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Kristina, (formerly known as ~Kristina~)
doula and apprentice midwife
Wife to Jesse 8.18.01
Mom to Ayden 12.18.01, Kailey 7.1.03,
Ashlyn 6.11.05, Dylan 9.29.07 & Riley 12.8.09
Ayden's birth 12/18/01 EDD 12/28/01 or 1/1/02: (Induced, pitocin, demeral x2, epidural, episiotomy)
This is from my journal.
6:00am: Dr. Miller came in to break my water. By this time the contractions weren't extreamly bad, I was able to breath through them. But that was about to change.
12:00pm: Time for some demoral, the contractions were really painful by this time. It was still too early for the epidural, I was 4cm (I think). The demoral knocked me out, I needed to sleep anyway, I'd been up for over 24 hours.
2:00pm: Another shot of demoral, fell back to sleep, but woke up in the middle of a contraction about 45 minutes later.
4:00pm: FINALLY...time for the epidural!! It doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would, you are thinking too much about the contractions.
8:00pm: The nurse wants to put in a urinary cathider (sp) in, I didn't want one at all! But, she decided she would check me before she did that. I hadn't been checked since right before the epidural. The words then came out of her mouth, the ones I'd been waiting to hear, "you're complete, it's time to push"!!!!! YAY, time to push and no cathider! Oh wait...I could feel my feet. My epidural was wearing off and she wouldn't give my anymore! I felt everything from then on. While I was pushing, I informed everyone that was standing around me, trying to help to push this child out, that I was extreamly hot. Noone had been watching my temperature. I had a high fever because of a possible infection from my water being broken so long. They noticed this about 2 hours into the pushing stage. Yes...2 hours. Dr. Miller was then very concerned. He wanted to get the baby out immediately. So he asked Jesse if he could do an episotomy. Jesse said yes of course, now both of us were in possible danger. If the episotomy didn't work, if I was still not able to deliver the baby, we would have been having an emergency C-section.
Tuesday December 18, 2001 10:35pm: 2 and a half hours of pushing, Ayden Nicholas Murray was born. Ayden weighed 9lbs 5.5oz and 21 inches long with strawberry blonde hair. He was born on my 22nd birthday.
Ayden was having trouble breathing and the possiblity of infection, he was taken down to the NICU for observation. I didn't get to hold him. But Jesse did get to cut the cord. I only saw him for a minute and then passed out from shear exhaustion. I woke up around 12:00am on the 19th. I was able to go to the NICU to see my little baby boy. He was doing great and he was going to be coming back to my room around 2:00am. So I went back to my room and sleep until she brought him in. I was so excited. She woke me up and asked me if I wanted to hold him. I said yes, and I held him for about an hour and just looked at him. It was the best!
Ayden weighed 9lbs 5.5ozs and is 21in long. He had strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes.
Kailey's Birth 7/1/03 EDD 7-4-03: (Augmented with pitocin- no pain meds)
Kailey arrived yesterday on July 1st at 10:56am after 5 hours of "real" labor (w/pit) and no drugs. I went in at 2:00am with the stupid contractions that I was having all day and I was 4cm, I was 3cm at 4:00 when my doula checked me. I walked for an hour and a half and then I was 5cm!!! So I was admitted! It was so wonderful when she told me 5cm. But the contractions weren't strong enough for my ob so she started the pit. Everything went so fast after that! My doula got there and the contractions were getting stronger and closer. She was so wonderful and kept me so relax! I highly recommend getting one! It was great! Then my ob started talking about breaking my water, I was okay with that, Kailey was still at -3 station. Ayden stayed at -3 until my water broke, I have alot water w/my pregnancies, so I knew that would bring her down and I was only 5-6cm. Well, my water was broken at 9:45am and Kailey came down immediately and I was then at 7cm. My contractions really started getting stronger and they were right on top of each other. Well, my body didn't need the pit anymore because Kailey was on my cervix now. So I was in ALOT of pain, still NO DRUGS! So my ob started turning down the pit, she has to do this twice. Then a few minutes later I was starting to feel the urge to push. But I was only 8-9cm, so my doula turned me on my side, oh that hurt so much more!!!! Kailey turned in the birth canal and I was really feeling the urge. So my ob came back into my room and checked me again and was able to get me to 9-10cm and she let me start pushing. 12 minutes later Kailey Faith was born at 10:56am weighing in at 9lbs 6oz (1/2 oz more than Ayden), 20 inches long with red hair. Ayden had red hair too but it turned blonde. Kailey hair is more burgandy (?sp).
I feel great!!! Absolutely wonderful! I'm moving around better than I did with Ayden, and just feel great! I just have a 1st degree tear, but it doesn't hurt which is the best part! Kailey is nursing wonderfully and she acts like she's been for awhile!
Ashlyn's birth: 6/11/05 EDD 6/16/05 (2 drips of pitocin, no pain meds)
Here's Ashlyn's birth story in a nutshell:
10:30 Friday: Contractions started getting stronger
1:00am Saturday: Head to hospital, checked 2cm, 20% (she had big chubby fingers) told to walk
4:30am: 3cm, 75% effaced, -3 station, still contracting regularly and admitted at 5am!
8:50am: Doc breaks my water, 3-4cm, 80% effaced, -2, contractions 4-5 minutes apart.
12:10pm: 4-5cm, 90% effaced -2 station and I chosed to start some pitocin to speed up the labor because I was getting tired. But as they were putting in the IV the contractions where getting stronger and I should have said nevermind. But I took some anyway. We turned it off after 3 contractions. lol
1:30pm: 7cm, starting to feel the urge to push with contractions but Ashlyn's head was turned facing my right leg. So they rolled me over and I literally felt her head turn into the birth canal, it was very weird!
2:00pm: Needed to push, was still 7-8cm, but after a minute or two was given the ok to push.
2:13pm: Ashlyn was born weighing 8lbs 10oz, 20 3/4 long! I pushed through 3 contractions. Her APGAR was 9/9!
I hadn't posted my first birth story on the original thread, but I will now.
Willow Rae ~ Born 4-26-04 at 8:53 a.m.
Deborah (SIL) and Vicky (Cousin-in-law) had come to town for one specific reason… to see the baby! They had been here for an entire week asking me on a minute-to-minute basis how I was feeling and if I was feeling any different. Unfortunately, I wasn’t feeling any different until Sunday night (the 25th), the night before they were both scheduled to leave.
We had eaten dinner and watched a movie at Alicia’s (MIL) apartment that evening. Later that night, after getting home and resting on the couch until almost midnight, we went to bed. As I crawled into bed, I noticed that Kylie (my Yellow Lab) had settled on the floor at the foot of the bed. Normally she slept on her bed in the other bedroom. I mentioned it to Ray and said, “Maybe this is a sign and she knows something that I don’t know.” I was awoken suddenly by what felt like gas pains at 12:30 a.m. They felt really different than anything I had felt before. I got out of bed after feeling two or three pains and went to the bathroom. Using the bathroom did not relieve the pain. In fact, the pain worsened. That was when I decided I better wake Ray up to time them. As I felt the pain hitting me, I had to get out of bed and walk. I began to walk the floors from the bedroom to the living room, through the kitchen and back again, all the while Kylie was right by my side. We called L&D for their opinion. They suggested waiting an hour to see if the contractions lessened or increased. After seeing the way I was handling the contractions, Ray was positive this was the real thing and insisted that we go in to the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital at 2 a.m. (4-26) The nurse immediately checked my cervix for dilation. I was between 3 and 4 cm. I got hooked up to the monitors and was told to “hang out” until they could determine whether or not I was truly in labor. The nurse came back to check me an hour later and said that I was at 5 cm, so I could stay. Ray called Mary, our doula, to let her know we were at the hospital. I was already asking for drugs, but Mary told Ray to tell me to wait until she got there before I got any drugs. Mary took what seemed like forever to get there. It turned out that she thought we were at the other hospital. Nonetheless, she got there before I had any drugs. She immediately got me out of bed because it was so uncomfortable for me to lie there on my back. I sat in the rocking chair beside the bed leaning over a t.v. tray holding onto Ray’s hands. Mary had hot compresses that she was pushing against my back, which relaxed me. I stayed in the rocking chair for at least two hours, but it must have been more but I had no sense of time.
At 6:30 a.m. Dr. Schumacher arrived to check me. He checked my cervix and told me that I was at 9 cm! I was so relieved to hear that I had gone so far. I didn’t know how much more I could handle (transition). After being put back in bed to check me and broke my water, he told me my contractions were slowing down a bit, so they put me on a pitocin drip. I remember asking WHY I had to have pitocin if I was at 9cm, but no one was listening. My doula just continued to keep me focused. The contractions got really intense at that point. It took about 45 minutes for me to get to a full 10 cm and begin pushing. The baby’s head was still rather high up, so I started pushing with lots of coaching from Mary, Ray and the nurse. I pushed for about an hour. During this time, Vicky had to leave to catch her flight. She would later be told she missed the birth by 45 minutes.
Dr. Schumacher came back in as the baby was almost crowning. I pushed for another 15 minutes or so. He kept saying how the baby's head was big and that he was concerned. I, of course, blamed Ray! Dr. Schumacher insisted on an episiotomy. It only took one more push and I looked up at Ray and saw him crying. That’s when I realized that the baby’s head was out. I pushed one more time, hard, and with a gush of water came our beautiful, screaming baby girl, Willow Rae at 8:53 a.m. Mary announced to us that we had a little girl ~ that was the most exhilarating moment of my life. She was perfect and healthy and more beautiful than I could have ever hoped for.
The Birth Story of Olivia Anne Archer (home waterbirth)
I awoke on Thursday May 6, 2005 with mild contractions 8-10 minutes apart and about 45 sec. long. but kind of irregular. I woke up, took my shower, dressed, went grocery shopping and spent the day pre-cooking some meals. I had spoken with my midwife to plan our 40 week appointment and we decided since I had hardly slept in 4 nights between all the illness and rib pain that I'd take an Ambien to help me sleep. Kyle, my husband came home from work and we left to go down to the house we are selling to water the new sod. (this has become a nightly adventure) We headed home (1/2 hour drive) and my contractions had picked up to 5 minutes apart and were demanding a bit of attention. Kyle dropped me at home to crawl into the tub and ran to Walgreens to pick up the prescriptions. He called me from the pharmacy and told me they weren't called in. I called my midwife back and she had fallen asleep with her daughter and forgot - oops! So, I gave her an update and she said she'd call them in. Kyle came home in the mean time as the pharmacy was swamped. My midwife rang me back at about 8:00 and wanted to come over and check me out before I took anything. So she came at 9:00. She watched me labor in the tub. I would get the strangest picture in my mind each time a contraction came. It was a 40's gangster-type man in an old 4 door car driving down a long driveway, pulling around and then driving away again. Weird! I got out of the tub. We listened to the baby through several contraction and babe was responding well. She checked me and I was 90% effaced and 2cm dilated. We decided it was going to be a long night and that the baby would probably come sometime over the weekend - but that to take the Ambien anyway and get some good rest. So I ate something, took the tablet and she left. Kyle and I crawled in bed and I was in excruciating pain in the water bed - so we huddled up on the love seat and slept the night away upright in the living room. I awoke at least ever hour peeing and in significant pain. At about 5:00 am I couldn't take the pain anymore. So we went into the front room where the tub was and I got naked and got in it and hung over the side. The water was such a great relief. Kyle put my music on and lit some candles and I tried to zone out. He rubbed my hands and the back of my neck through the contractions. By 6:15 the spacing was getting tighter together and that car image was gone (I guess the driveway got too short ) The pain was getting worse and I asked Kyle to phone our massage therapist and ask her to come and help - so he did. I started feeling really grunty and an uncontrollable urge to push. I reached down to kind of check myself and felt something soft and squishy. i was worried - definitely NOT head, hands, or feet....and I thought Oh my GOD CORD! I told Kyle to call Cossette (our midwife). he did and she was on her way. Margaret, our massage therapist, arrived and helped Kyle work with me - trying to ease the discomfort. It seemed like forever for Cossette to arrive. I don't remember her coming in. I had my hand inside myself the whole time "feeling" what was going on. She was there and hadn't had a chance to check me when I said. Oh MY... not cord....water bag. It popped in my hand as I was pushing through a contraction. From the point on I was in a zone. I kept my hand there, checking myself continuously. I was on 1 knee and squatting with the other leg, kind of hanging over the edge of the tub. My midwife's assistant arrived - but i don't remember much of it. I felt the baby's head and told everybody and I just tried to focus. I felt the head do the back and forth dance as she made her way down, as I had my hand there the whole time. ( My midwife never did check me.) Then I felt her suck WAY back in and I thought to myself "shoot...now I've got to work her all the way back down again" I felt another pop and figured it was a second bag of waters. Finally the baby began to crown. When the head was half way out I remember saying "I'm on fire!" and I turned over into a crab kind of position. Kyle helped me float by holding me under my left arm and my massage therapist held me under my right. i don't remember anything said by anyone - just feeling like there were angels all around me. The head came out and I remember Cossette telling me to wait for my body to tell me when and how to push. Then I heard her say, "Erika, put your hands back down here and deliver your baby." There was one last push and I felt her shoulders come through and she slid into my hands. What a great feeling as she squishy out! I brought her up to my chest and her eyes were wide open and her face and body were real pink. I noticed her hair right away as I had been curious and thinking about that in early labor a lot. She had just a little hair that was very flat to her head. Cossette said she only had 3-4 inches of cord and she was concerned. They clamped the stump off and the two midwifes checked the baby real good. They were concerned she may be hemorrhaging from the cord and gave her some O2. ( but she was fine) Kyle went by the baby and stroked her and I talked to her from the tub. She was looking all around the whole time and tracking my voice. After she began breathing I asked Kyle..."so, is it a girl or a boy???" we still hadn't looked! He said "I don't know" I said, "well, look I can't see." He announced it was a girl and I immediately asked - "Does she look like an Olivia?" and he said "I think so!" Cossette asked me to check myself for any cord hanging. I felt around in the water and in me and could feel nothing and told her. They helped me out of the tub to the birthing stool. I delivered the placenta and got the shakes. We looked it over and it was all very healthy - but the total cord length was barely 12inches. (I guess the average cord length is 55cm) We figured it must have broken during the delivery and luckily both ends clotted up real well and neither one of us had any bleeding. I had one small stage 1 tear and she put in 2 stitches. I took a warm shower and crawled in bed to nurse the baby and we've been doing great since then! She was born at 8:10am My midwife was at the house till noon. She helped me with nursing and we did the baby exam. Olivia was 7lbs 12oz and 21 inches long. Her first apgar was a 7 and then the second one was a 9. She has no marks on her and started sucking her thumb right away. Cossette also did two loads of laundry before she left! Big yeah there! Kyle and I had lunch and I snoozled in bed with the baby. The tub guy came at 1:00 and cleaned the tub and took it away and the whole house was put back together by 2:00. Kyle had all this energy and he wanted to go cut our grass so he did that and I was calling people from bed. His family was here from out of state by dinner time and the rest is history. We lucked out. Olivia is a peach! She slept from 11:30 till 7:30 am the first night (I won't be able to get away with that once my milk comes) We've been nursing on demand or within 3 hours since then and my milk just came in today (day 4). We're working on positioning and my nipples are a bit sore - but no horrific problems yet! What an adventure. I'd do another homebirth in an instant. The idea of going to the hospital NEVER crossed my mind and I never asked for drugs. Although I would never do it without the deep tub or without all the mobility! The water was definitely my natural version of an epidural. I'll do it again in a heartbeat (but not just yet lol ))))
*6 weeks postpartum*
My MW and I sat down and compared my birth story to the notes she took. Since she never checked me...she wrote down my statements as we went along and since I remember me and not anybody else present we could pretty accurately establish a time line. In retrospect when i felt Olivia suck way in and then the second pop...that was not a second bag of waters like I had assumed. That was the point where we ran out of cord and broke it on that next push. So we figured out that she was without the ambilical cord for a MINIMUM of 5 minutes and up to 12. Cosette my MW calls Olivia her Miracle baby. She's growing awesome and was 10lbs 8oz at 6 weeks! I thank God each day for giving me the strength to ask questions and make choices. Had i chosen to alter our birth in even the tiniest way, (being at the hospital, drugs, position, people, ect.) I could have ended up with a horendous story to be sharing. I wish more women would just ask WHY? and trust their gut!
Here's my birth story from Samuel's birth, written in late October/03.
We had had a couple of false alarms… the most recent on the Sunday before with 6 hours of contractions 5 minutes apart that ultimately just stopped. On the Monday (Sept 29, our due date) I went in to the midwife’s office and the pretty much painless 6 hours had gotten us nearly completely effaced, so we were pretty sure it would be soon. The pressure was on because my mother had already spent 9 days of her 2 weeks with us, and we all really wanted her to be here for the birth.
Tuesday night (1 day “past due”), around 9:10pm, we were sitting watching “Bowling for Columbine” of all things and I felt an almost audible “pop” inside. After my mother’s precipitous labours (she delivered my brother in 12 contractions, me in 6, my sister in 5), we figured we’d better call the midwife even though I hadn’t had any contractions yet to speak of. Got up to discover I was leaking waters, although it was the “constant trickle” effect rather than the “mad gush gotta get the carpets steam cleaned now” kind of water breaking.
By the time I got our student midwife on the phone about 10 minutes later, contractions were starting… not too bad, definitely more intense than they had been on Sunday, but not painful, just, well, unavoidable, and I was having to concentrate and breathe through them. The midwives were to arrive around 10pm and just before 10:00 I decided to go upstairs and wait for them… not only can you not hear the doorbell from our basement TV room, but the TV noise was beginning to drive me crazy.
The midwives arrived as contractions were beginning to feel quite serious. I went upstairs to our bedroom and called my best friend Shawna to let her know that she might want to come on over, and we were planning to have her at the birth too. Cristine (our MW student) checked my dialation shortly after, and said we were at 2cm… that this wasn’t technically “active labour”… But by the time she told me this I’m pretty sure I was well into the active phase. She had checked me and then conferred with Anne Marie (our certified MW), then come to talk to me about what I’d like to do next. I think they were hoping I’d tell them to go home but I could feel that things were moving pretty fast and told her I was scared to for them to leave in case they didn’t make it back in time. She told me they wouldn’t desert me, not to worry about it. She offered to do a “stretch & sweep” but I used the excuse of another contraction to not answer the question, I really didn’t want to be interfered with but at the time was still worrying a bit about wasting other peoples’ time. I got over that very quickly.
That’s the last thing I remember really clearly, after that it’s just snippets. I remember Shawna arriving, and I remember spending most of my labour sitting backward on the toilet (leaning on the tank) with Stephen on one side of me and my mum on the other. I was singing vocal exercises through each contraction, I have to call my voice teacher and let her know that her exercises were a big part of what kept me calm and breathing and my jaw loose through labour. I think she’ll like that. Stephen figured out very quickly to take my robe off me during a contraction, and to put it back on, and a hot pack too, as soon as the contraction was over because I was shivering uncontrollably between contractions. I got in the shower briefly (for about 2 contractions) but I was so cold between contractions that I couldn’t stand to be wet so I got out. For a while I worked on hands & knees on our bed, and it’s around this time that they checked me again and were surprised to find I had hit 5cm. I’m kind of amused that they didn’t expect me to go so fast. I remember Shawna coming into the room around then and I was actually lucid enough to speak to her… “I hope you’re not terribly bored” I said, I kept thinking that this must seem so long to everybody else! She told me I was crazy, that she’d never been so excited in her life. I love that woman. J Shortly after that I was back on the toilet – it was a good place for me because of the constant fluid leak and I found it took all the pressure off my “working parts” and let me really relax with each out-breath. I found I needed to rock my hips a lot, and that really helped too. I remember thinking I must be hitting transition… I had to do a lot of “thought stopping” and kept saying out loud “one at a time, just this one” and “I can do this” over and over again. My family didn’t realize that what was going on was that I was fighting with myself – I’d catch myself wondering how much longer I could do this – which is when I started chanting “just this one,” or find myself doubting that I’d could handle any more – “I can do this.” Cristine checked me again around this time and although I didn’t hear her say it at the time, I had only a lip of cervix left. My hindwaters were still intact, and she told me that the baby just needed to turn slightly and that we could help that by breaking the waters, so despite that I had not intended to have my waters broken artificially it seemed like the right thing to do. The contraction that I went through lying on my back waiting for Cristine to break my waters made me understand why women find labour so painful. It was the only truly “painful” contraction I had – the rest of them were incredibly intense and overwhelming, but pain is the wrong word for them. Pain describes a broken arm or the surgery I had when I was 18, but doesn’t *really* define what I was going through – except for that one 3-peaked contraction I went through lying flat on my back. Man oh man that one was brutal and I was really glad to get upright again! It was back to the toilet with me to let the waters drain a bit, and I had about 3 or 4 more 3-peaked contractions and started feeling a little bit “pushy.” Cristine suggested I go back to all fours on the bed, and that did the trick – as soon as I was in that position there was nothing I could do except let my body do its work. I really feel like I was a bystander in the pushing stage, all I could do was keep supplying oxygen to my muscles and try not to interfere.
The baby crowned in 18 minutes and was out in 20. No tears at all (although for some reason I wasn’t expecting the “ring of fire” around the FRONT, somehow I thought that it would only be my perenium that felt that! Silly me), just a small scrape where he had his hand up next to his face (yup, I pushed out a hand along with the head). I reached down to touch his head as he was crowning and was so amazed to find that it was pointy – I mean, we all know that the head moulds but I think I didn’t really understand until that moment how perfectly engineered this whole process is. I gave everybody a good laugh though, they told me to stop pushing as he crowned and I said “he won’t go back?”… They all laughed and Anne Marie said no you can’t put him back. I couldn’t explain at the time that that’s not what I meant, I was just damned if I was going to lose ground and let him slip back upward again – I was fully prepared to hold him there!!! But anyway the next push came and his head was out. The cord was loosely around his neck, and I was laughing while the rest of his body was born through the loop – I’ve never felt such a physical “relief” in my life, it was incredible! The four seconds that it took for them to pass him to me was an eternity. And I was so thrilled to have him in my hands that Stephen had to ask me to check the gender (the cord was between his legs).
Shawna & Anne Marie had started a batch of muffins and some coffee as I started pushing, thinking it would be a while… Shawna says she had just got them into the oven when she heard her name called in a “serious” kinda way and she got sent to warm blankets in the dryer.
45 minutes later there were six of us on our bed eating hot apple-cinnamon muffins.
Our baby boy stayed nameless for about 4 days… somehow it just didn’t seem very important. He is now Samuel (because we love it) Stephen (for his dad) Guy (to honour my family) and will carry Stephen’s surname.
He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I just want to say how wonderful labour and birth can be. I know there are alot of 'horror stories' out there but I honestly loved both of my labours and births. I believe its such a magical and beautiful experience...it is the most powerful and wonderful experience of my life. It makes me so grateful and blessed that I am a woman....I know that sounds 'korney'....but I was really blown away after my first by the power and emotions that giving birth entails...I just want our first time mums to realize that it can be wonderful.
birth story for Niamh~~ EDD Aug 6th
Date of birth Aug 6th
On my dd I was very nervous. It was my first pregnancy and I had a threatened m/c in the first trimester. I had a show at about 36 weeks and then had another very bloody show on the morning before my due date. I went shopping with my mam and then dh came home and after dinner we went for a walk. Nothing was stirring so I went to bed. I woke at about 11 PM feeling uncomfortable. I told dh I thought we should go in to see what was happening.
I got to the hospital about 1/2 an hour later and I was 3cm dialated! I was told it could take a long time yet as it was my first so I decided to walk the corridors. I started feeling quite uncomfortable so I had a bath...the water really helped the pain. I got out and continued to walk and sway but the pressure was getting really bad and the M/W decided to examine me. This was agony as I was stuck flat on my back.....she did the examination and I was 8 cm. I was in alot of pain so I tried gas and air but it made me feel so sick so I just left it & continued on with my breathing. We went up to the delivery suite and as I was kinda kneeling on all fours. I remember telling her it felt like my arse was about to explode and she checked me again and said I was fully dialated...hooray! I did my first push and my waters went.....it was fast and furious after that...I was pushing for 17 minutes. My dd was born at 3:58 AM I had a tiny tear that required 2 stiches (which was bad...I took gas & air for that!) DD was 7lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long and beautiful! I did suffer from PPH...which`is severe bleeding after giving birth. It was quite scary but thanfully everything worked out ok.
Birth story for Aidan~~ EDD May 8th
Date of birth May 5th
For my DS I had a show at 35 weeks. It was very bloody so I thought I'd be going in early. But nothing happened and I was very impatient waiting!!!!
I had an appointment on May 4th and I was told it could happen anytime...that he was well engaged and very far down. She offered to do an internal & a sweep but I declined...I wanted to go spontaneously. I was booked in for a birthpool at the M/W clinic and seeing as my first birth was so fast I was told to go in with the first twinges.
After the appointment I just carried on as usual....when dh came home we went for a lovely walk with dd and went to bed. I woke with a start and felt strange. I remember looking at the clock and it was 3:43 AM.....I wasn't feeling pains but felt pressure...I woke dh and said I thought we should go in 'just in case'. We made arrangements and waited for my sister to come to stay with dd. I was suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. We left the house and I was on the back seat of the car kneeling and squatting...anything to stay off my back!
We got to the hospital and I (for some bizzare reason) refused the wheelchair....I didn't want to be sitting. I told the midwife...'sure we've loads of time' and started walking down the cooridor. She was taking me into the addmissions ward to be checked before we went up to the birthing suite with the birth pool. We were nearly at the ward when I felt I needed to stop. The m/w could tell by the sound I was making that I needed to push and I remember her yelling for help and a wheelchair to get me into a room. DS had other ideas.....m/w cut off my pants to see how far along I was and when she looked at her watch I knew he was coming there and then....... I started pushing at 4:40 AM and ds was born at 4:44 AM..born in the caul....in the cooridor . We were blessed...the cord was wrapped twice around his neck, over his chest, and 3 times around his leg. He was born on 05-05 2005 at 4:44AM! He was 22 inches long and 8lbs 5 oz. I had no tear which meant no stitches...hooray!!!!
I did have PPH after ds again too...which is why no homebirth for me I am down for a water birth again this time and am really hoping I get to do it! I am really worried about the speed on my deliveries...its a constant concern for me and dh.
~~ Siobhán (sh-iv-on) ~~
DD2 Feb 2006 (born at 34 weeks - due April 06)
Baby Aoibhe (still no middle name!) born Feb 28th at 34+1 weeks 4:47pm
5lbs 15 oz 20 inches
On Feb 27th (mon) I woke up and was feeling very unwell. I had a very bloody show and was getting pains so we went to L&D. I was given a cervical exam and was 3cm and fully effaced. I had been being monitored for 2 weeks previously as had started to dialate and baby had engaged at 32 weeks...so in a way we were expecting this but it was still a shock. Both my other births were full term and to healthy 8lbs+ babies...this was the last thing I expected to happen!
I went home on that morning and felt very unwell. I was feeling alot of pressure in my bottom..which is very indicative of immenent labour so really thought I would be going into labour that night. But, nothing happened and we went to sleep.
Woke on the 28th and felt amazing...I felt great! Loads of energy and didn't feel as if labour was on the cards at all. I was still really trying to take it easy and myself and the kids were just reading in bed and watching tv all morning and afternoon. Around 3pm I got up to have a shower...I got out of the shower and felt a sharp pain and then some pressure. I layed down on the bed and told dh to look at the clock (3:17pm) and told him to start timing the pains. Little waves of pains started and dh told me they were about every 5 minutes...they were getting very strong with each contraction.
At 3:45 I rang my best friend..she lives locally. I also rang my sister Maire but knew I wouldn't risk waiting for Maire to arrive as she lives 40 min away. At this stage I could honestly say I was very uncomfortable..I was still talking but had to concentrate during contractions. My friend got here and we got into the car to head up to hospital. The exact times of things get very hazy after this!
We were about 10 minutes from teh hospital when my waters broke...my dh was disgusted! LOL..the car isn' t even a year!!! After the waters broke I was feeling really strong painful contractions...its actually the most painful labour I'd ever had and I know it was down to the fact that I couldn't relax and breath properly.
We entered the hospital and I went by wheelchair up to the addmissions..they knew we were coming and didn't bother to stop for admissions as I'd delivered Aidan outside the admissions trying to get to labour ward only 9 months ago! So..straight into the labour ward and they got me undressed...I was feeling alot of pressure. I had an injection for infection due to the fact that it was an early delivery and I also had to wear a fetal monitoring system. I told them the baby was coming and the midwife performed a cervical check..I was fully dialated and her head was crowning. I gave one small push and she was born...it was 4:47 pm.
I heard very quickly 'its a girl' and she let out a lovely cry and then she was quickly taken away by the NICU nurses to be checked over. It was a very confusing time as the NICU staff were checking her over but I was also suffering from PPH and had a swarm of people seeing to me.
I was given an injection to try to halt the bleeding (which also meant the placenta didn't come away naturally) and was put on a drip. The midwives then checked me over...I didn't required stitches and the placenta had come away clean.
They let me hold Aoibhe for literally a few seconds and then she had to go up to NICU. DH went with her. My midwives brought me a cup of tea & some toast while the special care nurse explained to me what was going on with Aoibhe. She told me that at first they were worried about Aoibhe's breathing..it was quite shallow and that thought it was indicative of transient tachypnea (I had to write that one down as I'd never heard of it!) but her breathing shortly had improved and she was breathing fully on her own. Her bilirubin levels were quite high (jaundice) so she had to undergo phototherapy light and she was showing a poor suck reflux which would make feeding more difficult.
But, she is a little diamond and is showing everyone wrong..they had estimated a week long stay in NICU after her birth but are now telling me she can go home tomorrow (so long as her blood test shows the bilirubin levels are low enough)! She is breastfeeding and bottle feeding at the moment.
I am completley in love with her! She is so lovely and I am so happy that she is coming through so well. She is a good size baby for a premie so I think that really helped her...her paediatrician said that she has the vitals of a baby born at 36 weeks.
So, if you managed to read all that well done! (anyone mention us Irish can talk ALOT???)
My one regret girls is that I didn't do enough belly pics...my last one was at 30 weeks (when I looked at it today I noticed how LOW the bump was!!!! No wonder she was early!) but I really regret that so I'd really say to anyone who hasn't been taking pics to do so...you'll miss it when its all over.
~~ Siobhán (sh-iv-on) ~~
DD2 Feb 2006 (born at 34 weeks - due April 06)
It's very long!! But here ya go
I was to get up at 6am that morning to call into the hospital to let them know that I was scheduled to be induced and what time would be good for me to come in, I slept surprisingly well that last night but admit that 6am came way to fast. The alarm went off at 5:55, I got up and turned it off and then laid in bed “5 more minutes I told myself” as I laid there I felt Seamus kick and enjoyed the last few minutes of quiet that I had with him while he was still inside me, such precious and sweet memories I have of those last few minutes with him, as I got up the clock said 6:00 on the dot, what timing I thought. I called the hospital and let them know I was coming in and was told to arrive at 7:15 am and to not eat or drink anything and to bring proof of ID and my insurance card. “Will do, wont do” I said and then hung up ~ I tried to get a bit of milk and a granola bar down before we left in hopes that the IV I was to get would be easier to put in with some food in me but I ended up throwing it up.
I woke up ger next and told him that we needed to be in by 7:15 and that we had to get up now to get ready, I wanted to take a shower and we had a few bits and pieces to get into the car, I also wanted to wake up the boys to say goodbye and to let Amy know what time we had to leave, that last hour went by very quickly I was at the hospital before I knew it ~ I was a ball of nerves and the sad part is I was almost more afraid of that stupid IV than I was of the contractions! When we arrived they had me sign a bunch of papers, I met the L&D nurses and was told to change into the gown that you wear at the hospital. Laura arrived shortly before this it was nice to see her we spoke a bit as she sat in a chair next to the bed ~ my mom showed up shortly after this as well so it seemed the show was on the road. Laura asked how I was feeling and I explained that I was nervous but that I was doing okay, really I don’t think I was doing so hot for awhile I was pretty scared and unsure how the nurses were going to be.
I noticed that the nurses were getting ready to set up my IV when it looked as though I wasn’t going to get the Hep Lock so I asked them if I could get a hep lock and they said something along the lines of them putting me on pitocin, this is when I mentioned that I thought Danielle was going to start me off with cytotec so they said that they would call her and clear things up, they were very nice about it which relieved me. Once they got a hold of her they came back in and said that I was right and that they were putting in an order for the cytotec and that it should arrive shortly. At some point during all of this Kay the nurse did an internal exam, it was a bit uncomfortable her fingers were short and she had to really reach up in so her knuckles kind of dug into me but it was over with quickly ~ I was 1 to 2 cm dilated I can’t remember how effaced I was although I know I was still quite thick and she said I was more anterior than she thought which was good.
The nurses puttered in and out of room for a bit doing what they needed to do, there was also a new nurse who was being mentored by Kay she wasn’t new to nursing though just the hospital so a lot of what she was doing was explaining to her where things were and how things were done there. Every now n’ again the blood pressure cuff would go off, I hated that thing it squeezes my arm so tight that I swear that alone gives me high bp, however soon after all of this they came in and tried to set up the IV I knew it probably wouldn’t be easy it seems anytime I need one I have to be poked several times b/c my veins are small, deep and they roll. I was poked once on my left wrist and then again on my forearm I wanna say on my right hand too but I can’t remember, they then called in another nuse, Pat, she was fantastic!! Very energetic and outgoing and funny which is what I think we needed at this point I remember feeling very scared and unsure and I didn’t want to be poked again if I didn’t have to be ~ she spoke to us for awhile and promised me that if she felt she couldn’t get it in she wouldn’t try, I was looking at my mom and talking when I felt her poke my hand but as she was doing so she was talking away, I remember the initial poke and then she was very slow in getting the needle in and then fast getting the actual IV in she was amazing, she had a real touch I think it was then that I started to calm down a bit.
Pat stayed around for a few minutes longer talking about St. Patrick’s Day and how her family celebrates it and how they have relatives and such in Ireland, they were from county Cork. We gave her some Irish candy that we’d bought the night before at the British Pantry and she went on her way ~ at this point I was feeling a lot better and the other nurse Kay shared with me that her daughter or daughter in law had also done hypnobirthing with her last baby and how neat it was, it was wonderful hearing this as I felt that b/c she understood how it went she would also be supportive of our choices.
Laura decided to do a hypnobabies script with me before things got going, my nerves were a bit on end and I was still feeling unsure of things and we thought this might help, we put on the Heart of Reiki music and she began reading, I also remember that at some point the lights were dimmed and the nurses began to whisper this was wonderful as things that I had asked to happen in my birth plan were being played out without me even having to ask, this meant so much to me! Laura’s voice is also very calming and easy to listen to and because of this I fell into a deep relaxation very quickly and very easily, I could hear the nurses coming and going quietly but nothing more. By the time she finished it was close to 10:30am and the order came in for my cytotec I was actually looking forward to the contractions at this point and welcomed them as I was anxious to have Seamus here, at 10:45 Kay put in the first dose, actually I believe it might have been her assistant, the one she was mentoring. We were on our way!
Shortly after this Danielle came in, I was so happy!! It was great to see her face, she gave me a big hug and asked how I was doing, we chit chatted for a bit and got an update as to what was going on, she then left to get some things done. I had to lay there for about an hour before I could get up which wasn’t so bad as I didn’t feel anything at this point, I could tell certain things were starting to happen but nothing big.
After the hour was up I decided to get out of bed to see if we could get things going, I walked the halls with Geremy and Laura and remember thinking how funny it was that *I* was walking the halls, I had always heard of women doing this to get things going or seeing it on tv shows about birth and here I was walking the halls myself! Why this caught my attention I’m not sure but it did ~ after doing that for a bit it became boring and nothing much was happening so we went back to the room where my mom and the nurses were, I sat on the birthing ball for a bit too and I did some hypnobabies. Before we knew it it was 2:30 and the 4 hours was up, it was time to place in another dose of the cytotec so I got hooked back up to the monitors and got back into bed, Danielle administered the 2nd dose and said that I was a bit more soft, still pretty thick and between a stretchy 2 and 3 cm dilated so things WERE happening they were just taking their sweet time.
Things began to pick up a bit more with the 2nd dose although nothing that was unbearable, I laid in bed for the hour and chit chatted with Laura, Danielle, Geremy and my mom, the nurses for the most part kept out of the room, Kay would come in every now n’ again to check the monitor paper and to see how my bp was doing, which of course my bp was wonderful the entire time! This was a saving grace though as it was a concern I had that might make me end up with an epidural but so far so good!! We also joked with Kay that I had to deliver by 3pm as that was when her shift ended, I was also secretly hoping that I’d deliver close to then as I was nervous that the next nurse might not be so nice ~ unfortunately 3pm rolled around and went and still no baby.
My birthing waves started to pick up a bit, I walked the halls again for awhile and sat on the birthing ball this time I propped myself up against the bed with pillows I decided to listen to my hypnobabies to see if I could get things going and to get myself into a more regular pattern with the waves and to get them a bit stronger ~ I listened first to the birthing day CD and noticed that it was really helping and quite quickly, I had my head propped up against the pillows and I tried to relax my body as best I could, I actually found the birthing ball to be very comfortable, I had a warm blanket over my back the IV was making me cold and the hospital gowns leave a lot to be desired for your backside.
After sitting on the birthing ball for awhile I decided to get up and move around for a bit, I took a sip here and there of the propel berry water that I’d brought to keep my sugars up, I had also been chewing on ice chips throughout the day ~ they have the BEST ice chips their very soft and easy to chew and I had been craving ice chips the entire pregnancy so it was great to have them. I remember bits and pieces of conversation between everyone, politics, birthing, birthing choices, home birth, midwives you name it. Danielle, Laura and my mom were able to keep quite busy with most of those conversations, at some point during all of this Geremy got me the rocking chair I think Laura thought it would be a good idea so we changed chairs around as my mom had been sitting on it. I found for some reason the rocking chair really got my birthing waves going! I’m not sure why but it worked really well, I also had Laura read me another hypnobirthing script this one was more about opening up, visualizing my birth and getting my body to start birthing ~ there was a part in it about facing any fears that I had and letting them go I found that to be very helpful as I was still feeling a bit uneasy about things although what exactly it was I was still having a hard time pin pointing.
I can’t remember exactly when Danielle came in with an orange but it was sometime around now, she asked if I was interested in a slice and I definitely was, so she cut it up and set it next to the counter where I was sitting ~ I don’t think she ate a single slice so I think she cut it for “her” incase anyone asked but had it there for anyone who was wanting some, it was a great thing to eat it helped fill my stomach but not so much that it would be a problem. Danielle also teased about the knife that she used as someone looked at her funny in the hall when she was carrying it “Now you know the REAL secret of midwives – this is how we get our moms to birth so quickly we show them the alternative” she said and we all laughed.
A few hours had passed and I became quite nauseas because my heartburn was so bad, I threw up a few times and felt really horrible, Danielle was so sweet she wiped my neck and forehead with a wet cloth as I tried to get myself to calm down, I felt really cared for when she did that. Laura was also there making sure I was okay and was able to get me a bucket to throw up in, when I first started throwing up I grabbed this large garbage can that was sitting next to me.
After throwing up a few times b/c my heartburn was so bad and the tums wasn’t touching it Danielle suggested I try this really sour lemon stuff that would help, it actually tasted good! They thought I was crazy but I shared with them that I love lemons and salt so this was great stuff! Much better than the tums too – it came in a little brown cup and I had to swig it really fast, not sure why I remember that but I do. It helped as well almost instantly it was nice not to have heartburn for awhile and to not throw up as that made it even worse. I began to contract a bit stronger at this point although they still weren’t regular, they seemed to piggy back and then go away – I also remember looking at the monitor and seeing that it almost never picked up the contractions but I knew I was having them and we kept it going b/c it kept the nurses calm and it also helps Danielle.
I spent some more time in the rocking chair listening to my hypnobabies, Laura also did another script for me as I’d asked her to and as we began a male doctor (GP) walked in curious as to what hypnobabies was, we all kind of looked at each other as we found it a bit odd but we got to talking to him to explain what it was, when Danielle came in she looked a bit confused too until she realized why he was there and she chimed in with her thoughts as well, I later realized what a great thing it was as hopefully we were able to educate him a bit more, I believe this was his first year at the hospital as an intern.
At 6:30 or there abouts it was time to put in another dose of the cytotec, Danielle had asked the doctor to step out and I was kind of glad for that as even though I felt it was great that we were able to teach him a bit about hypnobabies he also made me feel a bit uneasy. I couldn’t believe that the entire day had gone by I also remember thinking that it was taking A LOT longer than I had anticipated it taking, with the twins I arrived at 7am and had delivered by 1:30pm but they also started me out with pitocin and my cervix was more favorable. This time Danielle put her finger between the sac and my cervix to loosen things up a bit, that hurt quite a bit but I also knew that it would help, she kept saying sorry and tried to do it quickly. She mentioned at this point that I was between 3 and 4 cm dilated so improving but slowly, she also mentioned that Seamus still needed to turn his head a bit.
Danielle thought that perhaps we should start with the pitocin to get things more regular ~ we weren’t on a time schedule necessarily but we also didn’t want to get to the point where we had to be on one and it was a draw between vaginal and c-section so I agreed ~ although I admit that as she (Danielle) left the room to notify the nurse and get the bag for my IV I felt very nervous, I had had pit contractions with Garrett and they weren’t very pleasant, it also meant that my labor would progress a lot quicker so I had to really prepare myself for this. When the nurse came in she had to flush my IV to make sure it was still working, thank goodness it was! It stung a bit when she flushed the water through but nothing too bad ~ they started the pictocin off at 3 (not sure what 3 was but I remember seeing that on the monitor). Admittedly I was also ready for things to get going as we’d been there since 7am and I knew that everyone else was growing tired so the mention of pit was a good one.
Once I was hooked up I went and sat back on the rocking chair, at first it really wasn’t so bad ~ it was definitely giving me stronger and more regular contractions almost instantly, the other thing it started to do was it made the area where the IV was in sting I’m not sure why but I found it to be very distracting thankfully it went away after awhile.
I’m not sure how long it was after I received the pitocin but I found that rocking while in the chair made the birthing waves more intense so as one came I would rock ~ still they were easy for me to breath through, I remember one contraction that was stronger than the rest but it didn’t stay. I also spent some time in the bathroom contracting on the toilet I felt like the pressure from sitting there would help dilate me even more and every time I had a contraction I would visualize my cervix opening up, it was here that I noticed that I was beginning to lose my plug which excited me as it meant things were starting to move even more and I was ready for them to move along. Before leaving the bathroom I spent some time squatting while holding onto the metal bar that’s next to the toilet in hopes of opening up my hips and helping that cervix of mine along & to perhaps get more of the plug to come out.
Once I was back in the rocking chair I found that in most cases if I moved around other than sitting on the rocking chair the contractions would peter out or go away all together, so I spent most of my time rocking which I suppose isn’t a bad thing as it kept me close to the monitors which kept the nurses happy and probably Danielle too since it’s important to make sure that everything is going okay due to the induction. It was also kind of nice to be able to sit and relax while talking with everyone in the room, the lights were usually dim and I had heart of reiki playing in the background, I had also brought the sacred spirit music but for some reason that wasn’t doing it for me so I had the reiki music going almost the entire time, it got to the point where it became a comfort item and if it turned off I asked ger to put it back on almost immediately ~ I felt like I could go into hypnosis easier/quicker while it was playing.
While sitting in the chair it was suggested that I perhaps stand up and put a leg onto another chair and rock back n’ forth to encourage Seamus to turn, I was told that whatever leg felt more comfortable up to keep that one up so I stood there and rocked back n’ forth for awhile hoping that he’d turn that little head of his, I was a bit concerned that he’d not turn and that the delivery of his head might be a difficult one so I was willing to do whatever I needed in order to get him in the most favorable position for labor.
By 10:30pm Danielle suggested that it might help to brake my waters ~ I was excited by this and yet also quite nervous as I KNEW that once they were broken my contractions would be more intense, possibly very intense and so I had to prepare myself for this. What helped was that while I know Danielle wanted this she also left the decision up to me, so I said okay but also let her know that I had to think about it ~ so a few minutes later I said okay but that I needed to prepare myself, I sat in the rocking chair for a bit longer grabbing up the nerve and then I sat up and said “lets do it!’.
The actual process was easy ~ they set a bunch of towels and the plastic absorbent sheets down on the bed for me to sit on ~ I thought it would be painful but it wasn’t, a bit uncomfortable but that was only b/c she had a hand up in me and had to stretch enough to get the amni hook in too, once the waters broke I felt a warm gush of water a few times ~ “Nice and clear waters, that’s great” Danielle said. Once my waters were broke I went to sit back on the rocking chair, I had a few contractions almost immediately afterwards they weren’t anymore painful than they had been but they were definitely more regular and then they began to increase in strength within a few minutes ~ I would rock to get them to gain strength and as I did this, with each contraction I began to feel them more in my back and hips and things began to get uncomfortable, I think I sat there through another few contractions and then I had to get up because things were becoming too uncomfortable sitting there, as soon as I stood up another contraction came and I had to lean on Geremy, they seemed to come w/in a minute or so of one another at this point and it got to the point where I had to let out a low moan to get through them.
As I leaned on Geremy I had my right hand in his pocket using it as a handle when a contraction came on, I’d burry my head in his chest moving it back n’ forth ~ I also remember feeling the need to sorta squat as I was contracting I’m not sure now that I think of it if I was doing it subconsciously to get him to move down or if it felt better ~ if I were to guess now I’d have to say it was more than likely a mixture of both reasons. I stood there for awhile dealing with each birthing wave as it came, each time grabbing for Geremy and burying my head in his chest ~ after some time I remember saying as I stuck my head in Ger’s chest that I was scared, I think it was b/c I knew this was it and I had no control over it other than how I choose to deal with it. I remember Geremy and Laura both talking but I don’t’ remember what it was that they said, a lot of encouraging words I know that and Laura would say certain cue words from the hypnobabies to help me get through each birthing wave.
At one point I felt like I wanted to cry but I couldn’t, the emotions and waves were too strong to allow it ~ I remember Laura really close to me on my left hand side talking me through it, telling me to relax and saying certain cue words “low moans Julia, keep your face relaxed and your forehead smooth” and as I listened I was able to get through a wave w/out moaning or anything but it was soo much work!! By the time the next one came I didn’t have it in me and it seemed to really help to moan ~ thinking back now it truly is amazing what the training from the hypnobabies can do and the mental strength it can give one if they practice persistently throughout the pregnancy. I’m not sure of the time at this point I sort of went into my own little world only remembering bits and pieces, soon after this I mentioned how hot I was as I waved my face with my hand to get some wind going, next thing I know there is a cold cloth on the back of my neck and I believe someone was also putting one on my forehead, it felt GREAT to have the cold against me until I had a birthing wave then it really irritated me I think I got through 1 or 2 more waves and then I threw the cloth off, once the wave was over I wanted it back on and like NOW I remember thinking to myself how ridiculous I must look and yet my emotions were going nuts at this point ~ I also mentioned to Geremy how ornery I felt and then thought to myself “yes!! This must be transition, PLEASE let it be transition”.
The birthing waves continued on from here for awhile, I would rock my hips back n’ forth and sort of slow dance in place with Geremy as I dealt with the waves and then it felt good to just stand there and not move once the wave was gone, and then dance as the waves came ~ I threw the towel a few more times and then remember hearing Laura say “don’t throw the towel! Hand it to me” looking back now it makes me laugh the poor thing probably had to go get it every time I threw it b/c I’d want it back almost immediately after the wave was gone ~ I’m not sure why I threw it other than the minute the wave came I was become agitated and it felt good to throw it as it let out some of my ornery energy I had. The next time a wave came I can’t remember if I handed it to her or if she quickly grabbed it, I think it was the later.
After standing there laboring for awhile it was mentioned, I believe by Danielle that perhaps we head to the bathroom so that I could sit on the toilet as that might help to open up my hips ~ Laura also mentioned the shower and I thought that was a good idea but at the same time it wasn’t something I wanted to do either ~ either way I agreed and so we headed in there, at some point the monitors were unhooked from me and I also remember Danielle trying to get them on me I believe this was after my contractions were getting strong b/c I remember not caring whether they were on or not and found them to be a bit irritating, at one point I was standing next to the bed as she tried to get them back on but they kept popping out of the band that was holding them and falling to the floor so I believe at this point she gave in.
Once in the bathroom I sat on the toilet for awhile, the pressure of sitting on the toilet was definitely there so I sat down for awhile but it got to the point that the pressure was too much, I tried to visualize myself relaxing and having my cervix open up like a flower but the pressure was sooo intense that it was almost impossible not to tense up sometimes, it was here that I decided to stand up and lean against Geremy again ~ since the stronger waves began he hadn’t left my side, he was there constantly with me and for me he is so amazing. I asked Danielle to cut the monitor band off of me as it was digging into my back, she went and got some scissors and cut it off, that felt great! It was also at this point that I began to feel panicked and I know the others could tell, there’s no tip toeing around it these contractions hurt like hell and I was beginning to feel like I couldn’t take it anymore and if I did I was sure to lose my mind ~ I also feared that perhaps my body wasn’t working as it should and wasn’t dilating as it should as I felt like I should be feeling the urge to push ~ I had it in my head that when I began to feel ornery that I was in transition and that I’d be delivering soon. I kept saying this is more than I can handle, this is just too much and things like that ~ I know others were saying things to me and at the time I found them to be helpful but I don’t remember everything that was said.
Geremy was so wonderful though ~ he’d rub my head and whisper into my hear that I could do this, that we’d been practicing this since we were 10wks along in the pregnancy and that it would be okay ~ he also said other things but I just don’t remember what it was, I do remember everything he said was full of love and support he was just soo amazing throughout all of this. At some point I had a particularly strong contraction that made me fall/lean against the wall as I felt desperate to be done, to not feel the contractions anymore ~ once the wave was over I continued to lay against the bathroom wall, then another wave came right after the other ~ I tried to sit on the toilet and that was to painful so I tried to stand up again I just didn’t know what to do with myself sometimes other than do what I needed to get through each wave, they were extremely intense at this point and I know that they were still turning up the pitocin.
After standing there for awhile it was mentioned that I try out the birthing ball since the toilet wasn’t working and my legs were growing tired, I was also feeling somewhat weak at this point ~ the birthing ball sounded like such a great idea! They set it next to the shower in the room so I walked over and sat down on it, I think one of those plastic pad thingy’s was on it, I sat down and immediately had another birthing wave, it was here I remember feeling quite scared that my body wasn’t doing what it should, it just felt like I was birthing way to long and that perhaps something was wrong so I kept saying so, the waves were coming one after another with *maybe* a minute between them often times not even that, as I was going through one I’d rock back n’ forth on the ball and try to bare down even though I didn’t feel the need to bare down I wanted to in hopes that it would get things going and it did feel kind of good to do so it must not be a bad thing!
At one point while having a wave I began to thrust my hips forward as I rocked on the ball and as I did this a huge gush of waters came out of me and spilled all over the floor I believe this happened at least twice, the next wave I began to bare down quite strongly “Well that was different” I remember hearing Danielle say which excited me, I thought “great!! Perhaps were close” but then the next contraction was nothing like it! And I began to panic again, Laura was near me at this point I think to my left when she mentioned that perhaps Danielle check me and I thought that was a good idea too, I was hoping she would tell me that the head was there, occasionally since I’d been in the bathroom I’d reach down to feel if his head was there or if I could feel anything ~ much to my disappointment I felt nothing but myself which discouraged me, I had it in my head that I SHOULD be feeling something at this point! I don’t know why, my thinking wasn’t logical at this point just desperate ~ when this was mentioned Danielle said that she could but why was I wanting it “because I’m scared my body isn’t doing what it should” I said and I know Laura knew I was feeling scared as I remember her kind of backing me up, calmly Danielle said “Well I can check you but you wont get what you want, I wont be able to tell you what you want” she knew I was okay and she knew what I wanted her to tell me but she also knew that that’s not what she’d be telling me and what she would tell me would probably discourage me ~ I am glad she didn’t check me b/c she’s right unless the news was “There’s a head” I would of fallen apart.
During all of this I opened my eyes to look around Geremy was in front of me, Danielle and Laura were squatting down against the wall to my left and my mom was out in the hall, I think a nurse was there sometimes as well. For the most part though, once my birthing waves became strong my eyes were closed almost the entire time, having them open left me feeling too exposed and open so I kept them closed short of a few times here and there. I had a few more birthing waves that were extremely intense, I would rock back n’ forth on the ball as I leaned my head against the wall just praying that they would go away ~ they were soo intense! I also took a look at the monitor and the pitocin was up to a 13, significantly higher than the last time, I think the last time I took a peak it was at a 9.
It was here that I began to notice a change in my waves ~ I would have several minutes between a wave and then I’d have a very very intense contraction but it was also quite short, I’d then sit there and wait and wait for another one to come I almost feel as if this part was more torturous than the back to back waves as it felt soo good not to feel anything I’d go very quiet and just sit there and them bam! I’d have one ~ sometimes they even start slow so I knew what was coming and I’d tense up whilst also trying not to so that I could keep the discomfort down to a minimum “Go away!” I’d say sometimes, just wishing that they really would go away! I remember sitting there on the ball knowing everyone was looking at me and not really caring, I’d just stare at the floor exhausted waiting for the next contraction to come.
“Why don’t we move” Danielle said, “where” I asked “Oh I don’t know closer to the bed perhaps?” I sat there for a minute thinking “I dunno I’m kind of scared to move” I said ~ I think the reason I spent most of my time in the rocking chair or in the bathroom was because I wanted to stay away from the bed I was afraid of it and I didn’t want to deliver on it ~ but then the next thing I know I got up and started to head for the bed I remember Danielle saying “Wait up girl! Geeze one minute you’re sitting there then the next your 10 steps ahead of me” ending with a bit of a giggle ~ I had completely forgotten about the IV in me and the Pole so she was scrambling to get it and keep up with me.
Once I reached the bed another birthing wave hit me so I bent over the bed and as I did I began to bare down as hard as I could, I don’t remember feeling the need to bare down and yet I was! I didn’t even say anything to anyone it was like nature and instinct completely took over me and I was simply an observer of this incredible miracle ~ The 2nd time I bore down I could feel him moving down me and I began to get excited, I also don’t remember any pain at this point even though I know I was contracting really hard ~ I began to bare down again and I felt the ring of fire, in my head I thought “Oh my gosh!! This is the ring of fire!! He’s coming!!!! – oohh it hurts I thought!” I think I might of even said the last part out loud I can’t remember ~ the interesting thing is it didn’t hurt it was really a bizarre thing to feel and I couldn’t stop pushing “Julia slow down, slloww Julia Julia!! Slow down!!” I remember Danielle saying “I can’t! I said” “I can’t!” as I kept on pushing ~ next thing I know Laura is in front of me on my left hand side, close to my face saying “blow a thousand candles Julia blow a thousand candles!” as she said this I pictured a row of candles and I began to blow them, then I started to push again “slow Julia slow” and again I mentioned “I can’t!” blow a thousand candles Laura said again and as she said this my mom was on the other side of her next to my face, my eyes were closed but I remember feeling them next to me “blow a thousand candles Julia” so I’d blow and then I’d push and then I’d blow.
As I was doing this I could feel him coming out of me and I was trying to picture what part of him was coming out of me but I couldn’t tell, it just felt huge ~ but no pain! I might have been feeling it but I honestly don’t remember ANY pain at this point even the ring of fire wasn’t there ~ I kept on pushing and then he was out!! Oh my goodness he was out!!!! He squeaked a bit but didn’t cry like I thought he would ~ My entire body collapsed onto the bed and I just laid there breathing heavily and wanting to cry with relief and accomplishment, again like so many other times during my labor I had the emotion of crying and yet I couldn’t cry!
“I did it, I did it” I quietly said, my mom came up next to me crying and putting her face next to mine saying “yes you did, you did it!” Someone, I believe Danielle said do you want to see your baby?! But I just laid there I was soo exhausted “Let her rest a minute” someone else said I remember thinking for a minute that I didn’t care I just wanted to lay there for a minute to gather myself and yet I did care I think it was just exhaustion talking. After a few seconds I NEEDED to see him like right then so I stood up and tried to look behind me but couldn’t so Danielle said for him to be passed through my legs so I went to move and slipped on the floor as there was quite a mess, I think it was a nurse who was standing next to me she grabed my arm “careful” she said, I then opened my legs up and he was handed to me ~ all I remember was this mess of baby and blanket and couldn’t make out much of anything other than that! (laughs)
“Let go” I said as I grabbed onto him and pulled him up to me, I then laid down on the bed and put him to my chest, thanking the stars that it was over and that he was there and okay ~ I slipped my gown down and placed him against me they then handed me some warm towels and blankets to cover him. My mom came up to me, she was still crying she placed her head against mine “I’ve never experienced anything like that” she said as she cried ~ again I felt the emotion of wanting to cry but still couldn’t! I enjoyed having her near me though my mom is such an amazing person ~ she said a few other things but I can’t remember what it was at this point. I then noticed that Seamus’ leg was a bit tangled in the cord so I untangled him and put him into a more comfortable position. “It looks like the cord has stopped pulsating” Danielle said, she got the clamp and clamped the cord down “Who wants to cut it? Mom? Geremy?” I said as I wasn’t sure if he was wanting to cut it, looking back now it was a stupid question. Geremy came over and cut the cord and then we wrapped Seamus back up.
I was still contracting, nothing too hard but enough that it still hurt and I wanted them over with! I was wishing that the placenta would come out and NOW so that I’d stop contracting, I’d give a push every now n’ again to see if it’d come out, after about 20-25 minutes I think Danielle was thinking that she might need to give me some more pit to get it out which made me nervous, she then looked at the cord and pressed against my stomach “It’s normal for it take about 20 to 30 minutes to come out” I mentioned “yea it is but were getting close to that now” she said. Then with a few pushes here and there it came out!! It felt A LOT bigger than I had expected it to but it didn’t really hurt ~ just felt really big n’ mushy, we all took a look at it and Danielle held up the sac part “Here’s where his swimming pool was” she said, we all giggled a bit ~ I felt GREAT! Once it was out I wasn’t contracting anymore which was soo nice! She also mentioned that I didn’t even tear, not one little bit ~ just a skid mark is all. That was such a cool thing to hear as I was soo afraid that I’d tear and yet when I was delivering him that thought never came to me, thinking about that now I’m kinda surprised it didn’t w/ as much time as I spent thinking about it while pregnant.
Danielle noticed that some of the membrane was still in me and she needed to get it out, this was somewhat painful as she had to reach up in and I remember her snipping at a few things, I’m not sure what it was but it hurt, she kept apologizing but I said it was okay ~ not much she could do about it anyways and she was helping me, she then turned on this big ol’ light thing that came out of the ceiling so that she could see better ~ finally after reaching up in a few times, which was so NOT pleasant I was so sore ~ she was able to get it all out, what a relief!! I was beginning to feel a bit worried.
“Do you want any pain pills” the nurse asked “Yes I would love some I said, I’m ready to be a wimp now I’m done with pain for a bit!” I ate some crackers and this carbonated apple drink to get something in my tummy and then I took a few pain meds. I was feeling sooo good at this point, no pain, baby was out ~ I felt “empty” inside but a good empty ~ Danielle gathered up the placenta and placed it into a container so that we could take it home and then the room began to get cleaned up by everyone ~ I just sat there and held onto Seamus, looking at him in complete awe, it was here that Geremy said he was the one who caught him!! I was soo excited to hear this!!! Oh my gosh he did it! He’s spoken about it in the past but the closer we got the more unsure he became so I didn’t think he’d do it ~ he was on cloud 9 as well and what a reward it was to be able to catch him as I feel he labored just as hard as I did, he’s my hero he really is. “You caught him!!!” I said ~ I don’t remember much of what he said but his face was soo happy!
He explained to me that as he saw Seamus’ head come out Danielle took his hands and placed them on Seamus and basically handed the job over to him without really giving him a choice even though he had one, I think she knew him well enough at this point and knew that he just needed a little shove in the right direction and that he’d never regret doing it ~ I am soo grateful to her for doing this! She is an angel. (In speaking with her the next day she mentioned to me that when she saw his face as Seamus was coming out she couldn’t help but allow him to catch him ~ she said his face was soo precious looking as he witnessed this incredible miracle.)
The nurse then mentioned that she wanted to take him to be weighed, I asked for her to wait a bit as I didn’t want him taken from me just yet I was still getting to know my newest little son, Geremy was next to me as well on my right hand side ~ looking at him in awe ~ A few minutes later it looked as though Seamus was starting to root so I had had Geremy carry him over to be weighed so that I could get him back to nurse, he weighed in at 5lbs 15oz and was 18 ½ inches long. I was surprised to hear that he was in the 5lbs range as everyone was soo sure he’d be around 6lbs ~ my mom mentioned that as well, “he’s a little peanut!” I seem to hit the 14 or 15oz range, Garrett was 6lbs 14oz, Liam was 5lb 14oz, Braiden was 5lbs even and Seamus now almost right in line w/ Garrett and liam! No complaints from me though!
As Seamus was nursing I sat and spoke to Geremy and Laura for a bit, Danielle sat down and filled out a birth form stating how things went “They always tease me” she said “They say I write out a birth story instead of just putting the stats, but it IS a birth story” that made me smile “I agree!” I said ~ She gave Seamus a 9.9 on his apgars, very cool! “he came out wonderfully, nice and pink” she said. Once she finished that up she had to head out, she had other things that she needed to get done ~ in talking with her the next day I realized she had another birth to attend! Busy busy!
The Nurses were cleaning up the room, I remember mentioning a few times “Man we created quite a mess didn’t we!” (laughs) Looking at the floor I didn’t realize how much fluid and blood there was when it came to giving birth, it was all over the floor where I delivered him. When I had my others I was numb up to my gills and on my back so everything went “neatly” into a bucket ~ this was the first time I really saw and experienced natural childbirth. After about 2 hours or so they put Seamus over in the cot, Geremy followed, they then had me get up ~ as I tried to sit up for the first time my right leg started to Charlie horse in the calf so I had to pull my leg up ~ crazy as it sounds I apologized to the nurse! “sorry hold on one sec” (laughs) ~ once it was gone I stood up and was put into a wheel chair where I was taken to the bathroom to clean up ~ once cleaned I was put back into the wheel chair and we headed up to the post partum room where I was to stay.
I was ANYTHING but impressed, the “bed” which was really this weird reclining chair thingy that the dad was to sleep in was horrible looking and I’m sure just as uncomfortable, it annoyed me b/c I knew how tired he was, we labored together and I know it was exhausting on him I think they should of provided something a bit more nice especially since they LIKE for someone to stay the night ~ the room was also very very small but we made do! We sat in the room and spoke for a minute, Geremy was just beyond thrilled about the fact that he’d caught Seamus “It’s soo cool to know that I was the FIRST one to hold him” he said ~ I was soo proud of him, he really is my hero! I don’t think I would of labored as well as I did without him near me the entire time. He then headed out to the car to put some stuff in it so that we weren’t crowded in the room and to make less to carry out when we headed home.
We spent the next 3 days 2 nights there and then headed home Sunday Afternoon