ARGH! (vent from someone who doesn't post much here)

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cindyanns's picture
Joined: 02/20/10
Posts: 775
ARGH! (vent from someone who doesn't post much here)

I really don't post much in here (I mainly hang out in the Dec boards), but I thought this topic was much more appropriate here than in there.

People have really been making me mad with their discouraging (and even insulting) comments when I tell them I plan on a natural childbirth. A couple weeks ago a friend of mine said she saw some show where the women was giving natural birth and shared her opinion that, "Women these days aren't strong enough for natural childbirth. They're just much weaker than they used to be."

My aunt told me, "Don't be stupid. Epidurals make it much easier on you, why would you put yourself through that?"

Then yesterday I was out with my cousin and told her about my intentions for a natural birth (after she ASKED), her response was, "Haha! Good luck with that, I'll call you a month later and see if you got the epidural. You will."

Excuse me? Since when is it OKAY to be so rude?? Just because I'm a FTM doesn't mean I am incapable of giving natural childbirth.

Of course, I return the rude comments when they are out of line, and I just tell people why I'm choosing natural childbirth when I don't think they're trying to be rude. But I'm so SICK of hearing it. I feel like screaming, "GET OFF MY BACK, IT'S NONE OF YOU D@MN BUSINESS!!"

Any other FTMs getting this ALL that time??

SLC42's picture
Joined: 03/18/10
Posts: 39

I got some of the same crap when I was a FTM. It really stinks that so many people are so rude and unsupportive.

I was lucky though in that my mother delivered the three of us without pain meds. I told all the nay sayers that I was from the same stock and that shut most of them up. I also explained that I'm not trying to be a "hero" just doing what I feel is best for me and my babies.

Unfortunately it's just an early example of how all these people with opinions are just going to keep shoving them at you. Hang in there.

MommyJannah's picture
Joined: 08/25/08
Posts: 109

It doesn't end with your first. I still get comments like that and I'm on my 4th. lol

BuckeyeK's picture
Joined: 10/23/06
Posts: 3087

People have very negative attitudes about childbirth these days. I think it is because most people have no idea what natural childbirth is anymore. If someone tells you their birth story, you will most likely hear the words "induction" and/or "pitocin" (and then all the other medical interventions that go with those) in there somewhere, and of course statistically 1/3 of them are also going to involve a c-section. And if you watch overdramatisized shows like "A Baby Story" it's even worse. It's sad, but that has been my observation. Most women just don't know what childbirth can be, only what it has become in this country (over managed and overmedicated for the majority of women, IMO).

Joined: 08/22/06
Posts: 621

It sucks. And the reason it makes me so mad is that it seems anyone thinks they can say anything to me, but the minute I open my mouth and give answers that have reasoning behind it, somehow I offend the person (you know, the one who offended me to begin with)

One friend of mine came to the house to visit after DS was born and was *still* skeptical. She said, "You really didn't have an epidural?" ugh....

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Yeah, it sucks as a FTM. Not that I'm not getting any crap for it this time around, but at least now I can say "actually, Ive' been there and done that and an epidural never crossed my mind." You too can one day say this:) While their comments are annoying, don't let them get you down or doubt your ability to do it.

I think a lot of it is that people are projecting their fears and experiences on to you. Some women sadly feel that if you can "handle" a natural birth and they had a medicated birth, that that makes them somehow inferior. Honestly, though, I think a lot more women could "handle" natural childbirth if they simply educated themselves and lost the inherit fear and distrust of the whole process. Pain tolerance is actually a very small part of it, in my opinion. A lot of having a successful, "handleable" childbirth is simply making the right decisions leading up to it- good care provider, letting baby choose their own birthdate, being informed about procedures that may come up that would make the process harder...
Women these days are NOT weaker, they just believe it when they are told that they are.:(

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Oh big hugs to you. I hated that so much. I felt like I was constantly defending myself and I'm not a fighter! So I just started answering "I don't know" when people asked me ANYthing about the birth - epidural, circumcision, vaccinations, etc.

Try to stay sane!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

"jooniper" wrote:

I think a lot of it is that people are projecting their fears and experiences on to you. Some women sadly feel that if you can "handle" a natural birth and they had a medicated birth, that that makes them somehow inferior. Honestly, though, I think a lot more women could "handle" natural childbirth if they simply educated themselves and lost the inherit fear and distrust of the whole process. Pain tolerance is actually a very small part of it, in my opinion. A lot of having a successful, "handleable" childbirth is simply making the right decisions leading up to it- good care provider, letting baby choose their own birthdate, being informed about procedures that may come up that would make the process harder...
Women these days are NOT weaker, they just believe it when they are told that they are.:(

A million times this!

I'm very fortunate in that I don't get many negative comments. My mother had all three kiddos pain med free and all my other family members and friends are very supportive of my decision to go au naturale (it helps to be surrounded by hippies). I have however gotten comments from complete/near strangers (surprisingly a lot of them are men). It usually starts when I say I'm giving birth at a birth center and spirals out from there. I take it as an opportunity to educate people. I don't care if it offends them as it clearly doesn't bother them to attack my personal decisions. I'm extremely stubborn and such comments just fuel my fire. Oh, so you think I'm weak and I'll be begging for an epidural, do ya? Well then, I'm just going to go out in the woods and pop out my baby all by myself. That's actually what my MIL did with all 5 of her kids.

If you're not the "I'll show you" type, try and avoid such people if you can and try a program like Hypnobabies or Hypnobirthing, which both concentrate heavily on empowerment through affirmations and education. Read uplifting birth stories such as those posted here. The best thing you can do is have faith that your body and your baby know exactly what to do. Immerse yourself in positivity and when you do run into negative Nancys, practice tuning out the outside world and concentrating on your baby.

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

I got it all the time with my second. Everyone kept telling me that once I was in labor I would change my mind especially sense I had an Epi with my first. I just told them that I had no reason to get an epi because they don't work for me. If I would have ended up with a c-section they would have had to knock me out cold because I was just not numbing up. People are rude and just don't get it. I wish people would just be respectful of OUR decisions with OUR baby and let us make the choice we feel is right. Honestly IMO labor isn't painful unless you expect it to be and let it be. My natural birth was far less "painful" than my induced epidural birth. Infact it was never painful.

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Yeah, the funny thing is, if I say that I won't get an epidural because of my low blood pressure problems (which is true), women immediately accept that and back off. But if I tell them I won't get one because I don't want one (which is more the truth), then women start whipping out the negativity. Funny what that says.

ecoberry1's picture
Joined: 01/08/10
Posts: 250

I really think those comments stem from people's fear of childbirth. And fear, as we know, stems from iignorance. It's very sad that so many women fear it and just submit themselves and their bodies to doctors and hospitals. I'm sorry you have to keep defending your choice. Hopefully, if you hang out on this forum enough, you'll have plenty of quick replies and will be able to fend off the naysayers. Perhaps you could start spouting statistics about the percentage of epidurals that lead to c-sections, or whatnot. I don't personally now any stats off the top of my head, but the ladies in this forum are incredibly knowledgeable and there are lots of links to sites and articles. I've really learned a lot since I started hanging out here. Best of luck on your journey.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

oooo! I hate those comments!

I was a first time mom with DS and I had a natural birth. I also heard millions of comments including from my aunts and people close to me saying there is no way and why would you want to. *sigh* umm - how about the fact that you're told not to take anything other than tylenol and then you are going to drug the baby up right before they are born...does that make any sense?? Or how about the empowerment you feel from delivering a baby and you controlling the situation. Or how about not wanting to be numb from the waist down and not wanting a huge needle in my back! And those are just the starting point!!! LOL

my advice - either tell people and be prepared to defend your choice, or don't share your choices with anyone who might be negative. I started with the first choice but moved on to #2 after I was fed up!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

I find the general attitude towards natural childbirth in mainstream American culture very frustraiting. Partly because I used to buy into that same attitude. Then when I decided I really wanted a NCB with my first, people gave me crap for it, too. I wanted to prove them wrong, and then it was even worse when I didn't (I had a somewhat unusual labor with my first--I having prodromal labor andr had pre-labor rupture of membranes and ended up on pitocin after not sleeping all night). I just *knew* everyone was thinking "I told you so" and I wanted to scream "No! It's not what you think!" My second birth felt very redeeming.

I think a lot of women do best when they put a lot of effort into preparing for birth, whatever that preparation may be (I personally love Hypnobabies). It is the women who say they'll "try it and see" but don't do anything to educatre themselves on birth interventions or practice relaxation techniques or anything like that who end up "changing their minds"--and I think a lot of people either have experienced this or have seen women experience it--they don't have experience with women who are prepared and committed to NCB.

We'd love it if you hang out more here. This board is a great source of support.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I'm so sorry you are getting so negative attitudes on your BB and from others around you. My 1st birth didn't go natural as planned and I got a lot of 'told you so' stuff from family and friends. I didn't want to deal with that same negative additude this time so I pretty much keep my mouth shut regarding this birth to all but a select few of supportive friends. Its always a sad feeling to not be able to share your joy and excitement about something like your plans for birth with those around you because of their reactions. Good for you for realizing that the negative reactions that others have are not helpful. To me, this board has been wonderful for finding others that are like minded and share the same ideas about childbirth. You should hang out more here.

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

Sorry you are dealing with so many negative people. I have gotten some negativity from DH's family (his cousin especially, she is constantly commenting on it, asking why I would choose this way etc.) and some people who just think I am crazy for even thinking about a natural birth. I just let it roll off my back. I know why I have chosen this, I have tried hard to educate myself and prepare myself, I know my body was made for this, I don't care what other people think. DH and my family are very supportive of me and that's all I need.

Hang out here with us!

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

"cindyanns" wrote:

"Women these days aren't strong enough for natural childbirth. They're just much weaker than they used to be."

Give me a break!

My aunt told me, "Don't be stupid. Epidurals make it much easier on you, why would you put yourself through that?"

Sure an epidural *might* take the pain away, but it also takes away your ability to walk around... no thank you! I think my paranoia sets in, because the idea of not being able to walk scares me.

"Haha! Good luck with that, I'll call you a month later and see if you got the epidural. You will."

Excuse me? Since when is it OKAY to be so rude?? Just because I'm a FTM doesn't mean I am incapable of giving natural childbirth.

ITA!!!!

I get the "well this is your first you have no idea". Yes it's my first, but I'm not ignorant! I've done my research, I know what's best for me, I know the stats for first time Mom's when it comes to drugs, inductions and how they can result in c-sections.

I also get the "don't be a hero" comments, or the people who say "just take the drugs!!" as if my choice somehow belittles theirs.
I'm not out to change anyone's mind. I'm out to have my own birth experience just like every other woman out there.

Childbirth is hard enough, we don't need people discouraging our choices along the way.

**rant over**

AmberC727's picture
Joined: 06/05/06
Posts: 226

I heard that a lot when I was pregnant with my son, and I would just smile and nod, and make a middle note to send my birth story to them afterward. One baby shower with my son was literally everyone sitting around, telling me their horror stories, and telling me how crazy I was. It really annoyed me, but I did have a natural birth with him and it was amazing! You just have to ignore it the best you can.

cindyanns's picture
Joined: 02/20/10
Posts: 775

Thanks for all the feedback.

My mom also gave natural childbirth with both me and my brother. I was nearly 10 lbs... Hello! I've been mentioning that quite a bit when people try to scare me or discourage me. Interesting how her reaction is, "Absolutely! Your body was made for this, you'll be able to do it just fine."

Also, the main reason for my wanting to natural childbirth is because I've been present at 3 births, all with interventions, only one of which was necessary interventions. I didn't appreciate how my friends and family were pushed around when they were on their epidurals because they were literally paralyzed. I also SAW the epidural being administered for the second time on my friend because her first epidural was PUT IN WRONG. Then after birth, she was on HEAVY pain medications for years because of the pain in her back. At a different birth, my cousin was made to wait an hour before she could push after she was ready and wanting really badly to push for the convenience of the doctor.

Yes, I'm scared of childbirth and I probably will be until I actually experience it. But honestly, I'm WAY MORE scared of an epidural or pitocin. I'm really resolute in my decision.

I just wish people would respect my decision to NOT have a medicated birth the same way I respect their decision TO have a medicated birth.

ecoberry1's picture
Joined: 01/08/10
Posts: 250

I'm way more scared of IVs and epidurals than I am of the "pain" of childbirth. The thought of a needle in my spine chills me to the bone. Yes, if I end up needing one, I'll deal with it , but I'd like to avoid it if possible.

DunyaWolf's picture
Joined: 07/25/08
Posts: 223

"MrsMangoBabe" wrote:

It is the women who say they'll "try it and see" but don't do anything to educatre themselves on birth interventions or practice relaxation techniques or anything like that who end up "changing their minds"--and I think a lot of people either have experienced this or have seen women experience it--they don't have experience with women who are prepared and committed to NCB.

That was me! I knew I wanted to try for a natural birth, took a general childbirth class that touched on natural pain relief techniques but only really briefly. I figured I'd go in and see what happened... but realized afterwords that I was NOT prepared to deal with that amount of pain. I got all those same kinds of comments too throughout my pregnancy, and I do think that stayed in the back of my mind when I was in labor. I wish people would just shut up with the comments... its really NOT what you need to be hearing while trying to prepare yourself to give birth med-free.

ETA: Sort of reminds me, I was having a conversation with a friend on facebook yesterday; we went to college together but haven't talked to her much in the last few years. She is having a baby now too. She was saying how she was going to have the baby naturally with no drugs or anything... And then, she went on to rant about how she is so against any kind of birthing class, claiming there isn't that much you need to know about childbirth- you just go in and do it. Doesn't care about discussing hospital procedures or anything. My jaw just kind of dropped and I didn't know what to say. I'm honestly dumbfounded by her refusal to educate herself about what she is going to be going through. I've never heard of anyone being against birth classes of any kind. What else is there to know about childbirth? Um, a whole lot, actually! I didn't really know what else to say though without crossing the line into pushy/rude, especially since I don't actually talk to her that often. Hopefully her experience will go ok anyway, but I can't help but think she's going to be in for a big, possibly disappointing surprise going into it totally blind..

Spacers's picture
Joined: 12/29/03
Posts: 4087

Three words for you: Bubble of Peace. Blum 3

I have siggies turned off, so I'm not sure how far along you are, but I'm guessing if you're due in December you're getting close to the third trimester. That's when I stopped educating others, and focused on keeping my mind clear of negative thoughts. When people asked about my birth plans, I thought about why they wanted to know. If I thought they had good intentions, then I'd tell them, but if not, then I'd say something vague like, "I'm planning to have my baby at home, and I'll let you know how it goes," or something silly like, "I'm planning a nice average 8-hour labor with a nice average 8-pound baby, and then I'm planning to take a nap." Blum 3 And if the conversation turns negative, I say, "I'm sorry, but this subject isn't open for discussion. My husband & my midwife & I are the only ones who need to be discussing this. I hope you understand." Most people are smart enough to stop talking at that point, but on the occasional run-in with someone incredibly belligerant, I said, "I'm sorry, but I am NOT discussing this anymore. Goodbye!" and walked away.

Good luck with your birth, please consider sticking around, or at least come back & let us know how it went!

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

I think I’m lucky in that I don’t remember a single person telling me at any point that I would be wishing for pain meds (I’m now in my 3rd pregnancy at 35wks). I do remember some people wondering if it was an option with a home birth, and I simply told them it was not.

In any case, maybe it’s my personality, or the people I hang out with, but it just never came up. If they did, I’d probably just laugh at them and tell them that my mom gets root canals without anaesthetic, and that most of the world has babies without a hospital, let alone pain killers. Why would I be any different?

Dunyawolf – Your friend who refuses to take a birthing class has a very interesting perspective. In many ways, I think that she has a point. As much as educating yourself is very important, I found that much of the reading that I did, and the way many books are written, are very fear-based. Not getting into a space of being afraid can help a HUGE amount in relaxing a person and decreasing the chances of interventions.

Personally, I’ve stopped reading up and educating myself on details because I have found that trust that everything will go well is of primary importance. I have a knowledgeable MW and student MW, and I trust them with any choices that may come up.

Furthermore, the only birth class that I ever went to was completely useless. Furthermore, much of the non-American world don’t have birth classes and give birth just fine without anaesthetic!

Now I don’t know your friend, but if she has done enough research to find a good OB/midwife/birth partner, or has a good family support group, then perhaps she is much better prepared than you think.

Then again, maybe not.

Joined: 12/10/05
Posts: 1681

How frustrating!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

I think that not taking childbirth classes or reading books could be a good strategy if you are planning a homebirth, but with a hospital birth, I think it helps to go in armed with information about the risks/benefis of various interventions so you're prepared before you're offered them. I think it is a lot more difficult to give birth "insinctively" in a hospital envirnment. And with homebirth, there is the possibility of transfer, and I wouldn't want parents who were transfering walking into the hospital with no idea what their rights are and what might be done to them or their babies.

Yes, women in traditional cultures give birth without "childbirth education," but they have very different cultures than we have where giving birth naturally is what everyone is expected to do. Growing up in the American culture, many women are exposed to a lot of negative messages about birth, and if we do not know that these messages are not accurate and do not consioulsy reject them, we passively absorb the and they becoem part of our thought processes.

I actually have a blog post about this. http://birthunplugged.blogspot.com/2010/06/fear-problem.html

DunyaWolf's picture
Joined: 07/25/08
Posts: 223

"sarahsunshine" wrote:

Dunyawolf – Your friend who refuses to take a birthing class has a very interesting perspective. In many ways, I think that she has a point. As much as educating yourself is very important, I found that much of the reading that I did, and the way many books are written, are very fear-based. Not getting into a space of being afraid can help a HUGE amount in relaxing a person and decreasing the chances of interventions.

That is true. And to be honest it would seem really unlike her to not educate herself about something, if not from classes then from reading, etc. So for all I know maybe she has! But from her comments it really seemed like... she doesn't want to know what goes on in childbirth, almost like an ignorance is bliss kind of thing. She basically was saying there's nothing else she needs to know about it except that it hurts a lot and one way or another you get a baby. I dunno, maybe I'm missing something since I was only talking to her via internet but I really just have trouble wrapping my mind around that mentality. Without the education and mental preparation going into it- expecting it to only be painful and scary, and not knowing about the hospital's procedures and interventions and potential risks, it really seems like she's setting herself up for a potentially bad experience. :shrug:

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

"DunyaWolf" wrote:

That is true. And to be honest it would seem really unlike her to not educate herself about something, if not from classes then from reading, etc. So for all I know maybe she has! But from her comments it really seemed like... she doesn't want to know what goes on in childbirth, almost like an ignorance is bliss kind of thing. She basically was saying there's nothing else she needs to know about it except that it hurts a lot and one way or another you get a baby. I dunno, maybe I'm missing something since I was only talking to her via internet but I really just have trouble wrapping my mind around that mentality. Without the education and mental preparation going into it- expecting it to only be painful and scary, and not knowing about the hospital's procedures and interventions and potential risks, it really seems like she's setting herself up for a potentially bad experience. :shrug:

To complete the tangent - I hope all goes well for her, and that we've all misinterpreted her lackadaisical attitude. I also hope she has a good support team...

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

I can understand both sides of the childbirth education debate. In our over-medicalized birthing society, you MUST arm yourself with knowledge in order to achieve a natural birth in a hospital. But, I think it depends on not only where you intend to birth but also what kind of person you are. I'm definitely not the squeamish type and I feel empowered by understanding how my body works. So, reading about the nitty-gritty details (and even potential problems) makes me feel more comfortable in my own pregnant skin. Perhaps a woman who doesn't react the same way to hearing about such things might want to take a different approach. Also, it took zero effort to convince myself that my body and mind can totally handle this child birth thing. When it came to deciding whether or not to take classes I struggled with the idea that I had to pay to learn how to do something that my body already knows how to do. I ultimately decided to take classes and so far I'm glad I did. Because I've spent a great amount of time reading about the physical and mental aspects of birth, a lot of what my Hypnobirthing class covers is review. BUT, I've received so much information specific to where I'm birthing that I otherwise would not have. I feel like I've got extra ammo in my tool belt.

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

"MrsMangoBabe" wrote:

Yes, women in traditional cultures give birth without "childbirth education," but they have very different cultures than we have where giving birth naturally is what everyone is expected to do.

Not only are they expected to do it, they witness their friends and family doing it! Not only is it the cultural norm, but they get an "education" in childbirth from watching the experiences of these other mothers and their coping strategies. No books or classes needed Wink

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

I got it a fair amount, and yes, it made my blood boil too!. To one girl in particular I did say "I'm not being brave--epidurals are a heck of a lot scarier to me than doing something my body was built for!"

And yes, my labor was long and difficult, and guess what? Entirely natural. Bite it, naysayers! Wink

Joined: 11/23/07
Posts: 870

i gave birth to my first without any pain meds. That said, i went in hoping i could avoid them, but knowing that i hadnt done it before and thinking there was a reason why everyone got drugs for it, so if i needed them, i was open.

but not an epidural, those terrify me. ugh. shudder.

I did ask for drugs once. if you consider me saying to the nurse "i think we might need to talk about pain releif" and her saying " nope, you're at an 8 and in transition, its too late" ... if you consider that asking.... also, when she said that a voice in my head said "all according to my plan" damn voices!

personally, i didnt get much flack for wanting to go natural. my mom went natural with me, not by choice, i was her out of control baby, and by that, i mean i was doing it the way i wanted to... she wasnt entirely sure she was in labor, was an 8 when she got to the hospital, and i was born, 2 weeks late, 8lbs and 8 oz of me, within half an hour of them getting her a room. inspirational!

my sisters she both got drugs with, and they were 3 weeks early and evil (acording to me)

i made 2 FTM mistakes that made my labor go directions i didnt want it to 1. was having contractions at night, went in.... and they stopped. i should have gone home. but no, Dr said i could stay, so i stayed.
2. i let the Dr break my water in the morning even though i was not in active labor at all. i had dilated 2 cms over night (from 4-6) but if i had just gone home damnit! i was then threatened (and i will use no other word for it) with pit if i didnt progress within 2 hrs. didnt tell me that BEFORE they broke my water!

but thats ok, i made the mistake of trusting a Dr who is well known to be interventionist.

Then walked laps to get it moving so that Pit would NOT happen. didnt stand a chance, labor kicked right up. 2 hrs of that and i wanted to hide in my room for a bit... and went into transition. got stuck in the bed because i couldnt figure out what other position to be in, or get into one before the next contraction hit. but idid get up to pee like 4 times in 2 hrs, that probably helped.

in the end, i had DD while semi-reclining (on my back, but not flat at least) 8lb 8 oz of her, sunny side up! all of my labor was back labor, i dont remember it hurting anywhere but my back. never even felt the contractions in the front, it was all my back.

and that proves that yes labor can hurt, but it can be done without drugs!

i'm working on my birthplan for #2 and reading every book on the list of resources here (i reccomend Pushed, Born in the USA by Marsden Wagner and anything by Ina May Gaskin for a rounded reading list. i do not reccomend what do expect, that book is a little bit of bull. ok, a lot.)

and just hold the thoughts of all those people who said "yeah right" in your head when you think about asking for drugs, and remember how much you want to prove them wrong. after DD's birth, which was half great and half not, i can only want to make it even better, and drugs would not make a birth better IMO. i want to become ill when i read about births full of interventions and moms that have the opportunity to go natural and choose a c-section. i just shudder, they are so niave! its horrible that they believe that their birth is the way its meant to be when i know different! but i dont say anything... because thats a good way to get beaten up... it is how i feel. anyone who has drugs in their birth and tells me about it gets teased be me though. pu$$y! couldnt handle it!

remember that women are just as strong as they always were, but our modern age has brainwashed them into thinking otherwise, and if they think a huge needle in their spine is better than going drug free, they can think that, i'd rather do a 10 lb baby with no drugs than even consider an epidural!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

You've already gotten lots of comments, but I thought I would just add in one more FTM that went completely natural in the hospital. I also had a lot of people tell me I didn't know what I was in for and that I would change my mind once it was happening. I can honestly say that it until the last 15 minutes of pushing (when baby's head was literally coming out, and I will be honest and say I thought I was going to split in two!) the thought of drugs never even crossed my mind. Those last 15 minutes were painful, the rest was really just uncomfortable and intense.
I definitely came through the experience just feeling like I'd done what needed to be done, and there was never any thought that I couldn't do it.

Allie01979's picture
Joined: 10/10/07
Posts: 4706

I had that too when I was preggo with my DS. but I was also very uneducated in everything baby and body. I told my DH that I was going to try for natural but if it didn't work than I was going to get the epi. I wish I hadn't because of the after effects but that's a different story.

After I had my son, I said I wished I had known there would only be 2 hours left of labour that I would have stuck it out. The nurses response was "Why? it's not like you get a medal for having a drug free birth" she looked at me like I was crazy.

It's sad that people don't have enough faith in a woman, a species that has been giving birth since the beginning of time without drugs until just recently.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My medal for having a drug-free birth is a baby boy who wasn't sicker than he could have been. Smile The neonatologist thanked me after for making his job easier.

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