This is my birth story that I wrote after having DD1-warning, it is very long!
My due date was Oct. 19 or 22 depending on my midwife or the u/s date and I had been planning for an early arrival my whole pregnancy because my mom had early arrivals with all 4 of her pregnancies. I had told several people during my pregnancy that I would love for the baby to come on 10-10-10 because it would be a cool date for a birthday and it is also my mom’s birthday, but of course I figured the odds of actually getting that date were pretty low. I had my 38 week appointment on Thursday and confirmed with my midwife that the baby was in a good position for pushing her out (I was paranoid that she might have moved into a weird angle or something because I couldn’t tell at all what parts I felt when I poked around at my belly) Friday at work, I told the girl who I was training to cover for my during my maternity leave that I would probably see her Monday because I didn’t feel like I was going into labor any time soon. Went grocery shopping Friday evening and decided to cook a little bit nicer of a meal and have a nice dinner with DH since his work schedule had just changed and he would actually be home by dinner time for the first time in several weeks. I think I may have also picked up a few last minute items for getting ready for baby-sanitary pads, breast pads, etc. that I hadn’t got around to buying yet. I was really tired and hungry and while I was loading the groceries in the car DH called and asked when I would get home because he wanted to use my car to run some errands. I was really upset that he was going out since I wanted to eat dinner with him and started crying-love those pregnancy hormones! When I got home, he said he would skip the errands and just put gas in the car. We ended up having a very long leisurely dinner together and he spent the whole evening just talking and relaxing with me-very not like him since he usually does all his chores in the evenings and won’t stop to relax until he finishes which is usually after my bedtime (he has been on a 12-9 pmwork schedule so even when he doesn’t have to work, his whole day runs later than mine). He even mentioned that he wanted to hang curtains in the kitchen windows that weekend. I was like “who are you and what did you do with my husband?” since I have been asking him to do that particular chore since we moved in a year ago and he kept saying we didn’t need to. Saturday, we went to our weekly potluck lunch we have with friends. I was feeling great and enjoying my pregnant belly. My friends commented that I looked like I had dropped which I couldn’t tell if I had or not. DH and I both took a nap for about 3 hours Saturday afternoon during which I had one or two menstral cramp type feelings, but didn’t think anything of that since it had happened before. Also was not having any BH that day which I had off and on from 18 weeks pregnant. Saturday night we went shopping to look for curtains-didn’t find any we liked but got some baby items with a gift card we had. We planned to go out on Sunday to another store for curtains. We both stayed up until 2:30 a.m. watching a movie. When I went to bed I said, “well, I guess I’m not getting 10-10-10 after all, but I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow so I guess that‘s ok. Come on Isabelle, you need to come tonight for 10-10-10!” I went to bed and DH was doing some stuff around the house. I had just dozed off when I had a really strong menstral cramp type pain around 3 am that woke me back up. Dozed off again and another one hit me and woke me. They kept happening every 15-20 minutes, waking me up. I didn’t think really think I was in labor, but was a little concerned that if I was, I was going into it with no sleep since I had stayed up watching the movie. I kept trying to doze in between the cramps, but then I started having really bad gas cramps and having to go to the bathroom especially when the menstral cramp feelings hit, so I spent a lot of time in the bathroom and was having a lot of soft BMs. Still didn’t have any bloody show and the cramp feelings just didn’t seem strong enough to be contractions to me (although obviously they were!) I kept getting up and down and at some point, I decided to go lie on the guest bed so DH could get some sleep since he had finally come in to bed. There was a pile of washed baby clothes on the bed and I spent a while folding them, putting them away and making trips to the bathroom. I kept thinking that I should be having a nesting urge and want to do stuff around the house if I was in labor, but all I wanted to do was get some sleep so I would have enough energy. I finally got the bed cleaned off and DH came out and asked me what I was doing. He told me to just stay in our bed and not worry about disturbing him. It must have been 6:30 am or so by now. I went back to bed, but only stayed a few minutes because the contractions were now too strong for me to lie through- I felt like I needed to be up and moving around when I had them, plus I still felt like I had to have a BM every time although I think I was pretty cleaned out by this point. I got up again and went on the computer to read about false labor- I was still in denial that I was in real labor because I thought there was no way I would have actually gone into labor on the date I wanted. Started timing my contractions and they ranged from 3-6 minutes a part and were 50-60 seconds long. After about 4-5 of these, I went in and told DH he should probably pack his hospital bag just in case it was real labor. I still hadn’t called my parents-they live around 3 hours away and were planning to come for the birth. It was now around 7:30 a.m. and I decided I would shower before I called since showering would make the contractions stop if it was false labor. They were now very strong menstral cramp type pains and I would say “oh crap, crap, crap, that hurts!” and kneel on the floor when they hit. I took a shower and yelled to DH when I had them-they were between 3-5 minutes apart the whole time. As soon as I got out of the shower, I called my mom and said “I think I might be in labor, I’m not sure if it is false labor, but I’ve been having these cramps since 3 am and a lot of BMs, but I haven’t had any bloody show. I’ll call you back in a bit to let you know if they continue and if we are going to the hospital.” My mom told me later that she immediately was concerned about them getting here in time since she was sure it was real labor. She repeated what I said to my dad and he said he was going to sleep another half hour then get ready. About 5 minutes later he got up and said “I think I’ll start getting ready now, just in case!”
DH and I both kept getting ready-DH hadn’t packed at all. I had packed everything I could in advance, but I had a list of last minute things to pack and things to do-I went into my work email and turned on my auto reply, emailed my work replacement to let her know I was going to the hospital, got our snacks for the hospital together and a bunch of other things. Contractions were pretty steady at 4 minutes apart and I had to drop to the floor and rock and say my “oh crap” routine with each one. I didn’t feel like answering any questions from DH during them and didn’t want him to touch me either which I had thought I would like being massaged during contractions but that wasn’t the case. I started feeling really nauseous during the contractions and I finally threw up during one of them-DH held my while I threw up and that I didn’t mind. At that point I decided that this had to be real labor and I got a little scared that maybe I was having a super easy labor and had just hit transition or something. I told DH that we REALLY needed to leave for the hospital – I think this was around 9 or 9:30 am. I called back my mom and told her the update and that we were going in to the hospital. I tried to eat some cheerios after this so I wouldn’t have an empty stomach and would have energy later. We still didn’t end up leaving for the hospital until around 10:15 or 10:25 am-my mom called my cell as we were pulling out of the drive way and said they had just left. We said we were just leaving too-we had about a 25 minute drive to the hospital. My contractions continued around 4 minutes apart the whole drive-I was really glad it was a Sunday because there has been a lot of construction in our area and on work days it can take almost an hour to get to the hospital. I was worried about having contractions while sitting in the car, but they really didn’t feel much worse than when I was kneeling. I drank some juice in the car to get my energy up and because I was pretty thirsty. When we got to the hospital parking lot, we paid to park and DH was trying to ask the attendant about if we would have to pay for multiple days for an over night stay. I was having a contraction and I smacked him and yelled “Just park, you can find out later, it doesn’t matter!” We parked and walked in-I wanted to drink another juice before we went to L&D but I asked at the front lobby if there was a restroom I could use and was told I shouldn’t use it in case they needed a urine sample. The attendant walked me straight up to L&D and into the ward so I didn’t get a chance to drink more juice before I was in their clutches. DH had to wait outside L&D until they decided if they would admit me. They hooked me up to the belt monitor and took my blood pressure. I was planning to be seen by the midwives on call and hopefully use the birthing tub, but unfortunately, my blood pressure was high and I was dumping protein into my urine (after having no issues with this the WHOLE pregnancy). Also the rooms with the tub hookup were all full. They hooked me up to an IV with some meds to bring it down but ultimately I ended up having to go to the OB side of the hospital since it didn’t come down. I was checked for the first time in my pregnancy and told I was 5-6 centimeters dilated. I said “YESSS, I didn’t come in too soon!” I was really happy about that since I had planned to labor at home as long as possible. They had me answer all the questions for the admitting paper work and then kept me in that room for about 20 minutes while they monitored me. I started getting really uncomfortable on my back and sat up after a while. That made one of the nurses come back in since it messed up their monitoring. I told her I needed to go to the bathroom and she said they needed me to lie down. I was like “so should I just pee on the table here?” and she said “no, just let us get a good reading during a contraction to make sure the baby is ok then I will let you go.” I was like “baby is fine, its just your monitors”, but I laid down through another contraction so they could get the reading they needed, then she let me go. I didn’t actually have to pee and I didn’t try too hard to have a BM since I figured at that point there was nothing left and I might be actually feeling an urge to push and didn’t want to make my cervix swell. I sat on the toilet for around 4 contractions or so just so I could labor in that position without them bugging me. While I was in there I saw I had started having bloody show. I could hear DH talking to a nurse outside the door, they had let him in since I was going to be admitted.-I was hoping I could wait until the nurse left to come out of the bathroom and sneak a juice from him since he had our snacks, but she didn’t leave and I finally had to come out. They told me they were taking me over to the OB side since my pressure hadn’t come back down and I would have to use the belt monitor. I wasn’t too happy about that, but I didn’t argue at that point because I was still able to deal with the contractions while on my back so I figured I wouldn’t make an issue of it unless it became too hard to handle them lying down. They put me in a wheel chair and took me to the delivery room. I told them I didn’t want a male dr. to deliver me, I wanted a female dr. or a midwife under a doctor’s supervision. I think this caused some issues for them since most or all of the OBs on call were male, but they found someone because all of the people who worked on me were female. When I got there, I stayed sitting on the bed for around 3-4 contractions. The nurse, Taylor, was very patient with me. Some other nurses or residents came in and she said something like “She doesn’t want a lot of interventions, but we need to get her lying down and on the monitor or she’s going to have every doctor in the place in here thinking something is wrong.” So I lay down and let them put the monitor on. Taylor offered to break my water and I told her “no, I’ve heard that makes your contractions harder”. She told me if she did she could put on an internal monitor on the baby so I could get up and move around in labor like I wanted. I was like, “no, I don’t want internal monitoring; I will deal with the contractions on my back”. Someone also offered me an epidural and I said No! and one of the other nurses/residents said “she is doing a natural birth and she is handling the contractions just fine”. After that no one offered me anything else. I continued to labor on my back and would squeeze DH’s hand during the contractions. It felt like the contractions were further apart than they had been at home, but when I asked, I was told they were coming 2 minutes apart. They still were about the same strength as when I was having them at 4 minutes apart and they felt like menstrual cramps from hell but they were not at all bad enough that I would have wanted an epidural, I had no problem taking the pain. The nurse left the room a couple of times and I made DH sneak me juice to drink when she did since they weren’t letting me have anything but ice chips. That was some good juice! I kept feeling like I had to have a BM and I asked the nurse to check me again because I wanted to know how close I was. She said that I wasn’t ready to push quite yet and checking would just cause unnecessary discomfort. I labored for what I remember as 1 or 2 more contractions but may have been longer since my sense of time was totally messed up at this point, then I told her that I felt like I had to push because I really wanted her to check how close I was. I didn’t feel like the urge was uncontrollable and I didn’t ever hit transition, at least not as its described in what you read. I just wanted to be close to the end. She checked and told me I was complete with a bit of a lip that she thought she could push out of the way so she had me push with the next contraction. I did not like pushing, a lot of women said it felt better to push than not to push or it was a relief after contractions-to me it was a lot harder work than I had anticipated and I actually preferred the passiveness of just letting the pain of contractions roll over me to the effort of pushing. I started pushing around 12:15 p.m. and my parents were still not at the hospital-they had called again a while earlier and were about 30 minutes away when they called. At some point while I was pushing, my mom came into the room and rushed over to me. She was like “your almost done, honey, you’re doing great!” and looked like she was more frazzled than I was! I said “this is HARD!” and she was like “I know, it IS hard!” She was also stressing because there was a miscommunication about how many people were in the room with me and they had not let my dad in and he had the camera to take pictures. She kept trying to go find someone to call down and get him in and Taylor kept telling her, “Grandma, your daughter needs you to hold her legs and help her NOW!” Someone did get the message down there because my dad came into the room a few minutes later. Taylor told me that I was doing 1 good push and 2 bad pushes with each contraction so I stepped it up and pushed super hard with each push which felt awful-it was like having the biggest bowel movement of my life-I don’t think painful is quite the word, it was more like the awful feeling when you throw up or have diarrhea cramps- a really strong, yucky expulsion feeling. With one big push I felt liquid and thought my water had broken, but apparently it was just pee Then with another big push, I felt more water and that time it was my water breaking-I think it was very close to the push when she came out. I couldn’t feel how close she was to being born but they must have told me as she started to come out because I was pushing with my eyes closed, but I opened them as she came out and saw her come out and the dr. catching her and lifting her up-she was bloody and slimy and pink. My mom said “Oh honey she’s beautiful!” They didn’t put her on my chest right away which I was disappointed about. I saw my husband cut the cord and they took her to the side and started cleaning her up. I didn’t hear her cry right away and I kept asking if she was ok and why I didn’t hear her crying. My mom kept reassuring me that she was fine. The dr. and nurses were massaging my belly to get me to deliver the placenta. I kept asking why I couldn’t hold her and have her breastfeed to help deliver it. It felt like they were massaging me forever-they did finally let me hold the baby for a few minutes then I handed her to my husband. At some point I pushed out the placenta and they checked me for tearing. I had 3rd degree tearing and had torn my sphincter. I told them to please give me a shot to numb the area before they started stitching me up. There were 3 women working on my to repair me and it felt like all six of their hands plus a truck were being shoved up both openings-the feeling was the same as when the baby was crowning which was awful-the numbing didn’t do anything and I made more noise during this than during all of labor and delivery. They kept offering me an epidural which I still kept refusing, I told them to ignore all the noises I was making and just keep working because I was fine. They were triggering my push muscles whenever the tried to stitch me so after a while they gave me something, Demerol I think, to make my muscles relax-they said it would make me sleepy. NOT! Whatever they were doing was painful enough that all that the drug did was make me kind of stupid (er ) Finally after around an hour of trying unsuccessfully to sew me, they said that they HAD to take me to OR and either give me an epidural or general anesthesia to do the repairs properly. I was kind of stupid from the demerol and at first told them to give me anesthesia because I didn’t want an epidural (can you tell I REALLY didn’t want the epidural ), but they told me parents that it would be a lot better and I would recover faster if I had the epidural. When my parents tried to reason with me, it did sink in that the epidural was the lesser of the two evils, so I finally agreed to it. Before they took me to OR they also told me they had to take the baby to the nursery while I was in OR. I said I wanted DH to stay with her in the nursery the whole time and they told me he couldn’t go in the nursery with her because it was against hospital policy. I was like “I don’t care, that doesn’t make any sense, it’s a stupid policy” I told him to at least stand outside the glass and watch her the whole time and I repeated that I didn’t want her to get any formula or pacifiers. And I found out afterward that it wasn’t actually the policy and they DID let both my mom and my DH wait in the nursery the whole time so I don’t know why the nurse who said that thought that they couldn’t? After that, it was off to OR for the epidural- I remember thinking while they gave it to me that at least I didn’t have to worry about holding absolutely still during contractions so they probably wouldn’t miss! Once I had the epidural, the demoral worked and I was out like a light for whatever they did in OR. When I woke up, they told me they had successfully fixed me up and my DH would be able to come in the room shortly. He came in and told me he had been with the baby in the nursery which I was happy about. Once the epidural wore off, they took me to my room and I waited for them to bring the baby to me. There was a delay in communication and it took about a half hour for them to bring her-I finally got her around 6 pm My mom told me later that at around 5:30 pm the nurse in the nursery had told her it was policy to give infants formula after 4 hours and since it had been 4 ? already they wanted to feed her. My mom told her I was already back in my room and could they please wait a little longer. My husband had gone back to the nursery and confirmed that he had just come from my room and I was in fact in there. Since Isabelle wasn’t showing any signs of distress they agreed to wait. So when they finally brought her to me, I was able to breastfeed her and she latched on right away and nursed great which was the absolute BEST feeling in the whole world! I was feeling pretty sore as the epidural wore off, but when she nursed I got a hormone high that took away all the pain while she was nursing. We were in the hospital until 9 pm Tuesday night-we were supposed to be discharged around noon but the dr. on call apparently couldn’t find time to put in my discharge in the computer? So that was frustrating, but the nurses were all super nice and helpful and overall I didn’t mind being in the hospital as much as I thought I would-I actually was kind of glad to have the help and advice from the nurses during that initial period.
Now that we are home, Isabelle is doing great. Breastfeeding has continued to go very smoothly which I am thrilled about and I am feeling much less sore as each day goes by. I am also happy that I was able to labor without pain meds and pleased that my labor did not exceed my expectations painwise. While I didn’t get to do as natural a birth as I had wanted, I feel like the interventions did not interfere with my bonding or establishing a good breastfeeding relationship and I am proud of myself for being able to labor and deliver without any pain meds even though I didn’t get to deliver with the midwives.
Holy smokes I can't believe it's lodge time for you!!!!
I throw up a lot and don't like people touching me during a contraction unless they ask/tell me first too.
"we paid to park and DH was trying to ask the attendant about if we would have to pay for multiple days for an over night stay. I was having a contraction and I smacked him and yelled “Just park, you can find out later, it doesn’t matter!"
Why did they keep making you lie down? Couldn't they monitor you while you were sitting up?
Sounds like they handed the epidural part well.
And they wouldn't let your DH go to the nursery with her? Lame!
So what are you planning this time? Same hospital with the midwives? I hope you are able to do that so there is less hassle!
And so so sorry about your tearing. I had a borderline 1st degree tear and it was still super-awful to get it stitched up. How long did you push? I am hoping to not tear this time, or at least not enough to need stitching. I'm trying to do perineal massages. Have your midwives given you any advice on how to avoid tearing?
Jackie, I know I can't believe it either. I'm not really feeling ready for this one to arrive, lol!
Vicki, I am going to the same hospital and hopefully won't develop pre-e or any other issues that would cause me to be high risk so I can stick with the midwives this time.
Regarding the monitoring, the only methods they seemed to have for continuous monitoring were either belts which apparently only worked properly if I was lying flat, or I guess they could do internal monitoring since the nurse offered me that if I wanted to move around, but that would have required breaking my water which I wasn't going to do. Seems pretty out of date, but that's how it was, I will have to find out if its still the same now. If I am not high risk, it won't be an issue. I haven't been able to find anything that indicates that it is ok to refuse continuous monitoring if you are diagnosed with pre-e and on a mag IV for it, so if I do end up with pre-e again, I will probably put up with the continuous monitoring again. I don't plan to show up to the hospital until pretty far along anyway so either way I think I will only be in the hospital a short time before giving birth.
i don't know what was up with the nursery thing. I am going to ask tomorrow what the policy actually is, but even though they told me he couldn't go, he and my mom both ended up spending the whole time I was in recovery in the nursery with Isabelle so they did let them. Which I am really glad for since my mom was able to talk the nurse out of giving her formula at the 4 hour mark. And they don't actually even have a nursery per se, since the hospital does rooming in. If you aren't having medical issues, you can't just send your baby off somewhere while you sleep, you have to keep them with you, which I of course would want to do anyway. Which as I think about it, maybe the "nursery" was usually for infants with problems so they would want to limit exposure to germs by having parents/visitors in there? I'll have to ask tomorrow at my appointment.
I pushed for 45 minutes last time which is pretty short for a first birth I think. I was more on my back than I would have liked due to the monitoring, although I am not sure I would have pushed in another position even if I had the choice as standing or squatting didn't seem very appealing at the time. I was actually annoyed I didn't have stirrups as they wanted me to help pull my own legs back-I know pushing in stirrups is bad, but I was thinking "come on, your going to make me hold my own legs when I am already doing all this hard work of pushing?" I didn't say anything though and it was probably better for pushing for me to do that rather than just lie back completely flat and let the nurse and DH hold my legs! I am not aware of whoever caught the baby doing anything to help prevent tearing, doesn't mean they didn't, but if they did, they didn't say anything and I had no idea what I was feeling down there-I didn't even know I had torn until they told me as I didn't feel it happen. I am going to ask tomorrow about suggestions from the midwife and I will make sure my DH can help me remember to talk to whoever ends up delivering me about letting me either see or touch the baby's head as I am pushing and maybe use olive oil or lubricant of some type to help. I also think maybe I should have waited longer to start pushing as I never recall having a strong urge to push-at least not in the physical sense. It was more like I was nervous about not progressing fast enough to keep the hospital staff happy-they didn't say anything to make me feel like that, but all the reading and research I had done talking about hospital time lines had scared me and I had no awareness of the passage of time left by that point so I felt a strong sense of urgency to keep things progressing as quickly as possible.
Last edited by Cherrychip; 03-27-2013 at 10:06 PM.
I wonder if my pushing before I felt like it made me tear more as well. The midwives were really good about stretching my perineum as much as possible and I was in the water so I feel like that was a natural lubricant, so I don't know.
And you were early with Isabelle so you'll probably go early with this one as well!!
So I had my 36 week appointment on Thursday. Blood pressure is still nice and low, weight was up 1/2 lb. Had the midwife go over my birth plan quickly-she confirmed that the hospital does not have telemetry-if I am with the midwives and they are using a belt for some reason she said they are good about working with you in whatever position you want, but if you are with the OB and nurses, they just want to put it on you and be able to do whatever other stuff they have to do which is probably why they made me lie on my back last time. She didn't know about the nursery but said that was probably up to the nurses, so no real clarification there. Hopefully I will not run into the same issues as last time, but I am not too worried as ultimately nothing that happened last time affected my ability to have a vaginal deliver or my breastfeeding which were/are my main concerns. I would certainly like to avoid the tearing this time, if possible, but I have to say that I did heal up quite nicely so even if I do tear again, at least I feel fairly certain that things will eventually go back to feeling pretty normal, it will just take some time. When they told me I had a 3rd degree tear last time, my initial response was "I'm ruined for life, we'll never have more kids cause I'm never gonna be able to DTD again!" lol! And actually,(TMI alert here) the tear itself wasn't what caused me misery so much, it was the fact that between my body cleaning out in labor and then the side effect from the meds made me the most constipated I have ever been in my entire life and trying to have a BM when you have stitches in your butt and are afraid to strain at all just is pure torture. It was 10 times worse than pushing the baby out. I will be stocking up on prune juice for the hospital this time, that's for sure!