asked him what he thought. Good thing for the voice of reason - GO HOME! I came out of the bathroom sopping wet (as I was still having liquid leaking in small gushes everytime I moved) and dripping on the salon/spa's floor. No one talked to me and my MIL still wasn't there. I walked out of the salon and waited for her to show up. She did and I explained what happened. She was so flustered lol. She cancelled our appointment and wanted to drive me to the hospital. Uh...no I think I'll just go home I said. She was pretty insistant but I won out in the end and drove myself home.

    I called the midwife clinic but apparently they were closed on Mondays! (Might have been a nice thing for my midwife, N, to relay to me). I hated to do it but I called N's cell phone to let her know. She seemed a little annoyed to be disturbed (later I found out it had been a horrible week where everyone went into labour and she had had no sleep). When she found out that I had no ctx she said to come into the office the next morning if I didn't go into labour before then. Tuesday morning arrived - not even a cramp. I went into the office where I was hooked up and monitored and then we sat down to talk induction. Nope she did not want to induce me. We had lots of time and since I hadn't been checked my risk of infection was low. Just drink lots, don't introduce anything to the area and lets try to do this naturally. It seemed like a much longer time to wait than I did now when I think back on it. The next day I got a different midwife (N was sleeping or attending a birth) and I said I was ready for an induction. My family was awesome, but my inlaws were making me crazy. My MIL had in the meantime called every person in the medical profession she knew (including a friend of mine who was a student nurse) to get their perspective on the fact that I was still at home and not in a hospital getting "treatment"! It's so amazing to me still that no one in my immediate care circle was screaming "dead babies" to me (not even the supervising OB!) but my MIL was screaming it loud and clear! She actually didn't affect me that much. What broke me in the end was that DH had just started a new position at work and could only be off that week. He had to go back to work on Monday and he had sat around with me for 3 days. I wanted him to be home with me when we had a baby! The supervising OB was brought in that day too - just to make sure all was ok. When I asked for the induction both the midwife (who I had never met before that day) and the OB agreed (she had to sign off on any inductions) saying that she would have loved to see what I could do naturally and me and baby were fine but understood where I was coming from and agreed to my induction. (Boy do I feel somewhat silly thinking back on it). Unfortunately (or fortunately in my case) they were full at the moment so I would have to wait till the next morning.

    So DH and I headed home for our last night together. Finally I could rest - no more walking miles and miles, nip stimulation, raspberries, tincture, and struggling to get labour started. We hunkered down that afternoon, ordered Chinese for supper and watched a rented movie. After the movie was over we watched our favorite show "So you think you can Dance". Apparently baby liked that show - I felt my first ctx.

    It wasn't long before I realized that it wasn't the Chinese - this was labour! It must have been around 8pm or 9pm. I can't remember. They started in at 5 min apart and 90 seconds and by 11:30pm they were 1 to 2 minutes apart and 90 seconds long. I laboured on the toilet because that's where they felt the strongest and I really wanted this to be it! I had DH call midwife N. She asked him to call the hospital instead. He called the hospital who after hearing that my waters had been broken for 60 some hours wanted him to call the midwife N. Sigh...poor DH. So he calls back N who wasn't happy to be disturbed and muttered something about no one wanting her to get any sleep...she said she would call the hospital and we should head in.

    Hospital is only 2 minutes from our house so fortunately it was only a couple ctx's in the car. It being more of a country hospital (we're in a town) it took awhile to figure out how to get into the hospital after hours. Ended up we had to go through the Ambulence bay. DH still gets a kick out of that. The nurse apologized but all the main birthing rooms were full and so for now I would have to go in their tiny assessment room. I didn't really care at this point although getting in the tub would have been nice. She checked me (moment of no turning back) and I was a 5-6! I was staying! DH and the nurse helped me into the shower. This was around 12:30am. DH was getting sleepy poor guy but he was really great. Basically he held a shower head on my back for 3 hours.

    I've been asked what it was like - pain-wise a few times. Honestly I have trouble remembering. I didn't do hypnobirthing or babies but I think I managed to enter my own state of hypnosis. I remember gripping tightly and using my voice in low low tones during ctxs and falling asleep between them. It was back labour - I do know that but it was all very manageable - again kind of put myself into a zone so much of it I can't remember.

    I got out when I felt "pushy" and the nurse was on hand to check me a again - I was at least a 9 (I think) with a little lip of my cervix left. I sat on a stool for awhile and then got on the bed. Midwife J came in at that point - actually I guess she had been in and out but had seen that I was dealing well with everything so had gone to check on another mama. I guess N got to go back to bed. I was actually kind of grateful just based on N's gruff manner up to this point. J was an older lady and so soft spoken and kind. When she had me start pushing she told me that it would take "patient pushing dear - don't worry about it just push when I felt I needed to and be patient with myself and my baby." It's a good thing because that ended up being the hardest part of my labour. I pushed 3 and a half hours. DS was posterior and so I found the most comfortable to be on my back. J had me try other positions - leaning up over the top of the propped up hospital bed was probably where I made the most progress but in the end exhaustion from being up all night and the back labour made me default to my back. DH was pretty much falling over at this point. Because of the small room they removed the only chair so that they could bring in equipment etc. J had him run small errands - or take a break. I remember thinking when he left "don't leave me" but couldn't say it and stay in my zone.

    Here is where the majority of my fear for this one lies. About 2 of those 3 plus hours I remember in detail. I couldn't stay in my zone. The last hour J and DH would pick up my legs to push during a ctx and after it was over they would drop them. When the next ctx started having my legs down was so painful until they picked them up again. I used low tones to help but that didn't put me into my zone - just helped me cope within the moment. I am a little fearful of this stage for this one. I even had a dream about labour this weekend and the beginning was bliss, but when I started pushing it was awful. I think it was my position more than anything so this time that's a major thing for me. The actual getting him out was not an issue. I don't remember feeling a ring of fire - just that feeling we were close and ctx one after another. I was told to slow down but at that point I really really really had to have him out and this done so I plowed on through. Poor little dude had a major lump/cone head and bruise on his noggin. He came out making a bleating noise more than a cry. DH and I joked that maybe I gave birth to a baby goat. He was so sweet though. They towelled him off and we lay there for a long time. I delivered my placenta (what a sweet feeling after pushing out a baby...I loved that feeling!), and everyone left us to bond. The birth time was 7:01am. My induction was to begin at 8:00am. It felt so good to be already holding my baby - not getting ready to go in for the induction.

    We started making calls around 8am. Baby still hadn't left my chest so I had no idea what he weighed or anything. Since last anyone had heard we were having an induction at 8am everyone was shocked when we called to tell them that little Brian Hunter was here! Eventually the nurse and J came back and DH and the nurse left to weigh him while J came back and stitched me. I had a 2nd degree tear - and about 14 stitches I think - probably wouldn't have been anything if I had gone a little more slowly at the end. Note for next time.

    I had 3 goals for this birth.

    #1. To do it naturally
    #2. To arrive at the hospital late in the game (I wanted to be a 6 at least - wish now I had waited just a bit longer at home but still it wasn't too bad).
    #3. To walk out saying "lets do it again". Mostly that was my stubbornness. I had been told (mostly my MIL) that I was crazy that I would "find out" that it was a horrible thing and would want drugs. I hated the people who shook their head at me as a naive FTM - I so badly wanted to not only do it but do it and have a great birth story to tell.

    I think that I accomplished all three goals and I have a wonderful 19 month old boy Hunter to show for it. I'm still working on my goals for this birth. I didn't have a birth plan for the first one because my midwives are truely on the same page as me, but I felt like goals were a great way to do it. My goals are more or less the same, but I'd like to add another or two based on my last experience.

    I have to add - that I loved having J as my midwife for the labour and delivery, but I do acknowledge the fact that N probably saved my natural birth by urging me to wait on an induction. So while her gruffness when I first went into labour really turned me off of her I am grateful for the role she played. Also in retrospect I think that psychologically I needed to get the pressure off - and scheduling an induction did that. I don't know what I'd do in a similar situation again but for this particular situation it took all the pressure off of me and allowed my body to just do what it was meant to do.

    If you've made it this far - bless you. It's felt so good to get this all out - at least as much as I can remember. I've been reflecting on it alot in the last couple weeks.

  3. #13
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    That's a great birth story & your goals sound not only great but achievable. I probably would have been in the same place with an induction as you were.

    Cindy

  4. #14
    Mega Poster hr.lr.07's Avatar
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    That birth story is inspiring, especially for a FTM You did very well! I can't help you with your fears as I am a FTM myself, but I have heard other Mum's on here say that the first baby 'paves the way'.. Either way.. I wish you the very best of luck and hope you get the birth you want
    Lea-Mama to Tegan, born 17/08/08 with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus

  5. #15
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    You are such an inspiration for me. Based on your picture I'm assuming that you are a BBW as am I and a FTM. I love that you're story is so positive and wonderful. Thank you for giving me something to look forward to again. The last few days have been wishy washy for me and my mental attitude about birth and you just made my day and my self esteem!

    Do you mind if a copy your story and print it so that I can have it on me anytime I need to reread it?
    Marjorie 24
    Jon 29
    Christopher 5-7-08
    Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

  6. #16
    HappiLeigh
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    Wow, I loved your birth story! Thanks for sharing! I can't wait to read about this new one!

    So how are you feeling?

  7. #17
    Conch06
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    You girls don't know how glad I am that I can share a positive birth story with you. When I was approaching Hunter's birth it was such a major thing for me to read positive birth stories as well. Marjorie - definitely feel free to grab it and print it out if it will help you stay positive about your upcoming birth!

    This is my last week of work (Thank God!). I get a year off mat leave and then DH and I are pretty sure I won't be back. I work as a software developer of sorts but I've been really struggling this last year. I took off 14 months for Hunter and have only been back 6 and a half months. I feel so behind and I have no motivation to even attempt to catch up. I just honestly can't imagine trying to catch up on two years worth of technology when this year is up. I would really like to be a SAHM - that's all I've ever wanted. But I married for love and not for money lol and we're paying the price of marrying a little younger (23) so DH has never really made enough to support us all. Took him awhile to figure out what he really wanted to do where as I fell into a career right out of college. It's made me the major bread winner so I know we'll take a major hit when the mat leave payments end next year.

    As far as the pregnancy goes. I have good days and bad. I lost my mucus plug at 34 weeks. I've had light spotting and cramping ever since. Of course the week that happened I had Midwife N for my appointment who brushed it off. I don't mind if a midwife says I don't need to worry about it but her mannerisms...I just get really annoyed by the way she does it. I've been told I could go early but I'd really like to make it another couple of weeks. I also don't want to feel overdue at 40wks ykwim?! Is it bad that I hope I go while midwife N is on vacation for the next couple weeks?

  8. #18
    Mega Poster hr.lr.07's Avatar
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    Its not bad at all that you want to go while N is on vacation, especially if she really grates on your nerves. I have two midwives, one of whom I really like and one of whom I don't like at all. The trouble is, the one I don't like is the one I see once a month and the one I do like I see every three months. I really hope the one I like is who delivers me.

    Its your body and your baby, I would probably tell her to sort out the way she speaks to me! I don't like people being disrespectful towards me, it has a lot to do with my childhood etc but if you're comfortable with her other than her mannerisms... Hmm... I wonder how long your baby will bake for
    Lea-Mama to Tegan, born 17/08/08 with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus

  9. #19
    Posting Addict CJWilkes's Avatar
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    I am a little late. Sorry! Congrats on your new lodge! Looking forward to reading and hearing your stories!


    Product of Nathan & Cindy

  10. #20
    Conch06
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    Quote Originally Posted by hr.lr.07 View Post
    Its your body and your baby, I would probably tell her to sort out the way she speaks to me! I don't like people being disrespectful towards me, it has a lot to do with my childhood etc but if you're comfortable with her other than her mannerisms... Hmm... I wonder how long your baby will bake for
    LOL I'm SO not a confrontational person...but yeah N is a very competent midwife, and I don't think anything is disrespectful per se, in that I'm not offended by her - just annoyed most of the time. We've had a couple of run ins this particular pregnancy. Back in December I was having trouble with some preterm ctxs. It was determined at that point that I had a bad UTI. She of course happened to be the midwife I saw the week after that diagnosis (I always seem to get her after some sort of complication minor or not). She more or less brushed me off which irritated me. She did call me back later that day and we dealt with it then. This pregnancy, I think one of the major things that irritated me was during a group appointment I mentioned Spinningbabies.com to the other girls. I had mentioned that I thought positioning of both myself and DS had a lot to do with the trouble I had pushing DS out. She replied that this positioning stuff (of the baby (posterior vs anterior) not the mother) contributing to harder deliveries was in the heads of the moms and not reality. Um...I didn't know DS was posterior till after - so my harder delivery stage was all in my head? Kind of pissed me off. But again - she's just super super blunt and I've always shyed away from that kind of personality. That same personality (and a willingness to brush things off as less serious) I do attribute to saving my ncb with DS with me having PROM but it still irritates me from time to time. Some of it I wonder just how naturally minded I am...I understand how some moms like the OB experience and being "handled" because lets face it - it's kind of nice to have every little concern looked at and made a big deal about. It's just not always wise. So from that perspective N is great at not making big deals about stuff that doesn't need to be a big deal and I think she's good for me in that way too. (Eep I cant' believe I just said that lol)

    Last night I started feeling really poorly. About half an hour after I started not feeling good I realized that the achyness was coming and going regularly every 5 or so minutes. Eep - gave my DH and I a little scare. I don't even have a bag packed. I knew it wasn't even close to resembling real labour but I had a few moments where I wondered if this would turn into it. Only lasted a couple hours and had gone away before I headed off to bed.

    DH and I have been talking about moving back into our neighboring city for the last year. We live in kind of a bedroom community 20-30 mins west of the city. DH started working for a company last month on the very very east side of the city. It's making for quite the commute and we're both a little tired of it. Plus our parents/free babysitters are both in the city, as well as our church and our friends. We're a little tired of the hour long drives everyday. We are finally very serious about it and have started the house hunt as well as working out the financial details. The only problem is that those kinds of things I dream about, wake up after and then can't get back to sleep! So it's the middle of the night here and I'm trying to let everything go so I can get some sleep before I get up and work. The good news is that I only have two days of work left. I work tomorrow, I'm taking Thursday off, and I work Friday and that is it for me...I will be a SAHM for at least the next year other than teaching piano! I'm really getting excited to be done work again and get to be home with Hunter and this new little one!

    Ok my alarm is going to go off in 3 hours. I should try to sleep again. I'm hoping writing another novel on my lodge helped me get out some stuff so I can get back to sleep!
    Last edited by Conch06; 02-27-2008 at 07:22 AM.

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