I'm due with #2 in 3 months. I thought we had plans ironed out that two of my sisters were going with us to the birth center to watch our son, but those plans are unraveling fast. Neither of them are proving to be very dependable these days, so I've been trying to find alternate arrangements. I even asked my father to go, and he came up with so many excuses why it wouldn't be a good idea. My heart is broken. There's more to the story than just this, regarding why my family has really let me down in the past few months, but I'll save you the sob story. This is the icing on the cake though. I feel like the only person who really cares is my husband, and no one else wants to be there for us, even though we moved back to the area to be closer to them a few months ago.
I don't know what to do. I need my husband to be my labor coach, he can't have his attention divided between me and disciplining our son. Anyone been in this position before?
I'm sorry to hear that your plans haven't worked out. My suggestion would be to contact a birth doula and see if she would be willing to assist you in this capacity. It's not something that is typically offered as a service, but may be something that someone is willing to help with.
I am a birth doula, and I also provide sibling "doula" services (at a reduced fee) for families who want their other children at the birth, but want to make sure that the child is supported. I do a prenatal visit with the family, and we read a book (with photos) showing a normal birth, and talk about what is happening at an age appropriate level. I am then on-call, the same as I would be for a mom, and come to be with the child and provide support whenever they need me there. I stay with the child so that they can watch the birth, explaining what is happening at each stage. I am also responsible for the child's needs (sleep, food, etc). If they need to leave or are uncomfortable for any reason, I am able to step out with them, so that dad doesn't have to leave. I've found that both mom and dad find great relief in knowing that their other children are taken care of, and get to be part of the birth experience.
I was asked by a friend to do this, as a favor, because she really wanted her son to be there for the birth of his brother. After that experience, I offered the service on my website, and found that it was valuable. I probably get contacted as a sibling "doula" a few times a year.
Hope that helps.
I'd look into the doula thing as well, I've read that some doulas do it and especially if you have no close friends that would be willing to watch him it's something to look into. GL
I emailed my midwife last night and she actually gave me a great solution. We're going to have one of the student midwives watch our son. If he ends up not wanting to be a part of the birth and she has to watch him in another room, we'll give her a tip for her time. If he does end up watching the birth (which I hope he'll want to do), then it's a bonus because she'll get to be a part of a birth that otherwise she wouldn't have been a part of. I just hope he does ok with her since he won't know her.
Yep....I've got no close friends or family to help out either. I hired a doula to be the labor coach so DH could be with DD. My ILs are coming into town during a 2 week window around my EDD (this Friday thru the 28th) but there is a good chance I will still be pg by the time they leave since induction will not happen until 7/2.
You can also hire a sibling support doula if you would rather have DH as coach.
We are in the same boat with my soon to be 5 year old. I do have one friend that has offered to come but I don't feel like I could labor freely or without anxiety while she is in my house. I don't know if that sounds weird. I like the idea of a sibling doula, I should look into that. I know my MW brings her assistant with her to our home during the birth and they have said they will take care of everything but I worry what will happens to DS if they both need to be attending to me for some reason.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)