I hope you ladies don't mind me venting a little.
When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to have a doula with me this time as dh has a difficult time with childbirth. I only wanted a doula that I know, I am a pretty private person. Luckily, I knew that there are two doulas at my church. Unluckily, one got pregnant a month after me. So I decided I should probably go with the other doula. That was no big deal. She has 5 kids, her last birth was a homebirth, she's been a doula for almost 2 years and has a ton of experience. Then she not only found out she was pregnant with a surprise, it's the hardest pregnancy she has had and has decided she can't take on clients (which I understand, it just put me in a pickle). So I went back to the doula due after me (we've gotten closer since finding out we were pregnant) and she would love to take me on but is only taking one client in September and may already have a client. She'll find out soon if the other lady will need her doula services but until then I'm trying to figure out what to do "just in case" since I am past the halfway point and I know a lot of doulas fill up around then. One option would be another lady at my church who will be going for certification in January, but she may already have taken on yet another lady at my church that is due at the same time as me (we seriously have something in the water here). Another option is a very close friend, she's had three natural births and could be a support. I'm just a little concerned not having someone with training.
I feel like doors all around me are closing and I really do need someone there with me. DH won't take childbirth classes with me (it's a long story about how he views birth), he won't even talk about childbirth. I'm just praying that what should happen, will happen.
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time getting a doula that will be able to help you through your birth! It can be very difficult at times when we envision our birthing experience in a specific way and it all seems to go out the window!
Honestly, I've sat through a few births for friends of mine, and I've no training at all... each one has said that just having a female presence that has been there and done that makes all the difference in the world. Yes ideally we'd all have training, but the whole practice of doulas goes back to the past where women in communities would support each other through the process of childbirth. When it all boils down, having someone there who is willing to put in the time and reading (and there is a lot) may be just as effective as having someone who's done all the classes and training!
I had wanted a doula... but they cost too much $$$ and aren't covered by our healthcare so opted to just put DH on the spot and make him do the reading LOL! Should be amusing either way.
Adam and Eirinn
Ashleigh Jun 3 2000, Mackenzie Sept 21 2001, Jayde Jul 9 2006, and Liam Jun 9 2011
I'm so sorry that the doula situation is not working out easily for you! I hope that something changes so that you can get someone you're comfortable with. If not, I would seriously consider having your friend with you. At DD's birth, I had an "unofficial" doula who is a family friend, has had two natural births herself, and has attended several births. She's considered becoming a doula, but hasn't actually had any training. She was wonderful and did everything that a certified doula would do. This time I'm hiring a doula, but only because I'm planning a VBAC and I thought it would give me more confidence to have a doula who has attended many successful VBACs. If it weren't for that, I would totally have asked my friend again. I hope something works out that makes you feel comfortable and supported during your labor!
I've been having similar frustrations finding birth attendants and I've just decided to let things flow and have faith that I will find the right people to attend the birth. I have been praying about it a lot, and I have really seen new doors open for me, as I stop getting hung up on the ones that are closing.
I really hope you find the right doula whether she's "official" or not!
Well, I am really excited to say that I finally spoke with the lady that is about to get her certification done and she is free in September! She just gave birth with the same midwives I am using so I think it will be fun to labor with her and the midwife.
Thank you everyone for the support!
yay!! so happy for you!!