Thanks for the good ideas on what to wear (or not wear) as the case may be. I will have to find a minute to run by target or somewhere.
I just needed to vent a little - Maybe a little Bubble of Peace for you hypno-moms -
So a few minutes ago I told my husband aout my midwife appt yesterday and I said she told me to ask for a midwife, and also for a nurse who enjoys the NCB, waterbirth, etc, because "some nurses love it and some hate it. You know how that is."
And he said "It all depends on their experience and whether something bad has happened."
That's the part that irks me.
So I said "OR maybe nothing bad has happened but they just want to see a monitor constantly. and the ones who love it, love it because it's so awesome." (meaning the ncb)
So that was my rebuttal. And we weren't arguing or anything like that. I just wish I didn't feel like he were on the "side" of the monitoring nurses. I so badly want him to either NOT have that opinion OR just say to me "But YOU are going to do great!" And if he meant it that would be even better!
Because for goodness sakes, plenty of "bad" things happen with moms on monitors. i am willing to bet that more "bad" things happen with moms on monitors correlated with the monitoring itself or all the other interventions going on with most constant monitoring. Or poor health to begin with.
You ladies who have homebirths are so dang lucky. I am jealous.
To be honest i had more problems with my first birth than i did my second. DS1's heart rate kept dropping because every time i had a contraction his heart rate would drop a little bit and then i would get nervous and my blood pressure would go up and then it would drop even more with that. With DS2 i was only on the monitors for the first hour, well they had them on me the whole time but it wasn't picking up the heart rate or contractions but i was in transition by then, and had the sound turned off and never had a problem with his heart rate dropping until i started pushing.
lol. That would make for an interesting and exciting birth story! I'm sorry your hubby is not showing you the full support that you need.
My DH was for home birth before i was. He hates hospitals and doesn't really trust doctors, i was the one that did.
I'm sorry about your DH. I'm sure he doesn't understand how it's making you feel.
I had a similar conversation with some mom friends today at the playground. They were asking me where I planned to deliver (thinking I would say this hospital or that) and the one friend who already knows about the birth center blurted out "in a bathtub!" They all laughed and then looked at me like "really?" From then on I tried to explain about why I wanted unmedicated labor and why the tub labor would help manage the pain...but I think the intro I got really kind of made it hard, even after one of the moms was complaining about how cut-happy her OB was in giving her a c-section. The overriding comments were "at least the center is next to the hospital, so you're right there, for when something happens" Sigh. It's just our culture I guess.
I've really enjoyed reading your journey! You have some amazing birth stories!
So sorry that your DH wasn't so supportive in his comment.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
Thanks for your comments, ladies. I think what I am going to do is...first thing Monday morning I am going to call my midwife and ask her to be my doula!!!!
I never thought I would have one!
A month or so ago I was wondering if she might do something like that, since she does not attend for births currently, but I didn't think I would need to. But I love the way I feel more confidence when I am at my appointments with her and I think she truly understands my goals and where i am coming from. She really likes the hospital where I am set to go...she always sent her homebirth transfers there, even when there are many hospitals to choose from.
That way, I have the emotional support from her plus the support that DH does know how to give me and I don't have to expect more from him than he knows how to give. Not MORE, but, DIFFERENT, kwim?
I am really excited about this plan!
And...I know she might say yes because she told me she was a doula for somebody last week.! So as long as she's not leaving town or something, I think it will be a good plan.
That sounds like a great plan! I have similar issues with my DH and I'm thinking about finding someone else to be there. We don't have money for a Doula (and I haven't had any luck finding a student), but it would sure be great to have extra help. Why do men have to be so difficult?
I'm really enjoying your lodge! You birth stories are great!