Can I join you?

13 posts / 0 new
Last post
claireCJ's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/04/12
Posts: 742
Can I join you?

Hey Everyone- My name is Claire. I have been lurking for awhile and I posted awhile back with lots of questions for everyone about their birth experiences. I was trying to decide whether or not I was going to really try and go all natural with this baby's birth. I have talked to DH about it ALOT( I wanted to make sure he was on board 100 %)and talked to lots of other friends that have done it and I am happy to say that I plan on my next birth being an all natural one. I just wanted to introduce myself since I have been hanging around reading posts and Birth Lodges and starting to feel more informed and confident that I can do this. I have never tried it before. I have always gone into labor knowing I would just get an epidural when the pain got intense. I decided the last time that I would never ever get one again. There is something about being stuck in a bed, not being able to move your legs, not being able to tell what your body needs or is doing that greatly frustrated me last time. (Acutally both times, but I guess last time pissed me off enough to make a change.) I have just felt very compelled to try things differently and I believe I can do it. So I am excited to join you. I am only 18 weeks pregnant so I have lots of time to make a birth plan and figure out my options. Right now I plan on doing a hospital delievery and sticking with my OB. I trust my OB with my life and my child's life and we have a good relationship. She said that they will do everything possible to help me do it without drugs. I would like to get a tour of the hospital even though I have delievered there before just to ask them some questions from a new perspective. I am nervous about delivering there rather than our local birth center, but like I said, I LOVE my OB and I trust her so right now that is my plan. I just need to figure out what technique(s) I am going to use to help me thru the labor & delivery. Smile Thx for reading: I know this got a little long.

sarahsunshine's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

Welcome!

May I suggest you look into finding a doula to help you with your plan? Things can get pretty intense and a support peron who is with you all the time can be indispensable.

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/23/07
Posts: 624

Welcome! I look forward to following with you on this pregnancy journey.

Sweet Pea Twins's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 09/08/09
Posts: 922

Welcome!! I, too, am going natural for the first time - my first two births were inductions with epidurals. I also am sticking with a hospital birth and sticking with my OB, whom I trust and love, and who has said that he will support my decision to go as natural as possible.

I did hire a doula this time around, though. I figure that having someone there who is strictly there to support me and my choices can only increase my odds of a successful natural birth, and who may help me stand up to hospital staff and my OB if need be. Smile

So you're definitely not alone! Biggrin I look forward to getting to know you!

claireCJ's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/04/12
Posts: 742

Thanks ladies! Smile

I told my DH that I thought I NEEDED a doula to be able to get thru it at the hospital. Our hospital is pretty friendly to mothers who take the natural route, but I do worry that I will end up with that one nurse who keeps pushing me to get an epidural or the one jerk Dr in my practice who doesn't listen to my wishes. My DH said he won't let them do anything we don't want, but since neither one of us have experienced this before I think it's a good idea to have extra support from someone who does this with women all the time.

tink9702's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Hi Claire!

Welcome! I think a doula might be a good idea for you as well. Your DH might get too nervous in the end to stand up to a doctor who is possibly stretching the truth a little bit about you needing drugs or whatnot. It will also allow your DH to just be with you and support you but not feel like he's the only one you are depending on.

knhoward's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 month 3 weeks ago
Joined: 04/22/08
Posts: 999

Welcome! I just had my first natural birth after 2 epidural births (one was augmented and one was a cervidil induction) Anyways, I found that natural birth amazing. I had a home birth and I also had a doula. I would highly recommend getting a doula if you plan to be in the hospital. It's just another person to advocate for your wishes and also support you and your DH.

alwayssmile's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 1 month ago
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

Welcome!
With my son I really wanted a natural birth, but in the end I learned I just wasn't as prepared as I could have been. I had read a lot, but hadn't really done much else which hurts when your birth in a hospital setting. This time I'm doing the hypnobabies home study (no classes near us). I'm working on trying to find a doula that will travel to the city we live in and to the city where the hospital is that I'll give birth (no local doulas, all are at the hospital city and don't really want to travel here or aren't free). After my experiences with my son I do encourage others to take a true natural childbirth class or get a doula who will work with you beforehand and during the whole labor (or both!). I found it hard to stay calm to think through what I knew to help myself and well my husband was useless then (not his fault, he truly didn't have time to learn a darn thing to be helpful). I'm surrounding myself with positive beautiful natural birth stories this time as well - nothing "mainstream" America allowed! Wink Congrats!!!

Offline
Last seen: 2 years 3 months ago
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

Welcome!!

I echo everyone who said "get a doula". Continuous support is essential! Hubbies are great to have with you, but I found when the going got tough I NEEDED my mom with me. She was a labour coach for years and knew how to support a labouring woman. It was very important to me to have her there for the constant support.

TiggersMommy's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 11 months ago
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Hi and welcome!!

I'll tack on a ditto for the doula. I was stubbornly determined to have a natural birth, my DH was 1000% on board, I took Hypnobirthing classes, and I read every book under the sun. Still, I reached a point during my labor when I probably would have asked for an epidural had that option been available to me at my birth center. Your state of mind matters just as much (if not more) than the willingness of your birth team to push for your natural birth. Simply having the option there for you might push you to ask for it and its likely that you'll need someone there to really work with you to keep you going. Someone who has seen all that before, who isn't nervous, and for who the success of your natural birth actually matters. Your OB and the nurses might swear up and down that they'll support you in natural birth but when it comes down to it they're unlikely to actively work with you to achieve it. A doula will.

I also recommend that you go visit the birth center. Maybe take a natural birthing class there (many offer such things). It can't hurt and it might just change your mind.

claireCJ's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 04/04/12
Posts: 742

Thanks for all the responses and good advice! How did most of you go about finding a doula? How much did you pay for yours?

I have a couple of friends/ acquaintances that I know who have done it in the hospital and at the local birthing center. I know for sure at least one had a doula so I will ask her who she used and start from there.

I also visited the Birthing Center here. I do like it and I felt very comfortable there. They have a HUGE amazingly beautiful tub. It's got this mural behind it and it looks very relaxing. At first I thought it would be the only place I could even have a natural childbirth(besides at home.) I just wasn't sure if I, personally, would be able to do it in the stressful hospital. I think that may have been around the time I came on here and posted my questions to see if anyone thought it was even possible for me to do it in the hospital and I got lots of good feedback and Yes responses. I have started talking to my OB about it and DH and I will take a tour so that I can ask my million questions. If it ends up making me uncomfortable, then I will most likely go to the birthing center. I think we will be able to tell whether or not we want to go thru with it there. The main reason I am sticking with the hospital at this point is because I really like our hospital and have had nothing but positive experienes with the staff and Drs when I have stayed there before. Plus my OB has been there for me thru my last delievery which was the baby we lost and had to deliever. She was so kind and I felt so cared for by her. She stayed with me all day and night even though she wasn't supposed to be working. I just love her. Sorry- long again!

Sweet Pea Twins's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 09/08/09
Posts: 922

I found my doula online by doing a local search, though now, since I have been seeing a prenatal chiropractor at a local birth center, I have learned of all kinds of resources and places to find doulas. If you're in a large metropolitan area, you should find it very easy to find doulas, but even in smaller areas you can usually find resources. Start with dona.org - they have a "search for a doula" feature on the left hand side of their page near the top. The other best place to get recommendations for doulas: a birth center! Once I got a few names and looked into them, I contacted a couple and met with them to see who was a good fit.

http://www.dona.org/

Or you could get lucky and have a great local resource like I found in my area: http://childbirthcollective.org/

Doulas fees will vary from doula to doula and in different areas. The one I am using is charging me $500, and that includes all of the prenatal stuff - she's met with DH and I at our home, coached me on positioning, nutrition, etc. and I still have another home visit scheduled with her. She also will come to my home to help me labor there for as long as I want before I head to the hospital so I can increase my chances of a natural birth. Additionally, she will encapsulate my placenta for me for a reduced fee. She gives me a lot of confidence which is, I think, the most important part of a natural childbirth!

Anyway, good luck! Biggrin

tink9702's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

It sounds like you really have a caring OB. I can see not wanting to trust someone new when you have someone you already trust. Smile I'm very sorry for your loss.

If you can't find a doula, a natural birthing class is even more important. You need actual techniques to have on hand for labor IMHO.