BITING MY TONGUE... or not *UPDATED*
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Thread: BITING MY TONGUE... or not *UPDATED*

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    Posting Addict jooniper's Avatar
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    Default BITING MY TONGUE... or not *UPDATED*

    UPDATE: So they had a fairly successful induction- started pitocin at 6 am and healthy baby by 5 pm. Micheal Peter, 6 lb 11 oz. I'm sincerely thrilled for them. There were some bad decelerations at the end where baby's heart rate went down below 60 for for minutes at a time and the doctor ordered her to not push so the baby's HR could recover, but, being unable to feel pushing, she pushed him right out anyways.
    SO anyways, it went well and I'm happy for them, though some small evil part of me whispers in my head "I told you so". Of course I'd never even hint at it to them now, but I had to tell someone


    Eek! So, the theme of the week for me has been do you bite your tongue or not? I had my own blog post about it, then another blog I followed did a much better non-preachy job of discussing it.
    Especially since I JUST finished "Pushed", I feel so much like women really need to get informed of the risks!
    Then today I happen upon a friend's blog. 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant. They hadn't even considered induction until their last OB appointment, when the doctor asked them if they were ready to stop being pregnant. At first they thought "why not let mother nature take it's course"- "Why would we induce before the due date? To not be pregnant anymore, our blunt doctor responded. We thought about that for a minute."

    "We did question the doctor thoroughly. Is there any danger to the baby or mother? What if my body just isn't ready to give birth? Is labor any harder with inducing? In the end, we decided to talk about it and call if we wanted to do it. By the time we got to the check out desk, we had made up our minds. We were ready to not be pregnant anymore."

    AHHHHHHH! I'm going to scream!!!! Either their doctor lied to them, or they're just not thinking clearly. So now what do I do? Do I tell her that with an elective c-section she is FOUR TIMES as likely to end up with an emergency c-section? Do I tell her my biggest regret about my (Relatively good) labor was NOT letting my (7 lb, 11 oz) baby bake longer, let my body prepare more? Such a fine line I'm walking here, but I was SO grateful for the women (sisters and the ladies on this board) who made me question getting my water broken.
    Last edited by jooniper; 04-30-2010 at 08:51 AM.
    -Jenn -
    my family blog--my pics--
    Married to Kenny Aug '06


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    Posting Addict jooniper's Avatar
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    K, here's what I ended up commenting:
    Whew, this is where I do everything in my power to bite my tongue and just be happy for you. Actually, no this is something I just feel too strongly about. So here goes, please forgive me-
    There are MANY risks to elective inductions- if you are interested, let me know (or just google "elective induction risks"), I've done a LOT of research and the statistics are very against elective induction (most notably because of fetal distress/lack of oxygen- to the point some hospitals won't even allow elective inductions because of the complications and the FDA "disallows" it for the drug Pitocin, not that it stops OBs from handing it out like candy). Unfortunately most OBs won't give tell you the risks because it's just become the status quo (just like the high c-section rate) and it keeps things in their control, even if it means the mom is up to FOUR times as likely to need an emergency c-section (which hey, saves the doctor time, and potential lawsuits, and helps them make TRIPLE the money). Well, apparently I suck at biting my tongue, but you can see I'm pretty passionate about this right now. I don't want to be pushy or in-your-face, but there is so much information out there about this and it is hard for me to see friends take unnecessary risks, though I totally commiserate about the end of pregnancy sucking and being eager to meet your baby. In the end, I won't judge your decision, a mommy knows best (and really I'll be thrilled for your new baby either way), but do at least consider the information out there about the risks, beyond what the OB tells you. My biggest regret about my birth is not letting Daniel bake a little longer, even if he was big and healthy, I really don't think either of us were fully ready.
    (plus some nice small chat about other things going on in their lives). Do you think I overstepped my bounds?
    -Jenn -
    my family blog--my pics--
    Married to Kenny Aug '06


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    Posting Addict jooniper's Avatar
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    K, I know I'm having a convo with myself here, but I shared the blog with my sister who happens to know that the doctor in question is one of the doctors at the infamous Aspen Women's Center- which has that dreadful sign up about not allowing doulas, birth contracts, or the bradley method. It's the same group of doctors who told my oldest sister she "would never have to push since he is so good at forceps".
    -Jenn -
    my family blog--my pics--
    Married to Kenny Aug '06


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    Posting Addict MrsMangoBabe's Avatar
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    I think you did the right thing by saying something, and I like the way you said it. Like I said in my comment on your blog post, a lot of people don't realize that there is information they don't have. You made your point while still being respectful.
    -Brittany
    Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Mom to three adorable troublemakers
    Two time joyful Hypnobabies natural birthing mom
    My blog: Birth Unplugged

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    Posting Addict MrsMangoBabe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jooniper View Post
    K, I know I'm having a convo with myself here, but I shared the blog with my sister who happens to know that the doctor in question is one of the doctors at the infamous Aspen Women's Center- which has that dreadful sign up about not allowing doulas, birth contracts, or the bradley method. It's the same group of doctors who told my oldest sister she "would never have to push since he is so good at forceps".
    Yeah...that's a pretty big practice in that area. If anyone doesn't know about "the sign," you can see it here: http://www.theunnecesarean.com/blog/...-mom-runn.html. Supposedly, the sign has been taken down after it was all over the internet.

    I believe that practice is actually in the same building as the solo practice of the OB I saw during my first pregnancy before I switched (the "gravity" comment guy, aka Dr. Episiotomy). If anyone I knew was going to the Aspen Women's Center or that guy, I'd tell them to get out now and go to the midwives at Mt. Timpanogous Women's Health!
    -Brittany
    Doula, Childbirth Educator, and Mom to three adorable troublemakers
    Two time joyful Hypnobabies natural birthing mom
    My blog: Birth Unplugged

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    Mega Poster krazykat's Avatar
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    You said exactly what I was going to suggest... and probably better!! Now, it is on her as to whether she takes your advice and utilizes your knowledge. If she chooses not to, then that is her right to do so, but at least you can be secure in the fact that you warned her of the risks.

    I do not think you overstepped your bounds at all. Way to go! And at least you are able to speak from experience as well. That gives you a lot more "street cred" lol. Ask her if her OB has ever experienced childbirth via induction... I bet NOT!
    Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006

    Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13



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    Mega Poster krazykat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jooniper View Post
    K, I know I'm having a convo with myself here, but I shared the blog with my sister who happens to know that the doctor in question is one of the doctors at the infamous Aspen Women's Center- which has that dreadful sign up about not allowing doulas, birth contracts, or the bradley method. It's the same group of doctors who told my oldest sister she "would never have to push since he is so good at forceps".
    OMG!! Why hasn't your friend run screaming out the door yet?
    Ariel & John: Military Family since May 17, 2006

    Sylvia: 12/18/08, Justus: 9/17/10, Bunni: 5/11/12, Surprise Baby: Guess Date 11/5/13



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    Posting Addict faeriecurls's Avatar
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    I think you handled it really well! You aren't shoving it down her throat in a preachy way and you are being supportive of her, regardless of her decision. I don't think you would have been okay with yourself if you didn't say something. You did a MUCH better job than I ever could have - I get to emotional and would wind up in tears or a fight.

    I can't believe that is the way that practice operates! I read that sign and couldn't believe it - I mean they don't allow those things because they care about the quality of the deliveries and the health of your unborn child, yet they suggest such early elective inductions??? It's really scary!
    Erica
    DD 9/3/2010



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    kvo
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    I think you handled it in a way that was totally appropriate. You expressed concern in a very gentle way and also let your friend know that you support whatever she feels is best for her.

    I had an elective induction at 41 wks. My fluid was a little low, but we didn't even discover that until I was in the hospital. I was completely aware of the risks and chose to do it anyway, although I nearly backed out twice. I didn't go ahead with it because I felt miserable (which I did) but because I had to start a new FT job on August 20th and it was July 25th. I do not regret it since it saved us from financial ruin.

    I do hope your friend looks at a variety of information sources before making a final decision.
    *Kristen*
    DD-Zoe July 2007
    DS-Liam June 2010




  10. #10
    redmachchick
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsMangoBabe View Post
    Yeah...that's a pretty big practice in that area. If anyone doesn't know about "the sign," you can see it here: http://www.theunnecesarean.com/blog/...-mom-runn.html. Supposedly, the sign has been taken down after it was all over the internet.

    I believe that practice is actually in the same building as the solo practice of the OB I saw during my first pregnancy before I switched (the "gravity" comment guy, aka Dr. Episiotomy). If anyone I knew was going to the Aspen Women's Center or that guy, I'd tell them to get out now and go to the midwives at Mt. Timpanogous Women's Health!
    OMG the first thing I thought after reading that is this HAS to be a joke!!! Scary...very scary...

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