A Blast From the Past (XP)

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Lots-o-Tots's picture
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A Blast From the Past (XP)

It's been a loooooooooong time since I've visited this board, or preg.org at all. I see a few familiar names here, and wonder if anyone might remember me.

Anyhow, I'm Lisa, currently mom to 6, and just found out last weekend that I'm pregnant again.

This has been a huge shock. My husband was diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in February 2009 (when our youngest was only 7 months old), and underwent a year of rigorous cancer treatment, including chemo, radiation, and two surgeries. We really believed that all the radiation had made him sterile, so we didn't think it was even possible to conceive anymore, and we have been fine with that. Six kids is a lot, and we're no spring chickens; I'm 44 now (another reason to think it was highly unlikely we could conceive), and Michael is 45. Fortunately, his cancer is in remission (his last two scans have actually shown no evidence of cancer, but they don't say you're "cured" until I think 5 years has passed), but it's been an incredibly challenging couple of years for us.

Some of you might remember that our last baby, Finnian, was born at home three years ago in July - a planned homebirth - and ended up in the hospital the day after he was born undergoing surgery for an intestinal blockage. He spent two weeks in the NICU, and it was during that time that we learned he has Down syndrome. He is truly a joy - and not because he fits into all the stereotypes of Down syndrome, but because he is who he is and he has opened my heart and eyes so much, and brought so much to our family. That said, it was quite a shock and an adjustment, and then to find out my husband had cancer on the heels of that, and then the pure HELL of a year of cancer treatment. Just this past spring, Michael had complications from the cancer surgery he underwent and ended up back in the hospital with a bowel obstruction and sepsis. He seriously almost died, and had to undergo emergency surgery, and then was hospitalized yet again a few weeks later with pneumonia and severe anemia (from the emergency surgery). Obviously his health is a wild card at this point, and that's scary. He's gone through PTSD and depression because of all this, which has taken quite a toll on our marriage, and we're only recently trying to find our way back to higher ground, and BAM, we find out I'm pregnant.

Since we didn't think it was possible to get pregnant, I wasn't keeping track of my cycles or anything, so I'm not even sure exactly how far along I am, but my best guess is about 6 weeks. Still very early, and I figure my biggest hurdle right now is the fact that at my age the risk of miscarriage is probably fairly high.

Needless to say, we're scared. Scared of miscarriage, scared to have another baby, just scared. Trying to be excited, but really still in shock.

kridda_88's picture
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I remember you from the July board! I loved your birth story and remember all that you went through with Finnian. Congrats on the pregnancy! Sorry about all the issues the past 3 years have brought though. Sad Good luck with the pregnancy, sending you healthy baby vibes!

As for "cured" cancer. I'm not sure of the particular type. Each cancer is considered cured at different points. But 5 years is usually the average. My sister had a very rare type at 14 and she wasn't considered "cured" till 7 years past.

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I also remember you from the July board and followed your blog until you quit doing it. You most certainly have been through a lot in the last few years!

All that said, congratulations!! I'm actually pregnant too and we are probably due at about the same time again. This will be baby #5 for us.

I look forward to following your pregnancy and will send lots of sticky vibes your direction Smile

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Lisa! My sweet friend - huge hugs & huge congrats! What a whirlwind life has been for you & your family.

:bighug:

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I just want to extend a little encouragement to you. Your story is amazing... and in some ways similar to mine. I'm 38 (will be 39 tomorrow) and the mother of 4 boys (will be 5 boys very shortly!) My husband suffered a stroke in 2008 and is partially paralyzed. We were so focused on his recovery...he still has some physical limitations and uses a wheel chair. We never considered we could get pregnant again! Let a lone the fact that I thought I was done having children. Well, here I am, 37 weeks preg...and waiting to add our fifth and final!

Our #3 child is autistic..and in the beginning it was a huge challenge! He is a joy...unique and special for being who he is. He is a gift to our lives and this family! So I completely understand your feelings about your child with Down's.

This is your journey...it will be challenging and also rewarding! Take a deep breath and go for the ride. I'm sending sticky bean vibes to you! I'm looking forward in sharing in your journey! Congradulations! Smile

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Lisa!! It is wonderful to see you. I had been wondering how you were doing. I followed Finn's blog for awhile but lost the link when I got a new laptop in Feb.

I'm just amazed at your journey thus far. I hope this is the turning point for much happier news for your family. I'm thrilled you're having another baby. May it be an easy pregnancy and birth. Another homebirth?

All the best, mama. Looking forward to following this branch of your journey.

Lots-o-Tots's picture
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Really appreciate the warm welcome back from everyone - thank you! Yes, another home birth if all goes well. Already in touch with my mw, and will start seeing her in a few weeks.

ourfirstblessing's picture
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Hi Lisa, welcome back! I was due with my second just a few months after finnian. I was around here a bit while you had your lodge then followed Finnians blog for a while. Sorry for such a rough time for you and your husband but so glad to hear he's in remission! Hoping everything goes smoothly for this pregnancy and it can be a peaceful time for you and your family.

Have you told the kids yet? are they excited for a new wee one?

Lots-o-Tots's picture
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Kristen, hi! And congrats on your pregnancy also :). Yes, we've told the kids. They would have picked up on whispered conversations, and I've never been one to keep these things a secret, so. Some of them are excited, and a couple of them are worried about this baby ending up in the hospital like Finn did Sad

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:bighug::bighug:

What an amazing story with your son and your DH. I'm so glad that he's in remission. I too would be as scared as you are at this point given everything that you've been through... but I look at it as this was meant to be!! Either way, congrats on your pregnancy, and I hope you have a HH9M! I can't wait to follow your journey on here with your latest family member!

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Welcome back! Congratulations - I'm looking forward to following your journey!

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Lisa, I can only imagine what your whole family went through when Finn developed health problems and had to be in the hosp. I also vaguely remember people questioning whether your not your home birth 'caused' the problems (ignorant!) I really hope this birth and time after are very healing to your whole family and brings some great conversations with your older ones about being able to make the right choices for your family and how special it will be to welcome this little one at home surrounded by a loving family! Very much looking forward to having your knowledge and support on this board again :)!