~~~rikkiac (Ericka's) Birthing Lodge~~~

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Mel02's picture
Joined: 01/22/07
Posts: 163
~~~rikkiac (Ericka's) Birthing Lodge~~~

Welcome to your lodge!! I noticed your 36 wks and a couple days. I'm looking forward to your homebirth planning!!

laney83's picture
Joined: 09/24/08
Posts: 231

welcome to your lodge looking forward to hearing about your journey!

perkyblue's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 109

Congrats on hitting 36 weeks, and welcome to your birth lodge! Smile

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

Welcome to your lodge!!! I can't believe you're almost there! It snuck up on me:-)

Joined: 08/03/07
Posts: 3245

Congrats on your lodge!

Cindy

ChristaM's picture
Joined: 01/11/04
Posts: 713

Congrats! I'm in awe of you ladies that do home births! Can't wait to read all about it!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Welcome to your lodge!

nibor_55's picture
Joined: 02/13/06
Posts: 93

Welcome to your lodge! Its getting close, cant wait to follow you and hear all about your home birth planning!

klmj's picture
Joined: 11/24/06
Posts: 535

Ericka!! I've been waiting to be able to stalk you on your lodge. Can't wait to hear all about your journey & your homebirth!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome, I look forward to following your lodge:)

Joined: 05/24/05
Posts: 944

Welcome!!

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

Well, thanks ladies! It's hard to believe I am here again less than 2 years from the last time. I will try a little intro for tonight. I am only on here because I am not remotely tired and everyone else is sound asleep. I should be putting my time to better use.

My name is Ericka and I am 29 years old. I have 2 sons. David will be 3 at the end of April and Paul will be 2 in July. I am 36 weeks pregnant with baby boy #3, or as my DH calls him, the last member of our militia. We do have a name picked out but few people know it. I'll keep it from you all until his birthday.

My DH, Brian, and I met in January 1998. We were next door neighbors in our college dorms. Immediately we hit it off and the rest is history. After dating for nearly 3 years, we married in September 2000. We chose not to start our family right away and spent a few years traveling while DH finished school and I worked as a banquet/wedding coordinator at a French continental restaurant in California. We traveled quite extensively through the Caribbean and Mexico and came to love SCUBA diving. We also took a couple of trips to Alaska and discovered we prefer warm weather!

In 2005, I stopped working upon the completion of our dream home in order to start our family. It took one attempt and two OPKs to get pregnant. My pregnancy with David was uneventful and wonderful. I had always (since the birth of my little brother in 1988 ) known that I would have a midwife attended NCB in the hospital, like my mother. In Washington, at least at that time, MW had to birth in hospitals. It was a complicated delivery, he was quite large at 11 lbs. 2 ozs. and broke his clavicle because of shoulder dystocia. Still, my mom swore it was a far easier birth than mine at 6 lbs. 14 ozs. laying in the hospital bed with an epidural.

Anyway, like I said, I always knew what I wanted. My DH, who works as a paramedic, thought I was crazy. He really didn't understand why I would not want to treat pain, that was the advantage to having children in our day. It took some time and convincing that there was no way he'd change my mind before he came around. We joked about just having our son at home (like it was a crazy idea :shock:) and him never "existing" according to the government. In April of 2006 I gave birth to David after 23 hours of minute long contractions, every 5 minutes. At least 10 of those hours I was on Pitocin after having my MW insist that I needed an AROM to "speed" things along. I also was told that I needed an episiotomy that then led to a 3rd degree tear. I then had the pleasure of being stitched up by the male OB on call that said I "have no business giving birth to a 9 lb. baby without and epidural" while he was tugging and pulling in the sutures without giving me a local.

All in all, it was not my ideal birth experience and I was really pissed about that. I was happy however to have my son who is gorgeous. He was caught by my DH and placed on my chest. When I said his name he looked up at me and made eye contact. I knew then that all the discomfort, weight and stretch marks were worth it. I'll try to find some pics and save the rest of my novel for another night.

Ok, so photobucket is offline. I'll post some pics tomorrow if I can. Thank you all again for the welcome. This is likely to be my last baby so I intend to make full use of this lodge. Feel free to skip ahead, I may get long winded!

perkyblue's picture
Joined: 09/17/07
Posts: 109

Can't wait to see the pics of your boys! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that this baby will be a little bit smaller than the others!

Joined: 08/03/07
Posts: 3245

I would have had to hold myself back from kicking that male OB square in the face. I thought the stitches hurt worse than birth.

Cindy

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

I'll be reading along! This home birth will be just wonderful, I can tell. Wink

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

"lifeisgood" wrote:

I would have had to hold myself back from kicking that male OB square in the face. I thought the stitches hurt worse than birth.

Cindy

If I had any strength left in my legs after having pushed for 2 and a half hours I would have. His name was Dr. Savage, I will never forget him; a savage he was!

klmj's picture
Joined: 11/24/06
Posts: 535

"rikkiac" wrote:

If I had any strength left in my legs after having pushed for 2 and a half hours I would have. His name was Dr. Savage, I will never forget him; a savage he was!

Yea, fitting name! What a jerk.

Wait, did you have David in WA or did you mom have your little brother in WA?

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

"klmj" wrote:

Yea, fitting name! What a jerk.

Wait, did you have David in WA or did you mom have your little brother in WA?

Sorry, that was confusing, it was late. My little brother was born in Kennewick. We lived there for 2 years in the late 80's.

Joined: 08/29/08
Posts: 303

Good luck on your adventure! Biggrin How cool to see all the April mamas getting so close! Biggrin I look forward to reading about your homebirth!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Sorry to hear about that awful OB who stitched you up with your DS1. Your labor experience sounds similar to my hospital MW experience with DD (though I chose an epidural for the pit/ruptured membranes contractions). I'm pretty sure I'm going to have the next one at home.

BTW I love your "We The People" avatar. That's from the 9-12 project, right?

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

"MrsMangoBabe" wrote:

BTW I love your "We The People" avatar. That's from the 9-12 project, right?

Yes! I am a total America and Glenn Beck lover! :waveflag:

klmj's picture
Joined: 11/24/06
Posts: 535

"rikkiac" wrote:

Sorry, that was confusing, it was late. My little brother was born in Kennewick. We lived there for 2 years in the late 80's.

Yea, no worries Smile I just didn't remember you ever mentioning WA before so I thought I'd ask!

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

"rikkiac" wrote:

Yes! I am a total America and Glenn Beck lover! :waveflag:

I was going to pm you and tell you I loved your avatar! But since someone else mentioned it on here...

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

"cmljll" wrote:

I was going to pm you and tell you I loved your avatar! But since someone else mentioned it on here...

Shh, don't tell anyone I am a Constitutional Conservative that believes in natural childbirth, Capitalism and fears the Almighty. I also own guns. I am a scary combo! J/k.

Here are some pics for fun.

Laboring at Starbucks with DH, Brian and my mom in the reflection taking the picture

DS #1 on the scale

Our new family Brian, Ericka and David

Here is a recent photo. He'll be 3 next month! :shock:

nibor_55's picture
Joined: 02/13/06
Posts: 93

Your lil man is so handsome! I love when they look all chubby on the scale too! TFS

klmj's picture
Joined: 11/24/06
Posts: 535

"rikkiac" wrote:

Shh, don't tell anyone I am a Constitutional Conservative that believes in natural childbirth, Capitalism and fears the Almighty. I also own guns. I am a scary combo! J/k.

Heehee, you crack me up!

David is such a cutie!

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

Awww! Cute pics! Love the one of David:-)

Mel02's picture
Joined: 01/22/07
Posts: 163

What a cute baby!!! He's an adorable little man:)

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

Well, it's 5:30 am and I have been up for hour and a half, unable to sleep anymore. I guess 5 hours is the new limit. I am going to the chiropractor again this morning. I think I am in love! He makes me feel so good! I wish I had seen a chiro in my previous pregnancies and I certainly recommend it.

My ILs are coming into town this afternoon. They live about 3 hours away in Western Nevada so visits are sporadic. Not sure why as they are both retired but they are always "busy" whatever that means. My MIL will be coming to stay for a few days when I go into labor to be with the older kids so I guess this gives me a chance to prep her beforehand. My parents live about half mile away but both still work so won't be able to help as much.

I was thinking about DS #2 (Paul's) birth story and sharing it here. Unfortunately, the lodge I had with him is long gone and I am not sure I have ever really put his birth story to paper. In reflecting on Paul's birth I truly could say *see David's birth story*. Unfortunately, they were nearly identical. With Paul, I started having prodromal labor at about 39 weeks 3 days. I would go to bed and be awoken by contractions around Midnight. They would last 1 minute and come every 3-5 minutes. I would get up and labor all night in the family room/ kitchen. I would get on the ball, work on a puzzle, shower anything to stay up and moving. Around 7 am the first night I decided to rest before having DH drive me to the hospital. I woke up around 9:30 am, not a single contraction in sight.

Like I said, this went on for days (nights) and man, I was getting tired of it! Finally, after laboring all night on the 6th of July to the morning of the 7th, I felt like this had to be it. I will admit, and this sounds so silly now to me, I was really worried about #2 going quickly and delivering at home. How funny to think that 2 years later I would be hoping to birth at home! Anyway, I finally had DH take my to L&D at 6 am on July 7, 2007. What a cool birthday I thought!

Arriving at L&D I found out that I was still at 3 cm and 70% effaced. I did have a regular labor pattern and I decided to stay. I think, looking back, I was just done. I wanted to have my baby and quit with all this nonsense. Around 9 am my MW came in and urged AROM. Even with having been so well informed and educated and resolute that I would have NO interventions, she convinced me. Hours later, having only progressed to 5 cm, she convinced me that I needed Pitocin. I was told that this was just my body and how my body needed the "help". I could kick myself everyday for having given in to the MW and going against what had been so important to me. Just goes to show that the most stubborn can cave in the midst of labor.

I labored with broken waters on Pitocin for hours and hours from about 1 pm on. They keep coming and checking me, I was stalled at 6 cm. They would up the Pit and DH and I walked a path in the carpet around the L&D ward. Around 6:45 pm she checked me again, I was still at 6 cm. I freaking lost it. I cried and cried as I sat in the bed. My MW knew not to say anything to me about pain meds or section, I wasn't going anywhere near that.

I think I sat there for about an hour. I was in incredible pain but just kept my eyes closed and my breathing focused. Looking back now, I realize what was going on. I was finally in transition! At 7:45 pm, I felt the most urgent need to push and I didn't let anything stop me. Unfortunately, I pushed and had a BM in the bed (sorry if that is TMI for some but it is really just part of it all for me). When I apologized DH knew what I meant . My MW was stunned when she pulled back the sheet. She was calling for nurses and yelling, "whoa, we are having a baby NOW and we need to get you cleaned up!" Once I was cleaned up and positioned better on the bed (for them, not me :roll:) I pushed 4 or 5 more times and Paul was born. There was no stopping him! At 8:04 pm on 7/7/07 Paul Alder was born weighing 8 lbs. 12 oz, he was 20 inches long. My MW stitched up the small tear and we were nursing away.

I do have to say that one thing that was really cool was the support of the nurses. I had nurses from other rooms coming in and telling me how great it was to see a woman go through so much and not have pain meds. They all said it was very rare to ever see anyone do it by choice. It helped me ego and made me feel really good about staying strong.

Wow, I am long winded when I actually have time to be on the computer. Thanks for reading this if you've made it this far. This is really a place for me to process, one last time, my prior birthing experiences and have them fresh in my mind for this whole new experience. Thanks for letting me share it!

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

Some pics to share, me pregnant with Paul:

The family:

Paul Alder


Not the most recent pic:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Ahhhh, what cute little boys:) I'm a little late reading up on you, but your stories sound like good reasons to want a home birth. I hope your plans work out perfect for you and that this little one suprises everyone and comes with little early labor! I wonder why you can't sleep, I hope that gets better for you like tonight so you can get a few more good nights of sleep before the big day.

nibor_55's picture
Joined: 02/13/06
Posts: 93

You are a very strong woman! I can certainly see why you are going for a home birth this time. I cant wait for your wonderful story! You have a beautiful family also. I agree about the chiropractor too. I was just about to post about it! its been wonderful and cant believe i didnt do it last time either!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Did I mention you are the woman for doing labor with ruptured membranes and pit without pain meds?

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

Welcome! I've been gone for a couple days and look who has a lodge!!!!

momsluvx5's picture
Joined: 12/02/06
Posts: 31

hey Ericka!:)
just a note to say I'll be anxiously following along! I cant wait to meet your newest little guy.

well, better get back to polishing my guns now...

hehehe

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

I could not have made it through my pregnancy without my chiro! Because of a past surgery on my leg, by the beginning of my second trimester I was in such pain I could barely walk! I attribute most of my comfort in late pregnancy to my chiro. My BP went down after I started going too!

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409
Mel02's picture
Joined: 01/22/07
Posts: 163

Wow you are one tough woman!! It will be so nice for you not to have all those interventions pushed on you during your homebirth! #3 is going to be a beautiful birth!! Can't wait to hear it!

Joined: 01/03/06
Posts: 302

I loved reading your intro and previous birth stories. You are stuch a strong woman and I'm so excited to follow your lodge!! I think your strength and commitment to no pain meds will really help me prepare for the same with my upcoming birthing time. BTW, did you do anything like hypnobabies with the first 2? I was curious as to what really helped you get through the toughest moments of your labors.

OperaDiva's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 396

The boys are just way too cute! Home birth sounds amazing, maybe with a future kid Smile

Joined: 08/03/07
Posts: 3245

You have such a beautiful family! I'm so proud of you for being so strong while in the hospital, it's not easy to do.

Cindy

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

"cmljll" wrote:

Ericka...... http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/showthread.php?t=32648&highlight=Lodge

Connie, thanks so much for finding that! I printed it off to keep for myself.

"sarahsunshine" wrote:

Welcome! I've been gone for a couple days and look who has a lodge!!!!

I know! Soon it will be your turn again!

"molly_4711" wrote:

I loved reading your intro and previous birth stories. You are stuch a strong woman and I'm so excited to follow your lodge!! I think your strength and commitment to no pain meds will really help me prepare for the same with my upcoming birthing time. BTW, did you do anything like hypnobabies with the first 2? I was curious as to what really helped you get through the toughest moments of your labors.

No, Molly, I didn't use Hypnobabies with the first 2. I swear I am just stubborn! I had so many people that I couldn't do it, shouldn't do it or wouldn't do it. I was just proving them wrong!

Joined: 01/03/06
Posts: 302

"rikkiac" wrote:

No, Molly, I didn't use Hypnobabies with the first 2. I swear I am just stubborn! I had so many people that I couldn't do it, shouldn't do it or wouldn't do it. I was just proving them wrong!

I think that's what's going to work for me too! I just want to say "see, it's possible!"

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

***Apologies up front, this is going to be a bit of a rant and ramble. Sorry, Brian is at work until Monday and I need to get this out some how.***

I have been reflecting a lot today. 37 weeks have gone by so quickly yet it seems like forever ago that I was drinking wine with Brian and saying that if we ever had another baby I'd want to have it at home. Really, it is a lot of the reason that I wanted another baby. Maybe not so quickly but, at risk of sounding selfish, I have had the dream of my ideal birth taken from me twice and this is the only way I feel I will ever get to have that.

I am stressing a few things right now. I have this expectation of those around me that I don't feel they will be able to live up to. I don't know if I should lower my standards and deal, or say screw it and get b*tchy with them. I have tried so hard to explain (nicely) to my MIL that I want/need her here for me and the kids, not to bond with the baby. I've tried to get her to understand that I need her to be here to cook, clean, keep the kids busy and keep their schedules. I think that she thinks that she has been asked to come to see her newest grandson. I am contemplating not calling them until after he is born (then they'll have a 3 hour drive) so that I don't have to "share" our most important bonding time. It is very likely that my parents will be able to take the other boys when the time comes if need be.

It's different with my mom. I feel like I am more able to be honest about my needs and expectations of the time during and after our birth. I can tell her "NO WAY!" and she understands. I may still hurt her feelings but I know that she knows where I am coming from and how important this is to me. Should I be worried about my ILs or should I just do and say what needs to be said to them? Eeek! Maybe I'll just make Brian do it. The problem with that is that he'd probably get it wrong and I'd be doubly frustrated.

I cannot believe that soon I will have 3 small children. I know now that I have enough love to give, that was my worry about going from 1 to 2. Now I worry that I have enough attention to give; enough of me to give. My other boys are still so small and still need me so much. Am I taking away from them by bringing a newborn into the mix? Will they grow up resenting that they are all so close in age or appreciating it? I hope that they can appreciate being so close. My brother and I were so far apart (almost 9 years) we were really both only children. I hope that I can continue to do more than just meet their basic needs once the dust settles and we work into a rhythm.

I hope this baby sleeps! David was such an easy baby. He slept through the night at 8 weeks. He never cried and always smiled. He was and is such a charm. Paul screamed, ALL THE FARKING TIME, Paul screamed. As a baby he could never be made happy, he would cry unless he was asleep. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 15 months old. I need this baby to be an easy one. I don't think I can handle another infant like Paul. The PPD was bad. The sleep deprivation was bad. The strain on my relationship with Brian was horrible. I worry that I won't be able to handle it this time, or that the other boys will suffer because mommy hasn't slept in weeks. I am trying to be proactive and be prepared to treat PPD this time. Luckily, my MW suffered from Postpartum Psychosis, so at least she has some experience.

Well, OK. That is enough of that. I have a lot still to do to feel ready for this little guy to be born and no motivation to do it. It's like subconsciously I think if I am not ready he'll just stay in for a bit longer. Oh, if only that were the case! I think I might be ready by June. I am off to do some Hypnobabies and get in bed. Thanks for letting me ramble. I hope no one read this far!

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

Oh Ericka, I read it all! Wink

Am I taking away from them by bringing a newborn into the mix?

This is the sentence I want you to think about. Having brothers and sisters close in age is a wonderful gift to little people. Yes, it can be very hard on parents, but doesn't necessarily have to be. But think about the gift to them aspect of things, the cup half full rather than half empty. OK? They'll learn so much from baby and baby will learn tons from them! Enjoy your new bigger family! :grouphug:

klmj's picture
Joined: 11/24/06
Posts: 535

I think your boys will love being so close in age. Sure there will be times when they're a lot to handle and (of course) times when they don't get a long but I'm sure their relationship will be strong because they are so close in age.

As for MIL, I think you should just be straight up and spell it out for her. MILs need that sometimes (mine, all the time ;)). If she sounds like she's going to be more stress than help, I would just call after your LO is born. My MIL wanted to be in the delivery room when I had Alexa and was extrememely put off that no one except DH was going to be. She was uber upset that we didn't want anyone in town right when Alexa was born. She was a total pain when she was in town. I know she was really upset but I had to do what was best for me, DH and Alexa. I guess what I'm trying to say (iny my long-windedness) is, sure your MIL will probably be upset at not getting what she wants, but I think it will be better to tell her now what you need from her rather than trying to deal with it right after the birth.

HUGS!

Mel02's picture
Joined: 01/22/07
Posts: 163

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. My boys aren't even as close in age as yours and I do remember having alot of those same feelings. Honestly for me it was easier after having ds3 than it was having ds2. You're boys will LOVE having a little brother. They won't regret you having them so close. It might be hard or take some time to get into a routine but once you do, you'll see how your boys will love having each other. Because they are so close in age, they will be like best friends!

I don't have much advice on mil. but GL!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

I totally understand wanting to have an opportunity to have a birth where you call the shots. My DH grew up with a brother who was very close to his age and he loved it. There are special challenges to having kids close together, and I think your worries about being able to divide your attention between three is something a lot of moms go through. I think your boys will love the new baby. I hope for you that this baby is like your first and not like your second. DD was a very easy to please baby, so we figure we're due for one like your DS2.

Isn't having IL's interesting? I think a lot of times it is better to have the man deal with his parents because he is understands how the family thinks. Everyone loves babies, so it can be hard for family members to take their focus off the baby. I hope you are able to figure out a way to get your MIL to understand what you need from her. I think not calling them to come until after the baby is born is fine, so you don't feel like your first hours with the baby are intruded on.

:bighug:

OperaDiva's picture
Joined: 12/13/08
Posts: 396

There is nothing better for boys than having brothers close in age! They will pick on each other, and wrestle, but in the end they will be so glad they had brothers they could hang out with, and there is no telling what kind of adventures they will get themselves into! Even with girls, it's great fun to have siblings close in age. I have a brother 15 months older, and a sister 2 years younger, and some of my fondest memories of childhood are us playing together and making up grand stories and acting them out, using ourselves as the actors. A few years after my sister, my parents ended up having even more kids, so now there are 7 of us total, and my youngest siblings are close in age as well, and they seem to have enjoyed it as much as I did.

I hope things work out with your MIL, I know issues with that can be pretty difficult, and it will definitely help to have your DH tell her exactly what she is there for, it's always easier coming from their own child.

rikkiac's picture
Joined: 11/27/06
Posts: 347

Thanks for all the support ladies. I guess I was feeling a little emotional last night. It's really hard on the nights that DH is gone because I have to do all the work myself. I wonder how I will manage but I know that I just will get through it. I definitely think the transition from 1 to 2 was much harder than this will be, especially if this LO is more even tempered than Paul. *crosses fingers*

Joined: 01/03/06
Posts: 302

Ericka, I agree with pps, I think you should have dh let your MIL know what her role is and how much you guys need her help with the other boys. Will your ILs be staying at your house when they come? If so, I would definitely plan to call them AFTER the baby is born. That way there will be no interuptions during your birthing time and you can have that bonding time after the birth.

Your boys are going to benefit so much from being close together and being able to depend on one another. Your boys won't know any different and will most likely consider themselves lucky Smile .

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