But *I* want a homebirth!
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Thread: But *I* want a homebirth!

  1. #1
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    Default But *I* want a homebirth!

    I just have to vent. I am so jealous of all of you who are having homebirths with awesome midwives. I really want to have a homebirth, but there are only 3 midwives who do homebirths anywhere near where I live, and the two good ones are already all booked up and can't take any more clients around my due date And the other one is kind of a nutball and just getting back into delivering babies after a break and we would be her first birth in 8 years. She also didn't come across as totally confident. No, thank you. I need to feel like I can trust my team! I actually love my MW practice and the hospital is totally NCB-friendly (not just pretend "friendly" in the way a lot of hospitals are, like "yes we support natural birth, but we actually have no clue how to manage it and the nurses will still try to talk you into an epidural"). Most of the women who choose to deliver there do so because they want a natural birth and know this hospital is the place to go for that. So I feel like I will be totally supported in my natural birth, but it is still a hospital environment and I would so love to just stay home! The closer I get to delivery the more I want a homebirth. Oh, well, not in the cards this time. I did tell DH that if we ever have a 3rd, we're having a homebirth!
    Maggie
    Married Brian 8/11/07
    DS Griffin 1/18/09, DS Ronan 7/3/12



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    Posting Addict boilermaker's Avatar
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    ((HUGS)) I hope you can find peace with your options. You've hit the nail on the head for me, in that I wish every woman had REAL choices about where and how she gives birth. In so many areas, women don't have this choice.

    Our first two babies were born in Indiana, where HB is illegal. So I had hospital births. I just had to make do with the options available, but feel like it is far from ideal (I labored at home as long as possible.....but much of my hospital experience really really sucked.)

    I'm glad you have a NCB friendly hospital. More ((HUGS)). I hope you get the birth you desire!
    Audra
    DH Trey
    DD 8.03, DD 6.05, DS 3.07, DD 5.09, and DS arrived 6.17.12
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    Quote Originally Posted by boilermaker View Post
    I labored at home as long as possible.....but much of my hospital experience really really sucked.
    This was my experience too...my labor with DS was really amazingly easy at home, and as soon as I got to the hospital it started to suck. Part of that was definitely that I was in transition as soon as we arrived at the hospital, which was the most intense part of labor and I had a hard time managing it, but some of it was the chaotic, unfamiliar, clinical environment. Unfortunately, I CAN'T stay home for long because DS came so quickly and we have a 40 minute ride to the hospital now (it was 10 with DS, we moved to another state) and we barely made it to the hospital last time. I want a homebirth, but a carbirth doesn't sound so great. Plus being in the car during transition was awful. I'm hoping if we can get there when I'm still in the "easy" stage I'll feel more settled and at peace with my surroundings by the time the baby comes. My midwives are telling me to go to the hospital as soon as I even think I might be in labor, and worst case scenario it's a false alarm and they send me home (not likely if it is anything like the first birth). Anyway, it is what it is!
    Maggie
    Married Brian 8/11/07
    DS Griffin 1/18/09, DS Ronan 7/3/12



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    Posting Addict Spacers's Avatar
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    Keep looking! If you PM me your location, I can see who I have in my resources. And keep calling back the two that you liked. Other moms can get risked out of homebirth along the way so they might have an opening in the next few weeks. It's not too late until baby's already out. I found my midwife with Tiven when I was about 35 weeks! I'd called her at least 3 or 4 times earlier in pregnancy & she was always booked full, but I called again & she had an opening. I had to pay her entire fee up front, but she gave me a discount because I wasn't getting most of the prenatals.
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    Posting Addict cactuswren's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spacers View Post
    Keep looking! If you PM me your location, I can see who I have in my resources. And keep calling back the two that you liked. Other moms can get risked out of homebirth along the way so they might have an opening in the next few weeks. It's not too late until baby's already out. I found my midwife with Tiven when I was about 35 weeks! I'd called her at least 3 or 4 times earlier in pregnancy & she was always booked full, but I called again & she had an opening. I had to pay her entire fee up front, but she gave me a discount because I wasn't getting most of the prenatals.
    That's a really good point! I actually didn't get in to my birth center the first time I called either because I was transferring from an OB and they were booked for my birth month. I totally panicked...but I was only 14 weeks, and sure enough within just a few days they called me back with an opening.
    -Leigh-
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    Posting Addict Marite13's Avatar
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    Aw, Maggie... I know how you feel! I felt that way with my first... I REALLY wanted a home birth, but my DH just wasn't comfortable with it, and he insisted that if we don't birth at the hospital that we be within 5 minutes of the hospital- which would have meant birthing in a hotel or something. So, we ended up going with the hospital birth and I mostly came to peace with it... but it killed me to read all the home birth stories on here and be so jealous! Ah well.

    Spacers makes a good point though about checking in with those midwives- you never know! They might have an opening!
    Mara & Joel, 2009




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    Posting Addict jolly11sd's Avatar
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    That is a good point to keep checking.
    I feel you on this. I really wanted to have another HB with #3 but it just didn't work out. I would keep on calling those other 2 though. Space might just open up at the end.
    ~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by acqualin21 View Post
    I want a homebirth, but a carbirth doesn't sound so great.
    My friend's sister had her second baby in their minivan on the way to the hospital about a year ago! Her first baby was super fast, second baby super SUPER fast! Her husband refused to pull the car over while she delivered in the backseat! Apparently he was hellbent on getting to the hospital, but just couldn't drive fast enough. All was well, though! She delivered a healthy baby girl on her own in the backseat! Amazing.

    I really hope you can get the birth you want!! I agree, keep checking with the other two midwives! At the very least, it sounds like you have an awesome NCB hospital that you can fall back on to!
    Jen
    Owen: 2/21/10 (36w)
    Samuel: 6/26/12 (40w5d) -My VBAC baby!-
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  9. #9
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    I think a homebirth sounds amazing also. But DH is just not comfortable with it. I know a lot of it is my decision but I feel strongly that my husband needs to be comfortable with it also as he is very much involved also and his main concern is the safety of our baby as well as me if something were to go wrong. I have a cousin who is a certified home birth midwife, so I could probably go through her and get a family discount but I don't think DH wants to take that route. But the idea of delivering at home in my own comfortable setting is so cool. Wish I could do that also. My midwife at the hospital is great though and she is completely supportive of my NCB plans. She delivered DD2 for me and I was all natural then, and the hospital staff was supportive of me also and no one forced anything on me. So I do have a great hospital to deliver at. Just wish I had a home setting instead of hospital. Oh well...considering I am at a hospital, I have a pretty low key comfortable setting. I am allowed music for relaxation, the lights are low, not many people in and out when I am laboring, and I also get a room with a jacuzzi so that helps. But I can sympathize with you as I feel very similar to what you are feeling right now.
    ~Kimia
    Married to my sweet DH Olivier on 06/27/03

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    Jordan 06/04/04
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  10. #10
    Prolific Poster lexirunner's Avatar
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    I also wish I was having a homebirth. I had a med-free hospital birth with DS2, and it was ok. Like some of you said, labor was easy to manage until we transferred to the hospital. Just getting settled and all that took a lot out of me. My contractions slowed down so much once we got to pushing because I was suddenly aware of the 5 extra people in the room, and the OB that waltzed in at the last second.
    I opted for the hospital birth again for insurance reasons, but I got a really bad first impression on our tour. All they talked about was C-sections, and then hurried us out. When I vocalized that I plan to go natural, they offered no information or reassurance that they support that and instead, talked more about c-sections. Turns out they have a 30% c-section rate. At this point I wish I had explored my options further.
    If I'm negative for GBS, I'm laboring at home as long as possible, and hopefully will get into the hospital just in time to push baby out.
    DS Jaxon born 10/18/06 ** DS Wesley born 3/22/09 ** DS Henry born 6/11/12 ** 4 angels in heaven


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