I saw in my other thread about preparing for labour that you're at lodge time! Congrats!!
Welcome welcome! Can't wait to hear about your journey
Welcome to your lodge
dh ~ Jacob
dd ~ Ruth(11), ds ~ Jotham(9), ds ~ Caleb(7), ds ~ Evan (4), ds~ Ted (2)
Ok. Time to post.
This will be my 5th time giving birth. I am grateful for the support on this board because the anxiety of giving birth has not lessened with experience. It's just different to think back to how different each of my children's births have been. My disclaimer to this board is that I have never had a NCB before. Also, my husband is in a pediatric subspecialty and there is no way on this earth that he would agree to my birthing at home. He has seen it all, much too scary to talk about here.
Anyways, I am very much ready mentally to have this baby. It's the physical that I am unsure of. Of course, I think the mind has a LOT to do with how it goes most of the time.
I am glad to be able to talk about how I feel about giving birth and what I want for this child's birth. My sweet DH has always been loving and supportive but of course he just doesn't get it. And he is not the type to rub my back during labor. He might try, but it just never seems to work out and I do better just getting in a zone and laboring on my own or with the help of a nurse if I am lucky to get a good one. I have had 2 good nurses through 4 births. They are few and far between. But worth their weight in gold.
So far, the baby has been healthy and growing well. I had terrible HG for the 4th time but thank goodness this time it subsuding around 20 weeks. I lost a good 15 lbs but never needed to get IV's this time. I have gained it back plus 5 lbs.
I was tested for GBS at my 36 week appt. Don't know the results yet. I have never been + before. Again, my DH has seen newborns die from GBS so abx will not be something I skip if I am +.
My scare was this week when baby stopped moving for 1 1/2 days. He finally rolled around near the end of the NST on Thursday. I did not get sent for a BPP, but it was close because his HR was very low...in the low 100's.
He has been moving better since then. I don't know what caused that but now I am paying very close attention to his kicks.
I am not for internal exams to check dilation, so unless I change my mind at an appt, my plan is not to get checked. I do admit to less patience than last time though. That being said, with my 3rd pg, I was at 4 cm for a full month before she was born...a day before her EDD.
So...back to the NCB. My history of births is this:
1st baby was induced at dr's advice 4 days after her EDD. I knew NOTHING except what my OB told me. He basically scared me that she would be stillborn if I didn't do the induction. This had no basis for fact because they never did a NST or anything. Plus I was healthy. It went smoothly, except for inserting the cervadil caused me to bleed and was EXTREMELY painful, so they had to check for placenta previa. Didn't have it. Had the pit started the next morning and am very proud of myself for laboring every way I knew how (with very little knowledge) until I got an epi at 6 cm. I had AROM after the epi. I don't know why. Other than they wanted to do it. The birth was smooth. She had a conehead and horrible jaundice after, had to return for bililights after being d/c'd for a week (stupid pediatricians didn't listen to mom...her level got up to 27 when they didn't believe it when I told them she was the same color as winnie the pooh and made us wait the whole weekend.) Anyways, I healed quickly, she was healthy after the treatment with the lights and I was preggo again at 7 weeks pp.
2nd baby...We were shocked beyond belief to find out I was pg again so fast, but obviously, we had caused it
I went in to the OB because I was bleeding continuously since giving birth after a couple of months. Also, I would take my little 3 month old on a walk in her stroller and return to the apt feeling very nauseous...an all too familiar feeling. Sure enough, + test, go in to dr, who did an US, and there were twins there. Sadly, one heart was not beating. It was at a borderline time of embyonic development of whether the heart would start beating or would not. So for a few days, we were looking at the possibility of twins. That LO did not develop, and seemed to absorb back into my body. But the other LO developed normally and she was due 11 months after the birth of our 1st.
It was a rough 5 months or so until the morning sickness subsided. It was not nearly as bad as it had been with my first, but worse than most people I know. I am glad my oldest doesn't remember it! I would wretch whenever I changed a poopy diaper or fed her baby food, etc. I am sure some of you have been through that!
So, we were expecting her to be born around April 11th, and one month earlier we "matched" for my DH's residency program in a city 6 hours away. If we were going to go find a house, we could wait until after she was born, or do it before. We dumbly decided to do it before. I was 6 hours from home sleeping in a hotel recliner when my water broke at 38 weeks. My DH did NOT believe me and insisted that I was just incontinent. haha. I was not laughing. I showered, dressed, ate raisin bran in the hotel lobby, all while leaking the amniotoc fluid after the big gush back in the room.
We had an appt. for the realtor to meet us at the hotel. She picked us up and I had to ask her to take us to the drugstore first thing. I didn't have any pads or anything. I wasn't feeling any cxns and we had come all this way to look at houses, so we were going ahead with the plan. I had to confess to our realtor what was going on, obviously, and brought a towel out to cover the leather seats of her cadillac. She was very understanding. We looked at several houses, cxns were beginning but not regular, and finally we looked at the townhouse we ended up buying right when I had reached my limit of doing this. The cxns were strong and I was very crampy. Of course still leaking. She drove us to the hospital where my DH would begin his residency program in a few months. He called the director of his program to tell him we were coming.
All I remember about that birth was once we got there, it was very chaotic, and had many scary moments. I was quite dilated. I had to deal with a dr. and hospital I was completely unfamiliar with. Plus, the pain was very very bad. I asked for an epi which did not do anything. I was totally unprepared for this. I had absolutely NO coping techniques, no knowledge of how to focus, nothing.
Plus baby's HR was dropping significantly during cxns and I remember the OB telling me I needed to get her out NOW. My DH does not remember this. But I DO. They had put an internal monitor on her head (poor thing) and the room was FULL of strangers. I was having a very hard time pushing through my pain and panic. I did it, finally, and she was out. It was not a long labor. My water broke at 7 am and she was born about 4 pm.
Afterwards, though, the planeta did not detach and the OB put her hand all the way inside of me and pulled it out. She had to make several passes to get it all out. THAT was painful. I had no pain meds for that at all and the OB was very impressed with me. I remember squeezing DH's hand really really hard.
The people in my DH's residency program were so so kind to us. They loaned us clothes for me, clothes for baby including gifts, loaned us a carseat, everything. I HATED the postpartum nurse there. She kept checking my bottom. I HATED it. Finally, when I knew we were about to go home, she wanted to check one last time and I said NO and she was very disapproving of me. I think that was my FIRST experience of sticking up for myself as a patient. I know it's a small thing, but it empowered me.
This little girl made a 6-hour car ride turn into a 13 hour trip, with the BF'ing etc but she was a real trooper. She had jaundice too, but only needed the biliblanket at home. I guess she was just excited to see where we were moving!
I didn't mention that our realtor came to the hospital the day after she was born and we signed our contract on the house. That was a productive trip.
3rd baby...First, let me say it took me a while (in our own time frame) for me to want to have another baby. We had had babies 10 1/2 months apart and then moved away from my family. My DH was in a busy residency program and I was busy with two babies. They were sweet and wonderful though. I remember those days as the good ol days. Funny what time can do.
BUT, kind of like the baby I am expecting now, I had a very strong feeling that we would have another girl. I fought that feeling for a while. I BF my 2nd child for 13 months. She wouldn't take a bottle of ANYTHING. I was WORN OUT. I couldn't leve her for more than 2 hours for the longest longest time. Until she could eat solids, basically. She wouldn't even take a paci.
Then, the first time I gave her cereal, or maybe it was the 2nd time, I mixed it with formula and she broke out in HIVES and started choking. She was allergic to the formula. I was scared to death! I called the pedi and they told me to wash her off and give her benadryl. It worked, thank goodness, but at that point I knew I couldn't "switch her over" to formula. When she weaned at 13 months (I weaned her...I was exhausted) we switched her to a soy-based formula for toddlers until we switched her to soy milk at 2 years old. She needed the extra calories because she had been sick so many times during her first year that her weight had dropped off the chart. She is ok now.
Anyways, back to the 3rd baby.
I got pg when 2nd baby was 13 months, basically when I weaned her.
I was sick again. This pg, though, right when the morning sickness began to subside, the pain started in. Pain in my left side and left lower back that was excruciating to the point of vomiting. It happened off and on for about 2 weeks when I finally begged DH to take me in. And the STUPID people in L&D didn't even check me for kidney stones. I didn't even see a doctor! The nurse straight-cathed me (OWWWWW) and there was no blood in the urine. They didn't even thump on my back. They sent me home.
When I saw my OB he actually felt me (amazing) and could feel a lump in my abdomen. Very strange, a bit concerning. He gave me percoet or something like that for the pain and scheduled an abdominal US. Sure enough, there was a big ol lump in my abdomen. But it wasn't connected to my uterus or ovary. It was just out there.
I went for a biopsy, it was not cancerous, and to this day, I still have it. It still causes pain in pregnancy, but when I'm not pg, I can't feel it. Don't know what it is, but apparently it is not too concerning.
I had tons of cxns during this 3rd pg. To the point of going in to L&D I think 3 times before the actual labor. I was dilated to a 4 since my 36 week appt. That knowledge, and what everyone was telling me about 3rd babies coming fast..."don't have her in the parking lot!" made me overly anxious about birth.
Considering how traumatic my 2nd borth had been, I did very little to prepare other than just hope the epi would actually work this time.
Well, the day before her EDD, I was having cxns all night long that were getting stronger and closer. I tried to let my DH sleep as long as possible, but about 4 sm I woke him up and we drove through a snowstorm to get to the hospital about 5 or 5:30.
I got all "hooked up" and planned for an epi. Guess what, that one didn't work either. AND to add to my anxiety I hit transition when everyone had left me alone in the room, including DH,
I TOLD them that she was going to be born early enough for me to eat breakfast...but they didn't listen
I pushed the call ight and finally the nurse came in. i told her I was ready to push. She didn't believe me until she checked me (of course) and then everyone was getting ready quickly.
The OB this time was not one I had ever met during all my appts, so this would be the third time I had a new OB help deliver.
Again, I hope this doesn't violate rules of this board to tell you how hard it was for me, but I want to STRESS that it was because I was UNPREPARED. I am a total believer now in prepared childbirth!!
Anyways, I was just screaming to pull her out, etc. I really felt like I could not do it. I was in a total panic. They gave me something in my IV to try to help with the pain, but instead I had a bad rxn to it...which happened after she was born. She was out, over on the warmer getting taken care of, when I had my panic attack. I could not feel myself breathe. I thought I was going to die right there. I was NOT about to die and I WAS breathing, but that is how a panic attack is. I felt strongly that nobody cared that I was about to die, because they just kept reassuring me that I was fine. I wanted them to check and see if I was breathing with the stethoscope. I think I was being irrational but didn't realize it at the time. I was totally freaking out. The nurse only had a pediatric stethoscope and I made her go get an adult sized one.
I attribute the whole thing to the drug they put in my IV, becuase as I read about it later, I found out that it can have psychological effects. Which obviously happened to me.
My baby was healthy and cute. The doctor had to manually check for pieces of placenta in my uterus, again, but I lived.
I will post about my 4th birth next and reassure you that it was not at all traumatic.