Had my 38 week appt yesterday and decided to go ahead and get checked just out of curiosity. She kept telling me "this is no indicator of when you will go into labor" and I said "I know, I'm just curious if things are different this time or the same." They are the same. It was really difficult for her to reach my cervix---it is higher than it was 2 weeks ago. She said it is soft and long (not sure what that means) and still posterior and totally closed.
No weight gain this week and measuring normal. He is still head down. She did give me the bad news that I will not be able to use my placenta for encapsulation. The hospital holds it for weeks so that it is past the point of being beneficial. She said they sometimes let people come back 3-4 weeks later and pick it up, but you have to mail a letter stating what you are going to do with it----MW told me if i still want it I will need to put in the letter that I plan to bury it at least 3 ft deep and plant a tree over it. Then they determine whether they want to release it or not. It got me pretty bummed out about the hospital again.
I then saw the therapist who told me she wanted me to be prepared for additional meds after the baby is born. I asked about being on very high doses of antidepressants as well as valium and how that would affect Liam via the breastmilk. She said she wasn't sure--am MD would have to evaluate my case, but given my history and my lack of any support system, I need to put the basic needs of the children first and if I need to sacrifice breastfeeding so that I can get the medication I need to function, then I need to come to a level of acceptance about it. I'm definitely not there yet, but I do understand her point. I am already feeling the anxiety and depression rise up despite continuing my antidepressant. I wish I knew all this about the placenta, hospital, etc a lot sooner so I could have planned a home birth and set the $ aside for it.
After that fun session, I went to bookclub where one of the women there referred to the hospital we are going to as the "baby factory" and how she would "never" go there b/c they really put you on the clock there. I'm not that concerned b/c they can't do anything to me without my consent and I will not let them prep the OR for me after only 6 hours of unproductive contrax. The MW also assured me they would not do it.
Anyway, sorry to be a downer today, like I said my hormones are really having an effect on me. And we are into 4 weeks of solid rain and cold which doesn't exactly lift the spirits.
Oh Kristen, how frustrating for you. It's understandable to feel a bit down after all of that.
There are a few PES's (Placenta Encapsulation Specialists) in Oregon - 1 in Lane County and 3 in Portland. If you feel up to it it might be worth contacting one of them to see how they have dealt with this issue & how you might be able to get the placenta released sooner. There's also the founder, Jodi at PBi(http://www.placentabenefits.info) I'm pretty sure she would have information that might be helpful. It's horrible what that hospital is doing, espeically knowing that it could help you during postpartum.
Have you thought of looking into supplements like Floradix for after you have the baby? Anyhow, I hope you see the sun soon & that the rest of your week goes better for you.
I haven't yet looked into supplements that might mimic what the placenta could provide. It is something I plan to do. Even DH, who considers the placenta ingestion to be cannibalism, feels really sad for me b/c he knows how it could help and he is 100% pro-breastfeeding. I cannot imagine not bf-ing my baby due to medication.
I definitely plan to call the hospital just to double-check their policy on taking possession of the placenta. It's sad that the MW has to tell patients to lie to the hospital in order to do something safe and healthy for themselves and their babies.
HUGS Kristen! I hope you can find a solution where you can BF & take care of yourself too.
You know I fight depression & anxiety too. I was so nervous & anxious about the transition to life as a family of four. It is hard without a support system. DH really stepped up this time & I hope Chris does too and things go better than you are thinking they will.
No advice but just wanted to send my hugs and support too! How frustrating--all of it--and at such a late hour, too.
I did want to pass along that in my research about placenta encapsulation I did come across this: "Two recent trials showed a 50 percent reduction in post-partum depression in women with relatively high intakes of omega-3 fatty acids." I don't know what "relatively high" means, exactly, but maybe something to look into.
I really hope you're able to figure this all out in a way that feels satisfactory to YOU, whatever that ends up being.
Sounds like a rough appt! I totally agree about the BFing thing- "sane, functional mommy" is much higher on the priorities scale than BFing. Hopefully you can swing both, but if not- either way there are advantages.
I wouldn't worry about the "baby factory" thing. You're a strong, well-informed momma and it sounds like your midwife will be a great support.
If you want to wait til December, you can have my placenta- I don't want it!
I called the unit manager of maternity at the hospital and left her a msg requesting their policies on taking possession of my placenta. She has not yet called back.
As for the omega 3s, the therapist I spoke with yesterday did mention taking a double dose of them daily for the first few months pp. They are in my multi and DH takes them daily, so there's a big bottle of them in the kitchen already. And summer time in the northwest always means lots of fresh salmon on the grill.
How frustrating Kristin! I hope you can work something out with the hospital. I dealt with anxiety and depression a lot in my early 20s and it can be so hard. I agree that being a happy healthy mommy is the most important thing, but I know for me it would be so hard to give up breastfeeding. I hope you are able to find a solution.