So sorry about the mw/doula thing. I can totally relate to the DH issues---skeptical, medical, etc. I am having a hospital hypnobabies birth as well. I do think it's wonderful that your hospital does waterbirths. I always envisioned myself birthing in a tub, but our hospital doesn't do them. They don't even have tubs to labor in.
I'm so sorry about the disappointment, but it does sound like you really are equipped to handle this just fine. I know exactly what you mean about really connecting to the visualization. That's what works the best for me too. Stay positive; you've got this!
Thank you for the encouraging words.
I can't believe how much of my mind is taken up by thinking about birthing right now. It's all I think about, literally, which I guess is normal for this time! I am also trying very hard to find a first name that we both agree on. We have absolutely not ONE possibility so far. I have had a lot of trouble sleeping, staying asleep, etc, the past few nights. it seems like the nights just drag on and on...even though I am tired. DH has been very busy. Hopefully this weekend we can have some nice family time. sometimes I have dreams that I get really mad at him and yell (I never yell at him for real) and I had one of those last night. But in my dream we made up. Which doesn't usually happen, because usually the dream wakes me up when I am yelling. I must have suppressed anger!! I am trying really hard to not let it show that I am completely overwhelmed. I am not sure how things are going to go when baby arrives. I am trying to let myself go with the flow. And the flow around here reminds me of a lava flow. Of dirty clothes, dishes, spills, crumbs, diapers, dirty bathrooms, toys, shoes, backpacks, and me...zoning it all out. Is there a smiley for someone running screaming into the night?
I am so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed. I was definately there recently. I think you need to talk to your Dh since these dreams are telling you something. It will be better to clear the air now. Also can you call your mom to come now. I sometimes feel those last week are when you need just as much extra help, especially if DH cannot do that.
I have to agree with pp--I was feeling similarly overwhelmed (maybe not quite to the same degree, but definitely feeling stressed out and resentful that I am the ONLY one doing any household maintenance like laundry, dishes, bills, etc etc lately...DH hasn't even been putting his dishes in the dishwasher, just setting them on the counter where they magically disappear. Gotta love that dish fairy. ) Anyway, I don't want to get off on my own tangent in your thread; my point is that even though I felt bad bringing it up to him because he's been legitimately busy and stressed out from work lately, I realized last night that it was affecting my mood and feelings toward him so much that I HAD to say something or else I was just poisoning the air. I found a quiet moment to say something (very sweetly and supportively, using "I" statements and all of that, but also get my point across)...and he apologized, admitted he hadn't been lifting a finger lately, and promised to do better. And when I got up this morning, the dishwasher was filled and running. Saying something can be really tough sometimes, but it's usually worth it. If you can get it off your chest, you'll feel a lot better.
Being zen about chaos and mess is good, but it will only get you so far.
HAng in there. We had a hard time with names for boys too. When I went into preterm labor at 28 weeks the biggest thing I was freaking out about wasn't about how healthy my baby might be at 28 weeks but WHAT THE HECK ARE WE GOING TO NAME HIM?
It's very possible your dreams aren't showing suppressed anger at DH specifically, but just frustration overall. Is there anyone you can call to come take care of some of the little things that are weighing on your mind? I know if there was a very pregnant lady in my ward who asked for a little help I'd do it in a second- we've all been there and know how hard those last few weeks can be- I can't imagine doing it with 5 (is that right, you have 5?) kids running around.
Happy Mother's Day to everyone!
There is not much to update. We have had a pleasant weekend, with DH not working it has been nice. Shopping and yardwork yesterday. Church and just spending the day together today. Of course I got to answer the question "Now when are you due, again?" about 100 times, but that's just because everyone is so nice.
The kiddos have been so cute with their Mother's Day paintings and cards. Some have given them to me earlier this week and others waited until this morning. When i walked downstairs the girls all exclaimed Happy mother's Day! and had set out a bowl of cereal for me with juice and a banana. The funniest part is that they had poured the milk into the cereal obviously a while prior to that. So I had to just grin and eat it! They were very excited to show off what they had made at school and up in their rooms yesterday. i now have some very pretty art for the wall, including some Chinese brush painting (She called it Soo-Mee or something like that) of some cherry blossoms which are just beautiful and watercolored flowers from the other girls. Plus some flowers in painted pots. They really have been making lots of things!
My mother called last night to find out when she might fly out here. We thought maybe Wed, or Thurs, if baby doesn't come before then (I doubt he will).
So it will be very nice to have her here, especially because i won't have to load up the 2 yr old & 4 yr old for every trip to the bus stop and dance studio, etc. I just need to get her room ready, which is never too much work, just clearing it out. It's my stash-n-dash room where all the extra stuff gets put.
I am having a nice little ctxn as I sit here and have had more trouble walking today than before. I am really waddling now haha! Dh said, "I don't think you are going to make it to next weekend, you are looking like you won't." BUT...too bad that's not a reliable predictor!
I really wonder how this one will start...water breaking in a gush like two times or with the ctxns like two times. (Not like the first which was with cervidil and pit!)
A mystery which will soon be solved!
Maybe there will be time for a quick nap this afternoon...
This week i have been getting a project done each morning, then rest in the afternoon when 2yr old naps and 4 yr old hangs out with me quietly. I am also getting lots more pressure waves that grab my attention. Especially today. Lots. Baby is active and rolling around. It feels like he is knock-knock-knockin' at the door to get out, if you KWIM.
My mom is set to fly out tomorrow night. yay! Our oldest turns 9 this weekend. She would love the baby to be born on her birthday. At least she isn't possessive of the day!
MW appt. is Thurs, for whatever that's worth. Not much to do at these last appts. It's great to hear baby's hb, but other than that it goes pretty quick.
I don't expect to have baby until sometime next week. I usually go past the EDD.
I have been listening to my hypnobabies each night, and last night the whole night, actually.
I always come to consciousness at the same exact point in the affirmations. It's the part where she talks about that I can make the decisions about this pg and this birth. I find it very interesting that I always wake up right before this part to hear it consciously. Especially because I for sure agree with this and so far have made many decisions on my own. I have no problem with that.
I also listened to pushing baby out to make sure the track was ok. It was very interesting and calm. I hope that I can really be that calm during pushing. I keep visualizing that part. I have had births where the epidural had no effect during pushing, and I was frantic, and I have had births where I had the epidural take effect right before I pushed. So I have never been all the way through. I know I can do well while dilating. it's the pushing part that I really need the hypnosis for.
I have also read lots and lots of waterbirth stories, hypnobabies birth stories and also hypnobirthing birth stories this week. I am really , really hoping to give birth in the water.