I tore with my first who was an average 7 lbs 8 oz. I had a similar experience that i didn't feel the tearing but that the stitches were the worst part of the birth (at least the most painful part) Well, with my second I didn't tear at all. I was on all fours instead of semi-reclined. Even with an 11 lb baby I didn't tear. I was scared of the tearing since it was a hard recovery because of that (and from them pushing on my stomach)